Could someone read my story and then تبصرہ on it???

link

That's the link to it. It's just the first page, but I گیا کیا پوسٹ the whole first chapter سے طرف کی pages so it won't seem like a long dragging on story.
 Heya posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
next question »

Random جوابات

storylover said:
If آپ want A serious feedback شامل میں link
select as best answer
posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
next question »