May I kindly ask for your opinions?

I want your opinions on a poem I wrote recently. I mostly draw cartoons, so I'm new to this form of art. :) It's a love poem, سے طرف کی the way, to Ringo Starr.

Vertical man
how do آپ stay positive
at times of war?
How do آپ smile
knowing what's going on
outside of your door?

He put his arm around my shoulder
And patted my head
And then he said

Sweetie, my dear
I have rock & roll in my heart
as long as I know that I have دوستوں and my music
to keep my own world at peace
that's all I need
to keep my smile

I looked at his eyes
as they looked down to me
His were always so pretty and filled with glee
even if sometimes
they were hidden
behind dark glasses

I understood what he was trying to say
but what I didn't understand
was why the vertical man
couldn't bring my smile back to me
I got up,
started to walk away, started to gently weep

But the Vertical man halted me
and he hugged me
It was a hug so very tight
that I thought my heart
was about to go explodey

he then told me something
that I would always think back to
whenever I was blue

آپ have this thing called rock
in your heart, too
آپ also have another nice thing
I call this art

The vertical man gave me a flower, and shook my hand
I gave him a hug, a kiss on the cheek, a thank آپ for my glee.

I was disappointed, though, that he now had to leave
But I had this feeling
that we could meet again

His aura was so whimsical
so wonderful

I guess that's why
they call him

Mr. Starr.


 theCakeArtist posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
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Random جوابات

jessieinCA said:
Wow its really good! I actually like poetry now because of this poem.
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
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Thank آپ very much! :)
theCakeArtist posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
iamagagamonster said:
Uhhh its really... wordy.
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
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anyways, its really good! :]
iamagagamonster posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
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Thanks! :)
theCakeArtist posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
tanaluvsbieber said:
well its different
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
Puffedwarrior said:
I write poetry and I must say, your poem is pretty impressive!
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
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Thank you!
theCakeArtist posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Goldilottes said:
I write poetry also.
Yours is very good interesting and impressive, keep it up.
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
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Thanks!
theCakeArtist posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
animegrl52p said:
great job!
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
BlindBandit92 said:
I'm not really an expert on poetry but in my honest
opinion,I really thought it was good.
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
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