I wrote a chapter to a book I wanna make. Does it sound good?

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I wrote this and put it up as a article. Some of آپ might of already read some of this, but I just some مزید up to see if آپ would like this. Thankies!
 CrystalNeons posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
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MikuPockyPocky said:
Holy crap, I love this!!!!!! Awesome job, write moar!!! :3
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
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Thank you! I'm working on it right now ^^
CrystalNeons posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
prettyme16 said:
I really like it! :) keep up the good job!
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
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Thank you!!
CrystalNeons posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
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i reckon when آپ finish this story, it should so become a movie! i want more!!!!
prettyme16 posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
laura199627 said:
It´s really interesting and pretty good, great job!
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
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