1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
2. If آپ have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
3. Start each meal سے طرف کی conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."
4. Name your dog "Dog."
5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what آپ think."
7. Claim that آپ must always wear a bicycle ہیلمیٹ as part of your "astronaut training."
8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying مزید any moment.
11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that آپ "like it that way."
12. Tell 1-800 operators they sound gay and ask for a date.
13. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
14. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
15. Order a side of pork rinds with your fillet mignon.
16. Change channels five منٹ before the end of every show.
17. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies.
18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints سے طرف کی the cash register.
19. Buy a large quantity of مالٹا, نارنگی traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
20. Repeat everything someone says as a question.
21. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps.
22. Inform everyone آپ meet of your personal Kennedy assassination, UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do آپ hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."
24. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
25. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
26. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
27. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read.
28. Ask people what gender they are.
29. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
30. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
31. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
32. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
33. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
34. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
35. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
36. Wear a lot of cologne.
37. Listen to 33RPM records at 45RPM speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
38. Sing along at the opera.
39. Mow your lawn with scissors.
40. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhwing-batter!"
41. Ask the waitress for an extra نشست for your "imaginary friend."
42. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
43. Ask your co-workers mysterious سوالات and then scribble their جوابات in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
44. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
45. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
46. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
47. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
48. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
49. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
50. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
51. Practice making fax and modem noises.
52. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.
53. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
54. Signal that a conversation is over سے طرف کی clamping your hands over your ears.
55. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink کارتوس, ٹونٹا across the room.
56. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
57. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
58. Publicly investigate just how slowly آپ can make a "croaking" noise.
59. Honk and wave to strangers.
60. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
61. type only in lowercase.
62. dont use any punctuation either
63. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
64. Try playing the William Tell Overture سے طرف کی tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
65. Sing the theme to the Batman ویژن ٹیلی دکھائیں as loudly as آپ can, over and over and over..
66. Tell people their accent isn't fooling anyone.
67. Drum on every available surface.
68. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
69. Set alarms for random times.
70. Learn Morse code and have conversations with دوستوں in public consisting of "Beeeep bip bip beeeep bip.."
71. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
72. Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.
73. Dress only in clothes coloured Hunter's Orange.
74. Wear your pants backwards.
75. Begin all your sentences with "ohh la la!"
76. Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music."
77. Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-landscape mode.
78. Pay for your رات کے کھانے, شام کا کھانا with pennies.
79. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
80. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
81. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
82. Demand that everyone address آپ as "Conquistador."
83. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
84. When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
85. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
86. Finish the 99 bottles of بیئر song.
87. Sing the "This is the song that never ends" song from Lampchop's Play-Along.
88. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
89. Pretend your ماؤس is a CB radio, and talk into it.
90. Drive half a block.
91. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
92. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a southern drawl.
93. "Forget" the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
94. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that آپ don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."
95. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar," یا the Mr. Rogers theme song.
96. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
97. Ask to "interface" with someone.
98. Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky وکٹ isn't cricket."
99. Stare at static on the TV and claim آپ can see a "magic picture."
100. Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
2. If آپ have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
3. Start each meal سے طرف کی conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."
4. Name your dog "Dog."
5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what آپ think."
7. Claim that آپ must always wear a bicycle ہیلمیٹ as part of your "astronaut training."
8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying مزید any moment.
11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that آپ "like it that way."
12. Tell 1-800 operators they sound gay and ask for a date.
13. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
14. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
15. Order a side of pork rinds with your fillet mignon.
16. Change channels five منٹ before the end of every show.
17. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies.
18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints سے طرف کی the cash register.
19. Buy a large quantity of مالٹا, نارنگی traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
20. Repeat everything someone says as a question.
21. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps.
22. Inform everyone آپ meet of your personal Kennedy assassination, UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do آپ hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."
24. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
25. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
26. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
27. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read.
28. Ask people what gender they are.
29. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
30. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
31. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
32. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
33. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
34. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
35. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
36. Wear a lot of cologne.
37. Listen to 33RPM records at 45RPM speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
38. Sing along at the opera.
39. Mow your lawn with scissors.
40. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhwing-batter!"
41. Ask the waitress for an extra نشست for your "imaginary friend."
42. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
43. Ask your co-workers mysterious سوالات and then scribble their جوابات in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
44. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
45. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
46. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
47. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
48. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
49. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
50. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
51. Practice making fax and modem noises.
52. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.
53. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
54. Signal that a conversation is over سے طرف کی clamping your hands over your ears.
55. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink کارتوس, ٹونٹا across the room.
56. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
57. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
58. Publicly investigate just how slowly آپ can make a "croaking" noise.
59. Honk and wave to strangers.
60. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
61. type only in lowercase.
62. dont use any punctuation either
63. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
64. Try playing the William Tell Overture سے طرف کی tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
65. Sing the theme to the Batman ویژن ٹیلی دکھائیں as loudly as آپ can, over and over and over..
66. Tell people their accent isn't fooling anyone.
67. Drum on every available surface.
68. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
69. Set alarms for random times.
70. Learn Morse code and have conversations with دوستوں in public consisting of "Beeeep bip bip beeeep bip.."
71. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
72. Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.
73. Dress only in clothes coloured Hunter's Orange.
74. Wear your pants backwards.
75. Begin all your sentences with "ohh la la!"
76. Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music."
77. Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-landscape mode.
78. Pay for your رات کے کھانے, شام کا کھانا with pennies.
79. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
80. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
81. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
82. Demand that everyone address آپ as "Conquistador."
83. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
84. When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
85. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
86. Finish the 99 bottles of بیئر song.
87. Sing the "This is the song that never ends" song from Lampchop's Play-Along.
88. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
89. Pretend your ماؤس is a CB radio, and talk into it.
90. Drive half a block.
91. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
92. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a southern drawl.
93. "Forget" the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
94. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that آپ don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."
95. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar," یا the Mr. Rogers theme song.
96. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
97. Ask to "interface" with someone.
98. Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky وکٹ isn't cricket."
99. Stare at static on the TV and claim آپ can see a "magic picture."
100. Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
2.if u r on your peroid یا nawt!!
3.Who آپ talk 2 on the phone
4.THat آپ are super jelous یا other girls (or boys)
5.That آپ hate most of his family.
6.THat when a crisi comes up آپ will run to him
7.What yuor style is!!
8.That like to watch scary movies(LOL)
9.That آپ have an internet profile.
10.AND the last your cell number!! OMG they practliy break the phone!!!
11.How smart آپ are at fixing things.
GIRLS STAY KEWL,BEAUTYFUL, and if any guys try to break tht BREAK THEYRE FACe!!!!
1. Cause it felt like it.
2. mayb it wanted 2. EVR THINK OF THAT!!!!!????
3. It wanted 2 make chiken soup
4. it wanted some chiken soup.
5. it needed 2 get to the other side
6. it saw Justin Bieber (all chickens r شائقین of him u no)
7. on the other side of the road was a KFC
8. the ppl on his side kept asken Y did the chicken پار, صلیب the road
9. he had reasons 2
10. he was lost
11. he wanted to make this joke
12. he wanted 2 bcome famous with this joke.
P.S. i coodnt member the rest of the original joke!lol
2. mayb it wanted 2. EVR THINK OF THAT!!!!!????
3. It wanted 2 make chiken soup
4. it wanted some chiken soup.
5. it needed 2 get to the other side
6. it saw Justin Bieber (all chickens r شائقین of him u no)
7. on the other side of the road was a KFC
8. the ppl on his side kept asken Y did the chicken پار, صلیب the road
9. he had reasons 2
10. he was lost
11. he wanted to make this joke
12. he wanted 2 bcome famous with this joke.
P.S. i coodnt member the rest of the original joke!lol
Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the سب, سب سے اوپر of a 75 story sky scraper. After a long دن of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill کہا to Jim and Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task سے طرف کی concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!"
Almost every week, BBC publishes 10 things we learn every week. Here are the facts from this week.
1. iPhones are not yet sold in China.
2. Margaret Thatcher suffered one Parliamentary defeat as Prime Minister - on Sunday trading laws.
3. English holidaymakers drink an average of eight alcoholic drinks a day.
4. The UK population grew in مزید 2008 than at any time since 1962.
5. Meanwhile, Germany's population is shrinking.
6. West Ham's stadium is really called the Boleyn Ground, not Upton Park.
7. The smell of cut گھاس makes people happy.
8. A pint glass lasts an average of only three months.
9. An Englishman sailed to the "New World" only two years after the first European is thought to have landed in Newfoundland.
10. Men in China cannot marry until they are 22.
Hopefully there will be مزید اگلے week.
1. iPhones are not yet sold in China.
2. Margaret Thatcher suffered one Parliamentary defeat as Prime Minister - on Sunday trading laws.
3. English holidaymakers drink an average of eight alcoholic drinks a day.
4. The UK population grew in مزید 2008 than at any time since 1962.
5. Meanwhile, Germany's population is shrinking.
6. West Ham's stadium is really called the Boleyn Ground, not Upton Park.
7. The smell of cut گھاس makes people happy.
8. A pint glass lasts an average of only three months.
9. An Englishman sailed to the "New World" only two years after the first European is thought to have landed in Newfoundland.
10. Men in China cannot marry until they are 22.
Hopefully there will be مزید اگلے week.