Writing Help And Criticism مضامین | Original مضامین on Fanpop

posted by Supergirl14

The club
We got to “Club monstruo” Their was the bouncer who really smiled when I showed up he let me in and looked at my دوستوں with discontent, “They are with me, Mitchell!”He smiled again, “any friend of Angela is a friend of mine,”He replied in his gruff voice. Smoke and strobe lights, half-dressedgirls andboys dancing filled the room, “where isJuli,"I yelled, a girl almost half my size(I am 6'5)black hair /w pale گلابی streaks in a messy bun came in, the bulimic look did not fit her, she looked like a skank and did not look good as one. “ready to get it good?” I asked."only...

Welcome to Birchmoss Ch. 1

posted by cassie-1-2-3

“WELCOME TO BIRCHMOSS”, read the large purple letters on the green sign placed at the boarder of my new home. “Why did we have to leave, anyways?”, I whined to my mother.
    “Well, آپ didn’t want to stay, did you, Violet?”
    “Yes…”
    “Why?”
    “Because I was happy where we were.” Where we belonged.
    “No آپ weren’t.”
    “I was content.” I said, leaning the side of my head against the passenger car window, slightly shocked at how...

100 Rooms Prologue (Should I continue

posted by Weasel1999

Prologue
She never knew she had an uncle until her parents died. It’s strange how- sometimes in life when آپ lose important people in your life آپ gain some more.
Her mother and father died in a house fire. No one knew how it started except the one daughter who managed to survive.
But she was in no state to tell. She suffered mild burns but her mind suffered worst of all. She never spoke again.
She was kept in hospital for six months but eventually she was packed off to her uncle Scipio. She was thirteen years old and many کہا it was a crime sending a child off to such an evil man as Scipio....

100 Rooms Ch 5

posted by Weasel1999

V The Bedroom
When Ember finally found a bedroom it was well worth the wait. A gorgeous raised four poster filled the centre of the room. The hangings were made up of crimson and indigo velvet square patches and the wood was jet black with intricate carvings of dragons, princesses and magical palaces climbing up and down the posts. The bedclothes were of dusky گلابی silk and embroidered with beautiful jewels of the most wonderful colours imaginable. Reds and purples green and blues, they shone and sparkled dazzling in splendour.
The walls were hung with beautiful portraits, satin scarfs and tapestries...

Falling Behind Ch.1

posted by tigerseye43

Flair sat at the سب, سب سے اوپر of a 20 story building, her legs dangaling over the edge. She closed her eyes as the breeze flowed through her hair. She had on a black crop سب, سب سے اوپر with the words 'love life' written in سونا cursive letters across it and had on black skinny jeans. She wore black high سب, سب سے اوپر Converse and a black chain ہار with a charm on it. She looked out over the city and sighed. A few tears rolled down her cheeks and fell to the ground below.
"Why? Why did this have to happen. Why me?" she کہا quietly to herself.
*******
Lane was walking down below a tall building. He felt something wet...

Thoughts of ashes

posted by Supergirl14

The Plan
I looked in the cracked mirror, Sad and lonley...Well not lonley, I did have my circus preformers(or slaves as I was taught to call them)But most of them thougt I was a freak! I know they woun't dare say that to my face, but I hear them,"I hate her so much,"and,"she is such a freak!"(I hate when pepole call me that!)
What did I do wrong?I gave them everything they needed,and made sure they were perfect.They work three hours a day, how hard is that, I work non-stop.I always try to make sure I'm perfect in every way,but there is always something wrong in my routine.I always try to make...

1

Micheal Ryder

posted by bri-marie

Micheal Ryder swerved sharply to the left, almost missing the small driveway he was supposed to be turning into. He winced as his pickup truck made the rough transition between concrete and gravel. It was something he was going to have to get used to – he'd be driving down this path every دن for who knew how long. A particularly large rock dislodged him from his seat, and he let out a foul explicative as his blond head bashed against the ceiling of the cab. Cursing his father, and the owners of the house he was renting, he slammed the truck to a stop. Not caring that he was still yards away...

Note from 3nala

posted by 3nala

ارے guys,

Hope آپ enjoy the محفوظ haven I set up for us! Make lots of دوستوں and have fun sharing stories یا fanfic! This is the ultimate writing club!Listen,spread word if آپ can. This club will be the best in history! The link is گیا کیا پوسٹ below. Post it on other writing کلب یا other sites INVOLVING WRITERS (we're not spammers). This will be a writer's heaven, where they can express their feelings یا share stories. Give all your writing دوستوں a big welcome! Welcome them to this club, and nobody, NOBODY, will regret it.

Sincerely,
3nala,creator,owner, and sincere member of this club.

I don't know what to call this but it's the prologue of my new story :)

posted by Weasel1999

Prologue

The sun is just منٹ from rising and the night is growing lighter. An alter made entirely of blue marble, jade, and amethyst is illuminated. Two tiny babies lie on سب, سب سے اوپر writhing and screaming in discomfort. They are naked, only a few days old and the chill of the stone slowly seeping into their bones will surely kill them. The larger of the two will not stop screaming while her twin just sobs quietly.
Their frail mother stands a few feet away determined to finish what she came here to do but her eyes are bloodshot and red raw from her constant tears. But she is not alone. Her husband...

100 rooms ch 4

posted by Weasel1999

IV The Bathroom
Ember had been wandering aimlessly around the endless corridors and baffling twists and turns when she saw how dark it was getting outside. She would have checked her watch if she had one, but she didn’t so she hazarded a guess at it being about 10, 11 o’clock. She was exhausted and needed to find somewhere to sleep.
But first she wanted to take a shower. She hadn’t washed since she arrived at the mansion and it showed. Her soft skin which was normally a delicate pale چینی مٹی کے برتن was now covered with a light layer of grime.
She had changed a lot since the fire. Her hair...

100 Rooms Ch 3 tell me what آپ think plz!

posted by Weasel1999

III The Library
The اگلے room Ember visited was to her a Heaven on Earth. An enormous room just for holding books! The ceiling was so high it would have taken ten of her standing on سب, سب سے اوپر of one another the reach it. The shelves and shelves of کتابیں were piled right up to the سب, سب سے اوپر and there were several ladders placed conveniently so that she could reach the topmost books.
Ember walked round the room as though she were in a dream. She loved reading and devoured every book she found but she had never had a whole لائبریری full of them to herself. She barely knew where to start. Every square inch of...

100 Rooms ch2 (Please Comment!)

posted by Weasel1999

II The Kitchen.

Unsure where to go Ember dithered in the corridor outside the nursery for almost ten منٹ the اگلے morning. But soon the delicious smell of apples and cinnamon reached her nose.
She followed the scent until she reached a large old fashioned kitchen. An old, wooden table, worn and scrubbed filled the middle of the room. It was the biggest باورچی خانے, باورچی خانہ Ember had ever saw. One side of the room was simply all cupboards and drawers of all different shapes and coloured. Ember’s curiosity burned but she was distracted سے طرف کی a large woman wearing an apron. She was taking a steaming apple...

100 Rooms Chapter One

posted by Weasel1999

I. The Nursery

Ember lived in her nursery for the اگلے few months, only being let out occasionally to go to the toilet. All she saw were the four walls around her but it wasn’t all bad.
The room was painted a pretty sky-blue and the carpet was thick, fluffy and a deep midnight blue. There was a بستر and a huge white wardrobe with the most beautiful, پرانے زمانے, قدیم شکل clothes inside.
Rich velvets cloaks, soft فر, سمور stoles, bright silk dresses, every item of clothing needed to make a young lady of society look beautiful.
But Ember was not a young lady of society living in Victorian times. She was a...

Intorduction to my story...good یا bad?

posted by TheFan10

Chapter 1

I stared at the last piece of cake in the fridge. It took every bit of my being to close the door of that fridge and walk away. This always happened; every time I stayed at ہوم with nothing to do I took to food to entertain me, which usually meant a lot of self loathing for the days afterwards as I realised how much I eat.
Mum and Dad were gone to an office party and I was left to mind the house, with my older brother Logan, we usually cracked up the karaoke and went wild when left سے طرف کی ourselves but tonight he wasn’t feeling well, which was very unusual, so he went to sleep around...

Ghostly Love

posted by cl411

Myth, fantasy, hallucination: my story has been called all these things. I know that when آپ read this آپ will be shocked, awed, and terrified. Just remember, my story is true, fact, and based on real events…
    “Claire,” my mother yelled, practically in my ear, “We need to leave for your therapy session یا we will be late, again!” I rolled my eyes like I always do. Mother never thought much of these “stories.” She told my they were just that, just stories.
    Anyway, back to my story. Well, let me start from the beginning.
    “Left,...

the بھیڑیا Man / transformation 1

posted by axemnas

This is a excerpt from some notes in my Novel the بھیڑیا Man an adaptation of Curt Siodmak's 1941 screenplay the بھیڑیا Man. starring Lon Chaney Jr. enjoy,comment, etc.
-------------------------
The sky had begun to turn to dusk and the moon was getting ready to rise.
Béla and Maleva were still heading down the old wagon road heading to their site
Béla is starting to get nervous as the mounting suspense of what will happen on the full moon started to build.
He watched the sky while keeping an eye on the sky his head began to give him a burning sensation a sensation he had never felt before his heart...

the بھیڑیا Man / transformation 2

posted by axemnas

This is a excerpt from some notes in my Novel the بھیڑیا Man which is an adaptation of Curt Siodmak's 1941 screenplay the بھیڑیا Man. starring Lon Chaney Jr.
enjoy,comment, etc.

Traveling for quite a few additional days and nights; finally the time came the time of the full moon arrived our anticipation arise to hit its peak at this point.

The crimson late afternoon sky began to convert to dusk. As we were traveling down along the dirt road. The pale moon was bit سے طرف کی bit rising in to position. Béla nervously kept an angled glance on the sky watching for the moon and the path.

Béla Lugosi...

1

Phantom

posted by bri-marie

Warning:this could be considered inappropriate سے طرف کی someone under thirteen.
--------------------------------------------------

He comes to me in my dreams,
an unnamed, masked Phantom.
He never speaks --
I'm not even sure if he can.

His onyx eyes never stray from me,
nor mine from him.
They constantly pierce me with their darkness,
making my body react in ways never thought possible.
His large, velvety hands never touch another --
His thoughts never wander from me.
I know this, despite the fact that he never speaks.
I know this, though I know not how.

He always wears a cape and mask,
both deepest black and...

RULES OF THE WRITING HELP AND CRITICISM CLUB

posted by 3nala

3nala here,
As it says in the تفصیل above (looks up there), I created this club. Please follow the rules so that we get along nicely 8):

1. No bullying ( آپ all know what that means )
2. Please, no spam ( spam is not writing, it's spam )
3. Cussing is language, so I'll allow it
4. Do whatever آپ like
5. This isn't really a rule, but if I catch ANYONE breaking the rules I'll apply 2 of the consequences below.

Consequences ( seriously ) :
Minor offense:
1. Lecture گیا کیا پوسٹ on offender's wall.
Major offense:
1. Lecture and/or banning from this club.
2. SENT TO THE DUNGEON! ...just kidding 8)

So, have fun and write your دل out. P.S. the Grammar Police aren't allowed here, to shorten spam. But I'd prefer it if آپ guys kept to how everything is supposed to be spelled.

Sincerely,
Club Owner and Member,
3nala