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Guys - not sure if you\'re aware and/or bothered, but One Direction\'s new album Made in the A.M. is now (legally) out there on planet Earth ready to penetrate those two holes you\'ve got on the sides of your head.
Yup - those four fellas by the names of Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles and Niall Horan who entered the X Factor as solo singer-types have done alright for themselves, really. Some arguably-quite-successful stadium tours, a fair few fans, more awards than Harry has pairs of sparkly booties. So, five-and-a-bit years on and one member down, have the boys still got what it takes to rule the pop landscape? \'Best Song Ever\' Leeroy seemed to think so when we chatted to him.
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Basically us Sugarscape lot are gonna get our SERIOUS MUSIC JOURNO on and do a track-by-track review thingy. Also we\'ve included all the tracks \'cos a) context and b) streaming = sales, people.
Well there we were thinking \'Hey Angel\' was gonna be a slowy to make us cry and have a slight emotional breakdown over, judging by all of Harry\'s cryptic lyric tweets. Instead the album kicks off with power guitars, anthemic vocals and a vibe that was basically made for slow clapping and swaying on stadium tours.
Best line: \'Yeah I see you at the bar, at the edge of my bed, backseat of my car, in the back of my head.\' because it reminds us of Professor Quirrell and Voldemort in the back of his head.
Listen to it when... You\'re in the car with your dad. He won\'t tell you to turn this one off because it sounds very U2 so you might get away with keeping the whole album on then.
We\'re gonna pretend you haven\'t already listened to this one a thousand times, alright? It\'s gritty, it makes you want to triumphantly punch things, and then you remember Harry flipping his hair around in the music video and things just get even better. NOBODY NOBODY.
Best line: \'I\'ve got fire in my heart, I\'m not scared of the dark,\'because it\'s nice to know that Niall isn\'t quite so reliant on his night light anymore, bless him
Listen to it when... It feels like the world is against you and you need a reminder that actually, you\'re bloody awesome and really quite badass. Just like this song.
The chances are that \'Perfect\' is already one of your fave One Direction tracks of all time, because it\'s just so bloody good and we\'re still not over it. It\'s like your classic pop love song stuck in a tornado, with loads of added cheekiness and Harry Styles asking if you\'d like to join him in a hotel room.
And y\'know, there\'s the whole added bonus of the fact it may or may not be about a certain world renound popstar.
Best line: \'If you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms and if you like having secret little rendezvous,\' because Harry saying the word \'rendezvous\' is our new life aesthetic.
Listen to it when...You\'re feeling sassy af, walking down the road with your headphones in and want to feel like you\'re in a music video. Yeah, we really like pretending we\'re in a music video alright? It\'s a recurring theme.
This heartbreak ballad is catchier than nits in a year 6 science lesson, and has the kind of dreamy, swooping chorus that will have you swaying back and forth with your phone light in the air in the middle of your living room.
Best line: \'How many nights does it take to count the stars? That\'s the time it would take to fix my heart
Listen to it when...You\'ve been dumped/just seen pics of your 1D fave smooching a human being who isn\'t you.
We\'re just going to say it: this track is everything. If it isn\'t a single then we\'re going to be forced to start some serious shit, because it\'s the perfect showcase of all the boys\' vocals and in particular Louis, who nails those high notes like it ain\'t no thang *cue sassy hair flick*
Best line: \'I set you on fire babe, and down came the lightning on me.\' Quite questionable (although to be fair, if Niall asked to light us on fire, we\'d probably let him)
Listen to it when...You need your faith restored during the long cold winter that\'s set to be the One Direction hiatus.
The opening chords of this song remind us of Robbie Williams\' \'Angels\' and the song that follows is just as iconic. Soft and sweet, it\'s a simple love song packed with longing and sadness that\'s sure to be on repeat on MP3 players across the world all winter long.
Best line: \'I\'m missing half of me when we\'re apart. Now you know me, for your eyes only
Listen to it when... It\'s cold out, you\'re wrapped up in you\'re coat and scarf and you\'re having yourself a movie montage moment.
Ooh this one\'s a bit Oasis-y, innit? Think \'Half the World Away\' meets \'Story Of My Life\' with a big old Paynis first verse GIVING US LIFE.
Best line: \'We made a fire, went down in the flames. We sailed the ocean, and drowned in a wave.\' Essentially sums up how much we\'re dying listening to MitAM.
Listen to it when... You\'re on a long car journey late at night, staring out the window looking at the setting sun and pretending to be in a music video. Specifics, people.
Niall Horan recently explained: "[\'Never Enough\'] was kind of a new sound that we had never tried before," and we totally get what he means. We\'re getting The Jungle Book vibes, namely from the repeated \'HOAHS,\' fingers clicks and the brass section in the middle.
Best line: \'Too much is never enough\' aka our thoughts on One Direction always and forever, amen
Listen to it when...You\'re eating a big brunch on a Sunday and preparing to kick ass (read: watch more Netflix episodes than ever before.)
Soz Georgia Rose and Diana, it\'s all about Olivia now – and after hearing the lads singing about how much they love her, we\'re considering legally changing our name. Thoughts?
Best line: \'When you go and I\'m alone, you live in my imagination. Summertime, butterflies, all belong to your creation.\' So can Nialler write this in a love letter for us now or nah?
Listen to it when...You\'re feeling proper content with life and fancy listening to a toe tapper.
Well we can totally see why this one\'s Big Payno\'s fave on the whole album. The Fleetwood Mac feels are strong, it\'s so chill the only thing it\'s missing is the whole Netflix element and d\'ya know what? We kind of think of it as, like, really good elevator music. It\'s basically breezy af.
Best line: \'With no way out and a long way down, everybody needs someone around
.\' The way Louis says \'down\' just does ridiculous things to us. It\'s unfair.
Listen to it when... You\'re chillin\' on a beach in the Balearic Islands
with a Fab lolly. Or a beach in Blackpool with some soggy chips wrapped in newspaper. Probably more realistic.
We sort of see this one as the \'Night Changes\' of Made in the A.M. mainly \'cos a) it\'s a big ol\' ballad blubfest and b) there\'s mention of clothing reminiscent of that dress the mum didn\'t like.
Best line: \'Why you wearing that to walk out of my life? Even though it\'s over you should say tonight.\' We always picture the subject walking out of Harry\'s life wearing a unicorn onesie. Dunno why.
Essentially this one\'s about needing one last night with bae before you break it off. Don\'t be fooled, though, it\'s about shagging.
Listen to it when... You\'ve had an argument with the cat or something. It\'s one of those proper belt-it-out-in-your-bedroom tunes.
This one gives us proper \'Hey There Delilah\' vibes (OH HEY TOMMO) vibes, y\'know? It\'s so stripped back it\'s the musical equivalent of that time Liam hung out on a balcony in his boxers, sort of sounds a bit like a lullaby and the lads get to properly show off those vocal chops.
Best line: \'I wanna build you a boat, one as strong as you are free.\' Jesus Christ on a trike these boys are adorable. CUTE ROMANTIC GESTURE ALERT.
Listen to it when... You\'re having the laziest of Sundays or potentially putting together a scrapbook. That\'s just what we picture ourselves doing at this point.
Oh, we so wanna hear this one in a stadium setting. Imagine thousands of Directioners chating that chorus and bringing that happy-clappy melody to life. This is the fans\' song, innit?
Best line: \'This is not the end, this is not the end.\' Alla y\'all saying 1D are \'over,\' take note.
Listen to it when... You want that extra bit of swag in your step while you\'re doing you\'re Christmas shopping.
Not gonna lie, \'Temporary Fix\' is essentially the \'Girl Almighty\' of this album. Like, we swear you can sing the verses over the top of it and it sort of still works. It\'s upbeat, catchier than the common cold and packed with more personality than the old X Factor video diaries.
Best line: \'Let me touch you where your heart is.\' *Just* where the heart is, boys? We\'re open to suggestions.
Listen to it when... You\'ve had one too many Sour Skittles and you\'re essentially a human e-number. EXPEL THAT ENERGY. GO BONKERS. DANCE ABOUT.
Contrary to the title, this one isn\'t actually about Niall Horan\'s struggles with an umbrella turing inside out against a strong prevailing wind. Instead, it\'s a super-cute little bop the looks back on the best bits of a relationship. We can imagine our dad being a fan of this one in particular.
Best line: \'Ooh, we had some good times didn\'t we?\' YES WE DID. THE BEST TIMES.
Listen to it when... You\'re literally walking in the wind. C\'mon, it makes sense.
An upbeat toe tapper with a \'Clouds\'-esque sound and a catchy \'ooh-ooh-ooh\' hook, which paired with the funky chorus makes an infectious 1D tune.
Best line: \'I wish it wasn\'t true, but the whole world is trying to get a piece of you.\' Pretty much how we feel about the boys, tbh.
Listen to it when... The human being you happen to quite like doesn\'t really realise you exist. But they will. THEY WILL.
A slow jam that channels a more polished sound than \'You & I,\' it\'s clear why the lyric \'made in the A.M.\' was taken from this particular song to be the album title.
Best line: \'Swimming around in our glasses, and talking out of our arses.\' Harry\'s vocal slaying all over our soul (even when he says \'arses.\')
Listen to it when... You\'re wallowing in self pity over One Direction\'s break-not-break-up and need some soft Hazlan to swoon over.
D\'ya know what? If after five years, One Direction had sort of lost it and started releasing shit songs we\'d probably have said \'fair play.\' But the boys have defied that notion that pop bands have a shelf life. Their first album without Zayn Malik shows absolutely no signs of slacking and, if anything, they\'re somehow getting EVEN BETTER.
Not gonna lie, if you\'re expecting Take Me Home 2.0 you might be disappointed; but Made in the A.M.\'s a mature effort that shows progression without sounding try hard. BASICALLY WE LOVE IT BYE.
PHEW-EE. What d\'ya make of that, then? Are you loving that album or is that just a stupid question? Give us a tweet over @sugarscape or drop a comment in the box below, please and a-thank you.
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