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posted by IsabellaMCullen
I didn't make this, I just found it...


1.Stick your open palm under the stall دیوار and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 سیکنڈ and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10.Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"

11.Say, "Interesting... مزید floaters than sinkers."

12.Using a small squeeze tube, spread مونگفلی, مونگ پھلی مکھن on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall دیوار of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could آپ kick that back over here please?"

13.Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me."

14.Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while آپ squeeze the balloon and splatter cream مکئی all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the restaurant's coffee آپ had for breakfast.

15.Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."

16.Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

17.Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

18.Before آپ unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

19.Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so آپ can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

20.Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall دیوار and sing "Born Free".

21.Come out of the stall with wet hands.

22.Pour water in a constant stream on the floor and say, 'Darn, I almost made it!'

23.Wash آپ hair and dry it in the hand dryer.

24.Wear paper towels wrapped around your head and pretend you're Erykah Badu.

25.Write on the دیوار of a women's bathroom 'Tom was here.' 'In the men's bathroom write 'Michael Jackson was here.'

26.Ask a person in the stall اگلے to آپ for a tampon.

27.Roll a roll of toilet paper all the way down the row of stalls.

28.For a woman, stand in front of the toilet. For men, sit down in the stall and pee.

29.Scream 'Ohh it burns!' as آپ use the bathroom.

30.Lock the door from the inside, sound frustrated that آپ can't get out, then crawl under the door, getting as dirty as possible and complain to the manager that the door is faulty.

31.Introduce yourself to the guy at the اگلے urinal.

32.Turn the light off while stalls are occupied.

33.Stick your head over an occupied stall and ask for the time.

34.Tell people that they're on TV. Point to some random spot on the far دیوار and ask them to "smile for the camera".

35.Lie down across all the sinks and pretend to be passed out.

36.Use a stopwatch to time people going to the bathroom. Cheer them on to encourage good performance.

37.Hold your hand in front of a hand dryer while someone's using it.

38.Pour a bucket of water over an occupied stall.

39.Grab someone's پچھواڑے, گدا really hard while they're using a urinal, and see how far آپ can get before they catch you.

40.Guard the paper towel dispenser in the name of the Earth Liberation Front.

41.Say to the guy at the اگلے urinal: "This is the best part about being gay."

42.Say, "Huh, that's funny. I don't remember eating asparagus."

43.Turn off the faucet while someone's washing their hands. Repeat.

44.Pee on someone's leg and tell them it's raining.

45.Offer to blow-dry other people's hands with your mouth to save energy.

46.Point at someone's crotch while they're using a urinal and yell, "Ha ha, your fly is down!"

47.Put on a hand puppet دکھائیں underneath the stall اگلے to you.

48.Complain about the size of your penis.

49.While inside the bathroom, ask where the nearest bathroom is. After you've received a puzzled look یا response, reply, "I'm not looking for a toilet, آپ moron, I'm looking for a bathroom. Haven't آپ ever taken a bath? Apparently not. No wonder it smells like shit in here."

50.Demand to know where the glory holes are.

51.Walk up behind someone who's using a urinal and لپیٹ, لفاف کریں his head in toilet paper.

52.Ask a friend to help آپ stage a live audio performance of a violent mugging for your unwitting audience inside the stalls. Make sure the final line of dialogue is, "You come out of there and I'll blow your fucking head off."

53.Inside a stall, pretend to be talking to a young child, "That's right Johnny, remember what I told آپ about unzipping your fly? Oh, now look what آپ did!" Then slap your hands twice and make crying noises.

54.Hang a realistic dummy from a noose inside one of the stalls as a wacky surprise for the اگلے visitor.

55.Knock on the stall اگلے to آپ and say, "Do آپ have enough toilet paper in there? I got plenty if آپ need some."

56.Put up a sign above the sink that says "Did آپ remember to wipe?"

57.In a restaurant, put up a sign that says, "This is the legally required 'Employees must wash hands' sign which we disregard on a daily basis."

58.Put up a sign that says "Caution: please do not use toilets."

59.Fill the liquid soap containers with motor oil.

60.Have (mobile) phone sex while standing at a urinal.

61.Flash people standing just outside the bathroom door. Tell them that you've finally "found the loophole".

62.Pump soap for people, give out paper towels, and demand tips.

63.Wear a camera around your neck and offer to take people's تصاویر for money.

64.When the bathroom is empty, get down on your hands and knees and hold your face over one of the urinals. Wait in that position until someone enters the bathroom. Act as if you're embarrassed to be caught.

65.Whisper, "Now spread your legs, honey. Oh yeah, that's it."

66.Drop a small, unclothed, plastic baby doll in a toilet, along with an ample supply of red food coloring.

67.Identify people who have not washed their hands. Follow them out of the bathroom and publicly announce this fact.

68.Congratulate yourself aloud on a job well done.

69.Put Vaseline on the toilet seats

70.Provide 'strenuous' sound-effects.

71.Ask the person in the اگلے stall if there's
anything swimming in THEIR bowl.....

72.Scream " Oh my GOD! What the hell is THAT?"

73.Pretend to fall in, complete with sound effects.

74.Knock on the doors of occupied stalls and ask if there is anyone in there. If so, ask if they are busy....

75.Kick in stall doors, camera in hand.

76.Fake an orgasm.

77.Collect a door charge.

78.Put cling-film (Glad Wrap) over the toilet bowl.

79.Replace rolls of toilet paper with rolls of sand paper.

80.Remove stall doors.

81.Place signs warning of 24 گھنٹہ video surveillance.

82.Make stall doors lockable only from the OUTSIDE.

83.Put itching powder on the toilet seats.

84.Leave a fried egg floating in the bowl.

85.Replace soap in dispenser with custard.

86.Replace condoms in vending machine with tampons (or vice versa).

87.When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with آپ and when someone is اگلے to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall دیوار and say "You got any مزید toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."

88.Roll Easter Eggs under the doors.

89.Start a sing-a-long.

90.Act schizophrenically.

91.Masquerade as a door-to-door salesman.

92.Ask loudly "When does the movie start?"

93.Run around naked yelling "Where's the fish?"

94.Ask whether anyone can see your pet sewer rat/river python

95.Offer refreshments.

96.Run in, yelling "Free Willy!"

97.Bring a bottle of fake blood یا ketchup with you, and while in the stall, in a loud, demonical voice, exclaim "Satan demands a sacrifice... A SACRIFICE!" Start making groaning sounds and let loose a blood curling scream. Then let the blood/ketchup flow on the floor for everyone to see.

98.Look over the edge to the person at the urinal اگلے to you, giggle, and then return to your side, whistling the tune "It's a Small World After All."

99.Have a seizure. Bang against the walls of the stall really hard. Try to knock them down. If anyone later asks if آپ are okay, just say that آپ had some Mexican Jumping Fava Beans and they were reacting negatively with your stomach.

100.Walk in a man. Come out a woman. Complain that there are men in the bathroom.

101.Wet your head, and then sneak into a toilet stall. Flush the bowl and wait a minute. Walk out of the stall lurching, complaining about how dizzy آپ are.
added by r-pattz
Source: oddee.com
added by fatoshleo
added by aitypw
added by zanhar1
added by dxarmy423
added by r-pattz
Source: snorgtees
added by 7things
posted by nmdis
"Naturally"


Did it seem
To disappoint you
Living alone?
سے طرف کی the banks
Of your dilemma
Out of control
No one seems
To give the answers
That آپ wanna hear
What you'd give
To find a welcome here

Miles and miles of lies
Behind you
Those were the days
So many lives
You'd hope would guide you
Help آپ find a way
Now it seems to your surprise
That they left آپ lying here
What you'd give to dry
These کڑوا, تلخ tears

Did it come naturally?
آپ a million miles from home
When آپ tried so carefully
To live a life
That's not your own
Always remember
That it wasn't that long ago
I stilled the oceans
I moved...
continue reading...
1. Dick Trickle

A NASCAR driver that sounds like he has symptoms of prostate problems. Yeah, this one definitely deserves the سب, سب سے اوپر spot on the list.

2. Rusty Kuntz
If he were a girl, it would possibly be number one on the list; nobody would want to mess with her.

3. Grant Balfour
Grant means “to give” and ball four represents a walk in baseball. Not exactly the best name for this Oakland A’s pitcher.

4. Pete LaCock
The capitalization of this name just makes it even worse. He gets the double whammy on the first and last name

5. Guy Whimper
He is a 6’5’’, 300lbs. offensive tackle for the Jacksonville...
continue reading...
Most of these phrases were once funny and not at all annoying. Then newfags just have to come along and start using and abusing them.

And some were already shitty and annoying to begin with.

Once great phrases turned annoying

Cool story bro

کتیا, کتيا please

Y U NO

U mad?

Trolololololo

True story

20% Cooler

Phrases that were already annoying to begin with

YOLO

Pie

X people are Y (youtube)

First

X people missed the like button(youtube again)

le
1.Stand اگلے to a bathroom, stroking a soap bottle while saying: "It's okay my darling, we will get out soon".

2.Sniff every type of cheese in the aisle.

3.When somebody walks سے طرف کی you, stare at them with
BIG eyes.

4.Squirt every type of perfume آپ can find.

5.When in the bathroom,scream as loud as آپ can.

6.Tickle yourself in front of the toilet scrubbers.

7.Hop like a frog around the store.

8.Get a glowing pen and act like آپ are scanning the دودھ and say:"We shall see".

9.Act like a detective, trying to find the missing Whipped Cream Monster.

10.Put on a سکرٹ, گھیرنا and do yoga in the middle of the store....
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posted by lanydoodle
1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as آپ walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2. After everything your teacher says, ask why.

3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG?????” very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at آپ for saying that simply reply “Wow, I can tell you’re a blast at parties”

5. Dress up like L (Death Note) and walk in with no shoes.

6. If your teacher asks “why aren’t...
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posted by Juilet1234
Mittens.
They warm your hands, protect آپ from the cold. They're not a bad thing.
But imagine if for your whole life آپ wore heavy mittens. If آپ dial a phone, try to use a remote control, یا try to play a board game, you're still wearing mittens. Practically everything is much مزید difficult.
Right there.
Practically everything is much مزید difficult.
Remember that.
Now imagine this.
You're in a room with the TV on full volume. The radio is blaring loud, screeching music. The lights are flickering on and off. Everything آپ see is magnified, is a much bigger deal than it normally would...
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posted by xxXsk8trXxx
1. Don't care about her feelings.
2. Don't allow her to go out without your permission.
3. Your friends, the game, and your video games are مزید important than her.
4. She needs to get آپ food while آپ sit and do whatever آپ want.
5. Call her a "whore" and a "bitch".
6. Beat her when she's not obeying you.
7. Never reply to her texts. Remember, you're "busy".
8. ذائقہ, مارنا her پچھواڑے, گدا and grab her boobs.
9. Never tell her that آپ love her.
10. She pays for dinner, not you.
11. Force her to have sex with you.
12. She's pregnant? Break up with her. اقدام somewhere far, far away.
13. Never use a condom, even if...
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posted by Caligirl2011
So open up your iTunes یا موسیقی player and put it on shuffle! Let it play and for everysong.. It makes a life story!!

1. Waking up song..........
2. Going to school song.......
3. Seeing a boy/girl آپ like song......
4. Enemy song.......
5. دن song.........
6. Going to sleep song...
7. Friend song.......
8. Fight song.....
9. Hook up song.......
10. Love song.....
11. Break up song.......
12. Make up song......
13. Wedding song...
14. Honeymoonsong.....
15. Baby song......
16. Family song.....
17. Death song.......
18. Funeral dong
posted by happyfreak
A friend of mine has another friend that is addicted to meth. She found this and gave it to her friend. She then gave me a copy because she کہا it was sad and cared enough to let me know what meth is and does.

This poem was written سے طرف کی a young Indiana girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to Meth. She wrote this while in jail. As آپ will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as she tells in this simple, yet profound poem. She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug owned her. They found her dead not long after, with the needle still in her...
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Ashimoto ni kaze hikari ga matta nichijou ni dake tsumotta bun no kiseki ga
Miagereba kumo tooku e no kiro osanai hi no jibun yori mo hayaku
Yukidoke o matte ita kodomo no آپ ni hashiru
Hikaru shizuku tobihaneteru
Asu no deai sae kizukazu ni iru kisetsu-tachi no naka de kagayaite iru yo

Sekaijuu ni wa donna omoi mo kanau hi ga kuru
Zutto tabi o shite yuku bokura ni chiisana sei-tachi maioriru

Deatta basho mo midori o nashite yuruyaka ni mo nagareru toki ni yudanete
Haruka ni aogu machinami no roji osanai hi no jibun ga mada kakeru
Ano yuuhodou kara kikoete kuru kigi no koe ya hibi no zawameki...
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Here with me, I’ve got 99 facts!

Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.
Guys hate other flirts.
A guy can like آپ for a minute, and then forget آپ afterwards.
When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.
Are آپ doing something?” یا “Have آپ eaten already?” are the first usual سوالات a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
Guys may be flirting around all دن but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
When a guy really likes...
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Some dreams stay with آپ long after you've woken up.
...
Life may be just a dream, but how do we interpret it? What we dream at night can give us clues about what is important to us in waking life. Dreams help us to process our conscious thoughts and can give us new and important insights into the problems and challenges we face in the world. Although we may have strange and unusual dreams, there are a number of common dreams that many of us experience over and over again. Read the interpretations below for an explanation of symbols that seem to appear frequently in dreams.
...
1. Faulty یا lost...
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