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posted by Annacrombie
This is a true story that happened to me moments ago
____________________________________________________

I sat in my room, twenty past 11 trying to find مزید crap on the internet
I herd a loud noise downstairs, then a crash, a slam of door and some slurred words
My parents were outta town and my lil sis was at a sleep over, what the hell was going on?
I put my laptop down and grabbed the nearest item, which was a lamp,
My brother Luca, aged 21, walked into my room, i could smell the acahol in his breath
"Who da sexiest lil sod in the world? آپ are!" He pointed at me before colapsing on the floor, this could be fun
"Your drunk" I said
"Your Sexy" He replied
"Okay who let آپ watch family guy again...oh wait me"
"IM THE BLOODY KING OF ENGLAND AND I CANT DO AS I DAMN WELL PLEASE آپ GIT!"
"Stop pissing me off im hungry"
"NEVEH!" Luca shouted before runnig downstairs and garding the fridge, i followed
"Let me get some pizza" I comanded
"WOOF WOOF WOOF!"
"SINCE WHEN ATE آپ A DOG!"
"WOOF WOOF WOOF!"
I sighed and did the only thing i could think of, i tied some rope around his neck and tied him to the bin, he bit through
"IMMA LAMA NOW!"
"Aw fu-"
"HAVE آپ SEEN THE مفن, چپاتی MAN THE مفن, چپاتی MAN THE مفن, چپاتی MAN"
I went to my last resort i had left, i ran upstair and threw on my police fancy dress, which happened to have a short skirt, my bro would be turned on which was not my plan, i also grabbed a water pistol
"FREEZE!" I shouted, jumping into the kitchen
Luca freezed who was now in his underwear whith two grapes up his nose
"BAM! آپ BAD LITLE SOD!" Luca shouted attacking the toaster, he ignored me
I pointed the gun at him "COME WITH ME یا I'LL SHOOT"
I (eventuly) handcuffed him and led him to the his room
"I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!" Luca shouted repeatedly,
Now 17 mins past midnight I had Luca chained woth fake handcuff's to my bed, he was asleep
Adn that my دوستوں is the reason why we shall not give alcahol (or sugar in my case) to British people
Now if آپ will excuse me Luca is bititng my toe and i wanna sleep
-A.C.
added by OuroborosSnyder
added by angel_cake
added by TwilighterSabby
Source: http://icanhascheezburger.com/page/2/
posted by nmdis
WRECKING BALL
We clawed, we chained, our hearts in vain
We jumped, never asking why
We kissed, I fell under your spell
A love no one could deny

[Pre-Hook]
Don’t آپ ever say I just walked away
I will always want آپ
I can’t live a lie, running for my life
I will always want آپ

[Hook 1]
I came in like a wrecking ball
I never hit so hard in love
All I wanted was to break your walls
All آپ ever did was break me
Yeah, آپ wreck me

[Verse 2]
I put آپ high up in the sky
And now, you’re not coming down
It slowly turned, آپ let me burn
And now, we’re ashes on the ground

[Pre-Hook & Hook...
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Over the years we will run into people that are complete imbecules. Sometimes they say completely stupid things, and act like they're smart. This is the 10 most dumbest things people have ever کہا to me

10. "If آپ keep telling me about your stories I won't read them."

This was گیا کیا پوسٹ on my fanpop دیوار سے طرف کی Pinkmare. She wanted to know about my latest fanfics, and I decided to post on her دیوار letting her know what I was up to. She thought I was rushing her, even though I just told her about the story. I didn't even say "Read this immediately."

9. "Do آپ want some beer?"

I was walking down the...
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posted by purplefreak855
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“This life is what آپ make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is آپ get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your دوستوں - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with آپ through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best دوستوں in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll...
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posted by joe-kerr
ارے everyone.
I'm back with another list. And this time, I do know who to credit. All these quotes are from George W. Bush. For real. I found them online on various media sites. The ranking, however, is my own.

20    "They misunderestimated me."
     —Bentonville, Arkansas; November 6, 2000
    
19    "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter."
     —In parting words to world leaders at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as those present looked on in shock, Rusutsu, Japan,...
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posted by bizeshnakarki
I got it somewhere n thought i should share it.

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with دوستوں in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If آپ have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours سے طرف کی hooking a camcorder کی, camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all...
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posted by mehere
سب, سب سے اوپر 24 eminem song (random order)




who knew

rock bottom

words are weapons

lighters

criminal

kill you

never 2 far

like toy solidiers

white america

cleanin' out my closet

my name is

till i collapse

when im gone

sing for the moment

the real slim shady

just dont give a fuck

lose yourself

the way i am

mockingbird

infinite

stan

not afraid

without me

just lose it

i hope آپ like this one better than the first one please leave a تبصرہ if u like od dont like it i want to hear your thoughts :P
previously on The Evil Teddy Bear: Tina saw a Cute looking Teddy برداشت, ریچھ and picked up from the self but when she put on the counter to buy it the sales man straight away took it off of the counter and کہا it wasnt for sale but then Jenni had an awesome idea and managed to get the Teddy برداشت, ریچھ the sales man gave the girls the Teddy برداشت, ریچھ for free but after they left and while they were walking the Teddy برداشت, ریچھ evil chuckled and its eyes turned red...

Tina unlocked the door to their house (forgot to mention that their also sisters)and they all walked in Peter put the Teddy برداشت, ریچھ ontop of the book case...
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1. People are مزید likely to tilt their heads to the right when kissing instead of the left (65 percent of people go to the right!).

2.The oldest known love song was written 4,000 years پہلے and comes from an area between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers.

3.One in five long-term love relationships began with one یا both partners being involved with others.

4.Falling in love can induce a calming effect on the body and mind and raises levels of nerve growth factor for about a year, which helps to restore the nervous system and improves the lover’s memory.

5.Love can also exert the same stress on...
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 Cheryl Cole and Nicola Roberts.
Cheryl Cole and Nicola Roberts.
Not that anyone's interested, but here are my current سب, سب سے اوپر 11 female 'celebrities'.



1. Cheryl Cole. (yeah, I didn't think you'd be surprised.)
-Words just can't describe how much I love this woman. If I try to then I'll take up this entire article.

2. Amy Lee.
- She has the most stunning voice, and she's absolutely beautiful; Evanescence wouldn't have ever been Evanescence without her. She's amazing.

3. Avril Lavigne.
- I'm a big پرستار of her music. She's cool, she's cute, and with all this, she has amazing hair. :3

4. Hayley Williams.
- She also has amazing hair, like all the people on this فہرست actually....
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posted by lloonny
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a دل attack. His دل isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first آپ don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on آگ کے, آگ with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....
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posted by TruBerries
**Before I begin, I would like to say that I'm writing this out of experience so y'all don't be thinking that I'm guessing, putting other people down who did یا are doing this, یا that I'm being absolutely rude about it, which I'm not.**

In everyone's life, we all want someone that we want to have, hold, and love and never having that feeling of ever being alone for the rest of our lives. We all know that it takes time and patience, but the thing about it is that there's people out there that jump head first into generating a relationship out of thin air with someone he/she has just met online....
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posted by Bella_Dhampir
1. "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."

2. "If Barbie is so popular, why do آپ have to buy her friends?"

3. "People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world," (Calvin - Calvin and Hobbes)

4. "There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his mother's age. " (Benjamin Spock)

5. "Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman." (Kathy Lette)

6. ""Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!" (Homer Simspon)...
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posted by TVD_rocks
10. Sing “Bad Touch” سے طرف کی the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.

9.Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues

8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.

7.End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”

6. Whenever he complains یا argues, reply with “What are آپ gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”

5.Ask him to be a gangsta with آپ for Halloween

4. دکھائیں him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he thinks that he looks like a pedophile یا if it's just you.

3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.

2. Whenever he leaves a room یا says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.

1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” سے طرف کی Madonna.
posted by invadercalliope
Hello i'm InvaderCalliope!
Emo Poems:
Poem number 1:
My tears are a sign of my fears,I've been drowning all these years.
I have to break out from this pain,Have to free me from this chain.
My دل is filling up inside,I cannot run,I cannot hide.
Hate is filling up my mind,Its love i cannot find.
Poem number 2:
My دوستوں call me emo.
My mom makes jokes.
My sisters are worried.
I'm not emo i say.
Stop making jokes.
They're not very funny.
No need to worry.
I promise i'll tell.
The End
There is a topless تصویر of Sel going around, but it’s FAKE!O_O

Sources connected to Gomez told website TMZ that Selena and company ‘are furious that her reputation is being sullied سے طرف کی some perverts with Photoshop.’

"The alleged تصویر of Selena Gomez is absolutely not her. Selena’s family is pursuing all available remedies to deal with the offender.” کہا her reps.

Now they are going to go after the people responsible.

Awful, isn’t it, some of the weird things people do on the Internet!?
UGGHHHH...

source: TMZ

-Well these stuff don't happen only to famous people,But they also happen to normal fellows and This results in big problems which have no limits!
1-TIK TOK-Ke$ha
2-NEED آپ NOW-Lady Antebellum
3-HEY, SOUL SISTER-Train
4-CALIFORNIA GURLS-Katy Perry Featuring Snoop Dogg
5-OMG-Usher Featuring will.i.am
6-AIRPLANES-B.o.B Featuring Hayley Williams
7-LOVE THE WAY آپ LIE-Eminem Featuring Rihanna
8-BAD ROMANCE-Lady Gaga
9-DYNAMITE-Taio Cruz
10-BREAK YOUR HEART-Taio Cruz Featuring Ludacris
11-NOTHIN' ON YOU-B.o.B Featuring Bruno Mars
12-I LIKE IT-Enrique Iglesias Featuring Pitbull
13-BEDROCK-Young Money Featuring Lloyd
14-IN MY HEAD-Jason Derulo
15-RUDE BOY-Rihanna
16-TELEPHONE-Lady Gaga Featuring Beyonce
17-TEENAGE DREAM-Katy Perry
18-JUST THE WAY آپ ARE-Bruno...
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NOTE EVERYONE I DID NOT MAKE THIS!!





* People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?


* People who are willing to get off their arse to تلاش the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.


* When people say "Oh آپ just want to have your cake and eat it too". F*cking right! What good is a cake if آپ can't eat it?


* When people say "it's always the last place آپ look". Of course it is. Why the f*ck would آپ keep...
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