The Big Bang Theory: Mayim Bialik - gasp! -- didn't feel beautiful shooting that wedding scene 

: Mayim Bialik - gasp! -- didn\'t feel beautiful shooting that wedding scene

Look, many women are hard on themselves — even on their wedding day (make-believe or otherwise). And Mayim Bialik is no exception.

, Bialik said she “didn’t feel beautiful” as Amy Fowler, the gal who captured Sheldon’s heart on the CBS comedy.

. You’re a vision in that nutty plantation dress!

But Bialik didn’t feel that way. On her website Grok Nation, Bialik confessed that a recent bout of weight gain made her feel insecure and “ashamed” to shoot the episode.

“I had started losing weight a few months ago. Why? Because I needed to,” she wrote. “I was not comfortable at my weight and I started eating much better and exercising and lo and behold; I lost some weight. I felt so much more comfortable in my own skin. And then I got a series of antibiotic-needing bacterial illnesses and was not allowed to work out for a month. And so, I gained the weight back. I wanted to keep losing. And instead I’m back to not being comfortable. So I felt ashamed. I felt like maybe the wardrobe ladies were looking at me like, ‘Oh, she tried to lose weight and maybe she didn’t have the willpower.’ They probably would never think that; it’s my brain thinking that. But that’s the truth. I didn’t feel my best. And I felt crummy about it. Even though everyone said I looked beautiful, I didn’t feel

Oh Mayim, we bet about 22 or so million fans will think otherwise after tonight’s episode.

finale — including how people are already asking when she and Sheldon (Jim Parsons) will have a baby — check out her website here.