Manly things

Another email.

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the میز, جدول with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the دودھ carton.




WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check یا charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a ویژن ٹیلی set in her purse. "So, do آپ always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured...

More emails...

Men Are Just Happier People

Your last name stays put. The گیراج is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. آپ can be President. آپ can never be pregnant. آپ can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. آپ can wear NO شرٹ, قمیض to a water park. Car mechanics tell آپ the truth.

The world is your urinal. آپ never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. آپ don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, مزید pay. Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress - $5000. Tux rental...

From an میل ای I got.

Rules for Men

1) Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten سے طرف کی his fellow partygoers.

2) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

3) Unless he murdered someone in your family, آپ must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

4) If you've known a guy for مزید than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless آپ actually marry her.

5) Complaining about the brand of free بیئر in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6) When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event,...

More lovely emails!! Guys, pay attention!

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and آپ need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five منٹ is only five منٹ if آپ have just been دیا five مزید منٹ to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and آپ should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This isn’t...

I didn't write this. I got it in an میل ای and it made me smile!!
Sorry guys, I just had to post it! :P


The Why's of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

5. WHY WERE MEN دیا LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

6. WHY DID GOD...