Critical Analysis of Twilight Club
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Source: Pundit باورچی خانے, باورچی خانہ
(I can't think of anything...)
تصویر
twilight
edward cullen
anti edward
die
The following is a letter from Edward to our CAT members who dislike him. یا a joke quickly written سے طرف کی me because it's been ages since I گیا کیا پوسٹ here. Either way, it's not meant to offend pros یا antis.

Dear antis,
So, I hear آپ hate me. Ouch. Being the emo....uh, I mean the sensitive flower...no, wait, the in-touch-with-his-emotions-in-a-not-girly-way, hey-shut-up! guy I am, my initial reaction was to kill myself. That's right, in one of my trademark, straight آگے suicide plans I was going to cover myself in honey, mail a note to the volturi threatening to poke them in the eye if they didn't...
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posted by Mephadowfangirl
Well, I'm a Twilight fan, but I like to be critical of the series anyways. But recently, I discovered that a lot of the Twi-hater fanbase (or hatebase?) has been consisted of mostly people who have only seen the movies, and I instantly saw how there were so many Twi-haters.

Let me just start off سے طرف کی saying that the movie sucks a**, and I'm being NICE! The acting is terrible, they cut out about half the book and completely interpreted the book in all the wrong ways, the script sounded like it had been written سے طرف کی a five سال old, and the actors portrayed the characters so poorly, I almost became...
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If آپ have ever doubted the insanity of the C.A.T. Kittens, this will cease your doubts. I think it got long enough to be put into مضمون فورم thread. This makes absolutely no sense, does have swearwords, includes lots exremely odd things, and is kind of innapropriate. You've been warned.

~~~~

One دن Bella fell over while being chased سے طرف کی Steve the Spider, while Edward and Jacob were kissing. Pausing every once in a while to get a dazzling breath when Alice walked in on them and کہا - "Edward, what are آپ doing? آپ know Bella is over there. Wait...you're GAY?"

"Yes, but don't tell Bella...
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posted by kayleebabee
Is it just me یا is SM into brainwashing? She has systamatically taken over the world with her books. اگلے she will be Americas first ever hem hem SPARKLY PRESIDENT (no offence Barrack آپ rock) and twi hardiness has been taken to a whole knew level people religions such as CULLENISM yes آپ guys heard me cul-llen-ism.
Here is the cullenism 10 'commandments'

1.thou shalt wear سونا contact lenses-even to sleep!
2. thou shalt only drink cherryade یا کرینبیری رس, جوس (bassically its gotta be red)
3. thou shalt not take the lords name in vain (robert pattinson) cept when آپ are screaming it at his...
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I گیا کیا پوسٹ this a couple other spots, but I would really like to know anti-twilight/neutral شائقین opinions. I sort of ranted on the subject, but I think my intent is pretty clear. I'd love to read تبصرے if آپ have any, یا آپ can just skip this مضمون :)

This is sort of an informal rant/observation.

We all know that New Moon is about tragedy and the loss of love and the aftermath. Edward left Bella. But why did he leave her?

Since New Moon is being adapted into a feature length film, I've been seeing alot of سوالات and accusations reguarding Edward's absense.

Examples:
- Jacob's better...
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Hey ya kittens! I was wondering in how many words could I write Twilight giving the same character development as Meyer and saying obviously the main plot so don’t bash…I had a lot of fun doing it XDD It’s not to offend anyone but think about it trees could have been saved if Meyer had stuck with this version.

So on with reading


Hi! My name is Bella Swan, I’m moving to Forks because I want to leave my mom with his new boyfriend live happily ever after although I hate where my father leaves. Forks it’s a rainy state and so I’m in an airplane to go to it.

When I arrive there’s my...
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posted by Dearheart
Hello, kittens and newcomers to the CAT! Don’t worry, none of آپ are in trouble یا anything; I just feel that things have gotten a teensy bit out of hand, so I’m writing this as a reminder to all of آپ before it gets worse.

Newcomers, if آپ haven’t already, link It’s very important that people follow them so that we can keep this spot from turning ugly.

For those of آپ who’ve already read them, let’s review Rule 5:

Make sure the material آپ کرائیں جمع stays true to the spirit of this spot. Whether it’s a soapbox, image, video, etc...please make sure it doesn’t have excessive language,...
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1) Bring a good sense of humor. Don’t ever take things personally, and try not to be too sensitive. Otherwise you’ll be miserable. Just let loose, have fun, and be willing to laugh.

2) If someone offends you, don’t blow up. Respond in a polite, mature way, point out what offended آپ and why آپ find it offensive. If it’s something serious یا happens to be one of the things forbidden in Rule 5, chances are people will back آپ up and the problem will work out. If it isn’t, reread Rule 1.

3) Twi-hards, this isn’t a place to drool over Edward یا gush about how amazing the Twilight...
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posted by renrae
Lauren, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren. She's the blond girl in twilight. The one tricked سے طرف کی a modeling scam, the one that hates Bella. We first meet Lauren in the cafeteria, I believe. Almost all Twilight شائقین do not like her. I mean no disrespect to the ones on this spot یا any others, but I do not think she has a reason to be hated. Reasons people give for hating Lauren are similar to the reasons for hating Jessica. "She's rude", "She's mean to bella and stupid", even "she's blond." That last one made no sense to me. The reason Lauren "hates" Bella is because her crush, Tyler, is infatuated with...
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posted by AliceHaleCullen
I'm so glad to have found a spot that isn't full of people gushing over how hot Robert Pattinson is. Since the movie came out, the original idea of the series has deteriorated.

I used to feel proud to call myself a 'Twilight' fan. I first read it in 2005, and to be quite honest I loved how nobody had read it, it seemed really special. So called 'Fans' who now go around using the word 'Twilighter' just because they have seen the film have ruined it for everyone else.

Fair enough, it's nobodies fault it has been made into an overated hyped movie, but if they really understood what it meant before...
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Despite whatever impressions آپ may have garnered from the عنوان of this article, this is not about glorifying Twilight over His Dark Materials. It's about scolding the movie industry for giving New moon the green light while simultaneously giving The Subtle Knife the red light.

I know that Hollywood is a business, just as book selling is a buisness, above all else. The only time films are made for the sake of making films anymore is if they're independent. I admit that the occasional brilliantly artistic film makes it into the mainstream, and when it does, it's often recognized and lauded....
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I've talked about some of the things that crossed my mind when reading Twilight in the past. Thoughts such as "when is Bella going to freak out about the Edward watching her sleep thing?" "Did that say sparkling? I've re-read that passage like, four times and it still seems to say sparkling" "Does Stephanie Meyer think deer is a vegetable? no, really does she? Does she think آپ can call yourself a vegetarian if آپ don't eat things like people یا those monkeys who know sign language?"
But those are valid thoughts that many people reading the کتابیں also thought (well, maybe not specifically...
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There are 5 things آپ need to know-

This مضمون is basically:
1. My story on how I got sucked into the Twilight Universe.
2. My life story on how Twilight has changed me. A lot.
3. A rant on why I like and hate about the series.
4. A confession on why I can't seem to get over with hating and loving it.
5. An opinion about how my life could have been without Twilight.

WARNING: Overall, this مضمون is about... why I think Twilight isn't that 'bad' after all. It's going to be lengthy. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This had me wondering for a while and to...
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posted by nessienjake
Created:~Alice~


Q: What to Edward and a Christmas درخت have in common?
A: Their balls are for decoration.



Bella: You're pale white and ice cold...I know what آپ are.
Edward: Say it. Say it!
Bella: Vanilla Ice Cream!



Edward: Bella...
Bella: Yes?
Edward: I just want to know how much آپ mean to me.
Bella: Aaw...
Edward: آپ know, what with me being an ancient VIRGIN vampire and everything...
Bella: Yeah?
Edward: Well, people were starting to think I was, y'know-
Bella: Gay?
Edward: ...
Edward: Old fashioned.
Bella: ...
Bella: Oh.



Q: How do آپ kill a brain?
A: Put it in the same room with Ms Meyer and her کتابیں and wait for two minutes.




Q: What did bella say when the shops ran low off the glitter?
A: yeeew!!! Edward آپ suck!!!!
Whether آپ hate Twilight so much it fills آپ with a burning rage so powerful it's full extent can only be expressed through the medium of interpretive dance, یا love it so much آپ plan to sail out to international waters to avoid those pesky laws that prevent آپ from marrying a book, یا perhaps even exist in the non crazy middleground between the two, overexposure can be a pain. Especially when it gets to the level where suddenly everything becomes linked to Twilight. آپ hear the name 'Edward', آپ think 'Cullen', the word 'sparkles' آپ think 'vampire', the words 'howler monkey' آپ think...
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Yes, it's true, everyone! Twilight has changed our world in several ways!!

No longer are streets near movie theaters and bookstores safe! I haven't seen even one free from screaming fangirls (and yes, screaming fanboys) when the new فلمیں come out and even after it's all been done for about a ماہ یا so. Yeah, there are still girls running around in "I <3 guys that sparkle" t-shirts carring on about how great the twilight movie was at the movie theater in my town.

The world now has fewer trees than ever before, just because there where over millions of pieces of paper used for the twilight...
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posted by kayleebabee
this is a study i have conducted to ask what is the big deal weith twilight and edward cullen I asked my littlesister tasha what she thought of the global phenomenon that has all the worlds women gripped in an edward cullen orgasm.

Me: why do آپ think Edward Cullen is *shudders violently* hot?
Tasha: (I have made her جوابات sound like she has n intellectual brain cell through hours of trranslating twilight gibberish) I think it is mostly because he is unnatainable and perfect.
(what she actually کہا was: squeeeeeeee edward cullen i want him but cant have him because that کتیا, کتيا bella is his...
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posted by monLOVEbrucas
Bella Sawn.... Hmmm.


If my bestfreind has loved me, kissed me, tried to ruin my relationship with my boyfriend, i wouldn't be all cool with him loving my child.... including because she's young and his old.
Bella didn't react properly.
I wanted her to get really mad, i wanted Jacob to be banned from seeing Nessie, not have 10 منٹ go by, and his aloud to hold her again.

They say آپ dont choose love, love choose's you.
I believe in that but Reneseme, didn't get a choice? Somehow this imprinting thing assumes the person the wolfs are going to fall inlove with are going to love them back?

In twilight saga this is the thing i do not understand یا get no matter how much i try...
and I just felt the need to let that out LOL even though i have so much مزید i would like to let out.
posted by xxXsk8trXxx
This مضمون may be offencive to a lot of Twihards. Viewer disgrettion is advised




Edward: Bella,I'm dangerous, stay away.
Bella: But Edward, I love you!
Edward: Me too, but I'm dangerous, so آپ have to stay away from me
Bella: But Edward, you're the love of my life! We have to be together!
Edward: Fear me and my sparkiling skin! *takes off shirt*
Bella: Wait a second, آپ sparkle?
Edward: Isn't it frightening?
Bella: No. Sorry to break it to ya Edward, but it's gay
Edward: I kissed Emmet one time...
Bella: How old are you?
Edward: 100
Bella: Eeew! Aren't there laws about 100 سال olds and 17 سال olds...
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Some of these are intended to be jokey, some are intended to be serious, none are intended to offend :)

1. It helps focus 'recreational hate' into one convenient area. What I consider to be recreational hate is hate that has no real purpose, like an annoying unintentional hobby. Like it's useful hate to hate injustice یا animal cruelty, it's recreational hate to hate Paris Hilton یا the fact that Sienna Miller is considered a style شبیہ despite the fact that I've never seen her in an outfit that didn't look like she was talked into wearing it سے طرف کی a stylist who secretly hates her guts. Thing...
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