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posted by Straggy
 Who will come out on top? Well, you'll just have to read it. >:I
Who will come out on top? Well, you'll just have to read it. >:I
Everyone else was doing it, so why not?
Some people even say that they like my تبصرے on things because they find it funny. Meh, whatever, I just say it how it is.
I think I'm going to start in the customary way, سے طرف کی working from the bottom to the top.
Yes, I swear. Because I'm not 5. If آپ have a problem with that, then آپ really need to get off the Internet.




9) Belle
 Her looks have مزید than one parallel.
Her looks have مزید than one parallel.

Yes, Belle. I really hate her, in case آپ didn't get that yet. I hate her voice, I hate her songs, I hate her personality and I hate her clothes. She's plain and boring and I just dislike her greatly. She's like a big filler to the whole film, and her image is pretty much an afterthought. Her only decent dress is that green one she wears in the library, and even that isn't amazing. Her hair is blegh, and she definitely isn't the most beautiful woman in town. Is Gaston blind یا just stupid? I think I'll go with the latter. He has THREE stunning women hanging off his every word, and he pays no attention to them? Yeah, dude, آپ aren't that amazingly hot. Get them while they're still fresh from the oven, یا they'll go stale and will only be good for the birds. Abandoning him and his stupidity for a moment, there is the whole "Belle is a bookworm, so that makes her interesting and smart" thing. No, it doesn't. She's the most irritating bookworm ever, and Twilight wasn't even around then (OH, SUCH HAPPIER TIMES!).

8) Snow White
 WHERE ARE YOUR BOOBS, WOMAN?
WHERE ARE YOUR BOOBS, WOMAN?

"Snow White is always last. Stop putting her last. Why do people keep putting her last?"
Ever thought that maybe people just don't like her? She irritates me greatly (THAT VOICE FOR ONE THING. OMG, BLEGH, STFU WOMAN). She's weird looking in مزید ways than one. First off, she's about 13 and getting serenaded سے طرف کی a guy that's, what, 20? What is this, Romeo and fucking Juliet? No, this is a Disney film. Keep the paedophilia to yourself, Walt. And she's also just about the most under-developed 13 سال old I've ever seen. I certainly had a rack when I was 13, but Snow White is actually boobless. Secretly a guy? Well, that would explain the awful hairdo. She looks like she's wearing a wig. Then there are the other things she wears. Those dresses would look nice on ANYONE but her. Don't give a dress designed to enhance curves to a girl that doesn't have any. Honestly, where the fuck is Gok Wan when آپ need him?

7) Tiana
 YOU'RE AMAZING, WOMAN. You've moved up to 4th place!
YOU'RE AMAZING, WOMAN. You've moved up to 4th place!

"IS IT BECAUSE SHE'S NEW?!"
To be blunt, yes. I'm not seeing PatF until later today, which is when my mum is out at my Grandma's so I can have a relaxing movie دن in front of my computer with some sweets and chocolate and crisps and shit. From what I've seen and heard, she's a pretty hard working and upstanding young woman. But is it me, یا is she just coming across as some sort of serious, stuck-up کتیا, کتيا through the online world? No thank you, I prefer someone fun. My opinion may change when I've actually seen it, but آپ know. I'll leave a cute little تبصرہ if she does move.
She's moved to 4th now, but editing this is too much hard work for me. Let's be honest. I really liked Tiana. OMG, HER VOICE. I've never heard anyone talk like that, it was actual love. And she's beautiful and I love her attitude. And wow, yeah. She's amazing.

6) Aurora
 It's been 18 منٹ already? I must go, Phillip! See آپ at the end!
It's been 18 منٹ already? I must go, Phillip! See آپ at the end!

Now, here is a girl that I neither love nor hate. She can sit here looking pretty for all I care, that's all she ever really does. آپ know, apart from sleeping and dreaming. A bit of an idiotic hypocrite as well, but man does she have some LUNGS! Hot prince, too. Get in there, sunshine. ;)

5) Cinderella
 Oh, Mr Mouse, let us go interrupt the موسیقی lesson, for I am so very witty!
Oh, Mr Mouse, let us go interrupt the موسیقی lesson, for I am so very witty!

Ditto as Aurora. I never really adored her at all. She's just... Cinderella. The one in the dress, with the shoes. I much prefered the other characters in that film. She got a back seat, mainly because she's so WEAK. If you're going to be weak, do it with a little bit of sass, rather than some silly facetious conversation with mice.

4) Ariel
 Srsly, what's so great about living on land?
Srsly, what's so great about living on land?

Very much draws with number 3 here, and for many reasons.
Oh, sweet little Ariel. Not the most beautiful, at least not from where I'm sitting, certainly not the smartest, possibly the worst dressed and easily the best redhead Disney ever produced. No, wait, Hercules is ginger. I take that back. She's a mermaid, which pretty much makes all other reasons for her being awesome void, but once again the other characters just surpass her. As a result, she never really gets the سب, سب سے اوپر spot there and consequently cannot get the سب, سب سے اوپر spot here. Sebastian and Scuttle make آپ look like crud, Ariel. You're funny and childish and cute and everything... But آپ are neither a Jamaican کیکڑے, کیکڑا یا a seagull with mental health issues.

3) Jasmine
 Aladdin: ارے sexy, I'm Prince Ali Something... Wanna come for a ride, hurrhurrhurr? Jasmine: Is this the bit where I go "yeah, fuck that" یا the bit where I go "lolk"?
Aladdin: ارے sexy, I'm Prince Ali Something... Wanna come for a ride, hurrhurrhurr? Jasmine: Is this the bit where I go "yeah, fuck that" یا the bit where I go "lolk"?

Will Aladdin and The Little Mermaid never be free from each other in my countdowns? They always end up squabbling for their spot, and here are the princesses going tooth and nail in... a TLC wrestling match sounds good.
جیسمین, یاسمین beats Ariel. Why? Because of her AMAZING facial expressions. She has the "lolk" face, the "yeah, fuck that" face, the "get your hands off me, آپ have scabies" face, the "oh Jafar, آپ sexy beast" face, the "yeah, I'm totally not jealous" face, the "you know, something isn't quite right here" face, and the all important "THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE, but it's romantic so what the hell" face. And she has nice hair, a good waist and nice fashion sense. A little مزید than a teensy bit too vain however. That girl seriously needs to have her mirror smashed so she'll stop looking at herself in it for just one scene.

2) Pocahontas
 Hold it right there, beautiful... That pout will be all over Vogue.
Hold it right there, beautiful... That pout will be all over Vogue.

Oh, the joys of yesteryear. After I'd passed from "OMG I'M BATMAN" phase, I discovered the beauty that is Pocahontas. Sexy, sassy, the best hips in the Princess lineup (and the best dress) and the hottest guy ever to walk into a film outside of The Hunchback of Notre Dame (or maybe Aladdin... Hmm, is Aladdin hot? I can never make up my mind about these guys. They keep skipping around like crazy fools. Stay in your lane, can آپ not read signposts? Jeez)... Where was I? Oh yeah, John Smith is fucking sexy as. And he has a hot voice. Hmmm, maybe I should اقدام him up a bit higher... CHANGE PLACES!
Yes, anyway, back to Pocahontas. She's smart and all in touch with nature and stuff. Even though she became a fucktard in the sequel and decided to marry the biggest poshest douche she could find instead of THAT AMAZINGLY HOT SEXY GUY THAT آپ RISKED YOUR LIFE FOR WOMAN, ARE آپ BLIND?! Anyway, yes, she's still epic. And nobody poses like Pocahontas. Apparently, this now matters in choosing favourites.

1) Mulan
 Ancestors, hear my plea, help me not to make a fool of me.
Ancestors, hear my plea, help me not to make a fool of me.

آپ can stop cheering, because I love her too. She's AMAZING, goddamnit. Ok, so she almost married a douche in the sequel too, but that's because she cares مزید about the happiness of others than the happiness of herself. She goes out of her way for everyone. She risks her life for her father, devises plans to save the emperor, runs around like a crazy fool, sometimes listens to MUSHU of all people... erm, dragons... erm, lizards. "I AM NOT A LIZARD, I DON'T DO THE TONGUE THING!"
...Yeah, I've seen that film waaaaay too many times. MAYBE BECAUSE MULAN IS SO EPIC. She's naturally beautiful and she has an amazing singing voice and she's so agile and she's a smart and strong woman that stands up to men and she's asian... which, apparently, is worth it's weight in سونا on the internet. I'd like my nuggets now, kthx.





So, that's your lot. I don't really care if آپ disagree with me, because if آپ don't care for my opinion then آپ shouldn't have read my article.

Also, I love how Fanpop is insisting that this uses html code in their formatting tips, when it's pretty obviously BB Code. Hurrhurrhurr. /total nerd
 My سب, سب سے اوپر two... As pes dispensers? Erm, thanks Google.
My top two... As pes dispensers? Erm, thanks Google.
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