Phoebe: [wide eyed] Why are آپ letting him talk to your crotch that way?
Rachel: He's talking to the baby.
Phoebe: Oh, that's good. Because when I heard, "I can't wait to hear your first words" I thought, "Boy that's some trick!"
Carol: Oh, what do آپ know? No-one's going up to آپ and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this
[shouts]
Carol: pot roast through it?"
Ross: I figured after work, I'd pick up a bottle of wine, go over there, and try to... woo her.
Chandler: Hey, آپ know what آپ should do? Take her back to the 1800's when that phrase was last used.
Chandler: I'm thinking of having an affair with your wife! Oh, آپ know what, I just did!
Joey: Really?
Chandler: No, freak show! She's fictional!
Ross: Okay, there آپ go.
Rachel: Sure. Sure, I'll just sit اگلے to the... transsexual from purchasing.
Ross: What are آپ doing tonight?
Chandler: Why, do آپ have a lecture?
Ross: No.
Chandler: Free as a bird, what's up?
Kate Miller: [they are doing a scene] I have a سوال about this scene.
The Director: Yes?
Kate Miller: Well, I don't understand why Adrienne's attracted to Victor.
[Joey plays Victor, she plays Adrienne]
The Director: Peel the onion. First of all, he's good-looking.
Joey: Yeah.
Kate Miller: I think my character's gonna need a little bit مزید of a reason than that.
Joey: Oh, hey, how about this one? It says so in the script! Y'know, I don't know why my character likes آپ either, I mean, it says in the script here that you're a bitch.
Kate Miller: It does not say that in the script.
Joey: It does in mine!
Rachel: Well, oh, Mark, I'm doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know? I'm just doing it to get back at Ross. I'm sorry, it's not very fair to you.
Mark: Ahh! Fair, schmair! Y'know? Look, if آپ want to get back at Ross, I am here for you. Really? No-no, I say-I say, I say we get back at him right on this couch. Right here!
Joey: Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks she's like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread!
Chandler: Ah, Sliced Bread, a wonderful Lady MacBeth.
Joey: God, I just, I hate her! I hate her! With her, "Oh, I'm so talented." and "Oh, I'm so pretty," and "Ooh, I smell so good."
Chandler: I think somebody has a crush on somebody.
Joey: Hey, Chandler, can we please stay focused on my problem here? Y'know?
Chandler: I'm talking about you. آپ big, big freak.
Monica: What آپ guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.
Joey: Yeah, right!... Y'serious?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah!
Rachel: Everything آپ need to know is in that first kiss.
Monica: Absolutely.
Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian آپ have to sit through before گلابی Floyd comes out.
Ross: Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket.
Chandler: The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the دکھائیں was, آپ girls are always looking for the comedian again, y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake.
Rachel: Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise اگلے time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone.
Joey: [pause] ... Are we still talking about sex?
Ross: Wow, آپ guys sure have a lot of کتابیں about being a lesbian.
Susan: Well, آپ know, آپ have to take a course. Otherwise they don't let آپ do it.
Jack Geller: I remember when we first got engaged.
Chandler: Oh, I don't think I ever heard that story.
Monica: Oh dad, really آپ don't need to...
Jack Geller: [ignoring her] Well, I'd gotten Judy pregnant. I still don't know that happened.
Judy Geller: [incredulous] آپ don't know how that happened? Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy.
Joey Tribbiani: [after smelling potpourri] Well, this is like summer in a bowl!
Phoebe: [Monica stares dreamily as Richard leaves the room] Oooh, I think my boyfriend's ever so dreamy. I wonder what our wedding's gonna be like.
[in Barbados, Rachel runs into Monica and Chandler's room in the morning and opens the curtains, it has been raining a lot]
Monica: The sun is out!
Chandler: [squinting in pain] Hey, remember when I had corneas?
Joey Tribbiani: [upon hearing Ross doesn't want to go to the فلمیں with him] Come on, man! Tom Hanks! Meg Ryan! They get mail!
Monica: Rach, it's the Visa card people.
Rachel: Oh, God, ask them what they want.
Monica: [on the phone] Could آپ please tell me what this is in reference to? Yes, hold on.
[to Rachel]
Monica: Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account.
Rachel: But I haven't used my card in weeks.
Monica: That is the unusual activity.
Chandler: I can handle this. "Handle" is my middle name. Actually, "handle" is the middle of my first name.
Reporter: I like that. what's your name?
[pointing tape recorder at Pheobe]
Phoebe: Pheobe. That's, P, as in Phoebe, H, as in heobe, O as in oebe, E, as in ebe, B, as in bebe, and E as in... Ello there mate.
[after observing a short fight between Rachel and Ross]
Phoebe: That's it? "We were on a break." "No we weren't." What happened to آپ two?
[repeated line]
Ross: We were on a break!
Rachel: آپ know, Ben, I was your daddy's girlfriend.
Ben: But you're not anymore. Because آپ were on a break.
Ross: [holding a bottle of champagne] Gunther, six glasses!
Gunther: [hopeful] Six? آپ want me to شامل میں you?
Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five will be fine.
[Gunther walks away disappointed]
Ross: Boy I'm gonna get spit in my coffee, now.
Monica: Chandler, it's okay. آپ don't have to be so macho all the time.
Chandler: I'm not macho.
Monica: You're right. I don't know what I was thinking.
Chandler: The Bings have horrible marriages. They yell. They fight. And they use the pool boy as a pawn in their sexual games.
Ross: Chandler, have آپ ever put on a black کاک, کاکٹیل dress and asked me up to your hotel room?
Chandler: No.
Ross: Then آپ are neither of your parents.
Ross: My dad wanted to know if آپ wanted to play racquetball with us.
Monica: Wow. That's great. Dad must really like you, he doesn't ask just anyone to play.
Ross: Yeah and he didn't really ask for you, he asked for Chancy, I assumed he meant you.
Chandler: Well, did-did آپ correct him?
Ross: No, I-I thought it would be مزید fun this way.
Monica: آپ can't آگ کے, آگ me. I make your decisions and I say, "I'm not fired." Ha.
Monica: My جملہ معیاری is get out before they go down.
Joey: That is so not my motto.
Julie: [Monica has told everyone about Chandler's third nipple] آپ know, Chandler, in some cultures a third nipple is considered a mark of virility. The most desirable women dance naked around آپ so آپ can make your pick.
Chandler: Ah, would any of these cultures be in the tri-state area?
Julie: Sorry.
Joey: [during Ross's speech, Joey laughs every time he hears 'homo erectus'] Ha, Ha, he کہا 'erectus'.
[notices Rachel is also laughing]
Joey: Erectus?
Rachel: [stifling laugh] No, 'homo'.
Mike Hanigan: You're not gonna try and make me شامل میں a cult are you?
Ross: No...
Mike Hanigan: Oh okay. آپ just have that look.
Ross: [to himself] Damn SuperCuts!
[Re: "If آپ had to give up sex یا food, which would آپ pick?"]
Monica: Sex!
Chandler: Seriously. Answer faster.
Monica: I'm sorry, sweetie. When she کہا "sex" I wasn't thinking of sex with you.
Chandler: It's like a big hug.
Phoebe: Ross, how about you? Sex یا food?
Ross: Sex!
Phoebe: What about sex یا dinosaurs?
Ross: My God, it's like Sophie's Choice.
Phoebe: Joey, if آپ had to give up sex یا food, which would آپ pick?
Joey: I don't know it's too hard.
Rachel: Come on, آپ have to answer.
Joey: Okay... sex. No, food. No, uh... I want both! I want girls on bread!
[Mona doesn't know that Rachel is living with Ross]
Mona: Listen, Rachel, I appreciate your situation but this is Valentine's Day. So, if آپ don't mind, would آپ please just go back home?
[Ross enters with his gift for Mona]
Rachel: What are آپ talking about? I live here.
Ross: [nervously gives Mona her present] Happy Valentine's Day.
[Mona stares angrily at Ross]
Ross: Or, something to remember me by...
[Monica knocks]
Chandler: آپ can't come in.
Monica: Why not?
Chandler: Because, uh, Ross is naked.
Ross: What?
Chandler: Well, I couldn't tell her *I* was naked. She's allowed to see me naked.
Ross: Why does *anyone* have to be naked?
[Joey just got ordained via the internet so that he could perform Monica and Chandler's wedding]
Joey: Hey, I started working on what I'm going to say at the ceremony. Wanna hear it?
Monica, Chandler: Yeah.
Joey: We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share.
[Monica and Chandler look impressed]
Joey: It is a love based of giving and receiving as well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving, we too can share and love and have... and receive.
[later]
Joey: Okay, آپ guys, I've got a little مزید written... are آپ ready?
Chandler: Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Joey: When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I cannot help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving... and then I can't think of a good word for right here.
Monica: How bout receiving?
Joey: Yes!
Joey: Anyway, I started working on what I'm gonna say at the ceremony, آپ wanna hear it?
Monica, Chandler: Yeah!
Joey: Now, listen, it's just the first draft so... ”We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share. It is a love based on giving and receiving, as well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving, we too can share and love and have and receive."
Chandler: [to Monica] Shouldn't we call the spitter?
[after catching Ross kissing Chandler's mother in front of the male bathroom]
Joey: I'll just go pee in the street.
Eddie: [Chandler just asked him to اقدام out] This is kinda out of the blue, isn't it?
Chandler: No, no, no. This isn't out of the blue. This is ذائقہ, مارنا dab in the middle of the blue.
Phoebe: No, huh uh, no way, I'm sorry, not gonna happen.
Chandler: Whoa, whoa, prom night flashback.
Joey: And آپ call yourself an accountant?
Chandler: ...No.
[Joey and Chandler apartment has been robbed]
Joey: Aw, man. He took the five of spades.
[looks through deck]
Joey: No, here it is.
Rachel: Hey, آپ guys wanna go see a movie?
Ross: Yeah, sure.
Rachel: How about you, Phoebe?
Phoebe: No, thanks, I've already seen one.
[Chandler's key broke in Monica's door]
Chandler: I love you.
Monica: I love آپ too.
Chandler: Are آپ hugging the door right now?
Monica: Um... no?
Chandler: Uh... yeah, yeah, me neither.
Monica: Oh my god. How cute is the new eye doctor?
Rachel: So cute I'm thinking about jamming this pen in my eye.
[Ross is wearing a white suit]
Monica: I like it even better on آپ than on Colonel Sanders.
Ross: Look, I just came here to tell آپ guys something.
Rachel: Oh. Was it how آپ invented the cotton gin?
Joey: And look. A phone in the bathroom.
Monica: Joey, don't ever call me from that phone.
Joey: Want some jam?
Chandler: No thanks, I just had a jar of mustard.
