Law and Order SVU Club
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posted by livi_wells
One of my favourite things about SVU is the amazing dialogue the charcters have. Here is a selection from season 1.

Narrator: In the criminal justice system sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of a elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories.

(Cragen chews out Olivia for not arresting a woman who then committed suicide.)
Don Cragen: آپ just used your Get Out of Jail Free card, Olivia. There’s only one in the pack.

Olivia Benson: Question. Who'd want to cut your penis off?
Victor Spicer: Take a number

Elliot Stabler: I think sex should be one of the best parts of life, not the worst.

Olivia Benson: Yeah. I'm a regular monk.
Elliot Stabler: Monkette. (staring at her)

Elliot Stabler: Must've been dead a week.
Olivia Benson: Guess he has an alibi.

(Munch has just explained one of conspiracy theories.)
Jeffries: Is there anything آپ just accept?
Munch: Yeah, ... compliments.

Elliot Stabler: If I die, the spot where I go down, آپ better make sure none of this happens to it یا I'm gonna haunt آپ the rest of your days.
Olivia Benson: Noted

Det. Brian Cassidy: So why didn't آپ ever have kids? Didn't want the responsibility?
Det. John Munch: I wouldn't want to give a kid the responsibility of me.

Olivia Benson: I sure's hell wouldn't drive to Queens to save your ass.
Elliot Stabler: Yeah, آپ would

Det. John Munch: I don't just want to rain on your parade I want to burst all your floats.

Elliot Stabler: How long آپ been sleeping with Cassidy?
Olivia Benson: Uh, I'm not.
Elliot Stabler: Your stomach just dropped two floors, Olivia. The unconscious don't lie.
Olivia Benson: I'm not lying ... not much.
Elliot Stabler: Mm-hmm.
Olivia Benson: Is it that obvious?
Elliot Stabler: I'm your partner for better یا worse. Look everybody knows too much about everybody else in this office anyway.
Olivia Benson: I broke a rule, Elliot. A personal one. And now he wants to see me again.
Elliot Stabler: Can آپ blame him?

Olivia Benson: He smells expensive.
Don Cragen: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask آپ to smell the defendant

کرن, رے Gunther: (to Benson) What's wrong? آپ jealous, sweetheart?
Olivia Benson: Easy.
Elliot Stabler: (squeezing the handcuffs tighter) Not sweetheart. That's Detective Benson. All right? I want an apology from you.
Olivia Benson: (helping him back up) I don't need an apology from this slimebag.

John Munch: Hello and welcome to Parole Phone. If you're paying with sex, press 1. If آپ want to make a donation to a phony charity, press 2.

Olivia Benson: I always carry at least a pair of earrings in my purse.
Elliot Stabler: Yeah, like آپ carry a purse.
Olivia Benson: That's 'cause آپ carry it for me

Nick Ganzner: آپ close your eyes ... is that it ... to have sex?
Olivia Benson: I have sex with my eyes wide open

Elizabeth Stabler: Daddy, why does Christmas only come once a year?
Elliot Stabler: Because Santa Claus's credit cards are all maxed out

Audrey Jackson: We still have 45 minutes.
John Munch: I suppose آپ want to hear a detailed account of my sexual history? But how're we gonna kill the remaining 44 minutes?

Dr. Audrey Jackson: Do آپ always deflect personal سوالات with jokes?
Det. John Munch: Do آپ always deflect jokes with personal questions?

Det. John Munch: Now I'm a pain in my own ass.

Det. John Munch: There should be a special level of hell for this pus-sucking gangrenous malignancy of a mental amoeba.
Captain Donald Cragen: Did somebody steal your parking space again?

Detective Stabler: The difference between آپ and all the victims is آپ can walk away.
Detective Olivia Benson: (whispers) No I can't.
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Chapter One

Hour Twenty-Four

Part 1.

Olivia had known something was up. When she entered her apartment, she had that feeling—the one where the creepy-crawlies made every hair stand on end—on her arms, on the back of her neck. Ignoring it would cost her dearly, and she would never forgive herself after this. She knew that, once her own gun was pointing towards her head, and that sick fuck Lewis was at the other end.

Part 2.

Elliot saw the رپورٹ on the news about the rapist set free in Manhattan, and he couldn't help thinking of her. She would be horrified right now—obsessing over the injustice...
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