The Inglourious Hedgehog In Ponyville

Things were not going well for Equestria after the events of the گزشتہ H.I.P story. A week after the war ended somepony assassinated the mayor of Ponyville. Then stallions started being sexist to mares. Even Doughnut Joe wouldn't let mares in his restaurant, but if they were to buy something Joe would just double the price for what they bought.

Two and a half years later things just got worse, a griffon appeared. It was someone named Gilda, and she seemed pissed, "I've had enough of these ponies. It's time to do something about them." Then she flew off. While doing so قوس قزح Dash appeared, "Gilda, what are آپ doing?" Instead of answering Dash's سوال Gilda told her to fuck off, and gave her the bird. Right after that I appeared in my car. I wasn't the only one in Equestria to have a car anymore. Lots of companies started making cars for ponies to drive, some were Chevronet, Coltillac, Lunicorn, Dodge, Alfa Romaneo, Aston Maretin, Foallari, and Fillys. Every سٹریٹ, گلی in Equestria was paved, and full of cars. "Seems like Ponyville has improved." I said. "Yeah," Dash replied, "but what kind of ٹٹو would drive?" I didn't bother asking that question. قوس قزح Dash drove before so she shouldn't be complaining. Pinkie Pie drove my car before, and she liked it. I spent half an گھنٹہ hanging out with قوس قزح Dash. She wanted me to throw her into the sky when we saw flying griffons. They were dropping bombs destroying stuff in sight. A few others came with guns, and started shooting ponies, one even cut off Lyra's horn, making her an earth pony. The first thing me, and قوس قزح Dash did was drive away from the griffons. "Are any of them folllowing us?" I asked nervously. Equestria has gone to war against a few crazy enemies, including Nazis, and Discord, but this was insane. We are talking about a combination of a lion with a bird! So far no one was following us, but then Gilda got on my car. "What the fuck are آپ doing?!" I yelled in frustration. Gilda was scratching up my hood, and trying to shoot قوس قزح Dash. I grabbed Gilda, and threw her far away from us. We were now driving at سب, سب سے اوپر speed, 183 miles an hour. "There is no way she can keep up." I said. "And if she does I can totally take her on!" Dash added. Right, but first we had to find the rest of the mane six, and others. We drove to Canterlot قلعہ where we were told to meet up with Celestia. The front of the قلعہ was gaurded سے طرف کی jeeps with machine guns on them. Soon we went in the castle, and saw Celestia standing with Twilight, and other ponies. "Hi guys." Twilight کہا when she saw us, "Hey." I کہا simoultaneously with قوس قزح Dash. Celestia then begun to speak, "As you're all aware, griffons have bombed Ponyville, and other places in Equestria. We need your help to stop them. I sent my army into Baltimare to defend it from the griffons, and that's where they'll be waiting for you, the inglourious hedgehog." It didn't sound nice, but i really liked the nickname. "Allright." I said. We got a convoy of cars set up after we left Celestia. The convoy started with me, and قوس قزح Dash in my car, Pinkie Pie, and applejack کی, اپپلیجاک in a jeep, Rarity, and Twilight in another jeep, and then a truck driven سے طرف کی Fluttershy. Shredder was sitting اگلے to her, and six soldiers sat in the back. "Everyone ready?" Dash asked. Everyone was set, and Dash ordered us to roll out. After she کہا that Pinkie rolled out of the car she was in. "Why did آپ do that?" applejack کی, اپپلیجاک asked. "Rainbow Dash gave me an order, and I'm not going to disobey her!" Yeah, pure randomness from Pinkie Pie as usual. When she got back in the jeep we continued into Baltimare. Once we arrived we saw three griffons set up a roadblock with two Alfa Romaneo's. "Lets blow them to hell." I said, simply turning on the headlights so I could launch a rocket into the cars infront of me. I wish those cars were something different, because blowing up two cool cars was something I didn't want to do. At least I killed three griffons. سے طرف کی the time we passed the roadblock there were مزید griffons trying to kill us. Twenty five to be exact, but two of them were in the sky with machine guns, and dropping grenades. "Over here!" shouted a soldier. All of us got out of our cars, and ran towards the stallion that called for us. "What is it?" I asked... آپ know what? I don't know why the fuck I'm writing like this! IT'S GODDAMN BORING!! I oughta write like

person 1: hello
person 2: Hi

Expect me to write like that in the rest of my stories.

Previously a fight started in Baltimare involving ponies against griffons.

Griffon bomber: blow up the cars!
other GB: *blows up car*
Sean: Damnit!
Shredder: At least MOST of us have a way to escape.
قوس قزح Dash: Kill the griffons already! *kills griffons*
Pinkie Pie: *shoots grenade held سے طرف کی a GB*
Sean: Good work Pinkie.
Griffon 3416: *attacks قوس قزح Dash, but gets her neck broken*
قوس قزح Dash: That oughta teach آپ not to mess with me!
Canterlot soldier: They're retreating!
Sean: A few of them are heading into that barn.

So the eight ponies, and hedgehog check inside the barn.

Twilight Sparkle: I don't see anything.
Applejack: It all seems clear.
Canterlot soldier: How can آپ know for sure? Did آپ even look?!
Applejack: Yes, and there is no one there
Canterlot Soldier: I think you're lying bitch, *kicks support beam causing the floor to fall*
hiding griffon: Don't kill me!
Pinkie Pie: ارے that's Gustav.
Gustav: Don't kill me! I was here for the whole fight.
Canterlot Soldier: I told آپ there was someone hiding آپ dumb bitch!
Applejack: Will آپ stop calling me a bitch?!
Sean: *steps between the two ponies* allright enough with the sexism. Now Gustav, why were آپ hiding here?
Gustav: I didn't want to fight, but they made me come here. I figured if I stayed here then I wouldn't have to kill anyone.
Pinkie Pie: Gustav is nice even though I thought he ate Mmm.
Rarity: Oh not this again.
Pinkie Pie: Mmm is this cake I was going to enter into a desert competition until these three did it! *points at قوس قزح dash, rarity, and fluttershy.*
قوس قزح Dash: Don't remind us!
Pinkie Pie: Fine! But you'll miss out on the assumptions, and flashbacks!
Twilight Sparkle: We should probably get going.

After the stuff that happened in the بارن, گودام the eight ponies, and hedgehog left with Gustav.

Sean: Alright. Where are the griffons going to attack next?
Gustav: I think they کہا they would take Canterlot, and Manehattan.
قوس قزح Dash: آپ think? If you're lying I'll kill آپ myself!
Twilight Sparkle: No آپ won't.
Pinkie Pie: Gustav is innocent, and wouldn't do anything bad to us.
Canterlot soldier: That's a surprise. You're all mares.
Rarity: What's that supposed to mean?
Sean: I told آپ to stop being sexist.
Canterlot Soldier: Fuck آپ hedgehog!
Sean: *kills soldier* He was getting on my nerves talking to آپ like that.
Applejack: آپ didn't have to kill him though.
قوس قزح Dash: Yeah he did. That was awesome.
Sean: Thanks. We better go to Canterlot.

Eventually we all got to Canterlot and told Princess Celestia about the situation.

Celestia: OK. We'll need some jeeps سے طرف کی the castle. If any griffon appears, they'll get shot down.
Twilight Sparkle: Good plan. آپ may want to watch for some griffons carrying bombs however.
Sean: Yeah they blew up our cars.
Celestia: I have some of my soldiers that will shoot down any griffons carrying a bomb.
Rarity: What about Manehattan?
Celestia: You, Pinkie قوس قزح Dash, and Sean will go to Manehattan. The rest of آپ will stay here with me, and defend Canterlot.
Sean: Sounds good.
Fluttershy: Yeah.

Half an گھنٹہ later my group get into an airplane for Manehattan.

قوس قزح Dash: آپ ever gone skydiving before?
Sean: Don't tell me we have to jump out of the plane.
Pinkie Pie: Why?
Rarity: Are آپ afraid of heights?
Sean: Sort of. I got pushed out of an airplane once, and so did قوس قزح Dash. While I nearly died Dash got killed.
قوس قزح Dash: So that's why آپ don't like sky diving.
Sean: Yeah, because آپ died.
قوس قزح Dash: Shut up *laughs*

Ten منٹ later we fly into Manehattan, but how does the parachuting work?

Sean: *looks out window*
Rarity: We're going to jump soon.
Sean: Why don't آپ three go first?
Rarity: That's nice of you.
Pinkie Pie: Green light go!

Soon the four of us jump out of the plane deploying our parachutes, getting ready to defend Manehattan from the griffons. Back at Canterlot

Twilight: Griffons!
Fluttershy: Oh my *trembling in fear*
Celestia: Theres over a dozen of them! ATTACK!
ponies: *fire guns at griffons*
griffons: *fire back* FOR GILDA!!
soldier: *shoots machine gun*
Two griffons: *fall to death*
Applejack: They got bombs!
Twilight: *disarms bomb*
Griffon 3489: *kills three ponies*
Twilight: We have ponies down. Send an ایمبولینس over!
Luna: Ten 4. The ایمبولینس will be here in approximately 1 and a half minutes.

Sean: No griffons yet.
قوس قزح Dash: I knew Gustav was lying!
Pinkie Pie: Then why are there griffons flying toward us?!
Rarity: Damnit! Gilda is with them
Gilda: Well well, if it isn't my ex best friend, and three مزید lamewads.
Sean: Up yours asshole. *shoots griffons* آپ call that lame?
Gilda: Why didn't آپ shoot me?
قوس قزح Dash: Were asking the questions.
Griffon 3489: Gilda! We are making progress on Canterlot.
Gilda: Copy that we just lost Manehattan. *flies away*
Sean: That was easy.
Pinkie Pie: Back to Canterlot.

The four of us make our way back to Canterlot.

Celestia: We need backup, NOW!
Sean: At your service.
قوس قزح Dash: The griffons didn't get Manehattan.
Celestia: Then who's guarding it?
Wasted pony: Dude. What if we were cartoons drawn سے طرف کی humans?
Drunk pony: I'm not a human! Piss off. *falls on ground*

The fight for Canterlot is getting intense. Griffons are outnumbering us, but we won't go down without a fight.

Sean: applejack کی, اپپلیجاک watch our six. *shoots machine gun at griffons*
Applejack: They're all over the place!
Pinkie Pie: I need مزید ammo!
Sean: Just take my gun I got another one.
griffons: STOP! We have آپ surronded. Ok hedgehog, take us to San Franciscolt.
Sean: And why should I?
griffon: TAKE US TO SAN FRANCISCOLT!
Sean: Chaos Control

Little did the griffons know that we ended up in a different place then they were looking for.

griffon: Cut the unicorns horns.
other griffons: *cut off Twilight, and Rarity's horn as well as Celestia's*
griffon: Now take us to the everfree forest
Sean: Chaos control

Once again I took them to a different place. We ended up in Hawaii, but the griffons didn't know that.

Griffon: Smash that gem
other griffon: *grabs chaos مرکت, ایمرلڈ and smashes it*
Twilight: Now we have no way of getting out of here.
قوس قزح Dash: Yeah, what were آپ thinking?
Sean: Something crazy *grabs and kills griffons*
Rarity: Now what about our horns?
Sean: We take a train from here into California.
قوس قزح Dash: How?
Sean: سے طرف کی the سال 2020 England declared war against Germany for no reason. Then they attacked America. As a result the americans helped Germany defeat England. There reward was a train bridge from Hawaii to San Francisco.
قوس قزح Dash: How far away is the bridge?
Sean: About 5 miles
Rarity: What? I can't walk for five miles! IT'S TOO MUCH!!
Celestia: None of us want to walk for 5 miles either.
Sean: Rarity, I can carry آپ if آپ want.
Rarity: ok.

After a history lesson with a dramatic scene the four of us walk towards the train bridge. سے طرف کی the time we get there we're in for a surprise.

We got to the train, and saw some griffons wiith مزید unicorns.

Vinyl Scratch: Where are آپ taking us?
Griffon 3894: None of your business! Uh Gilda where are we taking them again?
Gilda: Across this bridge into San Francisco. Don't kill all of the ponies we need one unicorn to get back into Equestria.
Griffon 3894: Allright.
Griffon 3987: What about the bomb?
Gilda: Detonate it once آپ get the train across the bridge.
قوس قزح Dash: A bomb?
Sean: This can't be good. We have to prevent that train from crossing the bridge.
Twilight: How?
Sean: سے طرف کی derailing it.
Celestia: But what about our horns?
Sean: Don't worry. We'll stop the train close سے طرف کی San Fran.

Celestia and the rest of my team sneak into the engine. I try to defuse the bomb before it goes off.

Gilda: Hey, I know you.
Sean: آپ do?
Gilda: Yeah your that hedgehog that I saw in Manehattan. I know what you're up to!
Sean: Really?
Gilda: آپ want to help me now!
Sean: Oh yeah i do. What do آپ need my help with?
Gilda: In case the ponies somehow end up in this car, I want آپ to protect this bomb.
Sean: Sure thing.

The train soon leaves Hawaii and gets on the bridge.

Gilda: *walks into prisoner's car*
نیبو, لیموں Heart: Let us out of here!
Gilda: آپ know saying that never works.
نیبو, لیموں Heart: We can find a way out if آپ don't let us leave.
Vinyl Scratch: We're not as "lame" as we look.
Roseluck: We aren't even lame at all.
Gilda: You're multi colored ponies. What isn't lame about you?
griffon 3987: Gilda! We have ponies driving the train!
Gilda: What?! *walks towards Sean* I need آپ to watch the prisoners!
Sean: Sure thi-
Gilda: STOP SAYING THAT!
Sean: *walks into prison car*
Gilda: *flies toward engine with other griffons*
قوس قزح Dash: It's a good thing we have guns. *shoots griffons*
Rarity: How do آپ think Sean is doing?
قوس قزح Dash: Don't worry about him, just shovel مزید coal in the firebox. We have آپ covered!
Rarity: A beautiful ٹٹو like me shouldn't be doing this *shovels coal*
Twilight: Could آپ stop complaining for once?
قوس قزح Dash: *shoots مزید griffons* Just ignore her.
Gilda: آپ idiots keep missing!
Griffon 2398: Oh fuck off! At least we're actually doing something! *shoots Rarity's shovel*
Rarity: Finally I don't have to do anymore laboring.
Twilight: Not really, here is another shovel.
Rarity: NO!!!!!!!
Celestia: آپ have to otherwise we'll slow down.

Meanwhile in the prison car

Roseluck: Sean? What are آپ doing here?
Sean: The griffons think I'm on there side. Time to get آپ out of here.
Vinyl Scratch: Give me your gun
Sean: *hands gun to Vinyl Scratch*
Vinyl Scratch: Ok, time to fight back *makes copies of guns*
نیبو, لیموں Heart: Perfect.
Sean: Allright, Celestia needs your help at the engine. All of the griffons are attacking her, and she needs your help.
Roseluck: Got it. Let's go girls
Vinyl Scratch: What about you?
Sean: I've gotta defuse the bomb.
Vinyl Scratch: There's a bomb?!
Sean: Yeah, that's what the griffons want to use to kill آپ for some reason.
نیبو, لیموں Heart: We have to go.

The prisoned ponies, no longer imprisones set off to help Celestia and the other ponies. How will things go from here?

The train is halfway across the bridge, and Griffons are trying to kill Celestia and other ponies at the engine, but back at Equestria

Luna: Where is my sister?
Pinkie Pie: I don't know! griffons kidnapped her!
Fluttershy: They took other ponies as well.
Luna: Well then lets get them back *turns Pinkie and Fluttershy into Griffons*
Fluttershy: We look exactly like griffons.
Luna: that's the idea.
Pinkie Pie: Now that were a different animal we must speak another language.
Luna: No آپ shouldn't.
Pinkie Pie: *spots Applejack* Ich werde applejack کی, اپپلیجاک tauschen.
Applejack: Griffons!
Pinkie Pie: Hallo, Ich bin Pinkie Pie.
Applejack: Why are آپ speaking german, and how come you're a griffon?
Luna: I cast a spell to turn her into a griffon, and now she thinks she has to speak a different language.
Pinkie Pie: Ja.
Fluttershy: Ok that's enough.
Applejack: Fluttershy آپ two?
Luna: We're wasting time here! *teleports them onto the train*
Roseluck: Luna, what are آپ doing here?
Luna: Saving my sister, but let Pinkie and Fluttershy take care of this.
Pinkie Pie & Fluttershy: *kills griffons*
Gilda: Oh shit! مزید ponies behind us. *kills Vinyl Scratch*
Griffon 4783: I thought that hedgehog was watching them!
Gilda: I thought so to.
Luna: Keep fighting!
Celestia: Luna! Why are آپ here?
Luna: To save آپ sister. We have to get off this train.
Twilight: But our unicorn horns are missing.
Luna: I can restore your horns now lets go! *teleports ponies back to Equestria*

yup they forgot me, this can't be good.

Sean: Almost done defusing it.
Gilda: What happened? Why are آپ trying to defuse the bomb?!
Sean: So the ponies wont die.
Gilda: Well they just left!
Sean: Goddamnit! *kills Gilda*

other griffons: Freeze!
Sean: How about I burn instead? *detonates bomb*

The train has blown into smithereens, with all the griffons inside. I also destroyed the bridge.

Back at Equestria things were back to normal.

Twilight Sparkle: Where did Sean go?
قوس قزح Dash: I'm not sure. He must have gone down without a fight.

The End

Hedgehog In Ponyville One Last Time

I've made several enemies, been in many wars, and countless battles, but this will be intense. It all started on March 13, 2025 when King Sombra was figuring out a way to destroy Equestria. He had something very big planned after losing the crystal empire.

King Sombra: Finally, time to test the time machine. *travels back into time*

November 23, 2012

Nazi Leiutenant: They went into a place called Equestria.
Robotnik: Then lets go!
King Sombra: Wait!
Robotnik: What do آپ want?
King Sombra: I heard you're trying to destroy a hedgehog correct?
Robotnik: Ja, and?
King Sombra: I want to help you. Follow me.
Robotnik: A time machine?
King Sombra: Yes. Now we go آگے for a month.

December 23, 2012

Discord: Robotnik! You're alive!
Robotnik: What?
King Sombra: آپ died from a ٹٹو named Scootaloo after bombing a قلعہ here.
Blaze: It was a filly to.
Nazis: *laugh*
Robotnik: HALT DIE KLAPPE!
Nazis: *stop laughing*
Robotnik: What's next?
Discord: Yeah Sombra, what do آپ have planned?
King Sombra: Only three مزید people to get.

January 5, 2021

Catie: Attention Equestria! آپ are now under Communist power!
King Sombra: You. Over here.
Catie: What the fuck do آپ want?
King Sombra: آپ speak russian right?
Catie: Da, I am russian.
King Sombra: idealʹnyy *perfect*
Catie: Chto vy khotite? *what do آپ want?*
KS: Mne nuzhna vasha pomoshchʹ, chtoby unichtozhitʹ Equestria *I need your help to destroy Equestria*
Catie: A kto ostalʹnyye? *And who are the others*
KS: nemtsy *germans*
Robotnik: What is taking so long?
Catie: YA ne znayu, yesli eto budet rabotatʹ *I don't know if this will work.*
KS: Vy khotite, Shonezha mertv ili net? *You want Sean the hedgehog dead یا not?*
Catie: YA delayu, no *I do, but*
KS: Yesli nemtsy datʹ vam problemy , ya budu zabotitʹsya o nikh sam. *If the germans give آپ problems, I'll take care of them myself*
Catie: Lyubyye drugiye lyudi, kotorykh ya dolzhen znatʹ? *Any other people I should know about?*
KS: My dolzhny grifony, i prezident Hasbro *We'll have griffons, and the president of Hasbro*
Catie: V samom dele? *Really?*
Robotnik: Sombra lets go!
KS: We'll be right there.

June 9, 2023

Gilda: *flying to Canterlot*
KS: ارے آپ
Gilda: Oh god. What?
KS: Are آپ trying to kill a-
Gilda: Pony! I have to go to canterlot, and destroy it ok?
KS: I can help you.
Robotnik: There is a grey hedgehog helping them, and we have to kill him.
Gilda: Is that the hedgehog?
Catie: Yeah I'm the one آپ want to kill!
KS: It's a different hedgehog. He has red white, and blue stripes on his chest.
Gilda: Oh yeah I remember. What do آپ have planned?
KS: We have مزید people to get.
Gilda: Then lets get them.
KS: Ok *activates time machine*

May 20, 2014

Brian Goldner: Lauren. We need to talk.
Lauren Faust: What is it?
Brian Goldner: People are mad that we ended with season 4.
Lauren Faust: Then آپ shouldn't have tried to fuck up my show!
KS: Attention آپ two.
Lauren Faust: King Sombra?
KS: Yes. It's me. I heard you're having problems with ponies
Brian Goldner: Your one.
KS: That doesn't mean I can't help. A hedgehog is helping them, and he has saved them from these guys.
Robotnik: Guten tag
Discord: Sup?
Catie: Hi
Gilda: What he کہا *points at Discord*
KS: Would آپ like to شامل میں us?
Lauren Faust: Why should-
Brian Goldner: We would love to.
Lauren Faust: What?!
Robotnik: She doesn't seem impressed with the idea.
Discord: Well in that case we should kill her.
Brian Goldner: What, no interrogation?
Lauren: I would like that instead of being killed for no reason.
KS: Then we hold her prisoner.
Catie: Where?
Robotnik: I've got to come up with everything. *activates death egg*
Discord: What the friggin fuck is that?
Robotnik: Our flying fortress of death. And luxury.
Catie: I've seen this before. There's a chance it might get destroyed.
Robotnik: It won't, trust me. Plus we can fit our entire army on it.
KS: Sounds good lets go.
Daniel: ارے I've got an idea, what the hell is going on here?
Nazi captain: *kills Daniel Ingram*
Lauren: Why did آپ do that?!
Nazi captain: He intruded on us. Now into the death egg.

Everyone got into the death egg, and King Sombra time traveled once again.

Equestria March 13, 2025

قوس قزح Dash: So tell me how آپ survived that explosion.
Sean: I jumped out of the train, and shot the bomb.
قوس قزح Dash: Awesome :D
Sean: Yeah it was. I had to wait for an گھنٹہ just to have Twilight get me here.
قوس قزح Dash: At least it was worth it.
Sean: Yeah considering that I am now dating the fastest flyer in all of Equestria.
قوس قزح Dash: Now I just have to beat آپ at being the fastest runner.
Sean: Why? آپ can fly much faster then 430 miles an hour.
Snips: Oh look out!
Snails: Discord is back with King Sombra, and griffons, and other people that wanna kill us.
Sean: What's with them?
قوس قزح Dash: They freak out about everything.
Discord: Because it's serious!
Sean: What the hell?! I killed you!
قوس قزح Dash: Let's get out of here!
Communists: *fire at Sean*
Catie: Kill Sean then get قوس قزح Dash!
Robotnik: Kill قوس قزح Dash first! She's faster!
Sean: *flips off Robotnik*
KS: AFTER THEM!!

Me, and قوس قزح Dash avoided King Sombra. Now we just had to make a visit to a friend.

قوس قزح Dash: Where's your car?
Sean: Still being worked on after the explosion. Tails should have another one set up for me. Chaos Control!

Mobius March 13, 2025

Tails: Hi guys
قوس قزح Dash: Hi Tails
Sean: Is my car ready?
Tails: Almost. I have another one set up for آپ though. 2001 Chevrolet Corvette. Has adaptive camoflauge, machine guns, super traction control, and lots of other cool gadgets.
Sean: I'll bet.
قوس قزح Dash: Swag
Tails: Enjoy *walks away*
Sean: This will be good.

Back at Equestria

Robotnik: You're still working on that thing?
Shadow: This Skyline is 23 years old, and needs a lot of maintenance.
Robotnik: Not really. Just install high tech shit, and آپ won't have to worry about it.
Shadow: What's it look like I'm doing asshole?
Blaze: Why a nissan?
Shadow: It's a skyline GTR. Why not?
Robotnik: Captain?
Captain Frites: Ja fuhrer?
Robotnik: I think it's time we get the freeze کرن, رے set up.
Captain Frites: Bejahand *Affirmative*
Blaze: So it's a GTR, why have it?
Robotnik: Why don't آپ go check on our prisoner?
Blaze: Fine
Lauren: Why am I here?
Brian: Because آپ won't شامل میں King Sombra's army.
Blaze: How are آپ enjoying things?
Lauren: They're fine, but Brian keeps pestering me.
Blaze & Brian: Too bad.
Lauren: Brian why would آپ شامل میں these guys?
Brian: I just thought that if we destroyed Equestria, there will be no مزید My Little Pony. We don't have to worry about it anymore!
Blaze: Maybe we should kill her.
Lauren: NO!
Brian: *Kills Lauren Faust*
Colonel Pempkov: What are آپ imbecules doing?
Brian: I killed the prisoner.
Colonel Pempkov: What?
Catie: What did آپ do?
Blaze: It was the right thing to do.

Just then the ice lazer was activated, and froze all of Equestria. Me & قوس قزح Dash are the only ones that can save the day. Can we?

سے طرف کی the time me & قوس قزح Dash got back in Equestria we saw that all of it was frozen.

Sean: Oh jeez.
قوس قزح Dash: How did this happen?
Sean: I'm not sure, but I have a plan. Chaos Control!

Eight hours earlier

King Sombra: I only need a few مزید things to get my time machine working again.
Sean: *pulls out gun*
قوس قزح Dash: He's still working on it.
Sean: He's screwed. *kills King Sombra* Chaos control

Eight hours later

قوس قزح Dash: What?! It's still frozen!
Sean: But how? I killed King Sombra before he could time travel to get all those pricks, and it's still frozen.
Robotnik: That's because آپ don't think!
قوس قزح Dash: drive!
Sean: *drives away*
Shadow: *drives after*
Nazis: We spotted them sir!
KS: Excellent. We kill them, and Equestria is ours.
Robotnik: He tried to kill آپ سے طرف کی time traveling into where آپ were builing your time machine.
KS: And آپ saved me.
Robotnik: Ja.
KS: Nice work doctor.

Back to the car chase

Shadow: *shoots میزائل flipping my car over*
Sean: *opens roof*
Shadow: *shoots another missile*
Sean: *activates ejector seat* Back on my wheels.
قوس قزح Dash: He's passing us
Sean: *shoots Shadow's car*
Shadow: *launches grenades*
Sean: *shoots grenades*
Blaze: Get the death egg down for him.
Shadow: He almost killed me, hurry up!
قوس قزح Dash: *flies out*
Sean: Where the fuck are آپ going?
قوس قزح Dash: *blows Shadow's car up*
Sean: *drives onto death egg*
قوس قزح Dash: Glad آپ made it.
Sean: Same to you. What now?
قوس قزح Dash: We have to kill everyone here, and unfreeze Equestria.
Sean: Sounds good.
Catie: I see آگ کے, آگ over there.
Discord: That looks like Shadow's car
Gilda: They must be on here then. Look everywhere.

This was it. Just me, and قوس قزح Dash against-

1 Discord
1 Robotnik
1 Gilda
1 Catie
1 Brian Goldner
1 Blaze
1 King Sombra
597 Nazis
600 Communists

Total enemies 1,204 Good luck!

As me & قوس قزح Dash got out of the hangar 3 Nazis spotted us.

Nazi 1: Halt!
Sean: *shoots all Nazis*
Communist 234: Where did that come from?
قوس قزح Dash: آپ should've used a silencer.
Sean: The sooner they get toward us, the sooner they die.
Robotnik: Gilda, Blaze get out there!
Gilda: Were on it!
Communist 234: I found them
Sean: *kills communist*
Gilda: Excellent job. آپ only killed four of us. Now it's time آپ both die.
Sean: Blaze is mine.
قوس قزح Dash: I got Gilda.
Blaze: *sets hands on fire* Still working with pussies?
Sean: When did I start working with you?
Gilda: I've been waiting a long time for this.
قوس قزح Dash: Me to *hits Gilda*
Gilda: آپ call that a punch? *hits Dash's eye*
قوس قزح Dash: I'm going easy on you. *kicks Gilda*
Blaze: *throws آگ کے, آگ toward me*
Sean: Your aim sucks!
Blaze: But not my punches *misses*
Sean: I'm over here biyatch!
Blaze: *keeps missing*
Sean: *breaks Blaze's neck*
قوس قزح Dash: Sean I need your help!
Gilda: No آپ don't! *flies away with Dash*

Then 10 Nazis ran toward me. I killed them all, and ran after Gilda.

قوس قزح Dash: *tries to break free from grip*
Gilda: Quit moving bitch.
قوس قزح Dash: *kicks Gilda & lands on floor*
Sean: *shooting at Gilda*
Gilda: آپ have to do better then that if آپ want to kill me!
Sean: Ok *grabs floor*
Brian Goldner: What the damn?!
Sean: *throws floor at Gilda killing her* are آپ ok Dash?
قوس قزح Dash: I think so *falls on floor*
Sean: We gotta find something to fix آپ up.
Brian Goldner: یا آپ can surrender.
Sean: You're all the way down there. آپ can't get us.
Brian Goldner: Maybe not, but I can call for people that can.
Sean: *Kills Brian Goldner*
قوس قزح Dash: Where are we going next?
Sean: We need help. We have to unfreeze Equestria. Maybe there is a way to undo it on the کرن, رے they used.

And so, we went toward the ray. قوس قزح Dash was beat up bad as آپ can see in the picture below, and we needed help.

Kills

Nazis 13
Communists 1
Blaze 1
Gilda 1
Brian Goldner 1

Result: 17 people killed

Enemies left: 1,187

Continuing on, قوس قزح Dash & I got to the ice ray, and unfroze Equestria. We چرا لیا, چوری کی the time machine, and killed 20 communists while escaping the death egg.

Pinkie Pie: Thanks for saving us. It was not fun being frozen.
Sean: I'll bet.
Fluttershy: I hope قوس قزح Dash is ok.
Sean: Twilight's just going to use her magic to heal her, and then we go back to destroying our enemies.
Fluttershy: What are they doing now?

Now they had a huge battletank with several other vehicles. Snips, and Snails were about to attempt an idiotic plan on stealing a truck.

Snips: There's a good one.
Snails: Let's bring it to the hedgehog that's dating قوس قزح Dash.
Snips: Ten 4!
Lt. Schwarzwald: I eto , kak ya vyuchil russkiy yazyk . *And that's how I learned russian*
Cpl. Myass: No, vashenatsistov. *But your a nazi*
Lt. Schwarzwald: Nu i chto? *So* HEY!!
Snips: So long dumby! *drives away*
Cpl. Myass: One of our trucks has been stolen!
Robotnik: Then take it back!
Cpl. Myass: Ok

Snips & Snails drove the truck to Sweet سیب, ایپل Acres where me & the mane 6, along with other ponies were planning our اگلے attack.

Applejack: Enemy truck!
Sean: Wait a minute, it's Snips & Snails!
Twilight: What the fuck?
Snails: Do not panic everyone.
Snips: We چرا لیا, چوری کی an Opel Blitz!
Ponies: What?
Sean: That's the name of the truck they stole.
Snips: Now they have no idea where it is.
KS: There it is!
Robotnik: Kill all those ponies.
Sean: آپ can kill Diamond Tiara, but no one else!
Diamond Tiara: Excuse me?!
Robotnik: *kills Diamond Tiara*
King Sombra: آپ also چرا لیا, چوری کی my time machine!
Sean: If آپ want it back آپ have to kill all of us.
King Sombra: So be it!
Catie: Attack!

Every Nazi & Communist started firing at us. I chased Robotnik while he was driving the tank.

Robotnik: Get the hedgehog!
Sgt. Streuseln: OK *drives toward me*
Cpt. Wolfgang: We got the truck
Sgt. Streuseln: LOOK OUT!!
Cpt. Wolfgang: *drives into tank*
Ponies: *laugh*
Robotnik: Holen Sie sich das Lkw-off unser Tank *Get the truck off our tank*
Sgt. Streuseln: *Shoots truck*
Sean: *climbs onto tank*
Nazi private: He's on the tank!
Sean: *shoots nazi private*
Robotnik: Get off! *hits me*

As I fight Robotnik on the tank Snips & Snails try to steal another truck

Snails: There is another Blitz!
Snips: Lets get it!
Twilight Sparkle: Get back here آپ idiots!
Snips: We were going to steal an enemy truck.
Twilight: آپ could get killed out there.
Snails: Nu uh, we چرا لیا, چوری کی a truck earlier without getting killed.
Pinkie Pie: I'm stealing the truck!
Snips: Oh jeez, mares can't drive a truck!
Pinkie Pie: Watch me *drives truck*

Snips & Snails were surprised, even though they shouldn't be. Pinkie is a great driver. Meanwhile back on the tank

Robotnik: Shoot him!
Nazis: *shoot a lot, but keep missing*
Sean: *fighting Robotnik* Is that all آپ got?!
Robotnik: *holds me from tank*
Sean: This is great *hits rock*
Pinkie Pie: *shoots Sgt. Streuseln*
Sgt. Streuseln: *turns toward cliff then dies*

The tank was heading toward a cliff, but neither me nor Robotnik knew what was happening, for we were too busy fighting.

قوس قزح Dash: Look out!
Sean: I got him *pushes Robotnik into tank*

At that moment, I noticed I was screwed. I jump off the tank, but it was too late. Even for Robotnik.

Pinkie Pie: Oh god!
قوس قزح Dash: Sean?!
Pinkie Pie: SEAN!!

There was no response except for the tank landing on its side.

Applejack: He's gone.
قوس قزح Dash: I can't believe it. We just started dating.
Pinkie Pie: *hugs قوس قزح Dash*
Sean: *climbs up mountain* What did I miss?
Ponies: He's alive! *cheers*
قوس قزح Dash: *kisses me*
Sean: It's going to take مزید then a tank to kill me.
قوس قزح Dash: Well in that case lets get the communists.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah come on.

All the Nazis that didn't die retreated to Ponyville where King Sombra was waiting.

King Sombra: Thats it! We get that time machine یا we're screwed!
Catie: We cannot afford to lose!
Discord: And we wont. I have a plan.

What is Discord's plan? How will it turn out?
To be continued.

Kills

Communists 20
Nazis 2
Robotnik 1

Total 23

Enemies left 1,164

We now had to time travel to when King Sombra was making his time machine, and prevent it from being finished so none of this would happen. Discord's plan however would screw things up for us.

Sean: Are we clear?
Pinkie Pie: All clear!
Discord: *sets up rifle*
KS: Are آپ sure about this?
Discord: I have a رائفل of course I'll kill him, and if I don't we'll send a team out there to kill him, and get the machine.
KS: Ok
Catie: I hope آپ know what you're doing.
Discord: Of course *shoots rifle*
Sean: That nearly hit me!
Pinkie Pie: آپ got a sniper, hurry!
Discord: Go! Kill them!

Communists were sent to kill us, but all they did was kidnap us, and destroy the time machine.

Discord: I told آپ to kill them!
Cpl. Myass: I thought آپ کہا kidnap them.
Catie: آپ should have let me give them the order! They don't care about your lousy english.
Discord: Why are آپ speaking it then?
Sean: Hello? Prisoner here!
KS: He broke out!
Sean: I was never your prisoner to begin with. Cya!
KS: He's probably going to free the others.
Discord: Not if I have something to say about it! *runs off*
Sean: *Frees قوس قزح Dash & Pinkie Pie*
قوس قزح Dash: Thanks. Now lets get outta here.
Sean: Right. We have to kill Discord, Catie, and King Sombra first. Then I can use chaos control to time travel 12 hours ago.
Pinkie Pie: Where did آپ establish that?
Sean: It's before the time machine is created.
Discord: *grabs sword* Hello fuckface!
Sean: Oh great آپ have that. ME TO! * grabs sword*
Pinkie Pie: We need help!
قوس قزح Dash: I wouldn't say that just yet Pinkie Pie.
Sean: *hits Discord's stomach*
Discord: *swings sword like mad*
Sean: blocks attacks*
KS: آگ کے, آگ at him!
Communists: *shoot toward me*
Pinkie Pie: OMC!
Sean: Pinkie! *throws sword*
Pinkie Pie: *catches sword* En Guarde! *Acts random*
Sean: *grabs gun from soldier* Hope آپ don't mind, just borrowing this.
Communist Soldier: Not a problem. Wait, what?!
Sean: *kills soldiers, and King Sombra*
Pinkie Pie: *fighting Discord*
Discord: *throws Pinkie Pie out window*
Catie: What?!
Sean: Stop!
Catie: Chaos Control!
Sean: *grabs Catie*
Catie: *runs toward Sugarcube* Discord, I'm in Ponyville, and need back up!
Discord: Ten 4
Sean: *grabs Catie* Wrong move. I'm going to kill all those soldiers آپ just called for. Your best chance of surviving is if آپ call them off.
Catie: *grabs walkie talkie*
Sean: Call them off. CALL THEM OFF!!
Catie: Discord. *stares at me* آپ wouldn't kill me. You'd miss me.
Discord: Yes?
Catie: Double the-
Sean: *shoots Catie's head* I never miss.

With that out of the way, how about checking on Discord?

Pinkie Pie: Nice try Discord.
Discord: What?!
قوس قزح Dash: No one throws my دوستوں out of a window! *kicks Discord*
Discord: I did not want to have to do this. *tries to discord قوس قزح Dash*
قوس قزح Dash: That's not going to work *kills Discord.* Ok, lets blow this up.
Pinkie Pie: I thought we were time travelling!
قوس قزح Dash: Change of plans. Get out now.
Pinkie Pie: *grabs parachute, and jumps*
قوس قزح Dash: *plants bomb* I'll set it to blow up in 10 سیکنڈ flat.

10 flat سیکنڈ later. The death egg blew up.

Sean: What the hell?
قوس قزح Dash: Oh yeah! That was awesome!
Sean: Yeah, but that car was in there.
قوس قزح Dash: Oh. I forgot.
Sean: Yeah, I did to.
قوس قزح Dash: I'll make it up to you.

Dash made it up to me سے طرف کی making out with me, then we went to a Green گھاس, ہے concert. Shredder just joined as the lead guitarist, and singer.

قوس قزح Dash: This is the best band ever.
Sean: No kidding.
Green Hay: *playing instruments*
Shredder: Shut your mouth 'cause آپ talk too much and I don't give a damn anyway
آپ always seem to be steppin in shit and all آپ do is complain
Hitch a ride tell 'em all آپ like. Small minds tend to think a like
Shut your mouth cause your talking too much and I don't give a fuck anyway
Let yourself go, let yourself go, let yourself go X4
قوس قزح Dash: What'd I say?
Sean: That Green گھاس, ہے is the best band ever!
Shredder: Gotta let it go, gotta let it go X2
crowd: *cheers*
Shredder: Cut the crap 'cause your screaming in my ear, and you're taking up all of the space
You're really testing my patience again, and I'd rather get punched in the face
You're getting on my every last nerve
Everything you've کہا I already heard
Shut your mouth 'cause you're talking too much, and I don't give a fuck anyway
Let yourself go, let yourself go, let yourself go X4
Gotta let it go, gotta let it go X2 *plays solo*
Sean: I gotta admit, he's better then I am at guitar.
قوس قزح Dash: When did آپ play guitar?
Sean: Since I was 12.
Shredder: Always fuck fuckin' with my head now X3
Always fucking with my head and I gotta let it go
Let yourself go, let yourself go
Let yourself go, let yourself go, let yourself goX4
Band: *finishes song*
Crowd: Yeah! *cheers*
Sean: I'll be right back. *leaves*

I decided to go on the stage, and play some guitar, impressing قوس قزح Dash.

Sean: Fillys, and gentlecolts. You're such a wonderful audience. Now I would like to play a song for you.
Crowd: *cheers*
قوس قزح Dash: What?
Sean: This song is one of my personal favorites, called Hound Dog. *Plays guitar*
آپ ain't nothing but a hound dog. Just crying all the time X2
Well آپ ain't never caught a rabbit, and آپ ain't no friend of mine.
Well they کہا آپ was highclass, but that was just a lie X2
Well آپ ain't never caught a rabbit, and آپ ain't no friend of mine.
آپ ain't nothing but a hound dog. Just crying all the time X2
Well آپ ain't never caught a rabbit, and آپ ain't no friend of mine. *plays solo*
Crowd: *cheers*
Shredder: He is good
Sean: Well they کہا آپ was highclass, but that was just a lie X2
Well آپ ain't never caught a rabbit, and آپ ain't no friend of mine. *plays another solo*
Well they کہا آپ was highclass, but that was just a lie X2
Well آپ ain't never caught a rabbit, and آپ ain't no friend of mine.
آپ ain't nothing but a hound dog. Just crying all the time X2
Well آپ ain't never caught a rabbit, and آپ ain't no friend of mine. *ends song*
Crowd: *Cheers*
قوس قزح Dash: That was so awesome!
Sean: Thanks. Now attention everyone. I wanna say it's been great being here. For 12 and a half years آپ ponies have دیا me a lot of formidable things to remember. Although much of it was fighting wars, it was still fun.
Crowd: *cheers*
Sean: But I have some sad news. I can't stay here anymore. People in Mobius need my help. We have made plans to expand on our world, and I have to go help.
قوس قزح Dash: آپ can't leave without a kiss.
Sean: We had sex earlier, but ok *kisses قوس قزح Dash* Now I have to go. Chaos Control!
Shredder: What expansions do آپ think he's working on?
Colin: Maybe land developement?

Everyone couldn't stop thinking about what I was up to back at Mobius. Was it serious? Maybe.

45 منٹ after I left Equestria, they invented the TV, and had lots of them on sale for 3 bits.

News anchor: This is PBS news, I'm Wilson Wilson with breaking news. A giant meteor appears to be heading toward our planet right now.
Fluttershy: Oh my!
Twilight: That looks big.
WW: It appears that a grey hedgehog is slowing down the meteor, which is actually a planet. He's making it arrive on our planet slowly.

Just then the ground shook, as I ran toward قوس قزح Dash.

قوس قزح Dash: Sean? Thank goodness your here. A met-
Sean: Meteor? That happens to be a planet called Mobius.
Fluttershy: What?!
Sean: I didn't wanna be too far away from you, so I brought my planet اگلے to yours.
قوس قزح Dash: Are آپ sure this will work?
Sean: It already is.
WW: Seems like Equestria is now linked to another planet. This is really cool.

Although I never went into Equestria again, I still talked to قوس قزح Dash. Due to her planet being اگلے to mine. How's that for insanity? We've been together for a long time, and nothing bad has happened between us. I think this will go good for a extremely long time.

The End