Naomi & Emily Club
شامل میں
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Nice.

The word rolled around and around inside my brain.

Nice.

That was how Emily had described her boyfriend of eight months.

Nice.

Winning £10 on the lottery is 'nice'. Tropical مچھلی are 'nice'. Grannies are 'nice'. Well not mine, she's a demented bint, but most people's grannies are 'nice'. And Emily's boyfriend is 'nice'. Not just nice, of course. Her actual words were 'really nice'. But no matter how 'really, really nice' he is, it still doesn't suggest firework city whenever she's with him, does it?

Yes, my last visit to the gym had definitely gone better than expected. I had already known, of course that she would be at the pool. Cook had texted me her schedule first thing that morning. So to the pool I had gone, nonchalantly wearing my skimpiest bikini. I have to admit I felt a little self conscious, wearing a bikini to a pool. If you're going for a swim, a one piece is much مزید apt. Bikini's are made for posing around on the beach. But it served it's purpose. I was watching Emily closely, and I noticed the way her eyes moved over my body, lingering on my curves.

Observing people was something I was good at, and Emily had دیا me plenty to watch so far. I didn't miss the fact that she cancelled a phone call from her boyfriend while we were having lunch. I also spotted the faint blush that had crept over her cheeks while she did it. I couldn't help but grin at the sight of it.

I had noticed too the mixture of excitement and even relief in her eyes when I had invited her to lunch in the first place. Emily was bored. I hardly knew her, but I could see that it was screaming out of her every pore. She desperately needed some excitement in her life, and I intended to give her that.


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It was Friday evening, and I was at the gym. I had been there for the last hour, timing my visit to end at the same time that Katie, Emily and Cook finished their shifts. As the four of us trailed out into the car park, Cook wrapped an arm around Katie and Emily's shoulders.

"Right then, babes. How about we all go for a drink." He looked across at me. "You up for it, Blondie?"

"Sounds good." I looked across at the twins to see Katie nodding her agreement. I was disappointed to see Emily shake her head.

"Sorry, I'm meeting Gary tonight." Before I had a chance to attempt talking her into it, Katie chimed in.

"He can meet us at the pub" she said, forcefully. "He's such an old woman, sometimes - always wanting to stay in."

The twins argued on a little further, but it was obvious that Katie was going to get her way. Eventually, Emily agreed to phone Gary from the pub and tell him to شامل میں us. I could have kissed Katie. I smiled to myself at the thought of finally meeting the 'really nice,' paint-splattered emo.

"Right, that's settled then!" Cook punched the air in triumph. "We can go to my Uncle Keith's pub, it's not far from here." He glanced around the car park with a questioning look on his face. "Where's the pussy wagon, Naomikins?"

Katie let out a snort. "Where's the what!"

"The pussy wagon! Naomi's got a sports car, and it's just perfect for pulling pu..."

"Cook!" I quickly intervened. I didn't want them thinking that Cook's pet name for my car was what I called it.

Katie frowned and looked from one to the other between me and Cook. "You two know each other already?" she questioned. Cook and I exchanged a stricken look, then both started talking at once.

"Well, kind of..."

"Didn't we mention..."

"It was a coincidence..."

"We kind of met..."

Our words faded away. I glanced at the twins, who were both looking at us with interest. I cast my mind back to see if I was about to trip over any of our lies. I decided it was probably محفوظ to acknowledge a friendship between us.

"Yeah, I thought I mentioned that" I said, as casually as I could. Fortunately, Emily and Katie just accepted it without question. "Anyway, the 'Pussy Wagon'..." I threw a greasy look in Cook's direction. "..is at ہوم tonight, 'cause I feel like getting hammered!" There were various noises of agreement. As we strolled off in the direction of the Fishponds Tavern, Cook and I exchanged a relieved look, and I made a mental note to keep our future fabrications as simple as possible.


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We were sat in the Fishponds Tavern with a round of drinks in front of us. Katie was looking around her with disgust. Her eyes were narrowed, and the sides of her mouth were curled up in a sneer. I glanced around. I had to admit, the place was a complete shit hole. The peeling, faded پیپر وال must have been there since at least the 70's. The padded seats that were once probably a plush red velvet, were now threadbare and faded pink. Cigarette burns and long-dried-on gum covered every surface. Katie had at first objected to even setting foot inside the place, but Cook had reasoned that the prices were cheap, and it was still a week from payday.

My mind flicked back to the last time Cook and I had been there. It had only been a couple of weeks ago, and I had not long been back from London.

"So babe. How's life treating my favourite muff muncher?"

I downed a couple of shots before answering. Cook had been there all afternoon, and was already pretty wasted. I had some catching up to do.

"Well, my fucking mother is driving me up the دیوار already. And that wanker she's married to is pathetic. The sooner I get out of that place the better." Cook grinned drunkenly at me.

"Sounds like آپ need to have some fun. We should go out tonight, pull as many birds as our tongues can handle!"

"I suppose so. I need something new though, Cook. I'm bored of shagging slag's in club toilets." Cook frowned at me like I had کہا something sacrilegious.

"Nah, babe. A fuck's a fuck. آپ can't ever get bored of that!" I rolled my eyes at him.

"It's too easy though. If آپ get a rejection, there's someone else right around the corner. I fancy a bit of a challenge with someone." I shrugged, not really sure how to explain to Cook what I was feeling. He downed the rest of his pint and shouted over to the bar for مزید drinks. As they arrived, he leaned towards me.

"It's a shame آپ got sacked from 'Fuck's Fitness Centre', then." He tried to sound mysterious, but he was far too drunk to pull it off convincingly. "There's this couple of really fit birds working there now. They're classy, like. Take مزید than a chat up line to get into their knickers."

I laughed, as I wondered what on earth would constitute 'classy' in Cook's world. Probably just the fact that they wore knickers would be enough.

"I'm telling you, Naomi, it won't be long 'til I'm the filling in a twin sandwich!"

"Twins?" The word caught my attention, stirring a memory. "Working at the gym?" Cook nodded. "Didn't Jenna and Rob have twin daughters?"

"Yeah, that's them. They're gorgeous though. Didn't inherit Rob's huge teeth, thankfully." Suddenly, Cook had my attention. I began firing سوالات at him about the twins. After answering a few of them, he narrowed his eyes at me.

"Jenna really fucked آپ off, didn't she? I thought you'd got over that." I laughed at him.

"I haven't spent all سال brooding on it, Cook. I just think the کتیا, کتيا could do with having that smug smile wiped off her face. Sounds like I might have found a way to do it while having some fun!" That was good enough for Cook. He grinned his lopsided smile at me.

"Why don't آپ شامل میں the gym then. They spend most of their time there."

"Slight problem with that - Jenna told me to never darken Fitch Fitness Centre with my presence again!" I scowled as I remembered it.

"She's never there anymore. Neither's Rob. He opened a new gym and they spend most of their time at that one, now. Took most of the staff across with them, as well. I reckon there's hardly anyone there who would remember آپ now." He took a swig of his pint before carrying on. "Rob still comes over every so often to check the paperwork and the membership lists, so آپ better use a fake name." I nodded absently, and wondered if Rob یا Jenna would still recognise me if they saw me now. I was sure a few alterations to my appearance would be easily accomplished. I downed the last of my pint and flashed Cook a huge grin.

"Cookie, I think we might be in for some fun this summer!"


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The door to the pub opened, and Emily walked in. She joined us at the table, taking a نشست اگلے to me.

"Gary's gonna شامل میں us soon" she کہا as she dropped her bag to the floor. She glanced at the میز, جدول and looked in awe at the four pints and eight shots currently sat on it.

"Don't worry, red" کہا Cook, completely misreading the look on her face. "That's just for starters." He grabbed a pint, and downed it in a single gulp, following it with two of the shots. The twins exchanged a glance, before shrugging and picking up a drink. They had silently agreed between them to opt for the 'if آپ can't beat them' way of thinking.

"Your round next, muff muncher!" croaked Cook. I glared daggers at him from across the table. He knew I hadn't wanted to reveal that just yet. He could be such a twat at times. It was Katie who reacted to it first.

"You're gay?" There was a note of disgust in her voice. She also sounded slightly incredulous, like she couldn't understand why anyone would choose to be such a thing as gay. I rolled my eyes, but flashed her a dazzling smile.

"As a window." I was sure she would pull some sort of face, but I wasn't watching. My eyes snapped straight to Emily, to see how she took this news. I couldn't meet her gaze though, as she was looking suddenly very intently at her drink.

"Let's get those drinks, Cook" I snapped. The two of us made our way to the bar. As soon as we were out of earshot, I rounded on him.

"You fucking twat, Cook. I wasn't going to tell them that, yet!" His booming laugh rang out into the room.

"Yeah, I know! But fifty quid is on the line here. I just wanna make sure it comes to the Cookie Monster!"

I glared at him in silence for a moment. So that's how it's going to be, is it? Right. Two can play that game. The gloves are about to come off.

We ordered another round and carried them back to the table. I re-took my نشست اگلے to Emily, and waited until Cook was raising his pint to his mouth.

"So, Cook. Did آپ get rid of that chlamydia?" I watched, as my words had the desired effect. Cook snorted, spilling some of his pint over himself. Emily and Katie giggled. Cook raised his eyes to mine and glowered at me. I grinned back at him, adding a wink for good measure.

"yeah, Blondie I did" he muttered.

"'Cause آپ had quite a bit of trouble with that." I turned to Katie and stage-whispered conspiratorially "He پگھلانا, سودھنا like yoghurt, for months." Katie threw her head back and laughed.

Before Cook could answer, the door to the pub opened and a tall guy with dark brown hair walked in. Emily jumped straight up to greet him. So, this must be Gary. He leaned down to kiss her and I felt a sudden, unexpected surge of jealousy. As they broke apart, Emily took his hand and brought him over. She introduced him to me and Cook. Gary gave us both a friendly smile. I took his appearance in with a searching glance. He wasn't exactly what I had expected. He was actually pretty good looking. He had broad shoulders and a well built frame. He had a pleasant, friendly looking face and short hair. Not a trace of paint in sight.

Cook was on his feet straight away, shaking his hand.

"Good to meet you, Gary lad." He looked down at their joined hands. "Good handshake, that. Very firm." He grinned in my direction and winked. Then he turned to face Gary again. "Bring a chair over - sit yourself down. Naomi, shove over, babe. Let the man sit اگلے to his girlfriend."

Gary did exactly as Cook suggested and positioned his chair between me and Emily, forcing me to اقدام my chair closer to Katie. He then wrapped an arm around Emily's shoulders. I sent a scowl in Cook's direction, but he wasn't looking. He sat back in his chair and looked appraisingly at Emily and Gary.

"You two look good together! Don't آپ think so, Naomi?" He sent another wink my way, before carrying on. "Yes, آپ two make a really cute couple!" He was clearly enjoying this. I had to get back into the game. I turned towards Katie.

"So, Katie, did James here tell آپ about his lovely tattoo?" Katie frowned.

"I've seen the ones on his arms. which one did آپ mean?" I smiled, enjoying the moment. "I'm talking about the one on his cock. He has a huge tattoo of a woman sucking him off. Her hands are tattooed onto his backside, as well. It looks terrible!" I smiled widely, as everyone burst out laughing. Cook just grinned back at me.

"I'll have to take a look at that, sometime" simpered Katie, in a flirty voice. Cook's grin stretched wider.

"Only if you're lucky Katie!" He swung an arm around her shoulders, and she eased herself into his embrace. Shit, that shot back-fired.

"Hey, isn't it your birthday اگلے week?" Emily asked me, abruptly changing the subject. Evidently, all this talk of Cook's cock was of no interest.

Cook slammed the hand that wasn't around Katie down on the table.

"That's right! And it's pay دن اگلے Friday, so we should all go out and get monumentally fucked up!" His eyes shone at the prospect of a proper night out. "What do آپ say, guys?" He looked around at the rest of the group expectantly. I glanced at Katie, and noticed that she didn't look happy at the thought of helping me celebrate my twenty first.

"No, we're already going out, aren't we Em?" She looked pointedly at her sister, trying to get an unspoken message across to her. Emily wasn't taking the bait.

"We can all go out together. Thommo won't mind." She turned towards me and explained that Thommo was a DJ who was going out with her friend Panda.

"He can get us all on the guest فہرست at the club."

"Sounds great" I agreed. Katie continued to be against the plan for a little while. This time however, Emily had the upper hand in the argument. And once Cook joined in trying to persuade her, it was soon all settled. I was beginning to think that Katie was enjoying Cook's attentions.

As the plans for our night out were agreed on, I felt a warmth in the pit of my stomach. The idea of a night out with Emily with plenty of dancing, drink and drugs sounded too good to miss. Plus I had spotted Gary's less than enthusiastic expression. I remembered Katie saying he was like an old woman. Maybe he wouldn't even be joining us. Well, if he was foolish enough to leave his gorgeous girlfriend alone for a night on the town, I could hardly be held responsible for whatever happened, could I?
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