Does any of this sound somewhat familiar?

1 سٹار, ستارہ hangover *

No pain. No real feeling of illness.. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving آپ a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that آپ are able to function relatively well. However, آپ are still parched. آپ can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving a چیزبرگر, چیسیبرگر and a side of fries.



2 سٹار, ستارہ hangover **

Slight headache. Don't feel sick, but something is definitely amiss. آپ may look okay but آپ have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee آپ chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast. Last night has wreaked havoc on your bowels and even though آپ have a nice demeanour about the office, آپ are costing your employer valuable money because all آپ really can handle is aimlessly surfing the net and writing جنک, فضول e-mails.



3 سٹار, ستارہ hangover ***

Definite headache. Stomach feels crappy. آپ are definitely a space cadet and so not productive. Anytime a girl walks سے طرف کی آپ gag because her perfume reminds آپ of the random شراب, ٹھیکی shots آپ did with your alcoholic دوستوں after the bouncer kicked آپ out at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if آپ were in your بستر with a dozen donuts and a litre of coke watching Good Morning with Richard and Judy. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet coke - yet آپ haven't peed once.



4 سٹار, ستارہ hangover ****

Your head is throbbing and آپ can't speak too quickly یا else آپ might honk. آپ have lost the will to live. Your boss has already lambasted آپ for being late and has دیا آپ a lecture for reeking of booze. آپ wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that آپ missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like آپ put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars), your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like one big vein
and your hair style makes آپ look like a reject from the class picture of Moss side secondary school circa 1976. آپ would give a weeks pay for one the following: 1. ہوم time, 2. A duvet and somewhere to be alone, یا 3. A time machine so آپ could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.



5 سٹار, ستارہ hangover (aka Dante's 4th دائرے, حلقہ of Hell) *****

آپ have a سیکنڈ heartbeat in your head which is actually scaring the employee who sits اگلے to you. Death seems pretty good right now. آپ can't focus as your eyes are scrunched up against the overpowering glare from your computer screen Rancid ووڈکا, شراب vapor is seeping out of every pore, staining your شرٹ, قمیض and making آپ dizzy. آپ still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth, at least آپ think it's toothpaste crust. آپ don't give a damn either way. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva and your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Talking is not an option. Your boss doesn't even get mad at آپ and your co-workers think that your dog just died because آپ look so pathetic. آپ should have called in sick because all آپ can manage to do is breathe....very gently