I found this hilarious فہرست on bellaandedward.com. Enjoy :)
Things Bella Would Never Say
1) Edward, drive faster! (Sent in by: Michelle)
2) Edward, I hate آپ and I don't love آپ any more. (Sent in by: McKenna)
3) I hate Edward (Sent in by: Emma)
4) Charlie, could آپ cook dinner? (Sent in by: Jade)
5) Lets go live in Florida! (Sent in by: Brenna)
6) I'm in love with Sam Uley. (Sent in by: Brenna)
7) آپ know what, I think this is only a crush, Edward! (Sent in by: Brooke)
8) Give me a makeover Alice! (Sent in by: Riza)
9) Mike is the hottest guy on earth! (Sent in by: Lilyn)
10) Edward -- I'm sorry,...
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