I remeber when Nigel Bruce and Basil Rathbone turned out for the Hollywood Cricket Club. A really good display it was. That's where I tried my first martini. At the makeshift players' bar they had set up. Who knew I'd own bars in three countries?

I don't know of any Northern Ireland cricketers playing for England. So that would dampen Van's love for the game. Also, he was heavily into his musical career from age 15. No time for the game in whites.

I think Van is a rather coarse working-class git. The game would be too genteel for his sort. He was destined for the shipyards but fame had other ideas. Cleaning windows is where he belongs socially. He is 'new money'.

On "Bright Side of the Road" Van inexplicably calls out "cricket". What does it all mean?

I think Van would be secretly thrilled by England's recent success against Australia in Ashes cricket. That's my opinion.

I think we should all calm down and google "Northern Ireland cricket" and also the ICC sitce. This will answer a lot of questions abbout the international spread of cricket. Google even "Morioka Cricket" and chek out that club in Northern Japan. Cricket on the moon? One day!

The social class labelling is simply awful. So what if money can't buy you "refinement"? We still and crap the same, except for the Chinese. Social networking is a wonder. So is the new 500 ml size of "Glam Noodles". Love them and all the colours.

You talk of sizes and food. What about chaga? What about Dubli? Straight to the door and no torn boxes. That's the Dubli way. No torn boxes. And i'm not kidding when I say No torn Boxes!

This is funny in an obtuse way. i feel free to talk about ennythink.

"Cricket" is musician slang for a harmonica.

Yeah, that's probably right. I couldn't see Van fielding at square leg or midwicket. Long on and long off can be tricky too. what's his reactions like? Could he be suitable for slips, gully or point? What about short leg? Does he do stage diving anymore? He needs to dive left or right at short leg or brace for the well hit sweep shot. Know what I mean?

if 'cricket' is slang for 'harmonica', then what is 'harmonica' slag for? As in "he's an harmonica player"? Sounds terible but I'm not sure what it means.

Cricket can't come to Nebraska. No one will understand such a sport. I see the ball is red. Interesting.