Could آپ read a snip of my story? It is not the first chapter. (He isn't the main character, the girl is.)

Very few people ever came to his book shop. It was rather small, and that was the reason people didn't come very often. At least, this is what he told himself. But deep down, he knew that it wasn't the real reason. He knew the truth, even if he didn't want to admit it to himself. He knew it was because he intimidated people.
Nobody was ever openly nasty to him. No, it was all the little things he noticed. It was the way small children would stare at him, and the way adults barely glanced at him. It was the way people seemed hurried to be over and done with any sort of conversation with him. But this didn't stop him from smiling cheerfully at anyone who entered his shop, and it didn't stop him from giving them a sincere “Good day!” He just couldn't help but notice how people would ignore him, یا smile politely in a way that suggested that they wished he would ignore them.
There was a time when he did not mind so much. That was turns ago, when his wife was still alive. She was one of the few people who could see past his single eye and his missing hand and the scars that marked his lopsided body. He loved her, مزید than anything in the world he loved her. It broke his دل when he heard how she had been killed سے طرف کی the Witch who ran this country. He never quite got over her death. Tears welled in his gray eye as he thought of her, kind, caring, beautiful on the inside and the outside.
Bells sounded, telling him the door had opened and someone was entering his shop. He quickly wiped away his tears and put on a smile to welcome his customer to his دکان and ask them if they needed help finding anything. They rarely کہا yes, even if they did need help, but he would always ask either way.
“Good day, miss!” he greeted kindly. “Would آپ like any help finding anything?”
The girl was young; she looked to be about six turns old. She looked over at him with green, cat-like eyes and smiled.
“No, thank you. But I must say, this is a very pretty store. Funny
*
سے طرف کی the way, six turns = sixteen years
XDRoseLuvsHP posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
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id read it
bookworm12345 posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
 XDRoseLuvsHP posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
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Writing جوابات

jem_ said:
I think it's good. I want to know what happens next. I hope آپ continue it. :)
Have آپ thought about putting your writing up on a writing site like fictionpress.com یا Mibba.com? آپ can create your own account and them put up your writing up and other writers review and give آپ feedback. :)
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
MushimelovisDxH said:
i enjoyed it =^~^= the grammar was good, آپ can feel the emotion in the old man and the imagery was quaint but see-able (if that makes sense to you) it would be nice if there was مزید to read though. آپ know get a better feel of what is going on.
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
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