Random Article: The Shaggy Dogs Theme

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posted by coolkatstar

I found this on the internet :P

part I
Everybody who has a dog calls it "Rover" یا "Boy"; I called mine "Sex". Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the city hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I wanted to have a license for Sex. He کہا "I'd like to have one too." Then I کہا "But this is a dog". He کہا he didn't care want she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He کہا I must have been quite a kid.

Then when I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He کہا every room in the hotel was for sex. I کہا "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at nights." He کہا "Me too."

Part II
One دن I entered Sex in a contest, but before before the competition began the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was hanging around. I told him that I planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold tickets of my own. "But آپ don't understand," I said, "I hope to have sex on TV." He called me a show-off.

When my wife and me separated, we went to court to fight over the custody rights of the dog. I کہا "Your honor, I had Sex before we were married." The judge کہا "me too." Then I told him that after I married Sex left me. The judge کہا "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking for him around town. A cop came over and asked me, "What are آپ doing in this dark alley at 4 in the morning?" I کہا "I'm looking for sex." My case comes up on Friday.

deathding likes this

siory wow that was dirty lol

coolkatstar Hehe

252

100 Reasons why آپ Love her

posted by milorox18

1. I love the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I love the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I love the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I love the way آپ look at me.

5. I love how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I love the way I can’t imagine a دن without آپ in my life.

7. I love the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I love the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I love the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I love how I know you’ll always be there when I need آپ to be.

11....

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20 ways to know if a guy loves آپ ( for girls )

posted by aya3

1- eye contact , if آپ notice him staring a lot at آپ ..like مزید than 5 times in the same دن .(unless آپ got a stain on your shirt)
2- if آپ and him were in the same area , he would be with آپ in every where آپ walk to ( like a party یا a کنسرٹ ..etc)
3- he would sit اگلے to آپ in your class ( unless hes too shy )
4- he would scream یا laugh out loud to get your attention .
5- he would kill to be your lab partner at school .
6 - if he says to آپ hi and hes all too sweaty , make sure hes nervous and that means he likes you.
7-if آپ drop something , he would be the first to get it for...

364

101 Ways to Annoy your Teacher

posted by simpleplan

1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, آپ answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, آپ answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, آپ answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, آپ say “is that so?”
5. If آپ so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher آپ did not turn in your homework because آپ were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper...

20

-39 Pranks on Teachers!-

posted by smileypop9

1.When آپ walk into the room, run up to the teacher and stare her in the eyes. nothing more. just keep a straight face and stare. they get quite scared.

2.Before your science class starts, put a ٹھنڈے, کولر that has "Human Head" written on top, on the front table. On the board write: "Class, we will be disecting a human head tommorrow, the sign up فہرست is on my ڈیسک for the part آپ would like to dissect" Actually put a sign up فہرست on her desk.

3.bring a cactus to school. Raise your hand. When called upon say the cactus has a question. look at the cactus and wait for it to say something. when it...

73

comebacks after someone says you're gay.

posted by Tamar20

1)"Why, do آپ find me irresistible?"

2)"No, I just dress better than you"

3)"You're a double gay. No returnsies!"

4)"I love the سیکنڈ grade insults, *insert name here*. Honestly, isn't it strange how "gay" has come to replace "stupid"? And so what if I was gay? Insulting my sexual orientation is pointless.

NOW...if a girl says you're gay, and آپ actually are, I find the best burn is: "At least I can get a boyfriend."

5)Look them in the face with a deadpan expression. Simply say, "Yes. I'm gay," and walk away. Take their thunder away. It's such a juvenile thing to say in the first place.
Or...

68

The 56 Worst Analogies from High School Papers

posted by moodystuff449

1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a دائرے, حلقہ that had its two sides gently compressed سے طرف کی a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina...

161

50 Things Guys Wish Girls Knew: (Guys perspective)

posted by CullenProperty

1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When آپ sleep over never boss me around in بستر unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If آپ don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” یا “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If آپ want sex, just ask. (In case آپ didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those...

149

61 Things Girls dont know about Guys- this is in a Guys Point of View

posted by milorox18

1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with مزید than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are آپ busy?" یا "Are آپ doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all دن but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...

9

نام کا صارف Ideas (The majority are either dark یا emo)

posted by RaininStarburst

I got bored, so here آپ go.

1. BlueEyedDemon

2. SuicidalSlut

3. MaliciousIntent

4. GloomyTears

5. Blacklight

6. DarkSunshine

7. FallenIsolation

8. DrowningInTears

9. DismalAngel

10. FallenSolitude

11. HopingInSolitude

12. SilentCall

13. CountingOnRain

14. CalledForMishap

15. RuefulDestiny

16. FallenAngel

17. KilledByAnAngel (I know for a fact it's taken on here سے طرف کی my twin sis but I made it up)

18. FlamingCore

19. Darkenin(g)InRegret (The G could be taken off if there is a 15 character like on Fanpop)

20.Itrieditathome

21. RunWithScissors

22. PlaydateWithFire (Over 15 characters but... I like it)

23. RejectedStar...

90

67 cute and funny things... (GIRLS ONLY!!)

posted by Dreamer4eva

1.In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. I'll have twenty.
2.Sometimes آپ make me so mad i wanna throw آپ in the middle of on-going traffic; but then i realize i would probably kill myself trying to save you.
3.im the type of girl who would burst out laughing in the middle of silence because of something that happened... yesterday.
4.so ill walk the plank & jump with a smile if im going down ill do it in style آپ wont hear me surrender.
5.the truth hurts so we lie
6.silence is golden, duct tape is silver
7.i know your probably thinking oh no she didnt but i just so totally...

132

FUNNY INSULTS..must read

posted by iluvsmj

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at آپ trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but آپ my friend!! yes you!! آپ CAN KISS MY ASS*******

If آپ didn't have feet آپ wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do آپ wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for آپ %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I...

428

44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy- Guys point of View

posted by milorox18

44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy

Ladies, this will make آپ tear up :)
 Fellas, read all of it:)

1-Touch her waist. 
2-Talk to her. 
3-Share secrets. 
4-Give her your jacket.
 5-Kiss her slowly.

Are آپ remembering this?

6-Hug her. 
7-Hold her. 
8-Laugh with her. 
9-Invite her somewhere. 
10-Let her be with آپ when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her. 
12-Take pics with her. 
13-Pull her onto your lap. 
14-When she says she loves آپ more, deny it. fight back. 
15-When her دوستوں say i love her مزید than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get...

347

41 ways to annoy your parents

posted by chowjoyi

41 ways to annoy your parents

1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If آپ have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your دوستوں come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary دوستوں that آپ ask their opinion of everything.

7. After آپ have your bath, لپیٹ, لفاف کریں a bath towel around آپ and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask...

7

My سب, سب سے اوپر 100 Most Handsome Men That Ever Lived

posted by KataraLover

I never thought I would be doing a فہرست like this because when I do lists based on looks it's on women. As a straight guy, it's easier for me to rank women than men. However, when I put my mind to something I try my best to come through. I had already done this فہرست with women and I remember being asked if I would ever do it with men, so here it is. Keep in mind this is all just my personal opinion as a straight guy and it wasn't easy to figure out AT ALL! Please تبصرہ but be polite. Also, always تبصرہ because I worked HARD on this and during a time I had just had laser eye surgery and...

9

100 THINGS GOING THROUGH A CRAZY PERSON'S HEAD

posted by PsychadelicSkye

1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers آپ know.
12.Strangers آپ don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to خارج above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill...

52

42 Things that will make your parents go crazy

posted by ilovepenguins

42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary دوستوں that آپ talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...

6

41 Corny پچھواڑے, گدا jokes!!

posted by XxLalasaysxX

Here are my فہرست of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let آپ know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything یا eating anything آپ might spit it یا something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the جھاڑو late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the خلیج, کھاڑی they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorite...

9

My Suicide Note.

posted by CoaxochYJ

My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome دوستوں and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

By the time آپ read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though آپ may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't love you, my love.

I loved آپ with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy....

6

25 Fun things to do in public

posted by Bubblekat

1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar آپ grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something یا someone

3. Go up to a random person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki random noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a فاؤنٹین, چشمہ run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to آپ in public about the...

2

24 ways on how to be a girl pervert

posted by I-Luv-L

I'm a girl pervert!I say guys are crazy cuz they think I touch their butts!I blame it on their hormones even though I touched their butts alot!

1.Be a real pervert

2.You don't have to look like one but just act like one

3.Always when you're walking behind a guy always look at their butt!And say"say veiw" then touch it nice and gently! :)

4.They look back and ask آپ say'what?no way especially not your flat ass!!!!"when they turn around find another butt to look at!

5.Look at their muscles when they're wearing شرٹ, قمیض sleeve shirts and they're doing heavy lifting

6.Take pictures as well

7.Always comment...