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Here are my فہرست of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let آپ know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything یا eating anything آپ might spit it یا something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the جھاڑو late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the خلیج, کھاڑی they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's پسندیدہ vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the مشروم, کھنبی have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do آپ call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do آپ call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do آپ make an octopus giggle ten times?
آپ give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do آپ make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's پسندیدہ composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between آپ and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't آپ hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher کہا it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the ٹماٹر blush?
It saw the ترکاریاں, سلاد dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do آپ know if it's raining cats and dogs?
آپ step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do آپ know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do آپ get pikachu on a bus?
آپ pokémon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't آپ dress with pikachu in the room?
He'll pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do آپ call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
آپ boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton پار, صلیب the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do آپ call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's گلابی and fluffy?
گلابی fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
گلابی fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when آپ drink 7 coca colas?
آپ burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the مچھلی say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't آپ trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope آپ liked them. Make sure آپ check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
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60 Things Guys Should Know About Girls

1) For all we talk about how hot guys are. We mostly care about there personality. Though a hot body is a plus

2) We are just as shy as آپ are about relationships

3) Many of us don't let آپ see us cry, unless we want آپ to comfort us

4) We like dropping small flirts, to see if آپ are interested. But we will later deny it یا make it into a joke

5) Most of us prefer to be call beautiful than hot یا sexy. But not all of us

6) We only wear mini skirts, tank tops and skimpy cloths for آپ (unless it's REALLY REALLY hot outside). So if آپ don't like what we wear...
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Source: Google
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10 Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!


9 The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her پیزا cut into six pieces یا twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"


8 A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did آپ get that?"

The pig replied,

"I won her in a raffle!"


7 A person went into the office باورچی خانے, باورچی خانہ one morning and found a new blonde girl painting...
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Ladies, this will make آپ tear up :)

Fellas, read all of it:)

1-Touch her waist.

2-Talk to her.

3-Share secrets.

4-Give her your jacket.

5-Kiss her slowly.

Are آپ remembering this?

6-Hug her.

7-Hold her.

8-Laugh with her.

9-Invite her somewhere.

10-Let her be with آپ when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her.

12-Take pics with her.

13-Pull her onto your lap.

14-When she says she loves آپ more, deny it. fight back.

15-When her دوستوں say i love her مزید than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get...
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