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Here are my فہرست of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let آپ know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything یا eating anything آپ might spit it یا something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the جھاڑو late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the خلیج, کھاڑی they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's پسندیدہ vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the مشروم, کھنبی have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do آپ call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do آپ call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do آپ make an octopus giggle ten times?
آپ give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do آپ make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's پسندیدہ composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between آپ and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't آپ hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher کہا it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the ٹماٹر blush?
It saw the ترکاریاں, سلاد dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do آپ know if it's raining cats and dogs?
آپ step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do آپ know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do آپ get pikachu on a bus?
آپ pokémon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't آپ dress with pikachu in the room?
He'll pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do آپ call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
آپ boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton پار, صلیب the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do آپ call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's گلابی and fluffy?
گلابی fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
گلابی fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when آپ drink 7 coca colas?
آپ burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the مچھلی say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't آپ trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope آپ liked them. Make sure آپ check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
posted by GDragon612
If آپ have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, آپ have $1.19. آپ also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

President Kennedy was the fastest random speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had.

It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is shake and the 46th word from the last word...
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added by Dreamtime
posted by -SkySplitter-
Dramatic Song: سے طرف کی Toby Turner (A.K.A Tobuscus)

This song sounds dramatic
But I'm bad at writing words
If آپ don't speak English
This probably sounds pretty good.

You'd probably think I'm singing
'Bout some pretty serious stuff
But in reality I'm singing about
The lack of stuff I'm singing 'bout

This part's intense, and emotional!
As long as آپ don't understand it.
Your foreign grandma would love this song
Please send it to her and she'll probably

Tell her foreign دوستوں about the song
Her grandson یا daughter sent her today.
This song might hit the charts in her country
If parts sounded like Cold Play.

If...
continue reading...
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