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Found this on Google. Hope it makes ya laugh.

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.

3. Go to the Service ڈیسک and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid یا a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”

6. Buy a $200 item and pay for it all in pennies. Lose count at least two times.

7. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from ‘Mission Impossible’.

8. اقدام a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

9. Sit down and relax on the patio furniture until they kick آپ out

10. Set up a tent in the camping department

11. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

12. Take pictures of absolutely everything.

13. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask ‘Why can’t آپ people just leave me alone?

14. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say “PICK ME! PICK ME!”

17. See what آپ can “catch” سے طرف کی casting fishing poles into different isles.

18. Play football and see how many people آپ can get to شامل میں in.

19. Play soccer using the whole store as your field

20. Try on bras over your clothes in the middle of the store.

21. Try to get people to race آپ across the store.

22. Sit on the floor and watch T.V. in the electronics department.

23. Pretend to speak a different language and see how many weird looks آپ get

24. Superglue quarters to the floor and count how many people try to pick them up

25. Switch all the radios to strange stations such as polka یا Mexican rap and turn the volume all the way up.

26. Fill up carts and just leave them around the store.

27. When someone is behind آپ in a narrow aisle, walk very slowly, humming to yourself.

28. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and pretend to be superman.

30. Walk up to random strangers and say “I haven’t seen آپ in so long!” etc.

31. Do the same thing, except ask for their autograph.

32. Play Red Rover with other customers. Except don’t tell them that they’re playing.

33. Test brushes and combs

34. Take up an entire toy aisle with a G.I. Joe vs. Rescue Heroes battle of epic proportions.

35. Take bets on the battle.

36. Have sword fights with tubes of wrapping paper.

37. Follow people.

38. Play with the price scanners.

39. Spray air-freshener everywhere.

40. Play with the automatic doors.

41. Make a تکیا fort.

43. Shopping کی ٹوکری, رکن کی نمائندہ races. Enough said.

44. Crawl into gym bags and laundry hampers.

48. “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s

49. “Re-alphabetize” the books.

50. When someone steps away from their کی ٹوکری, رکن کی نمائندہ to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

51. Run around the store screaming walmart sucks, walmart sucks let’s go to target!

52. Buy a candybar. Eat it. Get back in line. Buy another candy bar. Eat it. Get back in line. Repeat until آپ get bored.

53. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines, relax and if the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that آپ don’t get out much, ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

57. Spill clear soap down an aisle.

58. Talk to the lady at the cash register for a whole 20 منٹ about unicorns.

59. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.”NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!!”

60. Pretend to be a monkey and get on all fours screaming “Oo-oo-aaa-aa!” And attack whoever buys bananas.
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Source: My friend
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Source: Hmmm... Um,well EW.com, Everglow, Mugglenet, me!, forgot the last
posted by Bluekait
An expert farmer is outstanding in her field.

An incompetent ship captain grounds the warship he walks on.

Camels live in Camelfornia.

Cannibals like to meat people.

Hands are like bells, especially when they're wrung.

How about the برداشت, ریچھ that was hit سے طرف کی an 18-wheeler and splattered all over the place? They کہا it was a grizzly accident.

How about the man who ran through a screen door? He strained himself.

If life is like a bowl of cherries, what's the کشمش, مویز for living?

In some places fog will never be mist.

Once upon a time, a tribe of cannibals caught a saint sent to them as a missionary...
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posted by nmdis
"Solo"


You speak to me
And in your words I hear a melody
But in the twilight it's so hard to see
What's wrong for me

I can't resist
Until آپ give the truth a little twist
As if you're gonna get away with this
You're not sorry

I can't believe I fell for this

I fell through the hole
Down at the bottom of your soul
Didn't think آپ could go
So low
Look at what you've done
You're losing me
Here's what you've won
Got me planning to go
Solo
Solo

آپ sing to me
Too bad آپ couldn't even stay on key
If your life is such a mystery
Why don't آپ stick to acting?

Here آپ go again...
continue reading...
posted by nmdis
"Piercing"


Living in fear
Is not what آپ had
In mind for me
But holding to you
Is so hard
I cling to what I see

In a world where my emotions
Seem to rule my every move
They will challenge my devotion
To seek and know the truth

You're piercing me
This self will bleed
You're killing all
Of my securities
Lord, help me see the reality
That all I'll ever need is You

Here in this haze a distant light
Seems to draw me near
But in the shadow of my doubt
My faith just disappears

In a world where my emotions
Seem to rule my every move
They will challenge my devotion
To seek and know the truth

You're...
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posted by nmdis
IceCold
She fell in love with a dope boy
Black diamonds on the neck of that dope boy
Big body Benz for that dope boy
Love every tattoo on that dope boy
She sheds tears for that dope boy
Shit, it is what it is for that dope boy
Handle minor biz for that dope boy
But the reward is major, so on and so forth
She can tell آپ سے طرف کی the Greyhound
She can دکھائیں آپ how to stay down
I can tell آپ 'bout to break down
VS1's all in my کتیا, کتيا watch face now
Straight G's for your low esteem
A.P's for the whole team
As I run away from my obituary
Walking in the shit that'll get آپ buried
Miami's mine like I'm Pat Riley
Baselines...
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posted by nmdis
BEAT


It's a big bad world but I ain't ashamed,
I like the lights in my hand
And the beat in my face.
It's a big bad world but I ain't ashamed,
I like the lights in my hand
And the beat in my face.

Be-be-beat in my face, be-be-beat in my face,
The lights in my hand, and the beat in my face

Be-be-beat in my face, be-be-beat in my face,
The lights in my hand, and the beat in my face

I'mma make آپ bend your back
Oh my god, this beat is crack
When I do this, آپ do that

I feel like dancing when I hear that sound,
Just wanna do it, eh, just wanna do it, eh.
I feel like dancing when I hear that sound,
Just wanna...
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Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh

Can آپ feel me
When I think about you?
With every breath I take
Every minute
No matter what I do

My world is an empty place
Like I've been wandering the desert
For a thousand days (oh)
Don't know if it's a mirage
But I always see your face, baby

[Chorus:]
I'm missing آپ so much
Can't help it, I'm in love
A دن without آپ is like a سال without rain
I need آپ سے طرف کی my side
Don't know how I'll survive
A دن without آپ is like a سال without rain (oh, whoa)
Whoa, oh, whoa

The stars are burning
I hear your voice in my mind (voice in my mind)
Can't آپ hear me calling?
My دل is yearning
Like...
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posted by nmdis
Come and Get it
[chorus]
When you're ready come and get it (x2)
Na na na (x3)

When you're re-e-a-dy (x2)

When you're ready come and get it
Na na na (x3)

You ain’t gotta worry it’s an open invitation
I’ll be sittin’ right here real patient
All دن all night I’ll be waitin’ standby
Can’t stop because I love it, hate the way I love you
All دن all night maybe I’m addicted for life, no lie.
I’m not too shy to دکھائیں I love you, I got no regrets.
I love آپ much to, much to hide you, this love ain’t finished yet. This love ain’t finished yet…
So baby whenever you’re ready…

[chorus]
When...
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Chapter One: Salvador

Silver Monroe skipped up the stone steps to Westover High School. Silver could have easily gotten almost any boy she wanted; only she had yet to find the one meant for her. She walked swiftly down the long hallways to her first class; math.

After about ten منٹ the boy sitting behind her raised his hand, asking for water. Silver had been in mostly the same classes as him almost the entire سال and she had never heard him talk before. She had never really even noticed him before. He had long, blonde hair that was almost white and black eyes. The teacher, Mrs. Taylor dismissed...
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June 17th 100,000,000 BC 12 O'clock at night
Four children are born, quadruplets, the youngest born at the strike of midnight. The first child is named Queverial, the سیکنڈ Ceelarion, the third Ierailiasha, and the last one is named Mist. The father decides the last child should have a complex name as the others do but the mother has made up her mind that Mist is the perfect name.
Then she sends them through the mirror of fate to find there destiny and they may never return if they do not find it in time.

January 21st 90,000,000 BC 3:30 P.M.
The children grow up living in the chosen lands...
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Just a few things before the story; one, if there's something آپ don't like about it, please tell me! I want it to be as good as it can be. ^-^ Just please tell me in a respectful way, please. I would appreciate that. Thank you.
Also, this story will be a little (well, مزید than a little) bloody and violent, and there may be some cussing later on. Just a warning.
That being said, I hope آپ like it!
_____________________________________________

Gnarled branches. Green leaves grew from them—green leaves spotted with yellows and reds. They rustled dryly, talking of the upcoming season of autumn....
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(Jade’s POV)

“John…I’m bored” I whined to my friend in the other room. “Well i’m sorry Jade, but i don’t know what do do about that” John کہا walking in with a bowl of پاپ کارن, پوپکارن he popped himself. “What about Rose and Dave?” I asked sneaking some پاپ کارن, پوپکارن away from the bowl. “What about them?” Dave asked sitting the bowl on the coffee میز, جدول in the middle of the room. “Can we invite them over? And can آپ change out of the girl’s uniform?” I asked. He cheeks grew pink, “It’s comfortable.” “Oh John, آپ little boy” I کہا ruffling his hair up. “Fine Jade,...
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