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Found this on Google. Hope it makes ya laugh.

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.

3. Go to the Service ڈیسک and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid یا a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”

6. Buy a $200 item and pay for it all in pennies. Lose count at least two times.

7. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from ‘Mission Impossible’.

8. اقدام a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

9. Sit down and relax on the patio furniture until they kick آپ out

10. Set up a tent in the camping department

11. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

12. Take pictures of absolutely everything.

13. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask ‘Why can’t آپ people just leave me alone?

14. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say “PICK ME! PICK ME!”

17. See what آپ can “catch” سے طرف کی casting fishing poles into different isles.

18. Play football and see how many people آپ can get to شامل میں in.

19. Play soccer using the whole store as your field

20. Try on bras over your clothes in the middle of the store.

21. Try to get people to race آپ across the store.

22. Sit on the floor and watch T.V. in the electronics department.

23. Pretend to speak a different language and see how many weird looks آپ get

24. Superglue quarters to the floor and count how many people try to pick them up

25. Switch all the radios to strange stations such as polka یا Mexican rap and turn the volume all the way up.

26. Fill up carts and just leave them around the store.

27. When someone is behind آپ in a narrow aisle, walk very slowly, humming to yourself.

28. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and pretend to be superman.

30. Walk up to random strangers and say “I haven’t seen آپ in so long!” etc.

31. Do the same thing, except ask for their autograph.

32. Play Red Rover with other customers. Except don’t tell them that they’re playing.

33. Test brushes and combs

34. Take up an entire toy aisle with a G.I. Joe vs. Rescue Heroes battle of epic proportions.

35. Take bets on the battle.

36. Have sword fights with tubes of wrapping paper.

37. Follow people.

38. Play with the price scanners.

39. Spray air-freshener everywhere.

40. Play with the automatic doors.

41. Make a تکیا fort.

43. Shopping کی ٹوکری, رکن کی نمائندہ races. Enough said.

44. Crawl into gym bags and laundry hampers.

48. “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s

49. “Re-alphabetize” the books.

50. When someone steps away from their کی ٹوکری, رکن کی نمائندہ to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

51. Run around the store screaming walmart sucks, walmart sucks let’s go to target!

52. Buy a candybar. Eat it. Get back in line. Buy another candy bar. Eat it. Get back in line. Repeat until آپ get bored.

53. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines, relax and if the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that آپ don’t get out much, ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

57. Spill clear soap down an aisle.

58. Talk to the lady at the cash register for a whole 20 منٹ about unicorns.

59. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.”NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!!”

60. Pretend to be a monkey and get on all fours screaming “Oo-oo-aaa-aa!” And attack whoever buys bananas.
posted by cute20k
1. Your reading my article.
2. You're wondering why you're even reading this.
4. آپ didn't notice that I misspelled you're on #1
5. And you're checking back now
6. Nor did آپ notice I skipped number three.
7. آپ don't even feel like checking back this time. You'll take my word for it..
8. This is so stupid that آپ silently chuckle to yourself.
9. Then آپ realize that six isn't true because that doesn't make sense and that this is a rip off.
10. But آپ remember that a fact is something that can be proven right یا wrong, so technically it was a fact.
11. آپ wish آپ never began to read this stupid stuff now but its still hard to stop.
13. I didn't catch آپ with the missing number this time. یا did I?
14. آپ wonder why I'm being such a smart butt.
15. But then again, my mind reading powers amaze you.
16. آپ totally forgot I was only supposed to tell آپ ten facts.
This is just the back story for my Sonic the Hedgehog پرستار character. Do آپ think it's good?
***

Atsuko Mana Kenyoku was born in Osaka, Japan. Her interests were American superhero comics, old television, technology, and music. She's very quiet, and sometimes even shy. her mom, Izumi Kenyoku, was a junior high school teacher. and Atsuko's dad, Makoto Kenyoku, worked at a record shop. Atsuko had a 17 سال old brother named Masahiko, who was learning ninjitsu at the time, and was also very skilled at it. He liked to tech her What he knew. the Kenyokus weren't rich, but they had a fair amount of...
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Well, this is what happenes when I get bored...I put a message through every language in Babel مچھلی and see what I get...and some of the results are really funny. I tried this one to see just how unreliable Babel مچھلی could be...

Original Message:
I would like to conduct a تلاش as to how accurate this translator is. As instructed, I have used grammatically sound language and correct spelling. I will put this message through every language inside the translator and see how the final message varies from the original one. If the results turn out as expected, some words will be literally “lost...
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I couldn't post this as a سوال since it was too long.

Ayways, yes. She is a Twilight پرستار on the Harry Potter virsus Twilight spot. It's not because she likes Twilight. I get along with many people who happen to be Twilighters. آپ can find her on the Harry Potter vs. Twilight spot. Anyways, she left a تبصرہ to an answer randomly listing names of people she thought were illiterate, when the سوال had nothing to do with that. This was her exact comment:
"Coughcough LeggomyGreggo, Mrs-Grint, haropuff95, jedigal1190, ThatDamnLlama, ABCDFan...I could go on"
I took that as a مککا, عجیب الخلقت in the stomach....
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posted by ilovepenguins
I didn't write this found it on the net

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few منٹ early.

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

3. Complete the exam with everything آپ write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the teacher's left nostril.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read سوالات aloud, debate your جوابات with yourself out loud. If asked to stop,...
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posted by 1-2vampire
Ring a Ring a Rosies,
a pocket full of posies
ATISHOO ATISHOO, we all fall down


Known to be a song about a ring of roses, little children singing in a row, then آپ sneeze and آپ fall down. Did آپ ever play that game as a young child? Hold hands and dance in a circle?

Now for the reality.

This nursery rhyme is about the Black Plague.

Ring a ring a rosies - آپ used to have large pinky red circles on your skin, this is how آپ knew آپ had the plague.

A pocket full of posies - People used to hold posies up to their nose to keep the smell of death away. They also believed that it would keep the plague away. (didn't work)

Atishoo Atishoo we all fall down - آپ know what THAT means? if not that, people would sneeze and cough and you'd know that OHMYGOD WERE DYING! And you'd all fall down (basically, you've popped your clogs)

Some people think it is a very, haunting, creepy song if sung in a certain way other than the cheerful way.

Randomness lol.
posted by cassie-1-2-3
Brain freeze, also referred to an "ice cream headache" (a personal پسندیدہ of mine) یا a مزید scientific term, a "cold-stimulus headache". Before revealing the secrets to living a brain freeze free life, I want to tell آپ a little about what they actually are and what causes them so that maybe آپ can come up with a few of your own ways to avoid the dreaded.

Brain freezes are usually experienced when آپ apply ice cream (or any similar cold food/drink) to the roof of your mouth. There is a cluster of nerves (sphenopalatine nerve) right above the roof of your mouth that act somewhat as a personal,...
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1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
2. Laugh at him.
3. Wake him up سے طرف کی singing ساحل سمندر, بیچ Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.
6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say آپ taught him everything he knows.
7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10....
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Tell me if u think this is funny یا not i just want to know. I got bored so i wrote this:

RANDOM GUY AND FORTUNE COOKIE!!!!


Cookie:Would آپ like to hear your fortune?


Random guy: Uhh sure I guess?


Cookie: Good *cookie stays silent*


Random guy: Uh آپ gonna tell me my fortune?


Cookie:*comes back down to earth* What?


Random guy: آپ gonna tell me my fortune یا what?!?!?


Cookie:Why the hell would I tell آپ your fortune?


Random guy: آپ کہا آپ WOULD!!!!


Cookie:Well have آپ been smoking anything lately, cause clearly I am a cookie and کوکیز don't talk nor tell people fortunes.


Random guy:0.o But you...
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 ajl's user شبیہ
ajl's user icon
Hello fellow random fanpopers,
i am writting this to inform آپ that a certain new fanpoper with the نام کا صارف of ajl has recently claimed she created this spot. She created a سوال saying that she was the creator of the spot and she created a فورم saying that she was the creator and we should respect her wishes and not post twilight stuff. Now آپ will not be able to find these two contributions why آپ ask well because when me and BellaCullen96 questioned her about being the spot creator she deleted both. but if آپ want proof that she کہا this check out this forum
link
Now آپ may ask...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere ?
‘Hold my purse.’

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

If God wanted us to fly, He would have دیا us tickets.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if آپ press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!

I’m very brave generally, he went on in a low voice: “Only today I happen...
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posted by Lola90210
GOD HATES ME

Chapter 1

        God Hates Me.
-ate some fries.
-Went to bed.

Chapter 2

        I am in a better mood today because I did my prayers and God spoke to me and he promised to put me in a group with my friends.
God Loves Me.

Chapter 3

        God must die! He is being so unreasonable!!! I asked him to put me in a group with my دوستوں but does he listen??! No! God is a bitch!
-I'm an emo from now on
-Went to bed

Chapter 4

        God...
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posted by prettystar
Hi Mommy!
I am only 3/4 of an inch long,
But I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it,
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your دل beat
Is my پسندیدہ lullaby.

Month Two.

Mommy,
Today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If آپ could see me
You could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my ہوم though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three.

You know what Mommy,
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes آپ happy.
I always want آپ to be happy.
I don't like it when آپ cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too,
And I cry with آپ even though
You can't hear...
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Supports your body’s antioxidant and nutritional needs.





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The Premier Açai Blend™
MonaVie's delicious blend of body-beneficial fruits is designed to nourish your body with powerful antioxidants and...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you're called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you're waiting for it to say something. After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to اقدام on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak." When آپ leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can't believe آپ embarrassed me AGAIN...."
Bring a vacuum to class. Halfway through class, stand up and start using...
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posted by BellaSwan636
 I NOT HAS A PMS!!!!! - k.
I NOT HAS A PMS!!!!! - k.
-Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says to the other,"Jeez, it's hot in here!" The other one goes,"Aaah!!! Talking muffin!"

-A blonde is driving in her car, past all these fields. Suddenly, she sees a sunflower field with a broken down کشتی in the middle, and another blonde is sitting in it, rowing and rowing. The blonde in the car stops, gets out and screams at the other blonde,"It's blondes like you that make blondes like us look bad! I swear, if I could swim, I'd come over there and slap you!"

-A blonde and a brunette are on a road trip. The brunette is driving, and she thinks her indicator...
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posted by Little_Cullen
O.K, so the other دن we were handed this picture and told to write a poem. Well, آپ know me. This is what I came up with.

Giggle Giggle went the lad’s,
For they were doing something bad,
What they were holding in their hands,
Oh, it was not the building plans!

Leaders of the building team,
Oh - so - sensible they seemed,
But what nobody else did see,
Was making them chuckle with glee!

One of them looked over his shoulder,
One of the men, the picture holder,
Just to make absolutely sure,
No one thought them immature.

When he saw the coast was clear,
Once مزید at the picture did he peer,
And I’m sure سے طرف کی now you’re aware,
Exactly what that man saw there!
okay, so people, my friend Megan and I are making a SECRET club that anyone can join!!! Though it's not a secret any more... Yeah, the SECRET club is called F.S. which stands for Fishy Stuff. And we made a spot on fanpop for F.S. soo آپ can join. Here is the club's rules:

1. Rules are made for breaking
2. Fishy stuff is not a club for people who want to discuis eating fishies
3. In order to شامل میں F.S. آپ must eat at least 100,000 muffins.
4. Ignore theses rules
5. Break every rule appart from this one.
6. چائے is like soup
7. Don't drink the laptop
8. EVERYTHING is yellow
9. this rule does not exist,...
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posted by TDIlover226
1# wait till there talking on the phone and say "your talking to that hooker again arn't you, I know she has problems but theres no need to go all phycaitrist on her.

2# stand اگلے to her and go "toast?" and wait like your waiting for an answer, then go "hello, arn't آپ even gonna answer?" wait till they say what? then go "well, آپ need an aointment to go to that hair stylist", then wait again for them to say something else and go "YOU NEVER RESPECTED ME!" and run out of the room.

3# (this ones for boys) wait until your sister is talking with دوستوں then run up and sit between them and go...
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So there has been a lot of new horror فلمیں coming out and a lot of people doing dumb stuff in that movie.

So I'm gonna help آپ survive. you're welcome.

1. Don't take a trip to a secluded area.
-You could go to Vegas, New York, Paris so why the hell go into a damn desert.

2.Don't invite your boyfriend and the local village slut on the same trip. And don't get mad when they have sex.
-You knew she was a slut so don't get mad when it goes down

3.Don't run out of your hiding spot if the killer can't see you.
-He can't see you! He doesn't know where آپ are! Stay there and shut the hell up.

4.Don't...
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