I found these on Tumblr ... thought they were funny (and pretty damn accurate).
This is a little graphic for those of آپ who shy away from this kinda stuff ;)
1. Bella is clumsy, shy and constantly bites her lower lip when she’s nervous
2. Edward finds her lip biting habits sexy
3. Edward is jealous, over protective and a bit controlling
4. Edward has a temper
5. Though there are no vampires and no werewolves, Human Edward can actually GROWL
6. Edward has the greenest eyes she’s ever seen and a panty dropping crooked smile
7. Edward always has velvety smooth, warm voice that turns to rough when he wants Bella
8. Bella has the deepest brown eyes and he can see to her soul through them
9. Edward has a monster cock that deserves an award and can put any other to shame ;)
10. Though some might think physically impossible, Edward can get hard in less than 3 سیکنڈ after seeing Bella only bite her lip
11. Tanya is a bitch
12. Rose is the coolest badass ever
13. Esme is always wiping tears from her eyes somewhere
14. Carlisle the kindest and most compassionate Doctor ever… unless you’re reading a SAVAGE story [Lorabell note: یا Emancipation Proclamation where he’s a straight up badass]
15. Unless it’s a sex marathon story یا a Dadward/Momella story, you’re gonna have to wait till they say “I love you” before sex
16. Edward always gets Bella to come only 2 سیکنڈ before him and both always happen explosively with white spots behind their eyelids
17. Alice is referred to as a pixie, loves Bella barbie and always takes her shopping against her will
18. No matter how long the story is یا what genre but you’ll ALWAYS find Edward in a towel somewhere with Bella there to drool over the V between his hips
19. Bella hates wearing heels, calls them “death traps” and they’re usually forced on her سے طرف کی Alice یا Rose
20. Edward has LONG fingers that can do wonders with موسیقی and Bella’s [*cough* and Lorabell’s *cough*] lady bits
21. Charlie is always always always fishing… I mean, dude get a life - no one fishes 24/7 not even in Canon
22. Jacob is bad. If he’s not bad, he’s gay. If he’s not gay, he’s a dog. Literally.
23. Mike is a douche. No matter what he does and how nice he is, he’s always a douche with a small dick
24. EVERY TIME Bella and Edward have sex, it’s better than the last and the best sex they have ever had. EVER.
25. Jake almost ALWAYS ends up with Leah
26. Rosalie always smacks Emmet on the back of his head… if she’s not around then it’s Esme
27. They always rip condoms with their teeth
28. At one time یا another you’ll find that “she/he saw something unreadable flicker in his/her eyes but it disappeared before she/he could see what it was”
29. The مصنف will almost always sneak in at least one book یا movie quote
30. When most normal people would have reached for the telephone and dialed 911, Bella is NOT freaked out سے طرف کی Edward watching her sleep
This is a little graphic for those of آپ who shy away from this kinda stuff ;)
1. Bella is clumsy, shy and constantly bites her lower lip when she’s nervous
2. Edward finds her lip biting habits sexy
3. Edward is jealous, over protective and a bit controlling
4. Edward has a temper
5. Though there are no vampires and no werewolves, Human Edward can actually GROWL
6. Edward has the greenest eyes she’s ever seen and a panty dropping crooked smile
7. Edward always has velvety smooth, warm voice that turns to rough when he wants Bella
8. Bella has the deepest brown eyes and he can see to her soul through them
9. Edward has a monster cock that deserves an award and can put any other to shame ;)
10. Though some might think physically impossible, Edward can get hard in less than 3 سیکنڈ after seeing Bella only bite her lip
11. Tanya is a bitch
12. Rose is the coolest badass ever
13. Esme is always wiping tears from her eyes somewhere
14. Carlisle the kindest and most compassionate Doctor ever… unless you’re reading a SAVAGE story [Lorabell note: یا Emancipation Proclamation where he’s a straight up badass]
15. Unless it’s a sex marathon story یا a Dadward/Momella story, you’re gonna have to wait till they say “I love you” before sex
16. Edward always gets Bella to come only 2 سیکنڈ before him and both always happen explosively with white spots behind their eyelids
17. Alice is referred to as a pixie, loves Bella barbie and always takes her shopping against her will
18. No matter how long the story is یا what genre but you’ll ALWAYS find Edward in a towel somewhere with Bella there to drool over the V between his hips
19. Bella hates wearing heels, calls them “death traps” and they’re usually forced on her سے طرف کی Alice یا Rose
20. Edward has LONG fingers that can do wonders with موسیقی and Bella’s [*cough* and Lorabell’s *cough*] lady bits
21. Charlie is always always always fishing… I mean, dude get a life - no one fishes 24/7 not even in Canon
22. Jacob is bad. If he’s not bad, he’s gay. If he’s not gay, he’s a dog. Literally.
23. Mike is a douche. No matter what he does and how nice he is, he’s always a douche with a small dick
24. EVERY TIME Bella and Edward have sex, it’s better than the last and the best sex they have ever had. EVER.
25. Jake almost ALWAYS ends up with Leah
26. Rosalie always smacks Emmet on the back of his head… if she’s not around then it’s Esme
27. They always rip condoms with their teeth
28. At one time یا another you’ll find that “she/he saw something unreadable flicker in his/her eyes but it disappeared before she/he could see what it was”
29. The مصنف will almost always sneak in at least one book یا movie quote
30. When most normal people would have reached for the telephone and dialed 911, Bella is NOT freaked out سے طرف کی Edward watching her sleep
my story, Edward is a smart over achiever, Emmett is in jail, and Bella is a mysterious اگلے door neighbor with some issues.
Edward has to decide if he's going to risk everything for Bella, یا if he's going to continue to please everybody around him and forget about her.
It's E/B AU-AH with heavy drama.
LINK---> link
"La Bella Vita" is a Angst/Horror One-shot featuring a دن in the life of the disturbed Edward Cullen. It's a 'Mentalward' Contest entry.
LINK---> link
Okay, I think it's so unfair that Emmett gets no attention!
Jasper- gets attention because of his power people are always making fun of him
Edward- Hello of course he'll get attention i mean HE is like the MAIN character other then Bella.
Alice- All people feel bad for her. She doesn't no were shes from and she has all her hair cut off so yeah we feel bad for her.
Rosalie- She is PRETTY so almost all boys شائقین LOVE HER
BELLA-I mean come on SHE IS THE MAIN character!!!
Jacob-WHO doesn't love Jacob?
and LASTLY we have Emmett
Emmett- آپ never find a Team Emmett thing anywhere. He is THE LOVE OF Rosalie so most boy شائقین Hate him. and Most girl شائقین are all over Edward یا Jacob.
don't get me wrong I love Edward and Jacob it's just that Emmett hardly has any fans!
so come on girls lets دکھائیں our spirit for THE HOT AND MUSCULAR GUYS!!!!
GO EMMETT!!!
Jasper- gets attention because of his power people are always making fun of him
Edward- Hello of course he'll get attention i mean HE is like the MAIN character other then Bella.
Alice- All people feel bad for her. She doesn't no were shes from and she has all her hair cut off so yeah we feel bad for her.
Rosalie- She is PRETTY so almost all boys شائقین LOVE HER
BELLA-I mean come on SHE IS THE MAIN character!!!
Jacob-WHO doesn't love Jacob?
and LASTLY we have Emmett
Emmett- آپ never find a Team Emmett thing anywhere. He is THE LOVE OF Rosalie so most boy شائقین Hate him. and Most girl شائقین are all over Edward یا Jacob.
don't get me wrong I love Edward and Jacob it's just that Emmett hardly has any fans!
so come on girls lets دکھائیں our spirit for THE HOT AND MUSCULAR GUYS!!!!
GO EMMETT!!!
So in Alice&Jaspers wierd&love Alice finds out she has a daughter and Alex(her daughter)changes her diet and brings her ہوم to the family,everyone likes her!!
So in the New Story Alex and Renesmee become best دوستوں and they start school together and go through everything together like with family,friends,crush's,the imprinting and maybe falling in love!
hope u like it!!!when it comes out!!
Read to find out what happens!!in this new story!!!
So in the New Story Alex and Renesmee become best دوستوں and they start school together and go through everything together like with family,friends,crush's,the imprinting and maybe falling in love!
hope u like it!!!when it comes out!!
Read to find out what happens!!in this new story!!!