Is this song good?

Imagine it in a slower tempo, but don't make it too slow. If آپ don't think it's good let me know what's wrong with it please. What did آپ not like about it. Help me ترمیم it if آپ want to. Thanks :D Don't sugar coat!








Intro
Instrumental


Verse 1

آپ need to say what is on your mind.
I want to see under the words آپ hind behind.
I only view the false you.
All the corruption آپ put my دل through,
Makes me suffer.
آپ are a دل crusher


Chorus

Sometimes, I can't see your true intension.
Sometimes, I can't see through your deception.
I can't see if it's your hearts real reflection
If it's your false projection
Filled with your lie's collection
That makes the perfect liar
The perfect cheater
The perfect schemer
The دل destroyer


Verse 2

It's all the things that آپ do,
It's all the things آپ put me through
It makes me think your words are untrue.
I don’t want to undergo your dishonesty.
I want آپ to say what آپ think openly.
آپ exist to be hurt stretcher.
آپ are a دل treader.



Chorus

Sometimes, I can't see your true intension.
Sometimes, I can't see through your deception.
I can't see if it's your hearts real reflection
If it's your false projection
Filled with your lie's collection
That makes the perfect liar
The perfect cheater
The perfect schemer
The دل destroyer


Instrumental


Bridge

Did آپ wear your دل on your sleeve?
یا is that what آپ wanted me to believe?
There are times I can be so blind.
Those are the times آپ mess with my mind.
I want the truth, not your lies,
What do آپ see me as through those eyes?
آپ really are a deceiver.
آپ are a misleader
To make me see the sweater
In the دل annihilator


Chorus -slow-

Sometimes, I can see your true intension.
Sometimes, I can see through your deception.
I can see that it's your heart’s real reflection.
It’s not your false projection,
You’re filled with your lie's collection,
*
Cool!
Honeytail posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
 Melody_Ann posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
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Fanpop جوابات

zikkiforever said:
Beautiful song. The lyrics just suited it's own melody. It soon came alive.

The only bit I can critique is the دل destroyer and crusher bit. I find the song has the lively melody and when I get to that bit I find the song isn't the same in a way. It seems like آپ are just letting go of your emotions then it is as if آپ are telling somebody off and it doesn't fit. Don't take it the wrong way.

It would be nice to hear آپ sing it. I have it in my head, but hearing somebody sing it will make the song better. To see if how I think it will sound and آپ do are similar

I do love this song.
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
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Well, consider the song "naked and famous" سے طرف کی The Presidents of the United States of America. It has a nice tunes, but it's blasting the rich and the famous and how they brag and abuse their powers due to fame and cash.
NoctusLynx posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
*
I'll consider that before I post the melody. Thanks :)
Melody_Ann posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
-SilverFey- said:
I really like the words, but I would love to hear it sung, so I would know the tune as well.
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
IsidoraSmiley said:
Yeah I really like it :) I kind of came up with a melody for it in my head xD
Did آپ write it?
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
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Yeah :) thanks. I had a melody for it, but no موسیقی :\
Melody_Ann posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
NoctusLynx said:
In my most honest opinion, I can't tell what the song is supposed to sound like, so when I try to make a rhythm for it in my mind, I'm not sure if it fits, so I'd really like to know the rhythm to this song BEFORE I give my actual opinion on if this song is "good" یا not. Just Sayain.
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
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KK, I'll do something about that soon :D
Melody_Ann posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک
Honeytail said:
I love it!
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
Flickerflame said:
I like the lyrics even though they contain a few typos currently. I can't say about the melody یا rhythm. There are a few possible, different people could be reading it differently as they say they like it.
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
amberkinzee said:
This is really amazing. آپ should post a video, not having to be of your face, maybe a slide دکھائیں یا something, so we hear the tune if آپ want. :)
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posted پہلے زیادہ سے سال ایک 
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