Title: The کتیا, کتيا Is Back

Author: Shelby

Summary: "It's about you, Blair. It's the reason I couldn't say I love you. It's because I can't trust you." A one-shot about 3x07 only Blair has a different response. She's not going to be weak anymore and it's about time.

A/N: Review if آپ like it یا I'll probably take it down. This is my frustration with the writers having Blair take so much crap. If آپ prefer Chuck یا Serena's character and side with them over B then don't read. And if آپ believe the writers are destroying our beloved Queen B then do. Enjoy!

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"You're still mad from before. It's clouding your judgment," Blair stuttered. She was not able to grasp how mad he was. He wanted Serena's help over hers. Why was Serena good enough to help and she wasn't? And she had apologized about the kiss now over and over again. She was just trying to help. She had gotten desperate. Jack was irrelevant in her mind, she was doing it for Chuck. She felt degraded when she called and asked for his help, but she loved Chuck that much. Now he looked like he hated her for it?

"This isn't about last week. It's about you, Blair. It's the reason I couldn't say I love you. It's because I can't trust you," Chuck retorted. Blair felt her دل shatter into about a million pieces. Had he honestly just کہا that to her? Had he really just told her she made it so hard for him to love her? That just like everyone else in her life it was a burden for him to love her too? She felt the vomit rise in her through, but pushed it back down. Soon she knew that she would cry. Maybe she had misunderstood him...

"I did this because I love you," she breathed. Her voice now seemed so weak, like she was broken. How come he always managed to be the one who broke her? She had apologized for what she had done, why would he say something like that to her?

"Be that as it may," Chuck's eyes darkened, "I have a club to open. And you're not invited." Blair suddenly felt all her sadness turn to instant anger. What the hell?! Her own eyes darkened and she stepped towards him, about to explode.

"You know what Chuck stop playing the victim!" Her voice echoed around the room. Serena turned to look at her with wide eyes and Chuck now looked مزید angered because of the scene she caused, but she hadn't cared. She was sick of everyone always giving her so much crap, making her so weak.

"Blair," he seethed.

"No! آپ listen to me for once!" Her hand smacked against her chest. She then blasted with all the anger buried in her, which was a lot. "Yes, what I did was wrong and I'm sorry! I've told آپ that numerous times now! But if anyone has the right to have trust issues in this relationship it's me! And don't آپ dare pin you're cowardliness of taking so long to say I love آپ back on me! It's your own insecurities, we all have them, but at least I take credit for mine! Not to mention you've used me in one of your own plots before too!"

"I have never..." he started, but she stopped him.

"Don't even. Serena is standing there if I need verification," Blair interjected, voice low and laced with venom. "Do آپ remember when آپ tried to seduce me at my party that night of the blackout? When I was with Marcus? In the end آپ may have realized what آپ desired before wasn't what آپ wanted, but that doesn't change the motive to flat out use me for your own gain. آپ told Serena that آپ needed me for a fix, that things weren't working mechanically, but after a night with me... One last go around if I recall you'd be alright. Does that sound like using someone else for your own benefit in a scheme? YES IT DOES!" Their faces were so close and Blair grew red with anger.

"That's ancient history," he spat. Blair laughed out of bitterness and clapped her hands.

"Oh ladies and gentlemen his پسندیدہ fucking phrase! Let's talk about it shall we?!" She knew that she sounded like a mad woman, but in a way she was. She had taken so much for so long and once it started to come out there was no stopping it. In fact she hadn't even wanted to stop it. "You, Serena, and everyone else around here has such double standards it makes me sick! Like when آپ guys do something wrong, holding it over your head is practically immoral, so I forgive you! آپ always say that's ancient history and put it all back on me, all of آپ do! Because as soon as I do something wrong all hell breaks loose! It's completely unforgivable and I'm such a terrible person who deserves to be shunned سے طرف کی everyone around me!"

"Blair آپ hold grudges too," Serena کہا suddenly. Blair's head snapped towards her. How dare she even think she had the right to say anything.

"Oh spare me Serena!" Blair rolled her eyes that now brimmed with tears of an anger breakdown. "You already won this one again! He chose آپ over me, one of my biggest insecurities سے طرف کی the way," she nodded at Chuck, "by wanting your help over mine! آپ always do that! آپ take everything from me and آپ don't even realize it! Then آپ put yourself on this pedestal and act all above, but you're not Serena! You're worse than me because at least I own up to being a bitch! That's مزید than آپ can say." Serena's eyes darted away from Blair, but it wasn't relevant anymore. Her eyes then went to Chuck again. "Has everything we've been through suddenly slipped your mind?" She wasn't yelling anymore, but the way her voice sounded was worse.

"I..." Chuck was not able to respond. She had taken his usual phrase and now made it unusable.

"Do آپ not recall I stopped آپ from jumping of an f-ing roof Chuck? آپ would be dead now if it wasn't for me! How many people can آپ say that about?! Can آپ say that you've ever saved my life, no آپ can't!" Her breathing had become heavy.

"Well what about when Carter..." Chuck started to retort and he moved closer to her. Blair literally laughed in his face and cut him off.

"Oh forgive me! I forgot when آپ finally realized I was in downward spiral! When آپ so chivalrously jumped in at the last منٹ to save me," her tone was very sarcastic, "Why were آپ so late in helping again? Oh that's right. After I helped آپ through everything until I finally had all I could take آپ just moved onto to some random whore with that gentleman's club! The most beautiful woman you've ever seen if I recall?! Why don't I feel fucking special!"

Chuck just stared at her. There was nothing he could say. He knew the moment he opened his mouth, whatever excuse he threw she'd destroy it. He had never seen her like this before. And to make matters worse everything she کہا was true. He had no defense. He was Blair. Where him, Serena, Nate, and everyone else always put her. He was in the corner they always pushed her into. Nowhere to run یا hide, had to just sit there and take it. Only he actually deserved it.

"Serena آپ need to hear this last part to," Blair called to her. A few tears trailed down her cheeks and her voice broke. Slowly her best friend walked over to where they were, she was still unable to look Blair in the eye. Blair had thrown her fits before, but this was different. No one called Serena out and now she had. How was she supposed to rebuttal against that? She wasn't دیا the free pass she had become accustomed to. Blair had snatched it away from her, from her and Chuck. Blair's perfectly manicured hand pointed towards them and she shook her head. Her eyes now looked angry, sad, and disappointed. Her true raw emotions were displayed. There was no doubt about it.

"Whenever آپ two do something wrong... I forgive آپ Chuck. And Serena everyone practically gives آپ the get out of jail free card every time," a small sob escaped Blair's perfect ruby lips, "Like when آپ slept with Nate? If I hadn't دیا آپ those few days of torture do آپ think anyone else would have?" Her brown eyes met Serena's and they locked. The silence went on and Blair laughed, but it sounded so sad. "You can't even answer me because آپ have no defense. آپ know they would have just forgotten it within the گھنٹہ because you're Serena Vanderwoodsen. You're perfect and آپ can do no wrong. آپ sleep with other peoples boyfriends and you're worshiped. آپ slept with Nate when آپ knew he was the only thing in my life I took pride in. The only thing my mother approved of. The only thing that made me good enough for her. آپ ruined the one thing I had over you. And I forgave you... I still loved you. آپ were still my best friend. But then you," she turned towards Chuck, "You proved once again how different it would be for me since I'm not Serena."

Blair had to pause for a moment. She had not wanted to bring up the past, but it needed to be brought up. She wanted them to see how much they had hurt her. Give examples for how it all started and constantly happened into the future. She loved these two people مزید than anything, but they were the ones who hurt her most. Every single time.

"When آپ exposed our sex life to Gossip Girl. Even though I was broken up with Nate, unlike when Serena slept with him, everyone shunned me. My whole life fell apart, I was dethroned, nothing was ever the same. The girls never respected me again. I reclaimed the throne, but after that they now constantly knocked me from it... Let me think I was just up there. Jenny Humphrey herself told me I wasn't popular, I hadn't been for a long time at the end of last year. And I hate it, but she was right. People still held that grudge over me practically two years later. Two years!" She quickly wiped at her cheeks. She knew the mascara was probably now smudged, but image was the last thing on her mind.

"B..." Serena's own voice now sounded shaky. She had not been so oblivious to her دوستوں hurt, but realized she never stopped to think about it either. Blair shook her head before the blond was able to continue. Chuck stared at her, the girl he loved مزید broken than ever before him. He felt water threaten to come to his own eyes and was able to do nothing, but push it back with all his might.

"And then آپ did it again. آپ helped Serena take even مزید from me. آپ told her the perfect answer I had spent years of my life figuring out to tell the dean. And you," Blair turned towards Serena, "You took the one thing I had left at the time to look آگے to. I'm so miserable at NYU. Both of آپ know that, but آپ don't even seem to care." There was no anger left in her now, just sadness. It made her think of the steps of grief, after someone dies. Only it was her who died, the old Blair Waldorf. All the pain and hurt from the years she had received. This time she had not even seen her break down coming. It was worse because it sneaked up on her. And it made her recall everything that had ruined her once dreamed of life, when she was strong. Before it was all lost like dust in the wind towards the end of Junior year.

"I... I wanted to help," Chuck whispered. His voice had broken at help, but the sentence still got out. Blair's eyes burned into his and he knew in that moment what he کہا mean nothing to her. It was just a useless sentence at this point. She shook her head, unable to look him in the eyes. He still tried to defend himself aloud, so had Serena. They never knew how to fix it, to fix her. She knew how to do it for them, but they never were able to return the favor.

"But آپ didn't. Why do آپ think I made up that scheme and tricked آپ into kissing a guy in the first place? I don't want آپ to think I'm weak. I didn't want آپ to find out. Like آپ with this I wanted to have something of my own. I wanted to get the speech on my own, at least be able to tell myself that I thought of it all and didn't need آپ یا Serena. And despite what آپ want Chuck آپ always make it seem like your life is مزید important than mine. Take the picture for example. We were set up سے طرف کی Georgina, but I gave آپ it in the end. I believed in you, but آپ never believe in me. آپ tell Nate that he should love me for exactly what I am, but آپ can't do the same." She rose to meet his eyes again and saw a spark of anger, from defense.

"Yes I can. That's a lie and آپ know that I love آپ for everything that آپ are. But آپ even now admitted آپ have trust issues with me. That means آپ don't believe in me either than..." His voice started to raise. Serena's eyes closed tightly. She was now able to recognize that was not the way to go about it. But like Chuck they only saw others faults. Their own mistakes were realized when it was too late یا just completely ignored.

"Chuck!" Blair screamed. "You wouldn't even have this stupid hotel یا party to un-invite me from if it wasn't for me in the first place! آپ کہا it yourself that I believed in you! That because of how I made آپ feel آپ knew that آپ could do it!" He silenced, anger diminished again, cornered again سے طرف کی Blair, but in reality himself. Her voice softened. "Think about when آپ tried to inspire me. Did آپ give me the picture and say آپ believed in me? No, آپ didn't. Instead آپ gave that speech, which I'm not putting down, but after آپ took Jenny Humphrey to the premiere. Those girls now think I have less rank than her because all I had going for me was you. And I shouldn't care what they think, but that's me. I pride myself in others opinions آپ know that! It was the only thing I was in control of at the time and آپ put her higher than me. Yes I loved آپ for making me realize it and finding my minions was great, but how come I could go about it without taking another guy to the auction? How do آپ think that would have made آپ react? Can آپ answer me?"

"I would have criticized آپ about it for not thinking of Chuck's feelings," Serena admitted. The سوال had not been directed towards her, but her answer was truthful. She knew what she would have done, the double standard with Blair was very real. Even if she now hated that it was.

"Well at least she can admit it now," Blair told Chuck, eyes never looking to Serena. "If the past is irrelevant, ancient history then Jack should have been to. Calling him should have been no different than آپ calling Serena for help with this party. See how wrong that sounds? It shouldn't be irrelevant یا considered ancient history, but when the tables are turned it always is. If you're going to make it that way for you, then I deserve the same Chuck."

"Jack is different," Chuck snapped. He regretted it instantly when he saw her eyes, but had not been able to stop it. He hated Jack so much, سب, سب سے اوپر reason because of what him and Blair had done. He understood what Blair meant, but the mention of that Bastard's name filled him with instant rage.

"Fine!" Blair roared.

"Blair wait..." he tried, but she wasn't going to listen anymore. Angry Blair was back. Sad Blair had been buried down deep again. He had pushed her past the point of reasoning.

"You know what! I'm mad at you! I don't forgive آپ for doing everything I've told آپ tonight! آپ make it up to me if آپ even care! آپ wanna play this game I thought we were done with play سے طرف کی yourself! آپ get me to forgive you, but this time like آپ always do with me I'm دکھانا no mercy! Let's see how آپ like it when you're not instantly forgiven! I don't even want to come to your stupid opening یا to help with it! In fact now that you've asked Serena to help, chose her over me, I bet it will be a great disaster that everyone will approve of!" She chuckled lividly, "I don't believe in you! Hurtful isn't it?! Well then fix it yourself! Make me believe in آپ again! Don't say things like I basically couldn't love آپ because I can't trust you! That means that آپ didn't believe in me enough to give me your heart! آپ let suffer! آپ destroyed the last thing I had going for me with that one little sentence! Congratulations I now have nothing! So have fun at your stupid little party! I am making my minions دوستوں and going out with them! I'm having fun without either of آپ because for the first time in my life I don't need آپ anymore! I love آپ both, but until آپ can treat me with the same دل I love آپ with, I can't be around Serena Vanderwoodsen یا Chuck Bass. I'm not weak! I'm Blair Waldorf and it's about time I proved that to everyone! And for the first time in your lives when something goes wrong یا your hearts break, don't expect me to pick up the pieces! Not until آپ can do the same for me," Blair concluded. With that she turned her back on them, before either were able to say a word. This wasn't about them, she loved them, but she needed to love herself again too. This person she had become, so weak, it wasn't her. And in order to get the old Blair back, Queen B at heart, keeping people who weren't ready to change wasn't possible. If they wanted back in her life, to help her like she had always helped them, then they needed to come to her. She wasn't falling into a downward spiral, but pulling herself out of one. It was about time.

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A/N: Okay that's it. I hope آپ liked the one-shot. Review if it's good, if not then I'll take it down. I want to make it clear Blair isn't ending her relationship with Chuck, I love C/B too much, but دکھانا him and Serena in order for it to ever continue they need to be there for her too. It's time Queen B came back in my opinion. The writers need to drop the Blair bashing and let her be the amazing کتیا, کتيا she is. She doesn't deserve all the crap she gets and it's about time they learned that!

xoxo,

Shelby