Today, I diagnosed metastatic cancer in a new patient who had just come to see me. I had to tell this young, beautiful, vibrant woman that did not not have long to live, perhaps a few months. There was nothing I could do for her. All I could do was to tell her that I cared for her. I could دکھائیں her my professional “love.” My consultation رپورٹ was faxed to the patient’s referring primary physician, and an گھنٹہ later, the physician called me, in disbelief. Together on the phone, we could only share a sense of profound loss.
آپ might read this and think: Love is useless in this case. Love will not cure her cancer, nor will love protect her from the pain and suffering that is imminent. And آپ would be absolutely correct. But what is the alternative to love? Is it hate? Is it apathy?
When I was younger, I used to consider that only actions and accomplishments are truly useful. آپ can فہرست them, objectively and concretely. آپ can measure productivity and compare the results to other people’s activities. But when there is no useful action, as in this case, is there nothing left but despair? When someone hurts you, is there nothing to do but retaliate? Medically, it has been shown that hate hurts آپ physically just as much, if not more, than the person آپ hate. Scientifically, it has been shown that despair pains آپ mentally just as much, if not more, than actual bodily trauma.
So, should آپ choose “love”, because it is the lesser of two evils? Well, I certainly do not think so. As I get older and accumulate مزید knowledge and experience, I realize مزید how little control I have over life in general. Maybe آپ did not have a good childhood, perhaps people have done horrible things to you, natural disasters occur, and now آپ are helpless.
Please realize that the only thing آپ have under your control is how آپ feel and how آپ will react to external events. Unless آپ have a psychiatric illness, آپ can choose to “love” یا آپ can choose to “hate.” None of us lives forever. Do آپ want to wait until you’re lying on your deathbed before آپ think “maybe I should have been nicer to this person یا to that person?” یا do آپ want to evaluate every دن of your life whether آپ have contributed in some way some love to the world that day? I offer آپ my humble opinion that “Love is THE answer – every دن of the year!”
آپ might read this and think: Love is useless in this case. Love will not cure her cancer, nor will love protect her from the pain and suffering that is imminent. And آپ would be absolutely correct. But what is the alternative to love? Is it hate? Is it apathy?
When I was younger, I used to consider that only actions and accomplishments are truly useful. آپ can فہرست them, objectively and concretely. آپ can measure productivity and compare the results to other people’s activities. But when there is no useful action, as in this case, is there nothing left but despair? When someone hurts you, is there nothing to do but retaliate? Medically, it has been shown that hate hurts آپ physically just as much, if not more, than the person آپ hate. Scientifically, it has been shown that despair pains آپ mentally just as much, if not more, than actual bodily trauma.
So, should آپ choose “love”, because it is the lesser of two evils? Well, I certainly do not think so. As I get older and accumulate مزید knowledge and experience, I realize مزید how little control I have over life in general. Maybe آپ did not have a good childhood, perhaps people have done horrible things to you, natural disasters occur, and now آپ are helpless.
Please realize that the only thing آپ have under your control is how آپ feel and how آپ will react to external events. Unless آپ have a psychiatric illness, آپ can choose to “love” یا آپ can choose to “hate.” None of us lives forever. Do آپ want to wait until you’re lying on your deathbed before آپ think “maybe I should have been nicer to this person یا to that person?” یا do آپ want to evaluate every دن of your life whether آپ have contributed in some way some love to the world that day? I offer آپ my humble opinion that “Love is THE answer – every دن of the year!”
