January 1, 2015,

I looked around the hospital room and کہا "I'm so glad that I can finally go home! I didn't expect it to take that many days for me to be rehydrated enough to go home!" Kyle کہا as we walked out to my truck "what do آپ think your family is going to say when they find out that you're pregnant with my baby?" I کہا "you heard what the doctor کہا to me yesterday; I can't be stressed out and I can pretty much guarantee آپ that a few people in particular are going to raise my stress level once they find out I'm pregnant again! The whole reason I passed out in the first place was because of the pressure that was being put on me! The last thing I need are my uncles and aunt Janet complaining about me being pregnant!!!" Kyle کہا "I understand that آپ don't want to tell them; but آپ can't hide it forever! Wouldn't آپ rather them find out from us? Rather than the other option; which is to دکھائیں up one دن with a huge stomach and have your water break!" I کہا "it's completely up to آپ whether آپ want to tell them are not! All I know is that I'm not putting up with their BS because it's not good for me یا the baby! آپ can tell them; just don't do it when I'm around because I really don't want to hear it! I couldn't care less about what they think and I don't feel like they should act like they deserve for their opinions to be heard! They tried to turn grandma against me and my siblings! They kidnapped her and we had no idea where she was! They talk bad about dad in front of all of us and that makes me so angry because all dad ever did for them was basically bend over backwards to make sure that had everything they ever wanted! I don't even really think I want to see them again for as long as I live!" Kyle کہا "we really need to stop talking about this because I can tell just doing that is stressing آپ out babe! Don't worry about telling them that you're pregnant; I'll tell them when you're not around!" I کہا "in the meantime, we can at least tell my grandmother, Blanket, Prince, and Paris because I know that they'll be happy for us!" Kyle asked "how are we going to tell Carter?" I کہا "give me a few days because I just got out of the hospital and I need to regroup! We can tell him after I get settled back in at home!" Kyle کہا "I feel so terrible that آپ had that much stress on your shoulders! I shouldn't have let Frank put that much pressure on آپ about going back on tour when آپ weren't ready to!" I کہا "that's not your fault Kyle! I realize that I'm the one that has to bring the money in for us to live off of. I can promise آپ that a few months after the baby is born I'll be مزید than ready to go on tour again because I'll have مزید time to prepare my mind to be away from آپ guys for nine months straight!"

We pulled up in front of my grandmother's house and walked inside. Grandma came up to me and frantically asked "are آپ okay? What happened? I heard آپ passed out at your concert!!!" I chuckled and کہا "relax grandma; I'm fine!" She کہا "sorry; I just feel like I have to compensate for how worried your father would be if he was here!" Paris and Prince came running up to me and Prince کہا "I'm so glad you're okay AJ! I was really worried about آپ when I found out that آپ passed out!" Paris کہا "I know; I was too! The video of آپ passing out on stage is all over YouTube and the news! I guess one of the شائقین had a video camera with them and captured the whole thing! آپ seemed like آپ to the ground really hard!"

I opened up the doors to the ماند, خلوت خانہ and gestured for my grandmother and siblings to follow me inside. Grandma کہا "whatever happened to آپ must've been pretty serious for آپ to want to talk to us alone in here! I don't like the vibe you're putting out AJ; you're worrying me!" Kyle and I sat down on the سوفی, لٹانا اگلے to them and they all looked at us with worried expressions on their faces. We sat there in stunned silence for about five منٹ before Kyle burst out and کہا "I can't take it anymore; AJ'S PREGNANT!!!" Paris looked at me and کہا "wait; I thought آپ couldn't get her pregnant Kyle! It is Kyle's baby; I hope!" I rolled my eyes and کہا "of course it's his baby Paris! I would never cheat on Kyle!" She took a sigh of relief as Prince asked "then how are آپ pregnant with his baby?" I کہا "there was only a 5% chance of him being able to get me pregnant on his own; so we thought the odds of it actually working were pretty much impossible! I guess this is one of those times where someone can say never say never!" Grandma asked "is that why آپ passed out AJ? Did آپ know آپ were pregnant? Were آپ trying to hide it just so آپ could go on tour and hope that nobody would find out?" I کہا "no; I didn't pass out because of that. I passed out because I was dehydrated from the morning sickness. I didn't know at all that I'm pregnant! I just thought I was throwing up because of nerves. Being pregnant was the last thing on my mind!" She asked "were آپ and Kyle still trying to get pregnant; even though the doctor کہا that there was pretty much your chance of that happening?" I کہا "I wouldn't say that we were necessarily trying to get pregnant. It was one of those things where if that happened we wouldn't be opposed to it! Kyle and I pretty much accepted the fact that he would never give us any biological children together! Before this happened, we actually started looking into adopting a child. "Blanket کہا "I'm so happy that I'm going to be an uncle again!" Kyle کہا "we really appreciate آپ watching Carter and taking him to school for us while AJ has been in the hospital! Before I forget, I want آپ guys to help keep AJ's stress level down during the pregnancy because the doctor کہا it's not good for the baby!!! The doctors don't really want her doing too much while she's pregnant! She's pretty much on بستر rest the entire pregnancy!" Prince laughed and کہا "like that's going to happen! AJ has ADHD and is going to be impossible to make her relax for nine months!" Kyle کہا "I have a feeling it's going to take all of us for her to follow through with taking it easy; but we have to make it work!"

January 9, 2015,

Carter sat at the edge of his بستر watching TV when Kyle and I decided to check on him. I sat down and کہا "hi buddy; I bet you're wondering why I didn't go on tour like I کہا I was going to!" He کہا "yeah; I was just thinking about that! Why didn't آپ go mommy?" I کہا with a smile on my face "you're going to have a little brother یا sister soon!" He asked "you and daddy are having a baby together? How come your stomach is not big?" Kyle chuckled and کہا "it doesn't get big right away Carter! It'll be a while before آپ can really tell!" Carter کہا "make sure it's a boy because I want a little brother!" I کہا "we don't get to pick what it's going to be Carter; it just happens!"

February 3, 2015,

I had just left the bathroom, after waking up early in the morning with morning sickness and I climbed back into bed. Kyle asked "are آپ sure you're okay?" I کہا "yes; I told آپ it's normal for me to be throwing up!" He کہا "if there's anything آپ ever need from me don't be afraid to ask!" I کہا "there is one thing." He asked "what is it?" I کہا "I've been craving Chinese food like crazy and I was wondering if آپ would go get us some?" He looked over at the clock and کہا "it's 6 o'clock in the morning and I don't know if any Chinese food places are open this early. I'll go check anyway; just because I love you." I کہا "thanks Kyle; I really appreciate it!"

A few hours later, he arrived back at the house and walked up to our bedroom carrying a huge bag of Chinese food. He کہا "sorry it took me so long; you're in luck though because I found a 24-hour Chinese food restaurant a few towns over!" I کہا "you didn't have to drive that far just to get me the food that I wanted!" He کہا "I know; but I wanted to!" He started picked up food out of the bag and sat down on the bed. He کہا "I know Damien wasn't here for آپ last time when آپ were pregnant with Carter and I want to دکھائیں آپ how a real man is supposed to act!" I کہا "you don't really have to treat me any different just because I'm pregnant." He کہا "you deserve to be treated like the Queen!" I کہا "I know one thing's for sure; I hate being stuck in this bedroom all دن every day!" He کہا "it's only been a little over a week and آپ are already going crazy!" I کہا "I don't understand why I have to lay in بستر pretty much the entire pregnancy! My ADHD is driving me nuts and I don't know how much of this I can take!" He کہا "I know that it seems like it sucks right now; but it'll be worth it once آپ see the baby for the first time!" I کہا "I know you're right; I just hope that I can keep my stress level down enough to where it doesn't affect the baby!" He کہا "I'll do everything I can to make sure that آپ relax as much as possible until the baby is born! Don't worry about anything because I've got it under control!"

February 23, 2015,

"I can't believe we're having a baby girl!" Kyle کہا as we walked in the house after going to the doctors. I کہا "I'm so glad it's a girl because after this I'm done being pregnant! I don't want any مزید kids!" Kyle کہا "we have our son and our daughter and that's good enough for me!" I sat down on the سوفی, لٹانا and Kyle کہا "since I wasn't around when آپ named Carter, آپ should let me name her on my own! At least the first name!" I کہا "I don't know if آپ can handle that Kyle! It would be different if we were having a boy; but آپ have to remember that whatever name we name our daughter she is going to be stuck with for the rest of her life! I don't want her to have a stupid name!" He کہا "the name I picked out isn't that bad! How about if I give her the name I picked out for her first name and آپ can pick out whatever آپ want for her middle name?" I asked "what name did آپ pick out for her first name Kyle?" He کہا "Addison." I raised my eyebrows and کہا "actually, I like it! Okay: آپ win! We can name her Addison!"

I grabbed the baby book off the میز, جدول and started to flip through the pages. I stopped and کہا out loud "Addison Avery; how does that sound to you?" He کہا "I really like that!" I کہا "I guess her names going to be Addison Avery Lester; that was easier than I thought it would be!" Kyle کہا "speaking of names; I've always wondered why آپ didn't change your last name to Lester when آپ and I got married." I کہا "it's not that I didn't want to; but part of my celebrity image is my last name and if I changed it that would probably affect my fans! I've been known as Alanna Jackson سے طرف کی the public for so long that it would be awkward if I changed my last name." He کہا "that's okay; I understand! I was just always curious. It doesn't really matter to me whether یا not آپ have my last name!"

April 15, 2015,

Kyle was gone go shopping and I was up in my room when the phone rang. I answered it and the person on the other end کہا "excuse me; I'm looking for Miss Jackson." I کہا "this is her." She responded "hello; I'm the principal at your son Carter's school." I asked "is everything okay?" She کہا "no; not really. Carter's been suspended and I need آپ to come pick him up." I کہا "suspended; what can آپ possibly suspend a first grader for doing?" She کہا "Carter was using foul language in front of the other children and inside his classroom. He was told several times not to say the things he was saying; but he just continued on." I کہا as I sighed "okay; I'll be there in a few منٹ to pick him up."

Even though I knew I wasn't supposed to be walking around much, I had to go pick up Carter because Kyle was gone. After driving to the school, I climbed out of my truck and walked inside. I walked down to the principal's office and the secretary let me into the room. I casually walked in and Carter looked up at me with shame in his eyes. I looked at the principal and کہا as I grabbed Carter's arm "I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I assure آپ that it won't happen again." She کہا "he suspended for a week of school. I'll see آپ then."

After Carter and I got into the truck, he looked at me in silence and I looked at him and he کہا "please don't tell daddy mommy!" I asked "what did آپ say in your classroom that got آپ in trouble?" He کہا "I told the teacher to shut the fuck up because she wouldn't stop complaining about my handwriting! Please don't tell daddy!" I rolled my eyes and کہا "don't worry; I won't because I know how it feels to get into trouble and I'm not the type of parent that's going to punish you. It's no big deal; I'll figure something out so daddy doesn't suspect anything weird going on!"

When we pulled into the driveway, Kyle had already gotten ہوم and had parked his car اگلے to my parking spot. The two of us walked inside and Kyle asked "where have آپ been AJ? آپ know you're not supposed to be out of bed! Why is Carter with you?" I کہا while thinking quickly "you must've forgotten that today starts April break for Carter! He doesn't have school for a whole week." Kyle کہا "I've been so busy making sure that you're okay AJ that I must've forgotten all about it!" As Kyle walked away, Carter gave me a secretive high-five and کہا "thanks for covering for me mommy!"

April 21, 2015,

I'm running out of things to do to keep myself busy because Kyle won't let me do anything other than stay up here in our bedroom all دن every day! I decided to have him bring some of my childhood ہوم فلمیں for us to watch together. He put one of the فلمیں in the VCR and pressed play:

Dated at the bottom of the screen January 5, 2005,

I was holding the camera and laughing hysterically as dad attempted to skateboard; but he could barely stand up on it. He کہا "I don't know about this AJ! It doesn't look safe! I don't know how آپ do this! It's moving around too much for me!" I کہا "dad; come on! You're being such a wimp! Once آپ get the hang of it, you'll be fine; trust me! It's not as hard as it looks!" He hopped off skateboard and کہا "I'll stick to dancing. I'm afraid that if I keep trying to skateboard on that thing I will crack my head open!" I کہا "you're going to be missing out; that's all I have to say about it." He کہا "all I know about skateboarding is that I better not catch آپ without your ہیلمیٹ on!" I کہا "yeah, yeah, yeah; I know dad! آپ don't have to give me a lecture!" He کہا "it may seem like I'm nagging you; but you'll thank me later!"

*Video ends*

I immediately started crying and Kyle asked "is it the pregnancy mood swings again?" I کہا "my dad was supposed to be here! He shouldn't have died! Being pregnant again only makes me miss him مزید because it reminds me of how much he did for me when I was pregnant with Carter!" Kyle کہا "I wish there was something I could do to make آپ feel better! If آپ don't want to watch anymore ویڈیوز we don't have to." I کہا "I don't think I could handle watching another video with him in it. It's just too much for me to handle! I don't understand why I was just so mean to him when all he ever wanted was to make me a good person! I just keep going back to the دن when I pretty much ditched him with Carter to go get drunk with some of my friends! I'll be the first to admit that I wasn't a good mom at all of the beginning! My dad pretty much took care of him on his own while I slept all دن and drank all night! I hate to say it; but if my dad wasn't around to take care of Carter those last few months before he passed away I don't think I would have Carter today! He would probably be in the foster care system because I wouldn't have taken care of him! Looking back on it now, I treated my dad like a personal babysitter and I should have appreciated everything that he's done for me over the years! It wasn't fair to him! He didn't want to be a dad again and basically he was because I wasn't taking care of my son!" Kyle کہا "you really need to stop beating yourself up for that! That happened a long time پہلے and آپ heard what the psychic said! Your dad forgives آپ and he doesn't want آپ to feel guilty about stuff that happened before he died!" I کہا "I just don't understand why he had to die when I was only 15 years old and a teenage mother on سب, سب سے اوپر of that! He left me at the worst possible time and I wasn't at all prepared for the reality of how the real world worked! Anytime I ever got in trouble before, he would come to my rescue and now he isn't here anymore to protect me from how awful the world can be!" Kyle کہا "I know that if he had the choice to stay alive he would still be here! He even told آپ through the psychic that he wasn't ready to leave this world!" I کہا "I would do anything just to hug him one مزید time!"

April 25, 2015,

Kyle came and asked with irritation in his voice "how long were آپ planning to lie to me?" I asked "what do آپ mean?" He کہا "Carter's school just called and asked me if we wanted someone to drop off the school work he's missed this week!" I کہا "I knew آپ would overreact and punish Carter from getting suspended! That's the whole reason I lied to آپ in the first place!" He کہا "I don't want this to turn into a fight because it's not good for آپ یا the baby. All I'm saying is that if آپ don't start punishing him soon for misbehaving it will only get worse." I کہا "I realized that Kyle; but what he did wasn't that bad! I've done way worse when I was seven years old!"

Kyle called Carter into our bedroom and Kyle asked "how come آپ didn't tell me that آپ got suspended from school?" Carter کہا "mommy کہا it was no big deal! آپ just need to mind your own business daddy!” My eyes widened in shock سے طرف کی what had just come out of my son’s mouth. I کہا "don't talk to your dad like that Carter." Kyle just rolled his eyes in disbelief as Carter walked out of the room.

May 3, 2015,

Kyle came out of Carter's bedroom and کہا "I took the video game out of his room." I asked "why did آپ do that?" He کہا "because his teacher just called and he's been suspended again." I asked "what did he do this time?" Kyle کہا "he ran off of school grounds during recess and the teacher couldn't find him!" I کہا "maybe we should just take him out of school and start homeschooling him." Kyle کہا "that's not going to fix the problem AJ! What he really needs is for one of us to discipline him and since آپ won't let me do it you're going to have to!" I کہا "disciplining him isn't going to make a difference. I don't see it as a big deal because the teachers found him. I'm not going to discipline him for that Kyle!" Kyle کہا with irritation in his voice "so you're just going to leave me to pick up the pieces when you're gone on tour? I'll have to deal with him and a newborn baby all on my own; the way things are going he's going to be out of control سے طرف کی the time آپ leave! The principal کہا she would drop him off for us because I can't trust آپ to stay in بستر like you're supposed to!"

Before long, Carter walked through the door and Kyle looked at me; expecting me to do something. I walked Carter into his room and shut the door behind us. I sat down on the بستر اگلے to him and کہا "I can't believe آپ walked off of school grounds Carter!" He کہا "whatever" and flopped backwards onto the bed. I کہا "it's not whatever Carter! Nobody knew where آپ were and آپ could have gotten hurt! Someone could've hurt آپ یا kidnapped you! Do آپ know how sad your dad and I would have been if we lost you?" Carter chuckled and کہا "I was only gone for a few منٹ mommy!" I کہا sternly "I don't find this funny at all and آپ will be punished!" Carter کہا "yeah right; آپ wouldn't do that!" I asked "you want to bet?"

I removed the mounted flatscreen TV off of the دیوار and walked out of the room. Once Carter realized what I was doing, he ran up to me and kicked me in my stomach right in front of Kyle. That's when Kyle flipped out! He shouted "DID آپ JUST KICK YOUR MOTHER IN THE STOMACH?" Carter immediately started crying at the sound of Kyle raising his voice at him because he's never done that before. I کہا "whoa Kyle; chill out! He's only seven!" Kyle کہا "go to your room Carter!" Carter ran off to his room and slammed the door.

Kyle asked frantically "are آپ okay? I can't believe he kicked آپ in your stomach; you're pregnant!" I کہا "I know you're scared for the baby; but that doesn't give آپ any excuse to scream at Carter like that! آپ saw his face; he was terrified of آپ and still is! I didn't expect آپ to traumatize him like that! He's never been exposed to that sort of reaction before! I don't appreciate آپ acting like that towards him and I think آپ should apologize to him! That was totally uncalled for!"

Kyle felt terrible as he walked into Carter's bedroom and saw him hysterically crying on his bed. Kyle knelt down اگلے to him and کہا "I didn't mean to scare آپ Carter. I'm sorry buddy! آپ just can't kick mommy in the stomach like that because it could've hurt the baby. That's the only reason why I screamed at you; but I won't do it again because I know it was wrong!" Carter sat up and کہا "that was really scary how your face turned red!"

Kyle decided to leave the room because he was feeling awful and I think he actually wanted to cry. I sat down on the بستر and looked around the room. I proceeded to give my son a lecture; which is something I thought I would never do. I کہا "if your behavior doesn't get better soon I'm going to start making آپ go to school at home; like I had originally planned." Carter کہا "but آپ can't do that because I have so many friends! I love going to school!" I کہا "if I want to do that than I have the right as your mother to do so." Carter asked eagerly "if I say I'm sorry for getting suspended from school and kicking آپ do I get my TV back?" I کہا "yes; a week from now! Nice try though!"

I shut Carter's bedroom door after setting him up with a game on my laptop. I stood outside the doorway and slid my back down the دیوار as I sat down on the ground. Kyle came over with tears in his eyes and sat down اگلے to me. He put his arm around me and کہا "I'm so sorry AJ! I never intended to scream at him like that! I guess I just got caught up in the moment and overreacted!" I stared off into space and Kyle asked "what's wrong?" I کہا softly under my breath "I just realized how much I sounded like my dad when I was punishing Carter just now. Oh my God; that's freaking me out! I sounded exactly like he did when he was punishing me!" Kyle laughed and کہا "I bet آپ never thought in 1 million years that آپ would lecture your son just like your dad did with آپ for 15 years!"

May 13, 2015,

I was going through some old stuff in the attic while Carter looked through some boxes for something to play with. He came across a book and passed it to me. I asked "what's this buddy?" He کہا "I don't know; but it has your name on it. I looked at the front cover of what appeared to be a تصویر album with the words "daddy's little tomboy" written in marker across the top.

Carter sat on my lap as I started to flip through the pages. He pointed to a picture of dad and I in the swimming pool and asked "who is that? Why are they in our swimming pool?" I کہا as I chuckled "that's me when I was your age and your Papa!" He asked with a puzzled look on his face "why are آپ guys in our swimming pool?" I کہا "this is where I grew up Carter! My daddy raised me here just like daddy and I are raising آپ here!" Carter joked "you grew up mommy? آپ still act like a big kid!" I smiled and کہا "yeah; I guess I really didn't grow up after all!"

As we looked at the various photos, Carter asked "what was your daddy like?" I just sat there in silence for what felt like forever trying to process what he had just asked me. I کہا as a single tear ran down my face "he was the best daddy ever!" He asked "why are آپ crying mommy?" I کہا "it's okay to cry." I wiped my tear filled eyes as Carter asked "do آپ have any good stories آپ can tell me about Papa?" I moved the two of us off of the ground and sat down with Carter still on my lap in a really comfortable reclining chair. I کہا "plenty of good stories!" Carter asked "can آپ tell me some of them?" I کہا "of course I will!"

I started سے طرف کی saying "I remember one time when I was almost 3 when your Papa took me to Disneyland right before uncle Prince was born. It was only the سیکنڈ time I ever remember going to Disneyland and I remember that I was scared of Mickey Mouse. I wouldn't let go of your Papa's leg and was screaming at the سب, سب سے اوپر of my lungs! Then he would whisper in my ear and tell me that everything was going to be okay! That he would never let anything happen to me! That there was nothing to be afraid of because he was there to protect me!" I started crying hysterically with Carter still on my lap as I recalled those exact words coming out of my father's mouth.

I moved Carter off of my lap and said" I'm sorry Carter; I can't talk about him anymore! I'll be back in a few minutes. Why don't آپ go watch TV in your room for a while? I'm going to go to my room. Carter کہا "I'm sorry I made آپ cry mommy."

I ran up to our bedroom just as Kyle was getting dressed and collapsed onto the بستر in a mess of emotions that Kyle had never witnessed coming from me before. He lay down اگلے to me and asked "oh my God; what's wrong babe?" I started hyperventilating and forced out of the words "I think – I'm having – a panic – attack!" He کہا "just take deep breaths; calm down!" I کہا "I can't do this without my dad!" Kyle asked "you can't do what without your dad?" I کہا "I can't live life without him!" He کہا "yes آپ can! You've been doing pretty good!" I کہا "he was supposed to be there for all of this! We got married and he wasn't physically there! I'm going to be having another baby and he won't even get to meet Addison! Carter doesn't even know really who his grandfather is; even though I tried so hard to keep his memory alive. I guess I just don't want to let my dad go! I can't be at peace with him being gone! Okay; I admit it! I needed him and I still need him! I JUST WANT MY DADDY; THAT'S ALL I WANT! I JUST WANT HIM TO HOLD ME! I KNOW I'M 21 YEARS OLD; BUT I JUST WANT HIM TO HOLD ME LIKE I'M FIVE YEARS OLD AGAIN AND NEVER LET GO! I don't miss my dad; I MISS MY DADDY! The daddy that tucked me into بستر every night; even when I was a teenager he still did that! The daddy that always told me that he loved me; no matter what I did! The daddy that cut my food for me when I was little! The daddy that tied my shoes for me and then spent hours teaching me how to tie them on my own! The daddy that consoled me when I woke up in the middle of the night because of a bad dream! The daddy that wiped my –." Kyle widened his eyes with an awkward look on his face and کہا "I can see where this is going!" I burst out laughing and کہا "I was going to say nose!" Kyle breathed sigh of relief and کہا "oh thank God!" I کہا as I chuckled "I'm not excluding what آپ thought as a possibility when I was younger he did do that; when I was a toddler! Anyway; my point is that I realized that I don't miss my dad at all! Who I really miss is my daddy! The sad thing is that I pushed my daddy away a long time ago; when he was still alive! He would always try to reconnect with me after I turned into a teenager; but I didn't want to spend any time with him!"

Kyle moved me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me. He کہا "I know that I'll never be as good as Michael was; but I'm not going anywhere! Everything is going to be okay and آپ can do this! We can do this! You're not alone!"

September 22, 2015,

I shook Kyle out of the deep sleep he was in and کہا "it's time Kyle!" He asked as he yawned "time for me to get آپ some مزید food?" I کہا "no; it's time for آپ to take me to the hospital! I woke up a few منٹ پہلے to go to the bathroom and my water broke when I got back into bed."

Kyle immediately jumped out of بستر and کہا "oh my God! What are we going to do with Carter?" I کہا "my brother’s phone number is on speed dial and I already told him to be prepared to come over here and watch Carter if this happened in the middle of the night. Don't worry; I already called him and he's on his way. Actually, I think he just pulled into the driveway.

Kyle did something that I definitely wasn't expecting. He picked me up and cradled me in his arms as he ran out the door. Prince asked as he chuckled "what the heck are آپ carrying AJ for Kyle? Her water broke; she's not paralyzed!" Kyle کہا frantically "there's no time to talk; we're having a baby anytime now!" Kyle practically threw the house keys out of the car window as we sped down the road. Kyle asked "are آپ okay? The baby isn't coming yet is it?" I کہا "don't worry; she's not going anywhere unless I start pushing." Kyle کہا "whatever آپ do; please don't push! I don't want to be another news story about a father her delivers his baby on the side of the road!" I کہا "calm down Kyle; I'm مزید calm than آپ are and I'm in a lot of pain!" He کہا "sorry; I'm just excited and nervous all at once!"

After a nurse took us to a hospital room, we sat there waiting for the doctor to come in. After she arrived, she کہا "oh my God; this baby is going to come out any سیکنڈ now! آپ didn't start pushing yet; did you?" I کہا "no; why?" She کہا "the baby's head in already all the way out! I have a feeling you're only going to need to push once! I was going to offer آپ the epidural; but there's no time!" I کہا as I recalled the tremendous pain I was in from giving birth to Carter without the epidural "I don't want to do this without some sort of numbing medication!" She کہا "you don't really have a choice at this point! We just have to get this baby out as soon as possible! Trust me; it's not going to be as bad as the first time because all آپ need is push a little bit and the baby will be out."

Sure enough, without even really trying; our daughter was brought into this world. Kyle looked over and کہا "she has my hair; she's pretty much bald though.” One of the nurses passed her to Kyle and he started to cry as he looked down at her. He brought her up to me and کہا "here's our little miracle baby! Addison Avery Lester." I took her out of his arms and کہا "I can't believe آپ and I created something so beautiful together!" The Doctor کہا "she seems really healthy; آپ can go ہوم with her today if آپ want to!"

After signing a release form, Kyle and I walked out to his car and he started trying to figure out how to install the car seat. I chuckled as he tangled himself up with the seatbelt in the back نشست and کہا "I thought آپ would've practiced this a few times; before we brought her home!" He کہا "I think I figured it out; go ahead." I buckled her into the car نشست after sitting down اگلے to it and Kyle started the car.

I کہا "I have a feeling that Carter will be sleeping still; سے طرف کی the time we get back to the house. It's 3 o'clock in the morning and I don't think we shouldWake him up." Kyle کہا "Prince must've woken him up because I can see him through the windows in front of the house and he's watching TV."

Kyle walked behind me while he carried the car نشست with Addison inside it. Carter waited patiently while Prince took his niece over to him. Carter held Addison for a lot longer than I expected him to. He کہا "I'm so excited that I'm a big brother!" I کہا "that means you're going to have to help take care of Addison with daddy while I'm on tour starting in a few months. That reminds me of something; Kyle when are آپ going to start decorating Paris's old bedroom into the nursery for Addison?" He کہا "Addison can stay in our room until after آپ leave on tour and that way it can be a surprise for آپ when آپ get home. Trust me; it'll be worth the wait! I'm going to make the most perfect nursery anyone could ever imagine for my little girl! In the meantime, let's appreciate the last four months before آپ leave on your tour because after that I'm going to be taking care of two kids all on my own for nine months straight. Surprisingly, I'm looking آگے to it!"