St. Foalis Maressouri, 6 PM.
A crowd of thousands of ponies gathered at the Gateway Arch to experience a comedy دکھائیں that was being filmed live in 4k. The comedian? Tom Foolery.
Crowd: *Clapping, and chanting* Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
Tom: *Arrives at a temporary stage under the Gateway Arch*
Crowd: *Cheering, as they continue to clap*
Tom: Thank آپ everypony.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: Thank آپ very much.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: And shut up.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Looks above him* Wow. St. Foalis. Never thought I'd end up here, but I'm very glad to be performing for you.
Crowd: Yeah!
Tom: I was getting really tired of social distancing.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: I mean what the fuck is so social about it?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It defeats the whole purpose of being social to everypony آپ meet!
Crowd: Yeah!
Tom: Hello Clyde, get away from me!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: If you're really nervous about getting close to ponies in general, stay in your house.
Crowd: Right!
Tom: Then grab a stool, and some rope, then set your whole house on fire. After all, there is a rumor that heat can kill the coronavirus.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Let's test that theory, shall we?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And while we're at it, let's test out a few مزید things. How many مزید camera's do آپ think the new I-phone can handle?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: اگلے year's model will probably have 30 of them.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Let's see if we can actually get an electric car to charge faster than 3 hours!
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: I am tired of having a nerd with bad eyesight, and bad hygiene coming towards me, and lecturing about how electric cars are better!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I'll begin to listen when آپ can get the battery fully charged as fast as آپ can fill up my car's gasoline tank!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It might come in handy if Tesla considered putting a pantograph on their cars from now on.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Charge the battery while you're driving.
Crowd: Yeah!
Tom: If Amtrak can pull it off, آپ can easily do the same for a car.
A train was then heard running in the background.
Tom: *Looks behind him* Well, look at that. Not exactly Amtrak, but close enough.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I've always wanted to perform live standup comedy, but I never thought I'd do it outside. 95% of آپ will agree with me when I say, thank god it's not raining!
Crowd: *Clapping while cheering*
Tom: A lot of ponies are lecturing others to go outside مزید often, but there are some advantages to being inside, especially when you're alone. There's many things we do while we're alone, but not while we're with other ponies.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Here's one of my personal favorites, running around the house with your underwear on your head, and a whole roll of toilet paper strung around the hallways!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Turning on the heat when it's cold.
Crowd: Yeah!
Tom: My marefriend gets mad at me for that, because she wants to save money.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Here's another thing we only do when we're alone, reading a book, and pretending that it's a movie. آپ do all the different voices for the characters, and mimic the sound effects.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Playing an app on your cell phone, with the volume on.
Crowd: Yeah! *Cheering*
Tom: No one ever has the volume on when they're near another pony!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: One مزید thing we do when no one else is around, watching porn.
Crowd: Yeah!
Tom: Because if you're ever caught سے طرف کی your special somepony, آپ will most likely spend the rest of your life alone.
Crowd: *Laughing*
2 B Continued
For unknown reasons AppleJack wasn't allowed in heaven.
AJ: (to Saten, who is also not allowed in) What are we gonna do!?
Saten: We!? Wow, wow, آپ had your chance to be 'we' for nearly three years now. I give up. I'm done helping آپ AppleJac- (she briefly kisses his cheek).. Alright. I'm in. I'm مزید than happy to help.
AJ: آپ have a plan?
Saten: Yes. But you're have to play close attention, it involves great detail and planning... (punches the guard unconscience, witch is barely a plan at all).
Saten: Alright. We are free to enter. (opens the gate and he and AppleJack go inside).
TO BE CONTAINUED
AJ: (to Saten, who is also not allowed in) What are we gonna do!?
Saten: We!? Wow, wow, آپ had your chance to be 'we' for nearly three years now. I give up. I'm done helping آپ AppleJac- (she briefly kisses his cheek).. Alright. I'm in. I'm مزید than happy to help.
AJ: آپ have a plan?
Saten: Yes. But you're have to play close attention, it involves great detail and planning... (punches the guard unconscience, witch is barely a plan at all).
Saten: Alright. We are free to enter. (opens the gate and he and AppleJack go inside).
TO BE CONTAINUED
Derpy: (flying home)
Master Sword: (runs over to her, and ends up asking her on a date).
Derpy: Uhh... Sure, I don't see why no- (suddenly gets shot in the arm, though it's only a flesh wound).
Master Sword: (holding handgun) That's great! I'm so damn happy!!
Derpy: (holding arm, and looking mad at him) WHY THE HELL DID آپ SHOOT ME!?
Master Sword: Because I'm a weird, creepy, green guy.
Derpy: Your an idiot!
Master Sword: (proudly) Yes! But I'm YOUR idiot!
Not much of an chapter.. But it's I have for now..
Please leave reviews and all that jazz ;)
Master Sword: (runs over to her, and ends up asking her on a date).
Derpy: Uhh... Sure, I don't see why no- (suddenly gets shot in the arm, though it's only a flesh wound).
Master Sword: (holding handgun) That's great! I'm so damn happy!!
Derpy: (holding arm, and looking mad at him) WHY THE HELL DID آپ SHOOT ME!?
Master Sword: Because I'm a weird, creepy, green guy.
Derpy: Your an idiot!
Master Sword: (proudly) Yes! But I'm YOUR idiot!
Not much of an chapter.. But it's I have for now..
Please leave reviews and all that jazz ;)