My Little ٹٹو Friendship is Magic Club
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


St. Foalis Maressouri, 6 PM.

A crowd of thousands of ponies gathered at the Gateway Arch to experience a comedy دکھائیں that was being filmed live in 4k. The comedian? Tom Foolery.

Crowd: *Clapping, and chanting* Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
Tom: *Arrives at a temporary stage under the Gateway Arch*
Crowd: *Cheering, as they continue to clap*
Tom: Thank آپ everypony.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: Thank آپ very much.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: And shut up.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Looks above him* Wow. St. Foalis. Never thought I'd end up here, but I'm very glad to be performing for you.
Crowd: Yeah!
Tom: I was getting really tired of social distancing.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: I mean what the fuck is so social about it?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It defeats the whole purpose of being social to everypony آپ meet!
Crowd: Yeah!
Tom: Hello Clyde, get away from me!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: If you're really nervous about getting close to ponies in general, stay in your house.
Crowd: Right!
Tom: Then grab a stool, and some rope, then set your whole house on fire. After all, there is a rumor that heat can kill the coronavirus.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Let's test that theory, shall we?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And while we're at it, let's test out a few مزید things. How many مزید camera's do آپ think the new I-phone can handle?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: اگلے year's model will probably have 30 of them.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Let's see if we can actually get an electric car to charge faster than 3 hours!
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: I am tired of having a nerd with bad eyesight, and bad hygiene coming towards me, and lecturing about how electric cars are better!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I'll begin to listen when آپ can get the battery fully charged as fast as آپ can fill up my car's gasoline tank!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It might come in handy if Tesla considered putting a pantograph on their cars from now on.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Charge the battery while you're driving.
Crowd: Yeah!
Tom: If Amtrak can pull it off, آپ can easily do the same for a car.

A train was then heard running in the background.

Tom: *Looks behind him* Well, look at that. Not exactly Amtrak, but close enough.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I've always wanted to perform live standup comedy, but I never thought I'd do it outside. 95% of آپ will agree with me when I say, thank god it's not raining!
Crowd: *Clapping while cheering*
Tom: A lot of ponies are lecturing others to go outside مزید often, but there are some advantages to being inside, especially when you're alone. There's many things we do while we're alone, but not while we're with other ponies.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Here's one of my personal favorites, running around the house with your underwear on your head, and a whole roll of toilet paper strung around the hallways!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Turning on the heat when it's cold.
Crowd: Yeah!
Tom: My marefriend gets mad at me for that, because she wants to save money.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Here's another thing we only do when we're alone, reading a book, and pretending that it's a movie. آپ do all the different voices for the characters, and mimic the sound effects.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Playing an app on your cell phone, with the volume on.
Crowd: Yeah! *Cheering*
Tom: No one ever has the volume on when they're near another pony!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: One مزید thing we do when no one else is around, watching porn.
Crowd: Yeah!
Tom: Because if you're ever caught سے طرف کی your special somepony, آپ will most likely spend the rest of your life alone.
Crowd: *Laughing*

2 B Continued
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Coffee Creme was driving her train up Sherman Hill, and Mirage still had his engine pushing from behind.

Conductor: *Still drunk, and looks out the back of his caboose* Wait a minute. *Sees Mirage's engine* Why is that engine pushing the train?! It's supposed to be on the front of the train, not the back! *Walks out of caboose, and gets onto Mirage's engine*
Mirage: *Sees conductor* What is he doing on my engine?
Conductor: *Walks into cab* آپ sir are doing your job wrong!
Mirage: What are آپ talking about? I'm supposed to push this train up the hill, to help Coffee Creme.
Conductor: Don't...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Jeff got back to Ponyville after killing Princess Cadence, and Shining Armor. He was waiting at the سب, سب سے اوپر of his army's HQ with Twilight. They were waiting for Dr. Robotnik to arrive.

Jeff: I'm looking آگے to ending this war.
Twilight: Me too man. Me too.
Jeff: When do we kill him?
Twilight: We? Let me do all the talking.

Song: link

Robotnik: *Enters room*
Twilight: *Shoots Jeff's horn off*
Jeff: Ah! *Falls on floor*
Twilight: *Looks at Robotnik* What do آپ want me to do Doctor?
Robotnik: آپ have forgotten your place Princess Twilight Sparkle, سے طرف کی having your own... Student. Instead of teaching...
continue reading...
I was sitting in a room with Con, and his boss, P.

Sean: What can I help آپ with?
Con: Discord. Remember the prison your army put him in?
Sean: Yes. What happened?
P: He was being transferred to a different prison, but escaped.
Sean: Where is he?
Con: We're not entirely sure yet.

Meanwhile, in Mexico.

Discord: Wait here. This won't take long.
Italian Pony: Yes sir.
Discord: *Walks into Mexican military base*
Mexican ٹٹو 33: Halt!
Discord: Relax. I am unarmed. I request permission to speak to your boss.
Mexican ٹٹو 33: Very well. *Grabs walkie talkie* General, آپ have a visitor.
Mexican General:...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Jeff was soon sitting اگلے to the judge.

Judge: It appears that everypony is saying آپ were in Cheyenne when Gordon took charge on the دن February 20, 1954.
Jeff: Yes, I was there.
Judge: What did آپ think of Gordon's actions when he told آپ to take the rails apart, and fix them again?
Coffee Creme: Objection.
Hawkeye: آپ can't object to what the judge says!
Judge: Thank you. Now Jeff, if آپ will please answer my question.
Jeff: I was very surprised, and upset سے طرف کی what Gordon wanted me to do.
Judge: When آپ say surprised, do آپ mean like an angry kind of surprised, یا just surprised?
Jeff:...
continue reading...
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor, deviantart
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by tinkerbell66799
Source: Original Owners
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, google تصاویر
posted by Seanthehedgehog
After shoveling مزید coal into the firebox, Hawkeye got the freight cars moving.

Hawkeye: Now this is مزید like it. *sits back*
Red Rose: *Looking at train* You're going a little too fast.
Hawkeye: *gently applies brakes*
Worker: *Uncouples chemical car* Wait a minute. That chemical car is going too fast! *Chasing chemical car*
Red Rose: Attention, we have a out of control chemical car in the yard.
Hawkeye: *Stops train* Ugh. I hope this never happens again.
Worker: *Jumps on car* Ok, now to apply the brakes *Breaks brake* AAAHH!! *Goes to alternative brakes* This car must stop *Applying alternative...
continue reading...
In Ponyville at the ٹٹو Alliance Headquarters.

Big Mac: Twilight Sparkle has been reported in the Griffon Kingdom. We have also found out that the enemy is building a space station called the Death Egg. We need two volunteers to lead one of the groups going into battle, and in which territory.
Rarity: I'll lead the attack on the Death Egg.
Big Mac: Anyone going with Rarity, please say so.
Pinkie Pie: I'm going.
Fluttershy: Me too.
Shredder: And me.
Big Mac: And now, do we have any volunteers for the attack in the Griffon Kingdom?
Sean: Me.
Big Mac: Anyone joining Sean's group may say so.
Bonbon:...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Louis soon saw Orion walk into the office.

Louis: ارے you. Are آپ Orion?
Orion: Yeah, what do آپ want?
Louis: I want to talk to you.
Orion: About what?
Louis: What آپ just did.
Orion: Oh boy! Am I going to get fired?! Please آگ کے, آگ me!
Louis: I don't work for the Union Pacific, so I can't آگ کے, آگ you.
Orion: Oh, well then I'm outta here. *Leaves*
Louis: Orion!
Orion: *Running, jumps off platform, and flies*
Louis: *Flies after Orion*
Orion: *Going high*
Louis: Oh jeez.
Orion: *Flying very fast at very high altitude* Haha!
Louis: I'm not that good at flying.
Orion: Now, which city am I currently flying...
continue reading...