Some of the characters from POM are in a group therapy room and I'm the therapist.
Me: Glad to see everyone here. Who'd like to begin?
P: Well, i'd like to say that I've stopped hanging around with Mort and I haven't touched a مونگفلی, مونگ پھلی مکھن winky since June 3rd. (the others clap)
Me: 3 weeks sober. Impressive. How does it feel?
P: Well, there has been constant RINGING IN MY EARS and it feels as though my body is devouring itself from the inside! (getting ready to slap himself in the face)
K: Be strong, young Private. I know what it's like to be addictive to enjoyment.
KJ: (muttering) Psychotic scientist.
K: (yelling) WHAT DID آپ SAY?
Me: Alright, settle down.
K: (strangling Julien) SAY IT TO MY FACE, LEMUR!!
Me: Speaking of which, Kowalski, have آپ tried to persuade yourself to occupy your time in a way that didn't involve any of your science experiments?
K: Well, I did a word search.
Me: And?
K: (shamefully) I ended up teleporting myself into the word search.
Me: Then, it's time آپ should try to find some time to get out of the lab. (Phil does some sign language)
Mason: Phil is saying, "Kowalski, I don't see why آپ don't just make your scientific obsession useful سے طرف کی taking care of the world's neat freaks?" (slaps Phil upside the head) Keep it up, Scary Stinkzilla!
R: (translated) THAT'S the kind of attitude that encourages those to fear me and treat me like a freak!
Me: How does that make آپ feel?
R: Ashamed, alone and an outcast. It's like they're the most crazed Lenards in the world. (yelling to the back corner) No offense.
Lenard: (from back corner) NONE TAKEN!
KJ: Either that, یا you're just the most oblivious, psychoticest, mental پینگوئن, پیںگان ever.
Me: Julien, you're out of line!
KJ: That's KING Julien!
K: (sarcastically) Yea, like آپ REALLY have royal blood in you. And I should know, I checked Julien's blood while he was sleeping.
P: Ewww! And, also, I need a hit.
Becky: Looks like someone's...
Stacy: ... off the wagon!
Me: Becky, Stacy, we talked about gaining up on others. آپ girls need to find your own individual voices.
S: What the hell is up with آپ girls, anyway?
Me: Skipper, آپ look awfully bitter.
S: I haven't been myself lately.
Me: Is your girlfriend's moble bipolar disorder still causing problems in your relationship?
Marlene: (partially outside of the zoo) Why I outta pounce on you, Skipper and... (partially in the zoo) snuggle you.
P: Well, it could be worse. آپ could be one of the gorillas.
Bada: Ey, yo, Bing, آپ ain't gonna shove me.
Bing: I ain't shovin' you, Bada. (they end up fighting)
Me: And, Maurice, how are the pain relief pills for your back working out?
Maurice: They're doing alright. (sits up and his back cracks) OWW!
Mort: (walks out of a closet with a lot of sugar) HEY! LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED! (eats all the sugar) OH, FIND THE FEET!
KJ: Don't touch the FEET! (kicks Mort out of the window)
Roger: I want my money back.
Me: Glad to see everyone here. Who'd like to begin?
P: Well, i'd like to say that I've stopped hanging around with Mort and I haven't touched a مونگفلی, مونگ پھلی مکھن winky since June 3rd. (the others clap)
Me: 3 weeks sober. Impressive. How does it feel?
P: Well, there has been constant RINGING IN MY EARS and it feels as though my body is devouring itself from the inside! (getting ready to slap himself in the face)
K: Be strong, young Private. I know what it's like to be addictive to enjoyment.
KJ: (muttering) Psychotic scientist.
K: (yelling) WHAT DID آپ SAY?
Me: Alright, settle down.
K: (strangling Julien) SAY IT TO MY FACE, LEMUR!!
Me: Speaking of which, Kowalski, have آپ tried to persuade yourself to occupy your time in a way that didn't involve any of your science experiments?
K: Well, I did a word search.
Me: And?
K: (shamefully) I ended up teleporting myself into the word search.
Me: Then, it's time آپ should try to find some time to get out of the lab. (Phil does some sign language)
Mason: Phil is saying, "Kowalski, I don't see why آپ don't just make your scientific obsession useful سے طرف کی taking care of the world's neat freaks?" (slaps Phil upside the head) Keep it up, Scary Stinkzilla!
R: (translated) THAT'S the kind of attitude that encourages those to fear me and treat me like a freak!
Me: How does that make آپ feel?
R: Ashamed, alone and an outcast. It's like they're the most crazed Lenards in the world. (yelling to the back corner) No offense.
Lenard: (from back corner) NONE TAKEN!
KJ: Either that, یا you're just the most oblivious, psychoticest, mental پینگوئن, پیںگان ever.
Me: Julien, you're out of line!
KJ: That's KING Julien!
K: (sarcastically) Yea, like آپ REALLY have royal blood in you. And I should know, I checked Julien's blood while he was sleeping.
P: Ewww! And, also, I need a hit.
Becky: Looks like someone's...
Stacy: ... off the wagon!
Me: Becky, Stacy, we talked about gaining up on others. آپ girls need to find your own individual voices.
S: What the hell is up with آپ girls, anyway?
Me: Skipper, آپ look awfully bitter.
S: I haven't been myself lately.
Me: Is your girlfriend's moble bipolar disorder still causing problems in your relationship?
Marlene: (partially outside of the zoo) Why I outta pounce on you, Skipper and... (partially in the zoo) snuggle you.
P: Well, it could be worse. آپ could be one of the gorillas.
Bada: Ey, yo, Bing, آپ ain't gonna shove me.
Bing: I ain't shovin' you, Bada. (they end up fighting)
Me: And, Maurice, how are the pain relief pills for your back working out?
Maurice: They're doing alright. (sits up and his back cracks) OWW!
Mort: (walks out of a closet with a lot of sugar) HEY! LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED! (eats all the sugar) OH, FIND THE FEET!
KJ: Don't touch the FEET! (kicks Mort out of the window)
Roger: I want my money back.
HIIIIII!!!!!!!!!! I'm writing an paparazzi scene with Kowalski as he being the winner of Zoo Idol. Enjoy!
"Kowalski?" Skipper asked. "Why is there a big crowd of fangirls outside our home?"
"Uhhhh......" Kowalski replied. "That might be
because I won Zoo Idol."
Skipper was shocked. "Why did آپ enter that competition???"
"Because a ton of people think I have a good tenor voice and wanted me to enter."
"KOWALSKI!!!!" Skipper yelled.
"Ooh. They want me to sign autographs. And one fangirl is Doris!!!! I'M COMING DORIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Skipper groaned.
"Skipper? Why are there girls screaming outside our house?" Private asked.
"Ask Kowalski."
"Kowalski?" Skipper asked. "Why is there a big crowd of fangirls outside our home?"
"Uhhhh......" Kowalski replied. "That might be
because I won Zoo Idol."
Skipper was shocked. "Why did آپ enter that competition???"
"Because a ton of people think I have a good tenor voice and wanted me to enter."
"KOWALSKI!!!!" Skipper yelled.
"Ooh. They want me to sign autographs. And one fangirl is Doris!!!! I'M COMING DORIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Skipper groaned.
"Skipper? Why are there girls screaming outside our house?" Private asked.
"Ask Kowalski."