Attention: ole-plays are made to oblige to the other person you're writing with since it is a partnership deal, not to be a well-constructed story یا a spot-on characterization of the characters.
In other words, it's best to not take this seriously, especially not like my other serious self-works. And if people like this, then they like it. If آپ don't, then this isn't the page to تبصرہ so - since improvement یا change is not wanted, therefore your تبصرہ will be ineffective. This is just here because it's here, and I am not the only owner of this, so if she feels she needs to, she will...
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