FUCK IT ?!

So I've decided to make a فہرست of all the dumb/interesting/funny things I hear during my day. Feel free to add your own in the comments. If I like 'em, I'll add 'em!
1. "I'm almost a stud. I have the STD, now all I need is U." -Vernon
2. "Does anyone know where Augustus is?"
"Massachussetts!" -Teacher and Chyanne
3. *wrong answer*
"You are the worst nerd ever." -Michael
4. "Twelve!"
"Um, this is multiple choice." -Jasper and Teacher
5. "Can-"
"SPARKLY HEADBAND!" -Teacher and Madison
6. "Am I being bitchy today? I'm being bitchy today. I'm sorry I'm bitching today." -Summer
7. "You can't give me an F....

Eliza and Carrie
By: moolah

[First time I wrote using the wordpad on my computer)

A young girl named Eliza was shopping with her best friend, Anne one day, when her best friend from Kindergarden walked past her. Eliza just happened to look up at the new old best friend, Carrie who looked very unhappy. She had a little girl on her hip and bags under her eyes. Eliza gave a sigh of releif as Carrie's toddler started to scream. And she went back to shopping. Eliza knew she was greatful for everything god had دیا her and Carrie wasn't. Unlike Eliza who had made a wise decision not to drink when she...