~Yahoo Answers~
Wind: Yahoo
Yahoo: Yes, my child
Wind: What is the meaning of life
Yahoo: The meaning of life, my child, is… Pie
Wind: …… What?
Yahoo: No, wait, it’s 21. No, wait, it’s 69. No, it’s god. No, it’s family. No, it’s spreading your seed across the world. No, it’s (Continues spouting random answers)
Wind: Uh…. I’m just….. Just gonna go
Yahoo: میز, جدول tennis. سوفی, لٹانا cushion. AM Radio. Charlie Sheen.
~Instagram~
Wind: (Sitting on park bench)
Instagram: (Takes picture of tree) (Takes picture of bird) (Takes picture of crack on the sidewalk)
Wind: Will آپ stop that-
Instagram: (Takes picture of Wind)
Child: (Walks by)
Instagram: (Follows the kid to take pictures of him)
Child: … (Walks faster)
Instagram: (Keeps taking pictures)
Child: (Runs) HELP! PEDO ALERT
Instagram: (Posts picture of the child online) (Types words) Youth is wasted on the young
Comment: YOU’RE A FUCKING FAGGOT!
~Kissanime~
Kissanime: Hello, young child
Wind: I’m seventeen
Kissanime: Would آپ like to go on an adventure where there are fantastical worlds
Wind: Yeah
Kissanime: Magnificent creatures
Wind: Yeah
Kissanime: Giant, gravity-defying boobs bouncing about
Wind: Uh
Kissanime: Then, come and take my hand
Wind: (Takes his hand)
Kissanime: Now, let’s… Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Message: Kissanime is currently out of order… again… for the twentieth time
~DeviantArt~
Wind: آپ know… I wonder what amazing fanart I can find about some Legend of Zelda (Types Legend of Zelda pictures only to find a pregnant Link) Well, I’m not angry (Reaches into medicine cabinet) I mean, it isn’t that bad (Takes bottle labeled Suicide Pills) It’s not that bad (Starts to unscrew bottle) …. Okay, it’s just one picture. I’m sure there are many great pictures that- (Finds a picture of Zelda blown up like a balloon) Nope. All hope is lost (Swallows every pill in the bottle and starts foaming at the mouth)
~The Pirate Bay~
Wind: (Tries to eat a bowl of cereal)
Pirate Bay: (Hits Wind over the head with a bat, knocking him unconscious) Quick, grab everything
Limewire: (Starts stuffing things into a sack)
~Vine~
Wind: Hold on (Looks around decrepit projects) This isn’t my neighborhood
Black Man: Nigga, آپ trippin’
Wind: Uh… what?
Black Man: Shit man, look over there (Points at a violent fight)
Wind: Jesus fucking christ, what’s going on
Black Man: Nigga, آپ ain’t seeing th-
Message: (Six سیکنڈ are up)
~Reddit~
Wind: There. گیا کیا پوسٹ a picture of me with my grandma. That’s pretty sweet
Reddit: (Scoffs)
Wind: What?
Reddit: You’re so unoriginal. Everyone posts pictures with their grandma. Could آپ be anymore unoriginal
Wind: I just گیا کیا پوسٹ a pic-
Reddit: I bet آپ failed school. That’s why you’re doing this. And that’s saying a lot. I never go to school. Too busy being successful, unlike آپ (Reaches into his pocket and bites into a sloppy Big Mac) آپ fucking retard
~Craigslist~
Craigslist: Hello, would آپ like to meet in person
Wind: Uh
Craigslist: I’m not a serial rapist… Swear to god. Swear on my mom who is totally not buried underneath the boards of my house
Wind: ….. Sure, why not
Craigslist: Great. Meet me right behind the old slaughterhouse. The one where no one can hear آپ scream at around 11:30 PM
Wind: Seems legit
~Google+~
Wind: Wow, I do like this Youtube stuff. Being able to talk to others, not dealing with crappy recommendations, and not having to worry about bullshit copyright.
Google+: (Kicks the door down) ارے آپ (Disables the تبصرے and deletes videos) (Walks over and slaps Wind hard across the face, printing Google+ across his face) WATCH PEWDIEPIE
Wind: But I don’t like Pewdiepie
Google+: TOO FUCKING BAD (Slaps him again)
~Grindr~
Grindr: (Wearing nothing but tight shorts as he holds Wind close)
Wind: The sad thing. This is the only nice website I’ve come across
~Steam~
Wind: Look at all these games that were released on greenlight. Slaughtering Grounds, Air Control, Kill the fucking Fags?! I bet Gabe Newell is ashamed of himself
(Meanwhile, at Valve Corporations)
Gabe: (Showering in money) YES! FEED MONEY TO THE GREAT LORD GABEN!
~Pornhub~
Wind: Oh god, it’s everywhere
~Youporn~
Wind: It’s fucking everywhere
~RedTube~
Wind: It’s so fucking sticky
~Bonga Cams~
Wind: It’s all white and sticky
~xHamster~
Wind: I think I just contracted a disease from all this seaman
~Myspace~
Myspace: Spare change… Spare change… Help a brother out……. Please, no one recognizes me anymore and I’m dying of hunger. Can someone please at least acknowledge I exist………………….
Comment: آپ FUCKING SUCK
Myspace: …………. I know
Wind: Yahoo
Yahoo: Yes, my child
Wind: What is the meaning of life
Yahoo: The meaning of life, my child, is… Pie
Wind: …… What?
Yahoo: No, wait, it’s 21. No, wait, it’s 69. No, it’s god. No, it’s family. No, it’s spreading your seed across the world. No, it’s (Continues spouting random answers)
Wind: Uh…. I’m just….. Just gonna go
Yahoo: میز, جدول tennis. سوفی, لٹانا cushion. AM Radio. Charlie Sheen.
~Instagram~
Wind: (Sitting on park bench)
Instagram: (Takes picture of tree) (Takes picture of bird) (Takes picture of crack on the sidewalk)
Wind: Will آپ stop that-
Instagram: (Takes picture of Wind)
Child: (Walks by)
Instagram: (Follows the kid to take pictures of him)
Child: … (Walks faster)
Instagram: (Keeps taking pictures)
Child: (Runs) HELP! PEDO ALERT
Instagram: (Posts picture of the child online) (Types words) Youth is wasted on the young
Comment: YOU’RE A FUCKING FAGGOT!
~Kissanime~
Kissanime: Hello, young child
Wind: I’m seventeen
Kissanime: Would آپ like to go on an adventure where there are fantastical worlds
Wind: Yeah
Kissanime: Magnificent creatures
Wind: Yeah
Kissanime: Giant, gravity-defying boobs bouncing about
Wind: Uh
Kissanime: Then, come and take my hand
Wind: (Takes his hand)
Kissanime: Now, let’s… Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Message: Kissanime is currently out of order… again… for the twentieth time
~DeviantArt~
Wind: آپ know… I wonder what amazing fanart I can find about some Legend of Zelda (Types Legend of Zelda pictures only to find a pregnant Link) Well, I’m not angry (Reaches into medicine cabinet) I mean, it isn’t that bad (Takes bottle labeled Suicide Pills) It’s not that bad (Starts to unscrew bottle) …. Okay, it’s just one picture. I’m sure there are many great pictures that- (Finds a picture of Zelda blown up like a balloon) Nope. All hope is lost (Swallows every pill in the bottle and starts foaming at the mouth)
~The Pirate Bay~
Wind: (Tries to eat a bowl of cereal)
Pirate Bay: (Hits Wind over the head with a bat, knocking him unconscious) Quick, grab everything
Limewire: (Starts stuffing things into a sack)
~Vine~
Wind: Hold on (Looks around decrepit projects) This isn’t my neighborhood
Black Man: Nigga, آپ trippin’
Wind: Uh… what?
Black Man: Shit man, look over there (Points at a violent fight)
Wind: Jesus fucking christ, what’s going on
Black Man: Nigga, آپ ain’t seeing th-
Message: (Six سیکنڈ are up)
~Reddit~
Wind: There. گیا کیا پوسٹ a picture of me with my grandma. That’s pretty sweet
Reddit: (Scoffs)
Wind: What?
Reddit: You’re so unoriginal. Everyone posts pictures with their grandma. Could آپ be anymore unoriginal
Wind: I just گیا کیا پوسٹ a pic-
Reddit: I bet آپ failed school. That’s why you’re doing this. And that’s saying a lot. I never go to school. Too busy being successful, unlike آپ (Reaches into his pocket and bites into a sloppy Big Mac) آپ fucking retard
~Craigslist~
Craigslist: Hello, would آپ like to meet in person
Wind: Uh
Craigslist: I’m not a serial rapist… Swear to god. Swear on my mom who is totally not buried underneath the boards of my house
Wind: ….. Sure, why not
Craigslist: Great. Meet me right behind the old slaughterhouse. The one where no one can hear آپ scream at around 11:30 PM
Wind: Seems legit
~Google+~
Wind: Wow, I do like this Youtube stuff. Being able to talk to others, not dealing with crappy recommendations, and not having to worry about bullshit copyright.
Google+: (Kicks the door down) ارے آپ (Disables the تبصرے and deletes videos) (Walks over and slaps Wind hard across the face, printing Google+ across his face) WATCH PEWDIEPIE
Wind: But I don’t like Pewdiepie
Google+: TOO FUCKING BAD (Slaps him again)
~Grindr~
Grindr: (Wearing nothing but tight shorts as he holds Wind close)
Wind: The sad thing. This is the only nice website I’ve come across
~Steam~
Wind: Look at all these games that were released on greenlight. Slaughtering Grounds, Air Control, Kill the fucking Fags?! I bet Gabe Newell is ashamed of himself
(Meanwhile, at Valve Corporations)
Gabe: (Showering in money) YES! FEED MONEY TO THE GREAT LORD GABEN!
~Pornhub~
Wind: Oh god, it’s everywhere
~Youporn~
Wind: It’s fucking everywhere
~RedTube~
Wind: It’s so fucking sticky
~Bonga Cams~
Wind: It’s all white and sticky
~xHamster~
Wind: I think I just contracted a disease from all this seaman
~Myspace~
Myspace: Spare change… Spare change… Help a brother out……. Please, no one recognizes me anymore and I’m dying of hunger. Can someone please at least acknowledge I exist………………….
Comment: آپ FUCKING SUCK
Myspace: …………. I know
Tingle: Oh, hello aga-
Link: GIVE ME THE FUCKING MAP
Tinge: Well, lets see (Counts bag of rupees) Well, it seems to be about right. Here is your map
Link: GREAT! HOW MUCH MAPS DO I NEED LEFT
Tingle: Hmm...... About four
Link: THANK آپ (Leaves)
King of Red Lions: So, where is the اگلے Triforce shard
Link: ON SOME STUPID ISLAND
King of Red Lions: Then let us be off
Link: GOOD IDEA
King of Red Lions: ......Um...... Why are آپ still yelling. You've been doing that ever since we left the Wind Temple
Link: I TOLD YOU! I'M REALLY FUCKING PISSED
King of Red Lions: Oh right
TO BE CONTINUED
Link: GIVE ME THE FUCKING MAP
Tinge: Well, lets see (Counts bag of rupees) Well, it seems to be about right. Here is your map
Link: GREAT! HOW MUCH MAPS DO I NEED LEFT
Tingle: Hmm...... About four
Link: THANK آپ (Leaves)
King of Red Lions: So, where is the اگلے Triforce shard
Link: ON SOME STUPID ISLAND
King of Red Lions: Then let us be off
Link: GOOD IDEA
King of Red Lions: ......Um...... Why are آپ still yelling. You've been doing that ever since we left the Wind Temple
Link: I TOLD YOU! I'M REALLY FUCKING PISSED
King of Red Lions: Oh right
TO BE CONTINUED