Wind: (Sits in Cody’s house) Why did we come here again
Cody: Because Pigs comes on. آپ know how much I love that show. A bunch of cops running around and arresting people. It’s awesome
Wind: If that’s the case, why can’t we just go down town. Plenty of blacks get arrested all the time down there.
(An ad airs on TV)
Speaker: Hey, I’m the lovable McCharles, and I got a great deal for آپ all. The new burger, the Sheer دل Attack. This burger is made of so much meat, it could feed an entire starving African family. So, come on down while supplies last. Only at McCharles
Cody: Oh, that looks awesome
Wind: Come on. That’s just about the same thing آپ can get at Burger Empire and Widow’s and سٹیک n’ Quake. Pretty much any major burger restaurant, really
Cody: I don’t know, Wind. That Sheer دل Attack looks delicious.
Wind: Watch. سے طرف کی tomorrow, it will probably just be a little footnote on McCharles already giant menu.
News Anchor: Yes, as it turns out, McCharles Sheer دل Attack is the talk of the entire country, already selling billions of burgers to half the population. Lines have been set up around every McCharles in the entire country. It’s almost as if we are experiencing something like Beatlemania. Perhaps, McCharles-Mania.
Wind: (Watching TV) Fuck you! Some random سینڈوچ covered in fat and grease is nothing compared to the Beatles!
Hannah: (Knocks on Wind’s door)
Wind: (Opens the door) What do آپ want, Hannah?
Hannah: Have آپ seen this
Wind: What, idiots falling for some marketing on a restaurant again
Hannah: Yes, it’s sick that people would eat all this meat
Wind: I don’t care what آپ eat. Just don’t get sucked into something so stupid that clearly is made to take your money
Hannah: …. So آپ don’t care about the weight problem in this country
Wind: I’m مزید worried about the idiot problem
Hannah: Come on. People aren’t that stupid. What’s the worst people could possibly do?
News Anchor: This just in. It appears that states Oregon, Alabama, Texas, Washington, Pennsylvania, California, and New Jersey have all run out of Sheer دل Attack. Riots have broken out in almost every McCharles in those states, and people have been moving across the country, just to get a single bite of Sheer دل Attack.
(Walks with Wind inside of a Kruger’s)
Hannah: Okay, so maybe people do act a little stupid
Wind: (Pushing shopping cart, full of bottled water and canned food) Yeah, told you
Hannah: What are آپ doing?
Wind: I’m buying supplies for when the world goes to shit
Hannah: Okay, now I know you’re being overdramatic
Wind: I proved آپ wrong before, I can do it again. Now come and help me get sleeping bags. I hear that Kruger’s slashed the prices on those.
News Anchor: The shortage on Sheer دل Attack has begun to spread throughout the country. Only three states seem to have Sheer دل Attack, and people have resorted to violence in order to obtain a piece of the Sheer دل Attack. Could this be the end of civilization as we know it? And all over a single burger? And is it worth it? To all those questions… Yes. Yes it is.
Wind: (Hiding inside his house, with bottled water, canned food, sleeping bags, a BB gun, and a radio) (Looks out his window through the curtains)
Cody: (Knocks on the window) Wind, let me in
Wind: It’s every man for himself. Fuck off
Cody: Please, آپ gotta save me. I promise, I won’t be a bother
Wind: How can I trust you
Cody: …. I got 20 bucks
Wind: ………… (Opens the door) Okay, come in
Cody: Thanks (Walks in) Hope آپ don’t mind I brought James
Wind: What?
James: Sorry, but this was the safest place
Wind: Fine…. Give me $20 and آپ can stay
Hannah: (Knocks on Wind’s door) Wind, open the door
Wind: Can’t. I got enough people in already
Cody: No آپ don’t. آپ only got me and James
(Wind hits Cody in the back of the head)
Hannah: Please Wind, let me in
Wind: Fine. Admit I was right and I will
Hannah: ……. Really?
Wind: Yep
Hannah: Okay, fine. آپ were right and I was wrong. Can I come in now
Wind: (Opens the door) Told آپ so
Hannah: (Walks in) …. What’s this (Looks at the empty food cans and water bottles)
Wind: Well (Looks at Cody and James) there were complications
Cody: Come on. I have a huge stomach
Wind: So, we were planning on heading to a new location
Hannah: Don’t آپ have anything
Wind: I bought this (Holds up a riot shotgun and points it at her)
Hannah: Hey, watch where آپ point that thing! Where did آپ get that
Wind: Well, I bought a bottle of whisky, and I found this one homeless man, and I made a trade with him.
Hannah: How did a homeless man get a shotgun
Wind: Let’s just say the 2nd amendment goes very far. Now, let’s go and get some مزید supplies. We’ll just rob a Mall-Mart, and take what we can from there. Sound good
Cody: Maybe we can actually get a TV
James: And maybe some real food. Like taco’s
Cody: Yeah, can we stop at a ٹیکو Tower on the way
Wind: No fast food, understand
Cody: Fine
(They all walk over to a small car and get in)
Wind: I’ll drive
(Hannah shoves him into the passenger seat)
Hannah: No, I’ll drive
(As she starts the car, a band of raiders drives down the road in a heavily armored truck)
Raider: (Sniffs the air) I smell Sheer دل Attack!
(They drive towards the car)
Wind: Which one of آپ fucks has that damn hamburger
Cody: …… I couldn’t help it (Takes a Sheer دل Attack in a wrapper out of his pocket)
Hannah: Eww. آپ kept that in your pocket for a week?!
Wind: آپ stupid fuck
Cody: I couldn’t help it. It was so good
(The raiders get closer)
Wind: Hannah, drive
(Hannah steps on the gas and drives down the road as the raiders chase them)
Wind: I’m so glad I traded that whisky for this (Holds the shotgun up) James! (Tosses a pen to him) Use this
James: What am I supposed to do with a pen?
Wind: Improvise (Hangs out of the window and shoots at the truck)
(The raiders swerve to avoid the bullets)
(Two raiders jump onto the car)
James: (Screams in fear) (Takes the pen and stabs the raiders hands, making them fall off the car and onto the road)
Wind: (Shoots the truck tire, causing the truck to crash)
Wind: We did it! We got them
Hannah: Great! Now we just head to Mall-Mart (They turn the corner to the Mall-Mart, only to stop)
Wind: What the fuck?!
(They see that the entire parking lot is filled with calm civilians)
Wind: (Pokes his head out and talks to one of the civilians) Hey, what happened? Why did everyone just come back?
Civilian: Oh, as it turns out, the McCharles CEO confessed that Sheer دل Attack was just a regular burger, and just lied about it being a special burger. Some people still don’t know. Know they’re just dressed as raiders and driving in armored cars. They should go back to normal in a few days
Wind: …… (Falls back in his car seat, giving an annoyed sigh)
Cody: …….. So does this mean we can go to ٹیکو Tower?
Cody: Because Pigs comes on. آپ know how much I love that show. A bunch of cops running around and arresting people. It’s awesome
Wind: If that’s the case, why can’t we just go down town. Plenty of blacks get arrested all the time down there.
(An ad airs on TV)
Speaker: Hey, I’m the lovable McCharles, and I got a great deal for آپ all. The new burger, the Sheer دل Attack. This burger is made of so much meat, it could feed an entire starving African family. So, come on down while supplies last. Only at McCharles
Cody: Oh, that looks awesome
Wind: Come on. That’s just about the same thing آپ can get at Burger Empire and Widow’s and سٹیک n’ Quake. Pretty much any major burger restaurant, really
Cody: I don’t know, Wind. That Sheer دل Attack looks delicious.
Wind: Watch. سے طرف کی tomorrow, it will probably just be a little footnote on McCharles already giant menu.
News Anchor: Yes, as it turns out, McCharles Sheer دل Attack is the talk of the entire country, already selling billions of burgers to half the population. Lines have been set up around every McCharles in the entire country. It’s almost as if we are experiencing something like Beatlemania. Perhaps, McCharles-Mania.
Wind: (Watching TV) Fuck you! Some random سینڈوچ covered in fat and grease is nothing compared to the Beatles!
Hannah: (Knocks on Wind’s door)
Wind: (Opens the door) What do آپ want, Hannah?
Hannah: Have آپ seen this
Wind: What, idiots falling for some marketing on a restaurant again
Hannah: Yes, it’s sick that people would eat all this meat
Wind: I don’t care what آپ eat. Just don’t get sucked into something so stupid that clearly is made to take your money
Hannah: …. So آپ don’t care about the weight problem in this country
Wind: I’m مزید worried about the idiot problem
Hannah: Come on. People aren’t that stupid. What’s the worst people could possibly do?
News Anchor: This just in. It appears that states Oregon, Alabama, Texas, Washington, Pennsylvania, California, and New Jersey have all run out of Sheer دل Attack. Riots have broken out in almost every McCharles in those states, and people have been moving across the country, just to get a single bite of Sheer دل Attack.
(Walks with Wind inside of a Kruger’s)
Hannah: Okay, so maybe people do act a little stupid
Wind: (Pushing shopping cart, full of bottled water and canned food) Yeah, told you
Hannah: What are آپ doing?
Wind: I’m buying supplies for when the world goes to shit
Hannah: Okay, now I know you’re being overdramatic
Wind: I proved آپ wrong before, I can do it again. Now come and help me get sleeping bags. I hear that Kruger’s slashed the prices on those.
News Anchor: The shortage on Sheer دل Attack has begun to spread throughout the country. Only three states seem to have Sheer دل Attack, and people have resorted to violence in order to obtain a piece of the Sheer دل Attack. Could this be the end of civilization as we know it? And all over a single burger? And is it worth it? To all those questions… Yes. Yes it is.
Wind: (Hiding inside his house, with bottled water, canned food, sleeping bags, a BB gun, and a radio) (Looks out his window through the curtains)
Cody: (Knocks on the window) Wind, let me in
Wind: It’s every man for himself. Fuck off
Cody: Please, آپ gotta save me. I promise, I won’t be a bother
Wind: How can I trust you
Cody: …. I got 20 bucks
Wind: ………… (Opens the door) Okay, come in
Cody: Thanks (Walks in) Hope آپ don’t mind I brought James
Wind: What?
James: Sorry, but this was the safest place
Wind: Fine…. Give me $20 and آپ can stay
Hannah: (Knocks on Wind’s door) Wind, open the door
Wind: Can’t. I got enough people in already
Cody: No آپ don’t. آپ only got me and James
(Wind hits Cody in the back of the head)
Hannah: Please Wind, let me in
Wind: Fine. Admit I was right and I will
Hannah: ……. Really?
Wind: Yep
Hannah: Okay, fine. آپ were right and I was wrong. Can I come in now
Wind: (Opens the door) Told آپ so
Hannah: (Walks in) …. What’s this (Looks at the empty food cans and water bottles)
Wind: Well (Looks at Cody and James) there were complications
Cody: Come on. I have a huge stomach
Wind: So, we were planning on heading to a new location
Hannah: Don’t آپ have anything
Wind: I bought this (Holds up a riot shotgun and points it at her)
Hannah: Hey, watch where آپ point that thing! Where did آپ get that
Wind: Well, I bought a bottle of whisky, and I found this one homeless man, and I made a trade with him.
Hannah: How did a homeless man get a shotgun
Wind: Let’s just say the 2nd amendment goes very far. Now, let’s go and get some مزید supplies. We’ll just rob a Mall-Mart, and take what we can from there. Sound good
Cody: Maybe we can actually get a TV
James: And maybe some real food. Like taco’s
Cody: Yeah, can we stop at a ٹیکو Tower on the way
Wind: No fast food, understand
Cody: Fine
(They all walk over to a small car and get in)
Wind: I’ll drive
(Hannah shoves him into the passenger seat)
Hannah: No, I’ll drive
(As she starts the car, a band of raiders drives down the road in a heavily armored truck)
Raider: (Sniffs the air) I smell Sheer دل Attack!
(They drive towards the car)
Wind: Which one of آپ fucks has that damn hamburger
Cody: …… I couldn’t help it (Takes a Sheer دل Attack in a wrapper out of his pocket)
Hannah: Eww. آپ kept that in your pocket for a week?!
Wind: آپ stupid fuck
Cody: I couldn’t help it. It was so good
(The raiders get closer)
Wind: Hannah, drive
(Hannah steps on the gas and drives down the road as the raiders chase them)
Wind: I’m so glad I traded that whisky for this (Holds the shotgun up) James! (Tosses a pen to him) Use this
James: What am I supposed to do with a pen?
Wind: Improvise (Hangs out of the window and shoots at the truck)
(The raiders swerve to avoid the bullets)
(Two raiders jump onto the car)
James: (Screams in fear) (Takes the pen and stabs the raiders hands, making them fall off the car and onto the road)
Wind: (Shoots the truck tire, causing the truck to crash)
Wind: We did it! We got them
Hannah: Great! Now we just head to Mall-Mart (They turn the corner to the Mall-Mart, only to stop)
Wind: What the fuck?!
(They see that the entire parking lot is filled with calm civilians)
Wind: (Pokes his head out and talks to one of the civilians) Hey, what happened? Why did everyone just come back?
Civilian: Oh, as it turns out, the McCharles CEO confessed that Sheer دل Attack was just a regular burger, and just lied about it being a special burger. Some people still don’t know. Know they’re just dressed as raiders and driving in armored cars. They should go back to normal in a few days
Wind: …… (Falls back in his car seat, giving an annoyed sigh)
Cody: …….. So does this mean we can go to ٹیکو Tower?
