I sat on a black, leather couch, starring at the deep blue walls. I was in Alexander’s office, for my appointment. I’d come here straight from the cathedral. My hair was tangled, and messy. I still wore plaid pajama bottoms, and an old, gray tee shirt.
I came to a realization last night. Today, I would make my move. I have done enough to hold my own. Now I could be happy…Maybe.
I debated whether, یا not I should tell Alexander about Lucy. Dr. Anozi would’ve liked the idea, but I’m not sure about Dr. Laveney.
I also wondered if I should tell him about my outbreak from the other night. Should I tell Alexander about the voices? I would decide when he asked.
After a moment, a sharp knock startled me. I looked up at the wooden door as it opened. Dr. Laveney stood in the doorway, peering at me with his coco brown eyes. A smile played on his thin lips.
“Damien Demidov, I was wondering when I’d see آپ again,” Alexander said.
“You knew when I’d be in,” I said, returning the smile.
“I was hoping I’d see آپ sooner,” he sat down on a light brown chair across from the couch.
“I’m always busy,” I said, remembering how the week had been.
“Yes, I can tell, new jobs keep آپ busy,” I knew that all too well.
“Yes, I know. I just received my license,” I said, then immediately felt stupid. Alexander knew I had my license I’d called his phone for that patient I lost.
“I know آپ left a message on my phone. I believe آپ asked me to call in a prescription for a dead patient,” Alexander کہا with a peculiar look on his face. I couldn’t quite categorize the emotion.
“Oh, yes, I forgot,” I lied, making myself not seem like a total dumb ass. “Keep in mind, though. I called آپ before he committed suicide.”
“Rule number one when working with psychotic patients at a hospital: never, EVER leave the room. They will end up like Jared,” کہا Alexander.
“Hopefully, I won’t have to work in the hospital anymore. Maybe I can keep to the asylum,” I said.
“How is the institution doing? I haven’t been up there since the دن Dr. Anozi left,” Alexander moved his head to the side.
“Good, I’m up there now. I have Dr. Anozi’s old office,” I said.
“Really? I was wondering who would get it.”
“So, why haven’t آپ been to the institution?” I asked.
“I’ve been on vacation for the last week. Before that most of my cases have been at the hospital,” he answered.
“Oh, are آپ still working at the asylum?”
“Yes, but not as often as the hospital,” Alexander looked out the tall, glass window as a bird went by.
“Do آپ have an office up there?” I asked, making plans to find the key and raid it.
“No, I don’t. The only office I have it this one. At the private practice,” Dr. Anozi, and Alexander had both worked at the private practice. It was an exclusive psychiatry building. Only certain people could enter. Even I couldn’t enter without Dr. Anozi, یا Dr. Laveney.
“It’s a nice office,” I said, running out of things to say.
“Thank you. Well, Damien, how have the past few weeks been?” Alexander asked.
“They’ve been decent,” I told the half-truth. It hadn’t been extremely bad, but it hadn’t been great either.
“Really? Grey called me not long پہلے saying the voices had been bothering you,” کہا Alexander, his brow furrowed slightly.
“Well, they gave me trouble during a thunderstorm,” I said.
“Was the topic connected to the storm?” I didn’t want to tell him the truth.
“No, I was asked سوالات I’ve never been faced with,” I کہا not giving it all away.
“Such as?” Dr. Laveney dug for information.
“There were a few سوالات about my sexual identity,” Alexander’s eyes widened as he looked at me. There it went, what I’d been trying to cover up for years. It was starring me straight in the face, and I couldn’t deny it.
I came to a realization last night. Today, I would make my move. I have done enough to hold my own. Now I could be happy…Maybe.
I debated whether, یا not I should tell Alexander about Lucy. Dr. Anozi would’ve liked the idea, but I’m not sure about Dr. Laveney.
I also wondered if I should tell him about my outbreak from the other night. Should I tell Alexander about the voices? I would decide when he asked.
After a moment, a sharp knock startled me. I looked up at the wooden door as it opened. Dr. Laveney stood in the doorway, peering at me with his coco brown eyes. A smile played on his thin lips.
“Damien Demidov, I was wondering when I’d see آپ again,” Alexander said.
“You knew when I’d be in,” I said, returning the smile.
“I was hoping I’d see آپ sooner,” he sat down on a light brown chair across from the couch.
“I’m always busy,” I said, remembering how the week had been.
“Yes, I can tell, new jobs keep آپ busy,” I knew that all too well.
“Yes, I know. I just received my license,” I said, then immediately felt stupid. Alexander knew I had my license I’d called his phone for that patient I lost.
“I know آپ left a message on my phone. I believe آپ asked me to call in a prescription for a dead patient,” Alexander کہا with a peculiar look on his face. I couldn’t quite categorize the emotion.
“Oh, yes, I forgot,” I lied, making myself not seem like a total dumb ass. “Keep in mind, though. I called آپ before he committed suicide.”
“Rule number one when working with psychotic patients at a hospital: never, EVER leave the room. They will end up like Jared,” کہا Alexander.
“Hopefully, I won’t have to work in the hospital anymore. Maybe I can keep to the asylum,” I said.
“How is the institution doing? I haven’t been up there since the دن Dr. Anozi left,” Alexander moved his head to the side.
“Good, I’m up there now. I have Dr. Anozi’s old office,” I said.
“Really? I was wondering who would get it.”
“So, why haven’t آپ been to the institution?” I asked.
“I’ve been on vacation for the last week. Before that most of my cases have been at the hospital,” he answered.
“Oh, are آپ still working at the asylum?”
“Yes, but not as often as the hospital,” Alexander looked out the tall, glass window as a bird went by.
“Do آپ have an office up there?” I asked, making plans to find the key and raid it.
“No, I don’t. The only office I have it this one. At the private practice,” Dr. Anozi, and Alexander had both worked at the private practice. It was an exclusive psychiatry building. Only certain people could enter. Even I couldn’t enter without Dr. Anozi, یا Dr. Laveney.
“It’s a nice office,” I said, running out of things to say.
“Thank you. Well, Damien, how have the past few weeks been?” Alexander asked.
“They’ve been decent,” I told the half-truth. It hadn’t been extremely bad, but it hadn’t been great either.
“Really? Grey called me not long پہلے saying the voices had been bothering you,” کہا Alexander, his brow furrowed slightly.
“Well, they gave me trouble during a thunderstorm,” I said.
“Was the topic connected to the storm?” I didn’t want to tell him the truth.
“No, I was asked سوالات I’ve never been faced with,” I کہا not giving it all away.
“Such as?” Dr. Laveney dug for information.
“There were a few سوالات about my sexual identity,” Alexander’s eyes widened as he looked at me. There it went, what I’d been trying to cover up for years. It was starring me straight in the face, and I couldn’t deny it.
January 15, 1815
Journal,
Its cold. My food is almost gone, I can’t feel my hands. I lost my hat; my ears are frozen. My sisters are dying. Sasha has pneumonia, and Nastea’s lost her کوٹ and shoes. My hair is falling out. I look at the broken down train behind us. Tree’s sleep soundlessly on سب, سب سے اوپر of it. I sit at a درخت trunk, with آپ on my lap, and a scrawny pencil in my hand. Nastea sits beside Sasha, feeding her berries and herbs. I hope things get better, Journal. I hope things get better.
Bye Journal,
Nadia
Journal,
Its cold. My food is almost gone, I can’t feel my hands. I lost my hat; my ears are frozen. My sisters are dying. Sasha has pneumonia, and Nastea’s lost her کوٹ and shoes. My hair is falling out. I look at the broken down train behind us. Tree’s sleep soundlessly on سب, سب سے اوپر of it. I sit at a درخت trunk, with آپ on my lap, and a scrawny pencil in my hand. Nastea sits beside Sasha, feeding her berries and herbs. I hope things get better, Journal. I hope things get better.
Bye Journal,
Nadia
she unloads his gun
She and he waits for this
he releases his love
In blue and green orbs
she gives him مزید and more
A million miles away
A million years girl
In a black woven chest
he digs his nails deep
She trusts in him for what he does
live in a house in the suburbs
He kisses the pain with blood and light
sleeping it off in the morning
A million miles away
A million years girl
In her world of his
she unloads his gun
In a world of his
she covers the sun
A million miles away
A million years
A million years girl