There's no such thing as "fitting in" apparently.
I was observing I guess آپ could say, the students at the school. The kids who were "popular" were very obvious; they had huge crowds around them, and were acting very obnoxious. Apparently this rank was دیا to آپ at birth یا something. Kids who were "losers" were not allowed to socialize with these kids at all.
I pity the losers.
Not that I wasn't one either, because it's obvious that I was. Not even the other losers would talk to me... Not that I wanted them to. I was better off just being سے طرف کی myself. So I avoided Jezreel and Emery as much as I could. I appreciated their effort; I just didn't want to get close to anyone here. I had too much on my mind to have friends.
There were some kids that caught my eye though.
I noticed them far off to the side, far off where even the nerds weren't hanging out. A small group of them hung out in the corner, seeming oblivious to others around them. While everyone else seemed chaotic and vibrant, they seemed calm and collected. Actually mature.
"Hey Shelby," a voice snapped my attention. I looked up to see Emery, beaming down on me with his goofy grin. I ducked my head.
"Hi," I mumbled.
"What's up?"
"...Nothing," I said, rolling my eyes behind my eyelids. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? He'd been attempting to talk to me for almost a week now, with no success. I didn't like him. He was too... happy. My eyes flickered over to the other kids, my curiosity spiking up now and then.
"Whatcha lookin' at?" Emery asked, turning around. I saw this as my chance to know what the deal was with those kids.
"Who're they?" I asked; it was almost a whisper.
"Them?" Emery asked, almost disbelieving. "Those are the druggies," he کہا slowly, as if I was missing a big piece of the puzzle. "Why?"
"I dunno," I shrugged. "They seem nice."
"Yeah, maybe because they're high," he replied coldly. He glared at me, staring me down with his big brown eyes. "Stay away from them Shelby. Those kids are bad news. آپ don't want to get involved with drugs and crap like that." I bit my tongue. Who was he to tell me what to do? The گھنٹی, بیل rang, and Emery left, with a warning glance. I rolled my eyes. Why was he acting like he was Blair یا something?
That دن at lunch, Emery and Jezreel didn't get their daily chance to invite me to their lunch میز, جدول (which failed also daily). Instead of sitting in my usual spot in the far back corner of the cafeteria, I went to eat outside, where the "druggies" were.
I admit that when I saw them there, I was actually kind of intimidated. Ok, really intimidated. I took a deep breath, and walked over to them. They gave me weird looks. One of them chuckled.
"It's the retard," one of the guys chuckled. "Aren't آپ supposed to be in high school یا something?" I ignored the comment.
"I need something," I said, my voice shaking a little. The guy stopped laughing. They all looked at each other; their eyes suspicious.
"Like what," one girl said. My دل beat picked up.
"Anything," I کہا quickly. "Just give me something to forget." The girl smiled.
I was observing I guess آپ could say, the students at the school. The kids who were "popular" were very obvious; they had huge crowds around them, and were acting very obnoxious. Apparently this rank was دیا to آپ at birth یا something. Kids who were "losers" were not allowed to socialize with these kids at all.
I pity the losers.
Not that I wasn't one either, because it's obvious that I was. Not even the other losers would talk to me... Not that I wanted them to. I was better off just being سے طرف کی myself. So I avoided Jezreel and Emery as much as I could. I appreciated their effort; I just didn't want to get close to anyone here. I had too much on my mind to have friends.
There were some kids that caught my eye though.
I noticed them far off to the side, far off where even the nerds weren't hanging out. A small group of them hung out in the corner, seeming oblivious to others around them. While everyone else seemed chaotic and vibrant, they seemed calm and collected. Actually mature.
"Hey Shelby," a voice snapped my attention. I looked up to see Emery, beaming down on me with his goofy grin. I ducked my head.
"Hi," I mumbled.
"What's up?"
"...Nothing," I said, rolling my eyes behind my eyelids. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? He'd been attempting to talk to me for almost a week now, with no success. I didn't like him. He was too... happy. My eyes flickered over to the other kids, my curiosity spiking up now and then.
"Whatcha lookin' at?" Emery asked, turning around. I saw this as my chance to know what the deal was with those kids.
"Who're they?" I asked; it was almost a whisper.
"Them?" Emery asked, almost disbelieving. "Those are the druggies," he کہا slowly, as if I was missing a big piece of the puzzle. "Why?"
"I dunno," I shrugged. "They seem nice."
"Yeah, maybe because they're high," he replied coldly. He glared at me, staring me down with his big brown eyes. "Stay away from them Shelby. Those kids are bad news. آپ don't want to get involved with drugs and crap like that." I bit my tongue. Who was he to tell me what to do? The گھنٹی, بیل rang, and Emery left, with a warning glance. I rolled my eyes. Why was he acting like he was Blair یا something?
That دن at lunch, Emery and Jezreel didn't get their daily chance to invite me to their lunch میز, جدول (which failed also daily). Instead of sitting in my usual spot in the far back corner of the cafeteria, I went to eat outside, where the "druggies" were.
I admit that when I saw them there, I was actually kind of intimidated. Ok, really intimidated. I took a deep breath, and walked over to them. They gave me weird looks. One of them chuckled.
"It's the retard," one of the guys chuckled. "Aren't آپ supposed to be in high school یا something?" I ignored the comment.
"I need something," I said, my voice shaking a little. The guy stopped laughing. They all looked at each other; their eyes suspicious.
"Like what," one girl said. My دل beat picked up.
"Anything," I کہا quickly. "Just give me something to forget." The girl smiled.
I wrote this is five minutes. Not that good, I know.
It's in the point of view of a fire.
It's in a fireplace in a living room.
Hope آپ enjoy.
Read to the rhythym آپ would
'The Night Before Christmas'
I flickered and jumped
and sat on the logs
and watched as the human
kicked off his clogs.
The dog soon followed
and sat سے طرف کی his side
and they soon were asleep
and my flame soon died.
But a flicker did linger
and I wondered a bit.
When would be the اگلے time
that I would be lit?
-starwarsfangirl
5/4/10
It's in the point of view of a fire.
It's in a fireplace in a living room.
Hope آپ enjoy.
Read to the rhythym آپ would
'The Night Before Christmas'
I flickered and jumped
and sat on the logs
and watched as the human
kicked off his clogs.
The dog soon followed
and sat سے طرف کی his side
and they soon were asleep
and my flame soon died.
But a flicker did linger
and I wondered a bit.
When would be the اگلے time
that I would be lit?
-starwarsfangirl
5/4/10
I am bored with love
and it's passionless limbs
that drape over my bed
in a lethargic state of impotence
while wearing the same red heart
my soul picked up hitchhiking
off highway serendipity
Now here we are
alone in togetherness
trying to build dreams
with two سے طرف کی fours and glue,
but even a home
won't tie us together
when our hearts live alone
Poetic vows cliched
into nothingness
like all words do, eventually
and we allowed our bodies to become another pair of hollow shadows that make love to a wall
instead of each other
and we wonder why
the roses are dying
and it's passionless limbs
that drape over my bed
in a lethargic state of impotence
while wearing the same red heart
my soul picked up hitchhiking
off highway serendipity
Now here we are
alone in togetherness
trying to build dreams
with two سے طرف کی fours and glue,
but even a home
won't tie us together
when our hearts live alone
Poetic vows cliched
into nothingness
like all words do, eventually
and we allowed our bodies to become another pair of hollow shadows that make love to a wall
instead of each other
and we wonder why
the roses are dying
jamie is a beautiful girl. she has long ,blond hair,she has a گلابی شرٹ, قمیض and dark blue jeans. she was the cousin of lindsey.
she was walking her dog,sweetie,when,jamie tripped on a rock. she thn fell into the arms of trent.
'hell," he said.
"thnks for saving me,abd hi."
"you okay?"
"yeah,but,i,need to rest,and my house is pretty far from here.
"you can com,e over. i live across."
"thanks,um,"
"trent."
"trent."
they went to trents house,and they went up to his rom
"and this is my room."
i had a gray wall,with gutiar poster,and a bed.closet,drawers and other things.
"wow,thats a cool room."
"thanks."
"listen,do آپ have a girlfreind?"
"no,why?'
"i dont,do آپ wanna go out?"
"okay."
"so.."
then trent kissed jamie,and thats hat went on for the rest of the day.
she was walking her dog,sweetie,when,jamie tripped on a rock. she thn fell into the arms of trent.
'hell," he said.
"thnks for saving me,abd hi."
"you okay?"
"yeah,but,i,need to rest,and my house is pretty far from here.
"you can com,e over. i live across."
"thanks,um,"
"trent."
"trent."
they went to trents house,and they went up to his rom
"and this is my room."
i had a gray wall,with gutiar poster,and a bed.closet,drawers and other things.
"wow,thats a cool room."
"thanks."
"listen,do آپ have a girlfreind?"
"no,why?'
"i dont,do آپ wanna go out?"
"okay."
"so.."
then trent kissed jamie,and thats hat went on for the rest of the day.
i dindnt say anything for a minute,then i spoke.
'do آپ know why?"
'well,she کہا something about an old friend in texas." izzy told me.
"you dont think.."
"maybe.where else could she have gone?"
"come سے طرف کی my house after school,i have plan."
After school,izzy came over.We went to my room.
"what are we gonna do?"izzy asked,as soon as she walked in the room.
"wee gonig to find aslee" i siad,trying to sound as serious as possible.
"youre kidding,right? i mean,where are we gonna go?"izzy said.
"texas"
she stared at me.Blankly.Not saying a thing.As if she was gonna drop dead.
"izzy?"i asked,trying to get her back to reality.
"you must be on drugs," she said
"what?"
"youve got to be joking me.i mean,your mom is not gonig to take us,my mom is dead,and theres no way ere gonna..wait...your not saying?
"yep,wee going to texas"
'do آپ know why?"
'well,she کہا something about an old friend in texas." izzy told me.
"you dont think.."
"maybe.where else could she have gone?"
"come سے طرف کی my house after school,i have plan."
After school,izzy came over.We went to my room.
"what are we gonna do?"izzy asked,as soon as she walked in the room.
"wee gonig to find aslee" i siad,trying to sound as serious as possible.
"youre kidding,right? i mean,where are we gonna go?"izzy said.
"texas"
she stared at me.Blankly.Not saying a thing.As if she was gonna drop dead.
"izzy?"i asked,trying to get her back to reality.
"you must be on drugs," she said
"what?"
"youve got to be joking me.i mean,your mom is not gonig to take us,my mom is dead,and theres no way ere gonna..wait...your not saying?
"yep,wee going to texas"
poem 1:the world
the sun shines bright
there's day,and there's night
both are beautiful sights
this is the world
Winter,spring,summer,and fall
is a magical season
so there is no reason
for آپ to hate
seasons so great
we are all one
we need the sun
we need the air
we all care
about the world
poem 2:love
there is something above
we cant see it
we cant bee it
but we all know what it is
it is love
love is what we need
to live,to breath
to be what we can be
we all need love
love is power
love is strong.
thats why love songs
are so very strong
Poem 3:run (this one isnt all that good)
in the sun
is where i run
away from here
ill not be near
Something that will kill me
something that can be
so deadly and strong
and can kill me with a song
thats why i run
in the sun
i still remember آپ hum.
im sorry i must run.
the sun shines bright
there's day,and there's night
both are beautiful sights
this is the world
Winter,spring,summer,and fall
is a magical season
so there is no reason
for آپ to hate
seasons so great
we are all one
we need the sun
we need the air
we all care
about the world
poem 2:love
there is something above
we cant see it
we cant bee it
but we all know what it is
it is love
love is what we need
to live,to breath
to be what we can be
we all need love
love is power
love is strong.
thats why love songs
are so very strong
Poem 3:run (this one isnt all that good)
in the sun
is where i run
away from here
ill not be near
Something that will kill me
something that can be
so deadly and strong
and can kill me with a song
thats why i run
in the sun
i still remember آپ hum.
im sorry i must run.
I remember the times of the i love you's
and times when it was i hate you.
But آپ come back begging at me feet.
And when my pity defeated me.
and the sweet seranades, in our matching shades.
My rose collection, evidence of your effection.
The sheets unmade, from the nights آپ stayed.
The child in me, from the times آپ loved me.
The debt آپ owe, from using the word borrow.
The times i was scared, was the time آپ spared.
And this dress i wear, in which are people become aware, that آپ are gone, and withdrawn.
The memories i hold, they are written in bold.
my broken heart, from when آپ apart.
so rest now my love, up now from above.
and times when it was i hate you.
But آپ come back begging at me feet.
And when my pity defeated me.
and the sweet seranades, in our matching shades.
My rose collection, evidence of your effection.
The sheets unmade, from the nights آپ stayed.
The child in me, from the times آپ loved me.
The debt آپ owe, from using the word borrow.
The times i was scared, was the time آپ spared.
And this dress i wear, in which are people become aware, that آپ are gone, and withdrawn.
The memories i hold, they are written in bold.
my broken heart, from when آپ apart.
so rest now my love, up now from above.
I'm sat at home
In my cardboard box
I'm scared to death
So I cuddle my socks
I hear the key turn in the door
Fear swells inside of me
My hope plummets through the floor
I peep outside my little box
In time to see my daddy roar
I'm worried now, I realise
Because he's angry I notice now
That what I'm seeing with swollen eyes
I don't know when I don't know how
It may be the last thing I ever see
This may be the last of me
I see his boots come closer, so I shriek
My bruises hurt مزید than ever
He picks me up, I feel so weak
He shakes me now and calls me worthless
I just want him to love me
I just want him to know me
But the broken bottle is against my chest
And is thrust through my cotton vest
Into my heart, the pain is fire
I see myself as I float higher
Now my vision is rimmed with darkness
The end is near, I feel its presence
I just wish that I could tell him
I love him, but his love is dim
In my cardboard box
I'm scared to death
So I cuddle my socks
I hear the key turn in the door
Fear swells inside of me
My hope plummets through the floor
I peep outside my little box
In time to see my daddy roar
I'm worried now, I realise
Because he's angry I notice now
That what I'm seeing with swollen eyes
I don't know when I don't know how
It may be the last thing I ever see
This may be the last of me
I see his boots come closer, so I shriek
My bruises hurt مزید than ever
He picks me up, I feel so weak
He shakes me now and calls me worthless
I just want him to love me
I just want him to know me
But the broken bottle is against my chest
And is thrust through my cotton vest
Into my heart, the pain is fire
I see myself as I float higher
Now my vision is rimmed with darkness
The end is near, I feel its presence
I just wish that I could tell him
I love him, but his love is dim
