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posted by deathding
When life gives آپ lemons, make مالٹا, نارنگی رس, جوس and leave the world wondering how the heck آپ did it.

That's just the way the cookie crumbles... All over my clean new shirt.

If at first آپ don't succeed, destroy everything.

An سیب, ایپل a دن can keep any doctor away if آپ throw it hard enough.

Don't worry if Plan A fails, there's 25 مزید letters in the alphabet.

Do آپ believe in love at first sight, یا should I walk سے طرف کی again?

Weird? Nah, I prefer the term, "Avant-Garde"

Who says nothing's impossible? I've been doing it for years.

My mother texted me: “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?” I answered: “I don’t know, love you, talk to آپ later.” Mother: “OK, I’ll ask your sister.”

I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.

Dear life, when I asked if my دن could get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

I'm not clumsy, it's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the دیوار gets in the way.

That annoying moment when آپ finally get comfortable in bed, but then BAM, آپ need to use the restroom.

آپ don't notice the air, at least until someone spoils it.

Aim for the moon! Even if آپ miss, you'll land among the stars! But either way, you'll run out of oxygen eventually.

Hmm.... I could kill this person and nobody would notice.... Wait a minute. WHAT THE HELL BRAIN!?

Don't follow my footsteps, I run into walls.

When a bird hits your window have آپ ever wondered if God's playing Angry Birds with you?

"Just five مزید minutes!" Always means the person will never get ready. :D

Whenever you're feeling sad, just remember that somewhere in the world there’s an idiot pulling a door that says “PUSH”.

Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

That moment when آپ see a YouTube channel with the usual blue anonymous person on it, but with a spider, and آپ think it's real.

Graduation Speech: I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste.

Have آپ ever had a fly یا small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?

Be nice to nerds, chances are you’ll end up working for one.

I didn't fall, the floor just needed a hug.

Me talking to anyone else: "Hey, what's up? :D" Me talking to a girl I like: "uH HelO hOWZ yU dNGoi toDAY? @__@"

It doesn't matter whether آپ win یا lose, what matters is if I win یا lose.

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, fires, screaming, my work here is done. :D

Don't steal, lie, cheat, یا sell drugs. The government hates competition!

Keep talking, maybe someday I'll finally listen.

I was wondering why the Black Knight's shovel was getting bigger, then it hit me!

Pac-Man: "I see dead people..."

(Hope آپ enjoyed! If we can get 5 fans, I'll add more! ^___^)
added by Alexyss_Cullen
Source: tumblr
added by msanders2008
added by EminemAddict09
Source: my awesomeness
added by Cyrusrocks
Source: no idea
posted by nmdis
Dream it Out Loud

How do آپ speak in silence?
Why do آپ sleep when you're awake?
If we just cut the tie lines, then we can simply sail away.
Pack up your things. Write it all down.
You'll soon be accustomed to the sound.

Dream it out loud.
Dream it out loud.
Dream it out loud.

I want to paint in colors.
Leaving the land of black and white.
And if we do go back there, we'll see it in a different light.
Ready to go. Open the door.
Just like the rain falls from the cloud.

Dream it out loud.
Dream it out loud.
Dream it out loud.

It's a better day.
We're on our way.
If there's anything we can't remember.
Who's to say it's not all just a dream.

Don't have to think about it.
Just like a river it will flow.
We waited to long without it.
If we just get up now and go.
Open your eyes and look around.
You'll be surprised what آپ have found.

Dream it out loud. (x 10)
(I'm dreaming. Keep on dreaming.) (x10)
"Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. مزید than machinery, we need humanity. مزید than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness." - Charlie Chaplin, The Great Dictator

“If we are to have faith in justice. We need only to believe in ourselves. And act with justice. I believe there is justice in our hearts.” - Paul Newman, The Verdict

“The inches we need are everywhere around us. They’re in every break of the game. Every minute. Every second. On this team we fight for that inch. On this team we tear ourselves and everyone...
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posted by haliethefangirl
How To Annoy People In An Elevator
Ask, “did آپ hear that cable snapping sound?”
Call the psychic hotline from آپ cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with yours eyes darting around the elevator.
>>> click here for مزید

Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmates
Cheer and clap loudly every time someoe breaks the silence w/ a bodily function noise.
Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"
Stick your open palm under the stall wall...
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posted by SymmaGirl2
Just a couple of song titles. I'll add "in my pants" to the end of each one to keep it interesting! XD Here goes~!
Cool Edition...in my pants.
Just Dance...in my pants.
Mr. Wonderful...in my pants.
Alcohol...in my pants.
Let's Boil Hot Water...in my pants.
Firetruck...in my pants.
Thriller...in my pants.
I Like Hamburgers...in my pants.
Go Google It...in my pants.
Ten Faced...in my pants.
Parallel Days...in my pants.
Little ڈرمر Boy...in my pants.
Secret Princes...in my pants.
Moonlit Marionette...in my pants.
Meltdown...in my pants.
Prison...in my pants.
Labyrinth Butterfly...in my pants.
Beside Me...in...
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posted by mandali
A Child's Mind

A child's mind is so soft a clay
mold it to into anything آپ may
it's tender and innocent so, for the moment
let it free to play!

Nothing does it know, of the Life's Dirty Play
For it life is all Bright and Gay
It is True, Sweet and Pure
But the way it is, Let it stay!

For in this world of misery and grief
To my mind is a relief,
that a Temple of Innocence
in the world still does exist!

-Siri Mandali

Hope آپ like it, I've گیا کیا پوسٹ it in my blog too :) - link
posted by Animetama
Here are some tips on getting a shy یا quiet girl, please read closley but try not to over read it.

1: Make her laugh, she loves to laugh and have a good time.

2: Don't force her to open up right away, get to know her, آپ may be surprized (in a good way).

3: Smile, she wants to know if you're happy too. But don't fake a smile.

4: Don't be too silly, یا too serious, as کہا before, she wants to have a good time.

5: if she rejects your offers, then it means she may not be intrerested in you.

6: Hang out with her, if your still in school, then that's a good oppertunity to every once in awhile hang...
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The Falling Man
One of the most haunting تصاویر captured from 9/11, it shows a man free-falling after he has jumped from one of the windows of North Tower. He was one of the people they call “Jumpers”, who chose to jump to their death rather than get suffocated سے طرف کی the smoke یا get buried under the rubble. Some called them cowards, while some sensationalized them as tragic symbols of 9/11. But the fact of the matter is, it was a hard choice for anyone to make, and one can not really judge the decisions a person makes in times like these.

People, آپ rant so much about how آپ have a hard time making choices. Whether آپ should work on your assignment یا go out with your friends. Whether آپ should تاریخ this guy یا that guy. Whether آپ should break up with your boyfriend یا not. Whether آپ should wear the گلابی بلاؤز, کمری یا the baby blue one.



Imagine the choice this man had to make.....
posted by GreenerPastures
These are some reasons why I abso-flipping-lutely love my smashing country Kenya:
1-Its where the President of the sovereign United States of America traces his roots,albeit a little too far off.
2- Its the only place آپ can hear phrases like:"Omera,yawa, who do آپ think آپ are messing with? Don't آپ know that my brother has a friend who wipes the office of a man who makes long-distance calls to the friend of a man who works with the president of the FBI who talks face-to-face with Obama, therefore I have American blood flowing in my veins?" Yet the poor guy is as black as coal.
3-The glam...
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posted by Tamar20
Enemies and haters can be annoying and their تبصرے and insults can upset you. Learn how to deal with it...

1)If آپ don’t know why they hate you, ask them calmly and nicely. If they are nasty to آپ یا start swearing یا being violent, walk away and don’t bother trying to talk to them again until they have calmed down یا until they talk to آپ nicely. Some people can be دیا سیکنڈ chances to realize that آپ aren’t really a bad person and they have nothing to hate آپ for. But some people just won’t like آپ in life, so don’t waste your time fretting about why they don’t like...
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Some people may ask, "Why Invader Zim first?" I say SCREW IT, ILL DO WHAT I WANT! In any case, the دکھائیں is one of my favorites. It represents a better time for Nick. Better shows, better actors, better Nick. Altough this is a time since past, Nicktoons has made the GENIUS(sp?) decision to bring it back.
If آپ look at the definition of Invader Zim on Wikipedia(again, sp?), it says that IZ employs a comedy style called "black comedy". Basically, this means that IZ uses dark methods of humor, such as the gluttonus "Bloaty the پیزا Hog", یا perhaps just the dark scenery in IZ (it gives a very...
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if someone is annoying you, just say "they're not even worth my time."


if someone is making آپ upset, just say "look how carless and mean he/she/they are/is."


if someone doesn't believe you, just say "i can't do anything to change your mind."


if someone doesn't like the way آپ are, یا they want to change something about you, say "i didn't make myself like this. this is how i was born. take me as i am, یا don't accept me at all."


if someone is bullying آپ for "no reason", it's because they like you, یا is jealous of you, یا it's the spirits clashing.
posted by Icepaw_Kenobi
Found this online...
1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give آپ a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3. Ask if آپ can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
5. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your دن been?"
6. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream,...
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31 Things Guys Should Know About Girls

Written سے طرف کی a guy. After years of experience.

1. Whatever آپ do, don't just دکھائیں up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do.

2. Don't cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and آپ will be mud.

3. Beware of every single male relatives and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your butt at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat.

4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.

5. Don't refuse to kiss in...
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posted by invadercalliope
I hope آپ enjoy!
:D
20 Funny Quotes
1:You tries your best and آپ failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'
2:I didn't lose my mind, I just sold it on eBay
3:A good friend will bail آپ out of jail, a best friend will be sitting اگلے to آپ saying "Dude that was freakin awesome!"
4:Accept that some days you're the pigeon. and some days you're the statue
5:There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the ساحل like an idiot.
6:Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted
7:Never give up things that once made آپ smile
8:Clear as a گھنٹی, بیل my nody کہا "Listen fatty...do it and die
9:Caution water on...
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posted by karpach_14
Advantages Of Being A Woman
Why it's better to be a Woman!

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character یا the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't...
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FRIENDS: Lend آپ their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN DUDE! RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat یا drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why آپ have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents سے طرف کی Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, سے طرف کی Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail آپ out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting اگلے to آپ sayin "THAT WAS FREAKIN' AWESOME!!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen آپ cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else آپ cried...just laugh about it with آپ in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS:...
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