Twilight Parody

Whoa. Its the final battle already? It seems like this all started a week ago....which it did....so...yeah.
NOTE: I am a Twilight fan, so do not suggest that I think all Twilight شائقین are crazy. I also think HP is better than Twilight, though. Just a little.
NOTE:I like HP and T, I am not trying to make fun of either, I'm just having fun with some of the ideas.
NOTE: okay, I'm just putting this note in to build suspense.
NOTE: This is it. The big one. The end. The last one. The one and only. The awesome one. The one that is the end. The climatic one. The one that, if آپ do not read, will send...

I, SpeedyGonzalez did NOT write this. I just merely copyed and pasted it.

Ah, yes, Stephenie Meyer, مصنف of the Twilight series. My opinion of her, from the way that she has presented herself to the public in interviews and such, is that she is a whiny, self absorbed woman with the mind of a 13 سال old. She can't deal with criticism because it hurts her delicate little feelings, and believes that she is an amazing writer and that her story and characters are somehow superior to those seen in the works of people such as Jane Austen and William Shakespeare. Here's one statement that shows that...

So Harry Potter is MUCH better than some stupid book about wimpy girls and sparkly fairies. First off:
ALL the Twilight people are UGLY! I mean seriously, Taylor Lautners muscles are gross and he has ugly man-boobs. He looks like a creep on steroids. and Robert Pattison looks like a bum, and Kristen looks like a drug aggict as Bella. I mean, EW! Who wants to watch a movie with eyesores like them? Harry Potter is WAY better, I mean we have HOT guys, and the girls aren't half bad either! I mean. we have Lucius, Draco, Sirius, and Snape to say the LEAST! Plus like a zillion other eye-candy dudes!...

1. It has better writing.
2. It's plotline is better.
3. I'd rather read a book about a teenage boy going to a wizardry school and fighting a dark sorceror than one about a ditzy girl who's way too obsessed with her sparkly boyfriend.
4. The characters are مزید relateable.
5. J.K. Rowling is not afraid to kill off plenty of good guys.
6. Most of the characters' educations actually matter to them.
7. It doesn't have thousands of rabid fangirls.
8. The characters are مزید three-dimensional.
9. It stays true to mythology.
10. It has مزید types of love in it, not just romantic and sexual love (or should...

I'll Start with Harry Potter:

1.The Characters are مزید likeable.
4.Even the villans are likeable.
3.You can related to at least one of the likeable characters.
4.Harry Potter has Bellatrix Lestrange where vas Twilight only has Isabella Swan.
5.The villans actually seem thretning unlike the Volturi.
6.The cast seems friendlier.
7.The relatonships in Harry Potter are taken one step at a time.
8.Harry Potter is مزید realistic; the characters each have a flaw as well as some good traits
9.Harry Potter shows real life issues such as; the loss of someone dear to you, child neglect, (the dursleys) and raceism....

Before آپ start reading, I'd like to say this is my personal opinion. Maybe I'm wrong. If I am, I'd appreciate آپ don't get mad because I don't like fighting. It wasn't meant to be rude, mean یا hurtfull to anybody.

For me Twilight was too easy to read. I could predict what would happen and the plot was too easy. The thing is, the plot isn't bad. Vampires exist, that's cool. آپ know one, yes, very cool. But the way Stephenie Meyer introduces it, how she developed her characters, how she modeled the vampire species, that is where Twilight gets people annoyed. It represent the iceburg that...

First, let me get this straight: I'm not a پرستار of Twilight. In fact, I hate it. But I can see why everyone's so hyped up about it.

You see, I've recently been introduced to a new theory- The Twelve-Year-Old girl theory. It's mostly used in music, like for مقبول شبیہیں like Hannah Montana, Justin Bieber, the Jonas Brothers, but Twilight also fits into this catagory.

What is the Twelve-Year-Old girl theory, آپ might ask? Well, let's just look at people at the age of twelve first. When آپ turn twelve, you're on the thin line between childhood and the teen years. You're young and vulnerable,...