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101. If someone's House Badge is green and mine is purple, it means they are in Slytherin House. It does not mean "TheSorting Hat thinks they're dumber than me."
102. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on the school grounds, not evenfor entertainment purposes.
103. Professor Snape does not enjoy being called "Snookums".
104. -Neither does he respond favorably to "Sev", "Snapey-Poo" یا "Debbie".
105. First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
106. Hagrid does not have relationships with magical creatures, and I should stop implying that he does.
107. I am not authorized to sell incriminating pictures of the faculty to students.
108. -Giving the same pictures out free of charge is also frowned upon.
109. Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in June.
110. House Elf سٹو, اسیجنا is not on the Hogwarts menu neither is Niffler Curry, so I should stop asking.
111. A wand is for magic only; it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, یا drumming on desks, no matter how boredI become.
112. It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape's personal postbox.
113. I will stop referring to Hufflepuffs as "cannon fodder."
114. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
115. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"
116. My headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, not "Gandalf."
117. Neville is not my valet.
118. When دیا a directive سے طرف کی my house prefect, I should not insist that "we don't need no stinking badges."
119. First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.
120. I will not threaten the Fat Lady with Dip.
121. House ghosts do not regularly "slime" anyone.
122. Novelty یا holiday-themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform.
123. There is no "open-mike night" at Hogwarts.
124. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin house mascot.
125. There is no bring a muggle to school day.
126. And I should stop insisting there is.
127. I should not ask Professor McGonagall if, while in cat form, she has ever coughed up a hairball.
128. I must not spread rumors that Lucius Malfoy is, was, یا ever will be known in Death Eater circles as "Dobby'sHomeboys."
129. The fact that Draco Malfoy is short, blond, pale-eyed and rat-faced is no reason for me to tell the Slytherins that Peter Pettigrew should be paying Narcissa child support.
130. I will not say that Harry Potter's godfather has "taken the veil."
131. When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout,"There can be only ONE!"
132. I will not refer to any Death Eaters as "Trixie.
133. -Even if it is a legitimate nickname.
134. I will not tell the Muggleborn first-years that the Forbidden Forest's real name is Minkwood.
135. I must not start a "Vetinari for Minister of Magic" campaign.
136. I am not to conjure the words "DRINK ME" onto the vial of any potion in Snape's classroom.
137. I should not tell anyone that Dean Thomas's nickname is John.
138. I will not go to any fundamentalist websites and argue that Voldemort is a direct contradiction of the concept of"intelligent design.
139. The اگلے time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.
140. Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from "Phantom ofthe Opera.
141. I should not refer to DADA professors as "canaries in the coal mine.
142. I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life." to Lord Voldemort.
143. I will not put کتابیں of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.
144. I will not send pictures of magical creatures to the Weekly World News.
145. I will not cover myself in ectoplasm and walk out of a fireplace, saying I took the "Flu Network".
146. I will not refer to "The Grim" as a nice doggy.
147. I will not refer to Professor Lupin as a nice doggy.
148. I will not ask Professor Sprout where the Jolly Green Giant is.
149. I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "TheChamber of Secrets".
150. I am not permitted to utter the line: "Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a ___ out of my hat!" during Charms class.
151. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor amI its founder.
152. When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" asmy greatest influence at Hogwarts.
153. Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.
154. I am not allowed to ink my owl's feet, have it walk across a parchment, and sell the result as cheat sheets for Ancient Runes, even though Crabbe and Goyle keep falling for it.
155. I will not refer to the Accio charm as "The Force".
156. I will no longer wear a hood; walk up to Harry, and claim to be his real mother.
157. I will not enchant the telescopes on the Astronomy Tower to display non-existent constellations during O.W.L.exams.
158. Albus Dumbledore's proper عنوان is "Headmaster", not "My Liege".
159. A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.
160. Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy.
161. Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.
162. Professor McGonagall does not have an inappropriate relationship with Mrs. Norris.
163. I will not create a pin-up calendar of the Slytherin girls and call it "Voldie's Angels".
164. Professor Flitwick has heard all the "swish and flick" jokes before, and is very, very tired of them.
165. I will not send Professor Snape toothpaste and Shampoo for Christmas.
166. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.
167. I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.
168. I will not refer to Professor McGonagall as Catwoman, no matter how funny she would look in tight leather.
169. -Nor will I ask her if she is Catwoman in disguise.
170. I am not to ask if Lord Voldemort is secretly Hitler یا Osama bin Laden.
171. I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.
172. I will not dye the Death Eaters robes pink.
173. Humming/singing/referring in any way to Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf" around Professor Lupin isinappropriate. It's best not to bring up "Thriller", either.
174. Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that aquill and parchment is sufficient.
175. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
176. Taking red paint and writing creepy messages on the walls is not funny, either.
177. If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling "It does DEATH!" may be correct but is not the manner in which one should answer.
178. Not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.
179. I am not allowed to eat lollipops within Professor Snape's sight ever again.
180. I will never again use the spell used to enchant bludgers on peas.
181. -Or tomatoes, plums, oranges, یا any other food item. یا any other item that is not a Bludger.
182. I may not have a private army.
183. -Not even if it technically belongs to someone else.
184. I should not encourage the house-elves to unionize.
185. I must stop referring to the professors سے طرف کی the embarrassing nicknames they acquired in their school days.
186. I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.
187. Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, یا otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.
188. "Y'all check this-here shit out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that آپ are about to perform anexperimental spell.
189. Portable Swamps are not funny.
190. Revel fires are to be danced around. It is not appropriate to dispose of old love letters یا other sensitivedocuments in them.
191. Bubotubers are not filled with tasty honey, and it is wrong to tell First Years that they are.
192. Ravenclaws do not find a sign saying, "The لائبریری is closed for an indefinite time period" amusing in any sense.
193. Mad-Eye Moody knows his eye is creepy, he does not need to be told... again.
194. Stealing first-years' clothing and then tossing it into and around the whomping willow is highly frowned at.
195. Mrs. Norris does not like playing with blast-ended skrewts.
196. Sneaking slugs into Ron's food is not funny. He does not like being reminded of his incident.
197. Trying to out-argue a Slytherin will lead to no good.
198. Despite مقبول belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such.
199. I am not the wicked witch of the west.
200. -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.
posted by peppergirl30
Lily's POV

They need a horcrux? From me? But سے طرف کی Abby's smug look, I can tell that they're tactful planners. They must know that the Weasleys aren't going down with a fight: They've been expecting us. Suddenly I wish that I had listened to James, that I had just backed out of all of this. Tamara surely would do it, do this even better than I could.

I took a deep breath and answered them.
__________________________________________________

Rose's POV

I'm almost afraid to go to the Great Hall. Face all those people. People who know me, یا Hugo, یا Al.. somebody that's linked to me. Why did Hugo have...
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posted by bendaimmortal
The Weasley family has an owl named Errol and it's very old; it's moulting, and so exhausted that it can't even stand up after a flight - In fact it often downright loses consciousness after both long and short flights. If it even gets to where it's sent, because its eye vision has gotten so poor that it hits objects as it flies, which also can make it lose consciousness and could even kill it. Still the Weasley's keep using it for delievering their mail. In addition, their youngest son shows no compassion to it, calling it a "bloody bird", "menace" and "pathetic". And the Weasley parents bought...
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I got this off another website, check it out:

How do آپ know you're taking Harry Potter too seriously?

Your computer says "You've Got Mail" and آپ run outside looking for an owl.
آپ ask for a جھاڑو for Christmas.
آپ sort everyone آپ meet into the four Hogwarts houses.
آپ went out and bought the latest edition of the Webster's Dictionary because they added the word "muggle".
آپ were burned trying to get through the flames of your fireplace.
آپ were kicked out of the movie theater for standing on your chair, throwing your shoe at the screen and yelling "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!"
plese شامل میں hartclan for chance at deputy and 2 props..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Again, I'm really sorry for it coming late. I completely forgot but from now on, I promise I'll try to keep the contest going and try not to forget!

If you're interested in entering The پرستار of the Week Contest, only a few rules apply. آپ can only enter once for obvious reasons, آپ CAN vote for yourself, when entering, please include a pciture of your favourite character, آپ CAN تشہیر yourself i.e post of people's دیوار asking them to vote for you, making an artical saying why آپ should win etc.

After the contest has closed, the winner will be interviewed. The سوال will come threw...
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Hermione Granger is a Gryffindor student and the best witch in her سال at Hogwarts. She has lots of bushy brown hair, brown eyes and large front teeth, and frequently demonstrates her impressive knowledge. Her parents are Muggle dentists.


Discovered in chapter 6 The Journey from Platform Nine and Three-Quarters

Hermione quickly earns a reputation as a bossy know-it-all at Hogwarts. Harry and Ron initially try to ignore her



Discovered in chapter 10 Hallowe'en


When, on Hallowe’en, Ron calls Hermione “a nightmare,” Hermione spends the rest of the دن crying in the first-floor girls’ toilet....
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The name of the سٹریٹ, گلی where the Dursleys live is a reference to that most suburban plant, the سے privet, ساری پرائیوٹ bush, which makes neat hedges around many English gardens. I liked the associations with both suburbia and enclosure, the Dursleys being so smugly middle class, and so determinedly separate from the wizarding world. The name of their area is 'Little Whinging', which again sounds appropriately parochial and sniffy, 'whinging' being a colloquial term for 'complaining یا whining' in British English.

J.K Rowling:


Although I describe the Dursleys' house as big and square, as befitted Uncle Vernon's...
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posted by sharon-sel
J.K. Rowling's thoughts

This is a personal expression, which has nothing to do with tales of the dead.

Over the seventeen years that I planned and wrote the seven Harry Potter کتابیں (not to mention Quidditch through the Ages, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them and The Tales of Beedle the Bard), I generated a mass of information about the magical world that never appeared in the books. I liked knowing these things (which was fortunate, دیا that I couldn't stop my imagination spewing it all out) and often, when I needed a throwaway detail, I had it ready because of the background I had...
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posted by princessofmagic
Calypso's P.O.V.

Being dead wasn't bad at all. No sarcasm. When Calypso died, her soul landed in a big red room. No,it wasn't a room, but like a big red empty space. Different souls were cruised around her, to see who she was. Calyspo heard one soul say "Another one? Why are we getting so many kids?"

"Tiss a shame, there all dying far to young." another کہا sadly. Calypso raised an eyebrow. A lot of the souls left, but one remained. It was Dumbledor.

"Calypso Cryson. Seventh year, Slytherin. I remember آپ all right. Even though آپ did آپ best to avoid being seen سے طرف کی me, I noticed the resemblance...
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Credit: link. I didn't write it myself.

"I like taking pointless Facebook surveys as much as the اگلے person. But, since they’re mostly about kissing, I started to wonder how someone completely incapable of feeling love might handle such things. So I just had to tag my good pal Lord Voldemort in my most حالیہ survey. Here's what he had to say:

Was your last kiss standing up, sitting down, یا lying down?
The only kiss I believe in is the Dementor's kiss, and as I have very little soul remaining in my withered husk of a body, one would have little effect on me.

Whose بستر were آپ on last?
Nagini's,...
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posted by siriusblack4eva
Severus Snape was, in fact The Bravest Man I Ever Knew. "Albus Severus, آپ were named for two headmasters at Hogwarts, one of them was a Slytherin. And he was, probably, the bravest man I ever knew." Severus Snape fought for what was right. "A true wizard on the inside. Not afraid of what he had to do" "Long پہلے I had a teacher. A sallow skinned Slytherin with long black hair. I hated him and he seemed to hate me too. Though I branded him a coward, he was, in fact, the bravest man I ever knew."
So, I say, to Severus Snape, 'You were the Bravest Man I Ever Knew. Long live Snape! He was "a true wizard on the inside."'
To Snape!
posted by FashionBug12
Hermione dashed up the stairs to the Gryffindor commons. 
"That selfish pig. That sad excuse for a pure-blood! That-" 
Ron sauntered up behind her, and put his arms around her waist. During this particular year, (6th) he was being especially romantic. His red hair was illuminated سے طرف کی the آگ کے, آگ behind them.
"Oh!" Hermione gasped. "Hello Ronald, how's your evening?" 
He swayed her back and forth slowly, and kissed her cheek. "Better now your here."
She giggled. "Cheesy, yet effective." Hermione reached up and kissed Ron's cheek.
"So, why back so late, 'Mione?" Ron asked. "Studying for our imaginary...
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1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up سے طرف کی singing ساحل سمندر, بیچ Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death-Eater meetings and say آپ taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10. Pat him on...
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This is a پرستار fiction from Harry Potter's oldest son James point of view. Enjoy.


Last night I dreamed about going to hogwarts and beaing made fun of beacause I was not as great as my dad. It is hard beaing a famous wizards dad,everyone expects آپ to live up to his reputation, and to be just as great as he was. Well, at least I was not Albus who looks exactly like dad,I however, looked like..both of them. My eyes were shockingly green like dads, I had red hair(though not as fiery as my moms), I wore glasses like my dad but my general face structure was like my moms.
As I sat up on my بستر I...
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Hello everyone, this is a story from Harry's oldest son James point of view. Its my first پرستار fiction but i hope آپ enjoy!

Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermonie were over,them, mom,dad,Albus my younger brother,lily my baby sister and I were all at the میز, جدول chatting,well at least the adults were,me and my brother were just listening to the adults go on and on about there time at Hogwarts.
"-remember when we followed those spiders into the forest and met Aragog the giant spider?" my dad was asking Uncle Ron.
"Don't even remind me harry!" Uncle Ron exclaimed
"When was that?" Hermonie asked
"You would not remember...
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Credit: mugglenet.com
I didn't write this, I just thought it was really funny.



1. "What did I ever do to y..oh, nevermind."

2. "Oh, ha ha, آپ got me!! Am I on Punk'd? Where's the camera guy, huh? Where!?"

3. "Wow, you're even dumber than آپ look, and that's saying something. What kind of idiot tells their victim what they're about to do?! I'm ready for آپ now!!" *Prepare yourself سے طرف کی getting into various Matrix positions, beckon him with one finger*

4. "And she's all 'F.Y.I., he's so into me and not you.' and I'm all 'Yeah, right, whatever.' Oh, I'm sorry! Did آپ say something?"

5. "Why do you...
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posted by Persephone713
September 1981
Godrics Hollow pub.

Lily was looking around as though she were scared of who may come knocking. It was an eerie night but the moon managed to peak between the clouds that were circulating above, then..the pub door opened and in walked her old friend Severus.

" Lily"..said Severus taken aback سے طرف کی her beauty in the gleam of the moonlight. Her pale silky smooth skin, Beautiful Autumn colored hair and مرکت, ایمرلڈ green eyes that sparkled like diamonds.

" You..you came" کہا Snape

"Of course" کہا Lily " I know آپ never...meant to call me what آپ did Sev, besides I might not have much time."...
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posted by LifesGoodx3
 Severus Snape
Severus Snape
Severus Snape was killed on May 2nd, 1998, سے طرف کی Voldemort. Voldemort killed him because he thought that Snape was the master of the Elder Wand, and if he killed him, then he would be the master.

Snape is a half-blood. He did not have a good childhood. It is possible that he was neglected at home. Also, he was bullied سے طرف کی James Potter and Sirius Black from the moment he started attending the school. Taking the bullying to far once, Sirius almost led Snape to a certain death. Sirius told Snape about the hidden passageway under the Whomping Willow, which led to the Shrieking Shack. There Remus Lupin...
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I don't consider the Harry Potter Wiki as reliable. Because according to its canon policy: if Rowling hasn't specifically denied something about a film in the کتابیں یا in other words, whatever the films say is to be first and foremost promoted in the مضامین as a canon fact instead of the books' facts.

In my logic it should be the other way around. That the books' canon should be promoted first and foremost - exactly becasuse the کتابیں are the tier 1 canon and the فلمیں only the tier 2 یا 3 even - and because we can not be sure what about the films are from Rowling's hints and what are just...
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posted by emilykuru
Fanfiction:

edward-bella vs harry-ginny

Edward and bella go to a railway station during one rainy دن in london. They meet harry and ginny there,

( bella is not changed into a vampire yet )

Edward: bella love, close your eyes please!

Bella: why edward?

(thinks to himself)

Edward : just yesterday I had promised her that she was the prettiest one I have ever seen, but here here is ginny who looks so pretty.
And bella should better stay away from harry, یا she will ditch me like jake..

( meanwhile harry is using legilimence when edward is busy thinking )

Harry: well, why am I going to eye a crackpot...
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