Funny Excerpts from the First Book

"Oh, are آپ a prefect, Percy? آپ should have کہا something, we had no idea."
"Hang on I think I remember him saying something about it, once..."
"Or twice-"
"A minute-"
"All summer-"

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"So light a fire!" Harry choked.
"Yes...of course...but there's no wood!" Hermione cried, wringing her hands.
"HAVE آپ GONE MAD!" Ron bellowed. "ARE آپ A WITCH یا NOT!

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Everybody finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left singing along to a very slow funeral march.

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Dudley looked a lot like Uncle Vernon. He had a large گلابی face, not much neck, small watery blue eyes, and thick blonde hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head. Aunt گہرے نیلے رنگ, پیتونیا often کہا that Dudley looked like a baby angel. Harry often کہا that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig.

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Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides.
"So-after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating-"
"Jordan!" growled Professor McGonagall.
"I mean, after that open and revolting foul-"
"Jordan, I'm warning you-"
"All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure..."

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"They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first دن at Stonewall," [Dudley] told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?"
"No, thanks," کہا Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick."

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"You haven't got a letter on yours", George observed. "I suppose she [Mrs.Weasley] thinks آپ don't forget your name. But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge."

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"Sir — Professor Dumbledore? Can I ask آپ something?"
"Obviously, you’ve just done so," Dumbledore smiled. “You may ask me one مزید thing, however."
"What do آپ see when آپ look in the mirror?"
"I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks."
Harry stared.
"One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books."

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"Fred, آپ next," the plump woman said.
"I'm not Fred, I'm George," کہا the boy. "Honestly, woman, آپ call yourself our mother? Can't آپ tell I'm George?"

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"And what if I wave my wand and nothing happens?" [Harry]
"Throw it away and مککا, عجیب الخلقت him in the nose," suggested Ron.

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One morning in mid-December, Hogwarts woke to find itself covered in several feet of snow. The lake froze solid and the Weasley twins were punished for bewitching several snowballs so that they followed Quirrell around, bouncing off the back of his turban.

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"So آپ mean the Stone's only محفوظ as long as Quirrell stands up to Snape?" کہا Hermione in alarm.
"It'll be gone سے طرف کی اگلے Tuesday," کہا Ron.

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"Now, آپ two - Behave yourselves. If I get one word that you've blown up a toilet یا - " [Mrs. Weasley]
"Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet."
"Great idea though, thanks, Mum."

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Speaking quietly so that no one else would hear, Harry told the other two about Snape's sudden, sinister desire to be a Quidditch referee.
"Don't play," کہا Hermione at once.
"Say you're ill," کہا Ron.
"Pretend to break your leg," Hermione suggested.
"Really break your leg," کہا Ron.

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"See?" کہا Hermione, when Harry and Ron had finished. "The dog must be guarding Flamel's Sorcerer's Stone! I bet he asked Dumbledore to keep it محفوظ for him, because they're دوستوں and he knew someone was after it, that's why he wanted the Stone moved out of Gringotts!"
"A stone that makes سونا and stops آپ from ever dying!" کہا Harry. "No wonder Snape's after it! Anyone would want it."
"And no wonder we couldn't find Flamel in that Study of حالیہ Developments in Wizardry," کہا Ron. "He's not exactly حالیہ if he's six hundred and sixty-five, is he?"

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Harry left the locker room alone some time later, to take his Nimbus Two Thousand back to the broomshed. He couldn't ever remember feeling happier. He'd really done something to be proud of now - no one could say he was just a famous name any more. The evening air had never smelled so sweet. He walked over the damp grass, reliving the last گھنٹہ in his head, which was a happy blur: Gryffindors running to lift him onto their shoulders; Ron and Hermione in the distance, jumping up and down, Ron cheering through a heavy nosebleed.

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"It bit me!" he said, دکھانا them his hand, which was wrapped in a bloody handkerchief.
"I'm not going to be able to hold a quill for a week. I tell you, that dragon's the most horrible animal I've ever met, but the way Hagrid goes on about it, you'd think it was a fluffy little bunny rabbit. When it bit me he told me off for frightening it. And when I left, he was singing it a lullaby."

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"Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won't they?" کہا Hermione as they got off the train and joined the crowd thronging toward the enchanted barrier. "When they hear what آپ did this year?"
"Proud?" کہا Harry. "Are آپ crazy? All those times I could've died, and I didn't manage it? They'll be furious..."

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"There was a horrible smell in the باورچی خانے, باورچی خانہ اگلے morning when Harry went for breakfast. It seemed to be coming from a large metal tub in the sink. He went to have a look. The tub was full of what looked like dirty rags swimming in grey water.
"What's this?" he asked Petunia.
"Your new school uniform," she said.
"Oh," he said. "I didn't realise it had to be so wet."

credit - Mugglenet