Dr. Allison Cameron: [surprised] آپ have your cane....
Dr. Gregory House: What is it with آپ people? I don't use the cane, you're shocked. I use the cane...
Ezra Powell: I don't regret what I did. Informed consent - patient rights - holds back research.
[Cameron, viciously and quickly, slices a piece of skin off Powell's arm. Powell cries out in pain]
Ezra Powell: What the hell are آپ doing?
Dr. Allison Cameron: Informed consent is holding back our diagnosis.
Dr. Gregory House: [House sees the Ducklings looking like crap after an all-nighter] What have آپ been doing all night?
Dr. Allison Cameron: Jello shots and wild sex, what else?
Dr. Allison Cameron: [to House] Why'd آپ have look up that article
Dr. Gregory House: Didn't آپ find it interesting?
Dr. Allison Cameron: He injected newborn babies with radioactive agents just to see if they'd urethral reflux.
Dr. Gregory House: He was curious.
Dr. Allison Cameron: I can't do this.
[leaves]
Dr. Gregory House: Drama queen.
Dr. Gregory House: We can legally assume that he'd consent to whatever a reasonable person would consent to.
Dr. Allison Cameron: And a reasonable person would obviously consent to being put in a coma against their will just to satisfy your curiosity.
Dr. Gregory House: I try to kill him, you're mad. I don't kill him, you're mad.
Dr. Allison Cameron: [to House] Head is clean. آپ were wrong, his faculties are intact.
Dr. Gregory House: Too bad. If his brain were addled, we wouldn't have to listen to anything he says.
Dr. Allison Cameron: [to Ezra] آپ want us to fail?
Ezra Powell: No, but آپ will.
Dr. Allison Cameron: [about Ezra] He says no مزید tests. He wants to die, and he wants us to help him do it.
Dr. Gregory House: And I want to play a little game I like to call, "Block My Spike", with Misty Mae.
Dr. Gregory House: [to Cameron] His دل rate barely got above 90.
Dr. Allison Cameron: He can't breathe. There's too much fluid in his lungs.
Dr. Gregory House: [in a sarcastic tone] Really? He's got fluid in his lungs, whatever are going to do? Oh, yeah, now I remember. Put him on a treadmill and run him like one of his rats on a wheel.
"House M.D.: Half-Wit (#3.15)" (2007)
Dr. Gregory House: آپ two شاور together?
[both have wet hair]
Dr. Allison Cameron: No!
Dr. Robert Chase: No!
Dr. Gregory House: [to Foreman] Double negative, that's a yes.
Dr. Eric Foreman: He paged us at five in the morning for that? I'm going back to bed, distonia's not life threatening, who needs a panel to take care of it...
Dr. Cameron: Takes conilizopan for seizures he has from a bus accident when he was ten.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Then we treat with Benstrupine.
Dr. Robert Chase: [enters] What's up?
Dr. Cameron: 35 سال old savant, distonia.
Dr. Robert Chase: Pfft. I'm going back to bed.
Dr. Gregory House: [appears] Where're آپ going?
Dr. Robert Chase: Uh... bathroom. It can wait.
Dr. Eric Foreman: There is no case, House. Even if distonia was a big medical mystery, it's not this time.
Dr. Gregory House: [shocked] And you're not intruiged as to how a perfectly healthy ten سال old boy with no prior musical training gets into an accident on his way to school and can suddenly play the piano?
[Chase reaches across for the bag of breakfast, House takes it with his cane]
Dr. Robert Chase: We have to solve a 25 سال old case before breakfast?
Dr. Gregory House: [looks at Chase and Cameron and their wet hair] آپ two شاور together?
Dr. Cameron, Dr. Robert Chase: NO!
Dr. Gregory House: [looks at Forman] Double negative. It's a yes.
[Forman stares at Chase and Cameron]
Dr. Robert Chase: آپ can't just randomly stab the temporal lobe and hope آپ hit the right spot.
Dr. Gregory House: I'll only take little tiny pieces.
Dr. Allison Cameron: Until what?
Dr. Gregory House: Until I find the problem.
Dr. Allison Cameron: یا آپ kill him.
Dr. Gregory House: No, I'll keep going even if I killed him.
Dr. Gregory House: Twenty seconds. Pretty good.
Dr. Allison Cameron: For what?
Dr. Gregory House: The time it took آپ to go from hard-ass to human being.
Dr. Allison Cameron: He's not smiling.
Dr. Robert Chase: I wonder if he has teeth.
Dr. Gregory House: [finds the needle the Cameron was going to use to draw his blood] A little whorish to kiss and stab.
Dr. Allison Cameron: آپ kissed back.
Dr. Gregory House: I didn't want آپ to die without knowing the feeling. Actually no woman should die without knowing the feeling.
Dr. Allison Cameron: You're just looking for a puzzle to distract آپ from your own situation.
Dr. Gregory House: You're right. He's dead. Let's go home.
Dr. Allison Cameron: [searching House's place] I'll take in here. Bedroom's down the hall.
Dr. Robert Chase: You've been here?
Dr. Allison Cameron: Where else would the bedroom be?
Dr. Robert Chase: Come with?
Dr. Allison Cameron: You're scared of him catching us breaking into his home, but you're not scared of him catching us doing it in his bed?
Dr. Robert Chase: If I'm gonna get fired anyway...
Dr. Eric Foreman: He was testing blood in the clinic. Don't think it was a patient's blood.
Dr. Allison Cameron: Why? Was it green?
"House M.D.: Finding Judas (#3.9)" (2006)
Dr. Eric Foreman: [about the patient, Alice] She's six. Six-year-olds don't get gallstones.
Dr. Gregory House: So, she didn't have pancreatitis?
Dr. Allison Cameron: Your theory is an invisible gallstone?
Dr. Robert Chase: His theory correctly predicted the pancreatitis.
Dr. Eric Foreman: [to Chase] آپ might wanna wait until he actually tell us his theory before آپ start kissing his theory's ass.
Dr. Robert Chase: I wasn't kissing his ass.
Dr. Eric Foreman: It just looked that way from our angle. آپ on your knees, House bending over.
Dr. Robert Chase: He predicted the pancreatitis.
Dr. Allison Cameron: It's his dad's fault.
Dr. Robert Chase: My dad was an ass.
Dr. Allison Cameron: But آپ did everything he wanted آپ to and in return, آپ got everything آپ wanted.
Dr. Robert Chase: Yeah, it's that simple.
Dr. Allison Cameron: His strategy worked. Dad got him a cushy job, paid for his cushy life.
Dr. Robert Chase: Cut me out of his cushy will.
Dr. Eric Foreman: I told you, just his nature. Poor guy's hardwired to kiss ass.
Dr. Allison Cameron: Allergic reaction is 100% times مزید likely with یا without a history. Fever and anemia could've been symptoms of pancreatitis.
[talks on cell phone]
Dr. Allison Cameron: Hello? Thank your for your help.
[hangs up phone]
Dr. Allison Cameron: They froze my accounts.
Dr. Robert Chase: Thank آپ for your help?
Dr. Allison Cameron: It's not her fault.
Dr. Allison Cameron: Gonna break out the rubber hoses, the bright lights? I'm not gonna testify just because I have to borrow lunch money.
Michael Tritter: I know. Women don't give up on guys that they're in love with.
Dr. Allison Cameron: I'm not in love with House.
Michael Tritter: A guy as unhinged and unethical does what he wants with no concern for others, but آپ stand سے طرف کی him.
Dr. Allison Cameron: That can't just be loyality and respect?
Michael Tritter: No.
Dr. Allison Cameron: I'm a girl, so I must be in love with him.
Michael Tritter: Not because you're a girl. Because 10 years ago, آپ got an "A" in calculus until آپ ratted yourself out, showed your professor a mistake he missed, because آپ married a man...
Dr. Allison Cameron: [angry tone] Don't go there!
Michael Tritter: آپ used to be someone who did the right thing. House has changed you. Do آپ think it's all been for the better?
[Cameron walks out of the room]
Dr. Allison Cameron: [when Alice is in the operating room] Are آپ saying she never had Reye's? We just put that girl through excruciating pain.
Dr. Robert Chase: Pain wasn't House's fault. Even if the clot was a reaction to what we gave her, we still have to...
Dr. Gregory House: [angry tone] I don't need آپ to cover my ass! What I need is my Vicodin! Two pills every six hours like I'm on an allowance. She's دیا the cop leverage over medical decisions. What the hell, why don't we get a plumber in here, ask his opinion?
Dr. Allison Cameron: Tritter released our bank accounts.
Dr. Gregory House: Horrible, horrible news. Wow! I'm glad we didn't let that fester.
Dr. Robert Chase: [when Tritter released Chase, Cameron, and Foreman's accounts] Maybe he wants us to think that one of us talked.
Dr. Eric Foreman: It worked.
Dr. Allison Cameron: آپ were with him.
Dr. Robert Chase: We were all with him.
Dr. Eric Foreman: We weren't laughing with him.
Dr. Eric Foreman: [after House yells at them] He's yelled at us before.
Dr. Allison Cameron: 'Cause he thought our theories were dumb, not because our theories were sending him to jail.
[Chase is playing with House's laser pointer]
Dr. Eric Foreman: He's going through withdrawal, could be causing mild paranoia. It'll pass, we just have to suffer through it.
Dr. Allison Cameron: We never ruled out allergy.
Dr. Eric Foreman: We gave her drugs, she had no negative reaction.
Dr. Allison Cameron: We cut open her belly, she got a rash on her belly. We did a scratch test on her back, she got a rash on her back. I know House ruled out mojo, but it can't be a coincidence.
[Chase points the laser pointer at Foreman]
Dr. Robert Chase: Little late to be playing differental games, isn't it?
Dr. Eric Foreman: [shields his eyes] Get that thing away from me! I don't wanna get burned.
Dr. Robert Chase: Laser pointers don't burn you, genius.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Skin, no. Retina, yes.
Dr. Robert Chase: آپ don't trust my aim? Maybe آپ should cover any sensitive...
[thinks for a minute, then has an epiphany. He puts down the laser pointer]
Dr. Robert Chase: He was wrong about the puppies!
[jumps from his نشست and races out of the room]
"House M.D.: Act Your Age (#3.19)" (2007)
Dr. Allison Cameron: She's being abused.
Dr. Eric Foreman: A bloody t-shirt doesn't equal abuse. Kids get hurt all the time.
Dr. Robert Chase: That amount of blood?
Dr. Eric Foreman: Oh, crap. آپ two are agreeing again.
Dr. Allison Cameron: If menstruating is a sign of brain cancer, then I should be on chemo right now.
Dr. Gregory House: That's ridiculous. You're way too skinny to be menstruating.
Dr. Gregory House: آپ guys are idiots.
Dr. Allison Cameron: Why? Because we stayed up all night doing exactly what آپ told us to do?
Dr. Gregory House: No. Because آپ stayed up all night doing exactly what I told آپ to and آپ have nothing to دکھائیں for it.
Dr. Eric Foreman: We've eliminated dozens of wrong answers.
Dr. Gregory House: I asked آپ what two plus two equals and a دن later آپ tell me not 25.
Dr. Allison Cameron: He went home.
Dr. Gregory House: Work smart, not hard.
Dr. Allison Cameron: You're intentionally punishing us.
Dr. Gregory House: سے طرف کی making آپ do your job? Does sound kinda cruel, doesn't it?
Dr. Gregory House: Somebody better be dying.
Dr. Allison Cameron: Lucy's big brother has a crush on me, so he bit the crap out of Chase.
Dr. Gregory House: Not interested.
Dr. Robert Chase: Figured you'd like to know when one of your employees gets attacked سے طرف کی a sociopath.
Dr. Gregory House: Bees یا monkeys, yes. Sociopaths, no.
Dr. Allison Cameron: Before آپ came here, did anybody hurt you? Make آپ bleed?
Dr. Allison Cameron: I'm gonna need to look in your vagina now, do آپ understand? I'm a doctor so it's okay.
"House M.D.: Whac-A-Mole (#3.8)" (2006)
Dr. Eric Foreman: [House is writing down something] What are آپ writing?
Dr. Gregory House: Nothing.
Dr. Robert Chase: If آپ know the diagnosis, why don't you...?
Dr. Gregory House: [finishes writing] How are آپ gonna learn to swim unless I take off your floaties and throw آپ into shark-infested waters?
[licks the envelope]
Dr. Allison Cameron: آپ can't know what's wrong after a 30-second perusal of his file.
Dr. Gregory House: Apparently, آپ can't. Now what's a game without rules? Uh, no tagbacks, no biting, آپ get one test each and the clock runs until lunch.
[writes something on the envelope; walks over to the whiteboard]
Dr. Gregory House: If I'm right, he'll still be alive. If I'm wrong, it's a very cruel game.
[places the envelope on the whiteboard with a magnetic paperclip. On the envelope written is "THE GAME IS A ITCHY FOOT."]
Dr. Allison Cameron: [when House gets a new cane] Nice cane.
Dr. Gregory House: If I know what آپ mean.
Dr. Robert Chase: [about Jack's test results] One of آپ two screwed up.
Dr. Eric Foreman: No.
Dr. Allison Cameron: Not a chance.
Dr. Allison Cameron: [after she refuses to write a prescription for House. She goes into her locker and takes out a bottle of pills and tosses them to House] This'll tide آپ over. Takes the edge of my PMS, do wonders for you.
Dr. James Wilson: I have a patient. I need...
Dr. Gregory House: Not now!
Dr. Allison Cameron: I'll go.
[begins to leave]
Dr. Gregory House: You'll stay.
[Cameron stops]
Dr. Gregory House: Patient's dying.
Dr. James Wilson: So's mine.
Dr. Gregory House: Not in the اگلے hour.
Dr. Allison Cameron: آپ know آپ have a problem.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. It's got a badge and everything.
Dr. Allison Cameron: Are آپ okay?
Dr. Gregory House: I hurt my shoulder playing Fantasy Football.
"House M.D.: Sleeping Dogs Lie (#2.18)" (2006)
Dr. Allison Cameron: Is this just one of your experiments? آپ just wanted to see how I'd react to being screwed over سے طرف کی Foreman?
Dr. Gregory House: Nice idea, but no. This was just good پرانے زمانے, قدیم شکل laziness. Gotta hand it to Foreman though, he knew that آپ were a suck up and I don't give a crap. He successfully exploited us both.
Dr. Allison Cameron: Right. We're both victims. A simple heads up, that's all I needed. Maybe between your incredibly witty remarks about anal sex and Cuddy's breasts, آپ could have tipped me off.
Dr. Gregory House: Then I'd have Foreman pissed at me. And as annoying as آپ can be, at least I know you're not going to pop a ٹوپی in my ass. Witty, huh?
Dr. Cameron: [coming in, with Foreman and Chase, to announce a patient's symptoms] We've got rectal bleeding.
Dr. Gregory House: What, all of you?
Dr. Allison Cameron: Lovely. Revenge as motive for success.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Well, it doesn't have to be motive. But it sure tastes good.
Dr. Allison Cameron: If she talks, if she does the decent thing, then آپ don't get to solve your puzzle, your game's over, and آپ lose.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah, I want to save her. I'm morally bankrupt.
Dr. Allison Cameron: You're on his side?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Sides? This isn't dodgeball.
Dr. Allison Cameron: Do آپ have any idea what it feels like to have a 6 inch hose shoved into your large intestine?
Dr. Gregory House: No, but I now have a much greater respect for whatever باسکٹ, باسکٹ بال player آپ dated in college.
"House M.D.: Deception (#2.9)" (2005)
Dr. Allison Cameron: It's the irony of change, they don't like other women in charge. What, آپ think it's something else?
Dr. Robert Chase: آپ sabotaged yourself. آپ went on a تاریخ with House, آپ slept with me. Putting آپ in charge of this department is like a sexual harassment suit waiting to happen.
Dr. Allison Cameron: Yeah, they're really worried that I'm going to create a hostile work environment.
Dr. Robert Chase: Maybe that's the problem. Being in charge means having say no to House. Would آپ hire آپ for that?
Dr. Allison Cameron: [looking through Anica's home] There's even کتابیں in the bathroom
Dr. Gregory House: Well either she's very smart, یا she has a severe fiber deficiency.
Dr. Allison Cameron: She's got an appointment with her ophthalmologist on Tuesday and an appointment with her gynecologist on Thursday. Multiple appointments with multiple doctors, symptom of Munchausen's.
Dr. Gregory House: Or... just thinking outside the box here, she has a vagina and trouble reading.
Dr. Allison Cameron: [to a suspected Munchhausens patient] This is a consent form to stick a wire into your brain. It's important for hospitals to get these signed for procedures that are completely unnecessary.
Dr. Cameron: How would آپ describe my leadership skills?
Dr. Gregory House: Nonexistent... otherwise, excellent.
Dr. Cameron: There's مزید to being a leader than being a jerk!
Dr. Gregory House: The world will never know.
"House M.D.: Fools for Love (#3.5)" (2006)
Dr. Gregory House: [about Wilson] If he's not hitting that, why is she here?
Dr. Allison Cameron: Because I'm hitting that, and it's totally hot.
Dr. Allison Cameron: 20-year-old married African-American female couldn't breathe. Anaphylaxis-like throat swelling.
Dr. Gregory House: Children?
Dr. Allison Cameron: آپ think pregnancy would explain the...
Dr. Gregory House: It explains the marriage. Who the hell gets married at 20?
Dr. Gregory House: [about Wilson, who's talking to a nurse] Who's he talking to?
Dr. Allison Cameron: What?
Dr. Gregory House: It's got an ass. Technically, that makes it a who.
Dr. Gregory House: How is that unethical? It'll lead to a diagnosis.
Dr. Allison Cameron: It's leading to the torture of a husband on the off-chance he'll allow a procedure on another person.
Dr. Gregory House: Which will lead to a diagnosis. Didn't I just say that?
Dr. Robert Chase: Give it up. Foreman and Cameron are too ethical and I'm too scared of getting sued.
Dr. Robert Chase: We can't babysit House all day.
Dr. Allison Cameron: I'll tell Cuddy to put a nurse سے طرف کی his room.
Dr. Gregory House: Why does he have it? What does it tell us?
Dr. Allison Cameron: Small cell vasculitis?
Dr. Gregory House: Good. Now let's hear it again, but now with a مزید environmental یا infectious feeling.
