Found this on www.funny.com. I find a lot of things there that I post...
A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The دن came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing آپ know of?'
The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
'That's very good!' replied the interviewer. 'And, now آپ sir?', he asked the سیکنڈ man.
'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and آپ don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'
'Excellent!' کہا the interviewer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very مقبول cliché for speed.' He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.
'Well, out at my dad's ranch, آپ step out of the house and on the دیوار there's a light switch. When آپ flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the بارن, گودام comes on in less than an instant. 'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. 'It's hard to beat the speed of light,' he said.
Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.
Old Bubba replied, 'After hearing the گزشتہ three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'
'WHAT!?' کہا the interviewer, stunned سے طرف کی the response.
'Oh sure', کہا BUBBA. 'You see, the other دن I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, یا TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already s**t my pants.'
BUBBA is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!
A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The دن came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing آپ know of?'
The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
'That's very good!' replied the interviewer. 'And, now آپ sir?', he asked the سیکنڈ man.
'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and آپ don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'
'Excellent!' کہا the interviewer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very مقبول cliché for speed.' He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.
'Well, out at my dad's ranch, آپ step out of the house and on the دیوار there's a light switch. When آپ flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the بارن, گودام comes on in less than an instant. 'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. 'It's hard to beat the speed of light,' he said.
Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.
Old Bubba replied, 'After hearing the گزشتہ three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'
'WHAT!?' کہا the interviewer, stunned سے طرف کی the response.
'Oh sure', کہا BUBBA. 'You see, the other دن I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, یا TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already s**t my pants.'
BUBBA is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!
Taylor's POV:
The اگلے night I had a bad dream,I did all week,But Friday's scared me most:
I dreamed I stood in the kitchen,The lights were kinda blueish blackish.I heard a guy say:
Guy:Hello Taylor.
The guy was my dad
Taylor:DAD?*Turns around*What?
Dad:STOP!If آپ step any closer,Lizzy...DIES!
Taylor:NO!!!LIZZY!!!
Dad:Taylor,Since the police saw that there was my finger prints.I will be going to prison tomorrow!So I wanna make this last!One way to keep your friend ALIVE,Is to walk outside...Barefoot...And stay all night!GOOD BYE!*Disappears*
I woke up,Opened the door,Walked down the hall,outside.Gulping,I stepped out.It was very cold!It was snow!I couldn't do it!But I had to!
*morning at recess*Nobody's POV
Lizzy:TAYLOR!WHERE ARE YOU?WE'VE BEEN LOOKING EVERY WHERE!*Sees Taylor and gasps*Taylor?
*Shakes*Taylor!WAKE UP!!Whats this?*Sees a scratch*AMY!!MRS AMY!!
The اگلے night I had a bad dream,I did all week,But Friday's scared me most:
I dreamed I stood in the kitchen,The lights were kinda blueish blackish.I heard a guy say:
Guy:Hello Taylor.
The guy was my dad
Taylor:DAD?*Turns around*What?
Dad:STOP!If آپ step any closer,Lizzy...DIES!
Taylor:NO!!!LIZZY!!!
Dad:Taylor,Since the police saw that there was my finger prints.I will be going to prison tomorrow!So I wanna make this last!One way to keep your friend ALIVE,Is to walk outside...Barefoot...And stay all night!GOOD BYE!*Disappears*
I woke up,Opened the door,Walked down the hall,outside.Gulping,I stepped out.It was very cold!It was snow!I couldn't do it!But I had to!
*morning at recess*Nobody's POV
Lizzy:TAYLOR!WHERE ARE YOU?WE'VE BEEN LOOKING EVERY WHERE!*Sees Taylor and gasps*Taylor?
*Shakes*Taylor!WAKE UP!!Whats this?*Sees a scratch*AMY!!MRS AMY!!
When I was “CLEANING OUT MY CLOSET, I found an old CD of Eminem aka “THE REAL SLIM SHADY”. I started listening to it and “SANG FOR THE MOMENT". I have always been a “STAN” of Eminem and WITHOUT HIM(ME) I think I might LOSE MYSELF(YOURSELF). And, “TILL I COLLAPSE” I want to fly like a “MOCKING BIRD” یا even better as “SUPERMAN, because “WHEN IM GONE” I want to let everyone know that my life was “BEAUTIFUL”. I am “NOT AFRAID” to hit “ROCK BOTTOM” because I was born “LIKE A TOYSOLDEIR
The "Rick Roll" Hotline: 772-257-4501
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Have your دوستوں call 772-257-4501 for a special message from a certain 80's musician...
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April Fools دن Assistance Hotline: 413-497-0033
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Celebrate our پسندیدہ holiday (or any دن for that matter) with the April Fool's دن Assistance Hotline: 413-497-0033. Perfect for pranks!
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Prankster's Assistant Hotline: 781-452-0842
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Use the Prankster's Assistant Hotline for your pranks! 781-452-0842.
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The Urgent Message Hotline: 240-258-4005
(i had to add that extra gunk) XD
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Have your دوستوں call 772-257-4501 for a special message from a certain 80's musician...
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April Fools دن Assistance Hotline: 413-497-0033
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Celebrate our پسندیدہ holiday (or any دن for that matter) with the April Fool's دن Assistance Hotline: 413-497-0033. Perfect for pranks!
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Prankster's Assistant Hotline: 781-452-0842
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Use the Prankster's Assistant Hotline for your pranks! 781-452-0842.
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The Urgent Message Hotline: 240-258-4005
(i had to add that extra gunk) XD
I know some سوالات about canada that non-canadians ask about Canada, i'm going to tell آپ the جوابات
first, آپ can NOT see polar bears in the سٹریٹ, گلی and we don't ride the them either we use CARS.
second, we live in houses, not igloos we would probably freeze after awhile
Thats all i know but know آپ won't think canadians live in igloos and if Miley cyrus is reading this and did say canada sucks,WELL IT DOESEN'T SUCK!!!!
IT ROCKS!!! i'm proud to live in Canada.
:)
first, آپ can NOT see polar bears in the سٹریٹ, گلی and we don't ride the them either we use CARS.
second, we live in houses, not igloos we would probably freeze after awhile
Thats all i know but know آپ won't think canadians live in igloos and if Miley cyrus is reading this and did say canada sucks,WELL IT DOESEN'T SUCK!!!!
IT ROCKS!!! i'm proud to live in Canada.
:)