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posted by adaug
آپ can only live once, but if آپ do it right, once is enough. -Mae West.
I didn't believe that the first time I heard it,but one tiny mistake,can change your live...Forever.
April 19,1999.
The clock read 7:43,I got out of bed.I was late for school.When I left,I didn't say bye to mom یا dad.I just left.On the way there,I remembered a physics test I had to take,and if I failed it,I got an F in physics!So,at my lunch hour,I went to the library.I saw my two دوستوں already studying.I went over there and we started laughing and talking,but the librarian told us to be quiet.Then she went in the hall.Then I heard POW!BANG!
Guns.
The librarian ran back in,she was shaking.
"Two men...With guns!Hide!Under the desks!"She demanded.Everyone did as told.Then,BANG!They came in.With guns pointed at tables.They walked around and I could hear glass breaking,I started crying.
"We planned on doing this for 15 years!When آپ used to make fun of us!"One guy said.Then,my friend whispered something that changed my life.
"Stephine,I'll take a bullet for you."Jacob said.I bowed my head to pray.
"God,If آپ let us live,I promise I'll be a better person.You can have my body.No مزید drinking,late-night-partying.Please."I begged.Then they came to our table.
"Man.I'm out of bullets."
"Me too."
"We'll be back!"
But they didn't
posted by invadercalliope
Oh-o-o-oa
Oh-o-o-o

Oh-o-o-oa
Oh-o-o-o

Sweet little bumble bee I know what آپ want from me
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Sweet little bumble bee مزید than just a fantasy
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da

My دل skips a beat
When آپ walk in the room
I go boom boom boom
You go zoom zoom zoom
You're my playboy, playtoy
Love and my friend
I wanna be with آپ until the end

I give my دل and my soul to you
To make آپ see its true
Im so confused, baby, cant آپ see
Please come rescue me

Sweet little bumble bee I know what آپ want from me
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Sweet little bumble...
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The following is a very fake letter! Trust me!

To the people of the future,
    My name is Andrea Reese. I live in Burke Clouds. I live with my mom (Kayla), my dad (George), my cousin (Annie), my two sisters (Ally and Aria). I have a brother (Chance) who is 18 and in collage. He’s nice to me, unlike my friend, Alexis, brother. I love my family. I go to Franco Bud Rose Middle School. I am happy. But, I have a serious cancer. It has no none cure, no chemo can cure it. I’ve had it for a سال and a half and have been alive. My time is limited here, and I wanted to put this...
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posted by invadercalliope
Ingredients:
•4 cups steamed Japanese rice
•strips of dried nori (seaweed)
•salt to taste
•black sesame seeds
•*for fillings:
•ume (pickled plum) / grilled salted سامن, سالمن (small chunks) / kombu no tsukudani
Preparation:
Cook steamed rice. Put about a half cup of steamed چاول in a چاول bowl. Wet your hands in water so that the چاول won't stick. Rub some salt on your hands. Place the steamed چاول on your hand and put your پسندیدہ filling, such as kombu-no-tsukudani, umeboshi, and grilled سامن, سالمن on the rice. Push the filling into the چاول lightly. Hold the چاول between your palms. Form the چاول into a round, a triangle, یا a cylinder سے طرف کی pressing lightly with your both palms. Roll the چاول ball on your hands a few times, pressing lightly. لپیٹ, لفاف کریں the چاول ball with a strip of nori یا sprinkle some sesame seeds on them.
voice: NEW FROM WHAT EVA THIS IS IT IS....... THE WHAT EVER IT IS!!!!!!!! This is made in the USA (china) made totaly سے طرف کی americans (aliens) and it total IS NOT toxic!!!!!

Woman: I got my son the what ever it is for his berthday and he...

voice: LOVED IT!

Girl's friend: آپ got the what ever it is?

Girl: ya. And I could not LIVE without my what ever it is.

Girl's friend: what does it do?

Girl: I don't know. But I love it!

Voice: the what ever it is is only $20 plus $100 shiping and handleing! but if آپ call right now we will also send آپ a what ever آپ call it for double the price even though it is the same thing! we will also double it! Just pay $10000000 مزید dollers shiping and handleing! آپ GET IT ALL!!!!! the what ever it is , the what ever آپ call it! CALL NOW!!!

other voice: To get the what ever it it and what ever آپ call it have آپ credit cards ready and get ready for bankruptsey! CALL NOW!!!
posted by invadercalliope
CALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOO
OOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!
HI EVERYONE I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
ITS THE THIRD EPISODE!
HURRAY!
TODAYS A VERY SPECAIL دن BECAUSE I AFISHALY!
WELL TODAY OUR GUEST سٹار, ستارہ IS......GIR!
BUM BUM B BUM!
Invader Calliope: HIIIIIII GIR!
Gir: HI!
Invader Calliope: Thats all آپ have to say! HI!
AT LEAST ZIM STAYED IN CHARACTER WHEN HE WAS ON THE SHOW!
Gir: Sorry but it's hard to stay in character and
Invader Calliope: AND!?! GIR EVERYONE LOVES آپ THE MOST آپ HAVE THE MOST پرستار GIRLS AND ZIM STAYED IN CHARACTER!
Oh no we are out of time good bye now and in joy the suprise picture!
The End!
Ok,Here are thingz that a am interested in!
Enjoy
Ok here are the biggest things i enjoy: Invader Zim,Video Games,Anime,softcore music,yaoi!
Here are some فلمیں i am interested in:Invader Dib,9,The nightmare before x-mas,corpse bride,the ring,paranormal activity,some عملی حکمت movies,titanic
Here is some موسیقی i'm interestes in:Gir,Invader Zim sound track,anime music,theme songs in tv shows,marilyn manson,my chemical romance,tokyo hotel,bella morte,drowning pool,evanescence
Here are some کتابیں i'm interested in:Anything Jhonen Vasquez,Manga,Invader Zim comics,batman comic books,animal books
posted by EmzLovesCheryl
Well, I'm bored, and depressed, so I've decided to فہرست all the things I hate. Well, all the things I hate that I can think of!


1. Fire.
2. Small spaces.
3. The sound آپ get when آپ scratch a balloon.
4. Balloons in general. But just the rubbery ones, آپ know, not the foily ones? Well I know what I mean anyway. :/
5. Nose bleeds.
6. Clowns.
7. Bullies and bullying.
8. School.
9. Spoilt bitches who think that everything is about them, and don't even think about others' feelings.
10. Seeing a loved one cry.
11. The awkward moments that seem to stalk my life.
12. Witnessing a situation that is nothing to do with you, and knowing that it's not going to end happily.
13. Having to exercise in in the boiling hot sun.
14. Those days when آپ just feel like total crap.
15. PE.
16. Sharp knives.
17. مچھلی fingers.
18. The majority of green vegetables.
19. Being alone outside in the dark.
20. Watching someone suffer.
posted by moodystuff449
Thing are going round and round my head, یا maybe my head is going round and round in things. -(Diana Wynne Jones)Howl's Moving Castle

Sophie, I'm dying of boredom in here, یا maybe just dying. -(Diana Wynne Jones)Howl's Moving Castle

"You must admit I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want." — Diana Wynne Jones (Howl's Moving Castle)

"’I think we ought to live happily ever after,’ and she thought he meant it. Sophie knew that living happily ever after with Howl would be a good deal مزید hair-raising than any storybook made it sound, though she was determined to try.

‘It should be hair-raising,’...
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posted by Blackteardrops
*** No offense to any one... Just randomness xD


If I Were a Boy PARODY

If I were a boy I would be gay
My guy liner would serve as a warning
I would تاریخ Adam Lambert
And he’d call me babe

And we would make out on stage
I'd kiss who I wanted
But I’d probably get confronted
No one would stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I would be gay
I would never تاریخ a girl
I swear I'd still love men

I'd watch Glee
'Cause I know it’s really awesome
When آپ watch a brand new one
I’d invite my دوستوں over
And I wouldn’t let much change but

If I were a boy
I would be gay
I’d come out of the closet
And I’d push...
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brick:butch i'm going to sleep and don't broke something
butch:wait now?
brick:yea so what?
butch:oh come on brick! we can have a party!
brick:party? butch i want a pease!
butch:ok آپ go...
(brick goes to his room)
butch:you leave your phone here brick? (took bricks phone) now let's send SMSes
(door گھنٹی, بیل rings)
butch:(looks in the hole) it's open
(mitch comes)
mitch:hey butch
butch:wow mitch wats up?
mitch:i just wanted my ball back (tooks his ball)
butch:hey what is in your pocket?
mitch:marker
butch:will آپ give it to me?
mitch:what you'll give?
butch:umm brick's hat?
mitch:i don't want...
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posted by greenstergirl
Chapter one
Okay this is a really random stroy but I was bored and I couldn't get this idea out of my head. In my opinion it is really badly written so sorry.

“Okay Class, آپ have the rest of the period to finish this quiz. This is the last grade before your midterm so work well, and remembers what we studied,” کہا my Mr. Grazing, my math teacher. He was the kind of teacher kids pick on and make fun of behind his back. I hate math, so I don’t care for him as a teacher much. He usually wears a sweater vest and weird 1950 glasses that squeeze his nose at the tip.

I stared at the Chapter...
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posted by Annacrombie
This is a true story that happened to me moments ago
____________________________________________________

I sat in my room, twenty past 11 trying to find مزید crap on the internet
I herd a loud noise downstairs, then a crash, a slam of door and some slurred words
My parents were outta town and my lil sis was at a sleep over, what the hell was going on?
I put my laptop down and grabbed the nearest item, which was a lamp,
My brother Luca, aged 21, walked into my room, i could smell the acahol in his breath
"Who da sexiest lil sod in the world? آپ are!" He pointed at me before colapsing on the floor,...
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User: So your a robot?


Cleverbot: No آپ are a robot times 1000000.


User: No آپ are a robot times 1000000.


Cleverbot: I am a human and آپ are a robot.


User: User: آپ robot.User: آپ robot.User: آپ robot.


Cleverbot: Hahahaha that was funny. آپ are the robot here.

User: User: آپ robot.User: آپ robot.User: آپ robot.

Cleverbot: No i'm not robot... آپ computer?

User: So your a robot?

Cleverbot: Yes I 'd like to know how I can have my own bot.

User: So آپ admit that your a robot?

Cleverbot: Yes. I am a robot.




Lol yes fail I know
i don't know if this is already on here. i feel lazy and don't feel like looking.

i found this on some joke website:

CAROLS FOR THE MENTALLY DISTURBED

SCHIZOPHRENIA: do آپ hear what i hear?

DEMENTIA: I think I'll be ہوم for Christmas

MANIC: deck the halls and walls and house and lawn and streets and stores and office and town and cars and busses and trucks and trees and آگ کے, آگ hydrants and...

PARANOID: santa claus is coming to get me

PERSONALITY DISORDER: آپ better watch out, I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna pout, maybe I'll tell آپ why

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER: jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
Capricorn.

Your element: Earth
Your ruling planets: Saturn
Symbol: The Goat
Your stone: Garnet
Life Pursuit: To be proud of their achievements
Vibration: Poweful resilient energy
Capricorn Secret Desire: to be admired سے طرف کی their family and دوستوں and the world at large

Description:
The sign of the high roller, Capricorn is regarded as the zodiac’s top, but also quiet, life and business achievers. But, there are two very different types of Capricorns.

The first is represented سے طرف کی the mountain goat, always climbing higher and higher; never content until reaching the top. The سیکنڈ is the garden goat,...
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My Experience Ok (: I've Walked In Too The کنسرٹ Center ...:) I've Sat Down!!!! I've Seen I Was 13 Rows Back From The Stage ..... I've Wated 1 گھنٹہ Omg I Got Extremely Exited Then He Came On Yay!!! Ok But Then It Wassss So Boring He Was Just Staining There Singing I've Tryed Going up Front Row Scruty Hunny Go Back To You're نشست Ooh K Then ڈریک Sad آپ Guys Could Come Front Row If U Want!!!!! Omg I Ran There ڈریک Got So Much Better Touching My Hand Connecting With The شائقین شائقین Was Singing Along Giving Him Flowers Stuffed Bares Sines We All Had Glow Sticks .:) [= Yeah We Loved It Let Me Know If You've Seen Him Live Thanks For Reading And You're Comments
To Deadly Quit

Emily and Katlyn were celebrating a pretty Valentine's دن together. Emily had cooked a stupid رات کے کھانے, شام کا کھانا and they ate on a log سے طرف کی candlelight.

"My darling," Katlyn said, stroking Emily's booty, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Emily. "It is but a quick token of my lesbian love."

Emily opened the box. Inside was a speedy snake! She gazed at it dreadfully. Then she gazed at Katlyn dreadfully. "It's iggnorant," Emily said. "Come here and let me quit you."

Just then, a dumb crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a smile that stretches ear to ear. "Your happiness will not...
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posted by EllentheStrange
ok,this is a clean one!I'm not letting David help me with it,so some of them will be crappy.

1.Burn the Justin bieber Posters
2.Grap a chair and chips and sit back and relax
3.Slap a person and say that آپ have tourettes
4.Do the moonwalk,frontwards!
5.Try giving an exorcism to a teddy bear.
6.Ask سوالات to a magic 8 ball and take the جوابات seriuosly.
7.Do the Lyn-Z Way backbend!
8.Cry when آپ find out that they don't have any My chemical Romance posters.
9.Freak out when آپ see yourself in the bathroom mirror.
10.Slap my brother David with a Hot Pocket for having fucked up thoughts :^D
11.Buy all the hair straightener and eyeliner so none of the emos have them (//_^)
12.Randomly freak out whenever Surfing Bird comes on the Radio
13.Hug a random person!
raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
brown paper packages tied up with strings
these are a few of my favourite things,

cream coloured ponies with crisp سیب, ایپل strudels doorbells and sleybells and snitzel with nudels
wild geese that fly with the moon with there wings these are a few of my favourite things,

girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
snow flakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
silver white winters that melt into springs
these are a few of my favourite things,

when the dog bites when the bee stings when Im feeling sad
I simply remember my favourite thing
and then I dont feel so bad
Chapter 3 The cult


“What are آپ on about?” I was shaking with anger. How dare she say what I am and what I'm not “Stuff you” I wanted to say much worse. I walked away from her. Suddenly James was in front of me, smirking at me then he slowly vanished. I had to get out of here. سے طرف کی the time I come back it will be too late.

I was walking down the empty سٹریٹ, گلی the sun had set already. How long have I been walking for? I did not even feel tired. Some how I ended up at the park... thinking of Hannah, I walked past where it all happened Hannah screams echoed inside my head. I felt nothing...
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