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posted by Alma_
-Get to know a دوستوں bookie and place bets for them. Insist on keeping half of any money they win.
-Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
-Call other people "Champ" یا "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."
-Drum on every available surface.
-Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
-Staple papers together in the middle of the page.
-Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
-Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
-Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
-Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
-Insist on giving weather forecasts in public. -Claim to be AMS certified.
-Surprise old friend's سے طرف کی visiting them at 3AM "to discuss old times".
-Insist on buying airplane tickets for دوستوں to "save them money." Make sure the plane departs at 5AM and the tickets are non-refundable. Point out that آپ didn't really save them any money.
-Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
-Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
-Set alarms for random times.
-Learn Morse code, and have conversations with دوستوں in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
-Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
-Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
-Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train اگلے Thanksgiving.
-Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.
Publicly investigate just how slowly آپ can make a "croaking" noise.
-Honk and wave to strangers.
-Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Safety Orange.
-Change channels five منٹ before the end of every show.
-Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
Wear your pants backwards.
-Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints سے طرف کی the cash register.
-Begin all your sentences with "Oh la la!"
-Rouse your roommate/spouse from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music".
-Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-landscape mode.
ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
dont use any punctuation
-Buy a large quantity of مالٹا, نارنگی traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
-Pay for your رات کے کھانے, شام کا کھانا with pennies.
-Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
-Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
-Write "X - Buried Treasure" in random spots on roadmaps.
-Explain to everyone آپ meet of your Kennedy assassination/UFO/OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
-Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do آپ hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
-Light road flares on a birthday cake.
-Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
-Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
-Demand that everyone address آپ as "Conquistador".
-Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
-At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
-When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells,
-Batman smells..." until physically restrained.
-Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
-As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
-Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
-Finish the 99 bottles of بیئر song.
-Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
-Pretend your ماؤس is a CB radio, and talk to it.
-Try playing the William Tell Overture سے طرف کی tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.
-Why walk when آپ can drive that half a block?
-Name your dog "Dog".
-Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
-Ask people what gender they are.
-Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what آپ think."
-Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
-Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.
-Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".
-Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that آپ don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
-Sculpt your hedges into anatomically suggestive shapes.
-Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
-Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as the Mr Rogers theme song.
-While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
-Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
-Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
-Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
-Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
-Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
-Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
-Wear a lot of cologne.
-Ask people if آپ may "interface" with them.
-Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing".
-Sing along at the opera.
-Mow your lawn with scissors.
-Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy".
-Ask the waitress for an extra نشست for your "imaginary friend".
-Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
-Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their جوابات in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".
-Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky وکٹ isn't cricket."
-Stare at static on the tv and claim آپ can see the "magic picture".
-Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
-Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
-Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying مزید any moment.
-Never make eye contact.
-Never break eye contact.
-Signal that a conversation is over سے طرف کی clamping your hands over your ears.
-Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
-Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
-Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
-Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
-Make appointments for the 31st of September.
-Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
-When asked to do things, repeat the instructions to the body parts involved. (ie. "Hand, will آپ please open the door.")
-When people ask آپ to do things, mutter under your breath, "This won't be neccessary where آپ are going."
-Wait until آپ get to work to shave.
-Tell small children that they don't look very promising.
added by AlixBreanne
added by 050801090907
added by randomgirl3000
Source: 9gag
added by franciska
added by Usui--takumi
added by XxKeithHarkinxX
added by Wendy99
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added by someone_save_me
added by Tamar20
added by myau
Source: Arthur تل, مول
added by LostieKilljoy
Source: Tumblr.com
آپ don't have to worry about 2012.


Here's a couple of reasons why:

1) The planets are not scheduled to align in 2012. In fact, there will be no major planetary alignments in the اگلے few decades. Even if there were, planetary alignment would have a negligible effect on Earth.

2) There are no planets یا asteroids that are set to crash into Earth. Astronomers are watching out for that sort of thing, and they haven't seen any.

3) The Mayan calendar will end in 2012. Rather than signifying the end of the world, what instead will happen is that the calendar will reset.

Read مزید at link
This young boy kept from sight
crying into the middle of the night
he fears that others will sense the shame
but was this boy really too blame?
this little boy who was full of belief
could not from him seem to find relief
he feels so dirty with his clothes which are tore
when he is being flung on the bedroom floor
this broken child lost his innocence at a very young age
through a trusted mans deliberate drunken rage
his little broken دل was full of pain
through the rest of his life it would stain
people would see the bruises that lay upon his face
he wanted and longed for his special place
while...
continue reading...
posted by ssook78
me: omg where are my keys *looks at sister* ......
*cuts her open and gets her guts out and finds my keys* there it is
mom: O_O
dad: o_o
brother: mommy!
me: uhhh hi?
sister: moves arms
me: heh heh *shoots my family*

































LALALA!















HEH HEH ITS OKAY LITTLE TEDDY BEAR! *twitches eyes*













o_o








hi








heh heh *rocks* i love آپ teddy
MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! he he lalalalalalala
rockysss lelele
hehehehehe
look over there
hehehehe
MWAHAHAHA MWAHAHAHAHA!
cat: meow!
me:huh no mr.whiskers its me ssook
my friend: AHHH!!!
o_o
Link I found this on: link

Just when we thought Facebook couldn’t impact our lives anymore, it found another way.

An Israeli couple has named their baby Like, after the Like button on Facebook. We’ve heard some unique names in our time, but this one is a bit silly. The couple claims they thought the name sounded “modern and innovative.”

Facebook did not pay the couple, obviously, but this incident shows how large a role social media play in our lives. اگلے thing آپ know, parents will start naming their children, Facebook. Wait, that actually happened earlier this year! A man in Egypt named his daughter Facebook to express “his joy at the achievements made سے طرف کی the January 25 youth.”

Now we turn to our community. What do آپ think of these names? What’s the most unusual name you’ve ever heard of?

Thanks for reading.
posted by EmzLovesCheryl
Isn't it amazing how song lyrics can describe exactly how آپ feel? آپ can listen to a song, and each word aches through your body like a personal message to you. Reminds آپ that someone understand your confusion, your hurt, your situation.


Isn't it brilliant when unintentionally آپ smile the biggest smile you've ever smiled. That smile that آپ thought آپ would never smile again.


Isn't it ridiculous how a friend can go from being a great friend, to a worst enemy overnight? آپ have one argument and "BAM"! آپ hate eachother, you've lost someone that used to make آپ smile, and now instead...
continue reading...
posted by Icepaw_Kenobi
1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If آپ push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If آپ pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless آپ keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing آپ were up there than up there wishing آپ were down here.

5. The ONLY time آپ have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big پرستار in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, آپ can actually watch...
continue reading...
posted by makaela2216
I was like tottaly walking in my backyard yesterday and saw a squirl.Is that normal??? i always thaught آپ should see squirls in space.
Don't ask why though, caus i realy don't know either.My دوستوں say that i'm delirous(or however آپ spell that word)But i disagree even though i have no clue what it means.(te-he.)
well my dads yelling at me to get off now....
SO bye. it says that i have to wright a longer مضمون so pleas exscuse all the periods.k?? bye..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................