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This is the real deal. Try ignoring it, and the first thing you'll notice is having a horrible دن starting tomorrow morning, and it only gets worse from there.


ARIES - The Aggressive (March 21 to April 19)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny... Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be 'Right'. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world.


TAURUS - The Tramp (April 20 to May 20)
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self-centered and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth!


GEMINI - The Twin (May 21 to June 20)
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good at confusing people. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock آپ out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosy. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.


CANCER - The Beauty (June 21 to July 22)
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer's love is one of a kind... Very romantic. Most caring person آپ will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative person, most are artists and insane, respectfully speaking. They perfected sex and do it often. Extremely random. An ultimate freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of the party. Most Cancers will take آپ under their wing and into their hearts where آپ will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compare. Spontaneous. Not a fighter, but will kick your پچھواڑے, گدا good if it comes down to it. Someone آپ should hold on to!


LEO - The Lion (July 23 to August 22)
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo's problem becomes everyone's problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.


VIRGO - The One that Waits (August 23 to September 22)
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything آپ ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but آپ will quickly lose their respect if آپ do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. They do not forgive and never forget. The one and only.


LIBRA - The Lame One (September 23 to October 22)
Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, funny and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person آپ will ever meet! However, not the kind of person آپ want to mess with... آپ might end up crying. Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful دوستوں to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone آپ want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Very creative. A hopeless romantic.


SCORPIO - The Addict (October 23 to November 21)
EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected سے طرف کی a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring.


SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One (November 22 to December 21)
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever. Loves deeply but at times will not دکھائیں it, feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not دکھائیں it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person آپ will ever meet! Amazing in bed!!! Not the kind of person آپ want to mess with- آپ might end up crying.


CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover (December 22 to January 19)
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy, but when they find a job یا something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he یا she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs in sports, especially Gemini's. Likes to cook but would rather go out. To eat at good restaurants. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart.


AQUARIUS - Does It in the Water (January 20 to February 18)
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Tries hard. Will take on any project. Proud of themselves in whatever they do. Messy and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when they're not sleeping. Extreme thinkers. Loves their pets usually مزید than their family. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain یا tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out.


PISCES - The Partner for Life (February 19 to March 20)
Caring and kind. Smart. Likes to be the center of attention. Very organized. High appeal to opposite sex. Likes to have the last word. Good to find, but hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. VERY caring. They always try to do the right thing and sometimes get the short end of the stick. They sometimes get used سے طرف کی others and get hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good sense of humor!! Thoughtful. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to others but needs to be choosy on who they allow their دوستوں to be.
posted by ultimatefredde
1. Guys for gods sake, dont pretend being something آپ aren´t girls have a sixth sense we don´t have and find out sooner یا later

2. Dance!

3.Flirt, they aren´t the only ones who should do this.

4.Tell her what آپ really enjoy in life

5.Help them out when needed.

6.Avoid playing those "Gay games" with your pals, it´s just not right

7.avoid grabbing your "parts" on public. Really.

8.Be original, with gifts, don´t just give flowers, یا take her to dinner, also sometimes a card یا a simple walk in the park is good to try

9.Be romantic and take shyness away

10. Express your feelings, آپ wont die...
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posted by JonasLuver1
Why Guys Love Girls:

1. The way they always smell good even if it’s just shampoo
2. The way they always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. The ease in which they fit into our ams
5. The way they kiss آپ ad make everything alright in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the it’s all worthwhile
8. The way they are always warm even if it’s minus 30 degrees
9. The way the look good no matter what they wear
10. The way she fished for compliments even though آپ both know she’s the most beautiful...
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posted by ilovetech29
1."My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."
2."Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."
3."Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."
4."Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."
5."Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a درخت and misplaced his hip."
6."John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."
7."Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part."
8."Megan...
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Just reading some of the Terminator Quotes through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!


Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash دن tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.


I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. آپ might get annoyed سے طرف کی it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
posted by lloonny
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a دل attack. His دل isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first آپ don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on آگ کے, آگ with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....
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posted by KateKicksAss
 This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
Of course, if آپ are TRULY random, آپ shouldn't even need a guide, O_O

Randomness, randomosity, randomology, whatever آپ may call it, is using improvisation to create original humorous phrases یا monologues یا pine cones on the spot. 'Randomosity' is fun to express in the presence of دوستوں یا logging companies, but can quickly become extremely obnoxious. Have fun with your randomness, don't force it. Remember, if آپ got it, Flaunt it!

Steps

1. Break free of conventional rules. Finishing your sentences is not mandatory, merely optional and آپ can do it on Tuesdays but not on Wednesdays...
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"An old woman haunted me!"

One night my and سے طرف کی brothers and I were sleeping up stairs while my mom was downstairs reading. I was lying in بستر and heard this light stomping sound. Then the stomping sound got a little heavier. Soon, it became so loud that my brothers and I all came out of our room because we were scared. My mom had heard it too and she thought it was one of us playing a joke, but it wasn't - we were all in bed! We had no idea what to make of it and were really freaked out. But then, things got creepier....

"We found her stuff in the attic, her name was Tamara!"

I went over to...
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posted by yoshifan1976
Doctor Mario was in his office when suddenly there was an urgent phone call. It was Daisy. "Mario, come quick. Luigi's very sick." "I'll be there right now, Daisy", Mario told her. Nurse آڑو was very concerned. "What's wrong, Mario?" "Luigi's sick", he answered with worry. "Go", آڑو told him kindly. "I can take care of things here." "Thanks, Peach". He gave her a kiss and then rode over to Luigi and Daisy's house. گلبہار, گل داؤدی hugged Mario and led him upstairs. "Hey little brother", he smiled at Luigi. Luigi smiled back. He loves his big brother Mario. No one understood the brotherly bond between...
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added by loonybug
Source: tumblr
No, I seriously hate it whenever I hear kids talk about Disney and celebrities, they say crap like "OMG Justin Bieber is awesome!" "The Jonas Brothers are having a new movie!" "Have آپ watched Shake it up? It's the best thing Disney has made!"
It sickens me that parents allow their kids to watch & listen to the mediocre shit Disney Channel produces now rather than to have them watch & listen to some REAL Disney & music. Even the trash فلمیں like Prom, John Carter, Mars Needs Moms, and some of the Disney direct-to-video sequels are better than the crap Disney Channel has to offer....
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posted by hetalianstella
This is in no particular order.

- I hate how people automatically assume آپ are Chinese just because you're Asian, یا automatically assume آپ are Mexican just because آپ are Hispanic.

- How people always say they COULD care less when they COULDN'T care less!

- When people use an elevator.....for one floor!

- Perverts....I mean, I don't hate perverts. Some of my best دوستوں are perverts. But I'm not a pervert, so don't act like a pervert around me. Anywhere else is fine, but please respect my asexuality.

- When people overuse lol.
Especially when there is nothing funny!
Same with OMG. I...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
This is a My Little ٹٹو پرستار fiction. If آپ do not like talking horses that come in different colors, run for your life.



Song: link
 As the green lines come closer, so do the words.
As the green lines come closer, so do the words.


France, 1938

Two stallions were walking to a warden at a jail. They were outside, near the exit where all the prisoners were lined up.

SeanTheHedgehog Presents

Pierce Hawkins as....

Papillon

Police ٹٹو 54: All present, and accounted for sir.
Warden: Thank you.

Also starring Dragonaura15's Metal Gloss

Police ٹٹو 95: *Playing drums for five seconds*
Warden: As of this moment, آپ will all be transferred...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog

 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see.
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see.


On May 27, 2016, a war was started سے طرف کی a Hungarian named Gergely Szórád. He started this war on a website on the internet called Fanpop. He replaced an icon, using a picture that had Starlight Glimmer in it. Gergely also threatened to kill anyone that opposed the new شبیہ he created. This angered millions, and تقسیم, الگ کریں the My Little ٹٹو fandom into two. The S.G. Bronies, (the bad guys), and the Anti S.G. Bronies, (the good guys.) This war also created a new law in April 12, 2018, all forms of entertainment...
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Just something I want to experiment with.. Even though it's not October it is kinda Halloweeny...



10: Jack the Ripper:
Let's start with then obvious for a فہرست like this, the guy who disemboweled and probably dissected prostitutes, while also writing taunting letters to police. If آپ heard of Black Dalia, well this guy did this too 'all' his victims. And as the story goes, he was never found..


9: Jane Topper:
To me there was always disturbing about "Jolly Jane", the nurse was suppose to help people but instead poisons them, and worse still, lies with them as they died. Apparently for sexual...
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Mapquest Driving Directions is a web mapping service that provides detailed driving directions, traffic updates, and maps for various modes of transportation, including cars, bicycles, and public transportation. Mapquest Driving Directions is available on the web, as well as on mobile devices through the Mapquest app.

Cruise control, on the other hand, is a feature found in many modern cars that allows drivers to set a constant speed for their vehicle. With cruise control, drivers can relax their feet and maintain a consistent speed without needing to constantly adjust the accelerator pedal....
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added by Ranty-cat
Source: Fb