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posted by CokeTheUmbreon
 Motherfucking animals! -Martin Garrix
Motherfucking animals! -Martin Garrix
Hey, Fanpoppers! CokeTheUmbreon here, and I'm gonna tell آپ my پسندیدہ yo mama jokes! Please note that I don't own most of these. The jokes I do own will have a random emoji سے طرف کی dem. I was bored thnx to the inactivity and my friend not being around to RP with me today.

P.S. The random emojis neither the Umbreon pics will fit the theme of the jokes.

Anyways, let's get it on!

Yo mama so fat when she walks her love handles hit the quan. 😎

Yo mama so stank they use her bathwater as chemical weapons.

Yo mama so fat when she outweighs Groudon. 😈

Yo mama so ugly she gave Darkrai nightmares.

Yo mama so old she lives longer than Ninetales. 🍰

Yo mama so short when she smoke weed she can't even get high.

Yo mama so short she do backflips under the bed.

Yo mama so ugly and hairy, her looks inspired Wiwek to invent Jungleterror! 😦

Yo mama so old when she listened to Borgore she died. 🔫

Yo mama so stupid she brought a bible to Church's Chicken. 🎧

Yo mama so black she made Umbreon look white. 😟

Yo mama so fat she uses a boomerang to tie a بیلٹ, پٹی around her.

Yo mama so white she made the doughboy look like a Mexican.

Yo mama so fat when she wears a green bathrobe, people yell, "Tyranitar!" 😭

Yo mama so fat when she tried to make a Fanpop account, the entire site crashed! 🚯

Yo mama so stupid anytime Purple Rain come on, she runs and gets an umbrella. 😠

Yo mama so ugly Get Scared runs away from her. 🎶

Yo mama so old she new Burger King before he was a prince. (I actually twisted this one.)

Yo mama so stupid she put some donuts in a bowl and called dem Cheerios.

Yo mama so ugly One Direction went the other direction.

Yo mama so ugly when she look in the mirror her reflection ducked.

Yo mama so stupid she thought 30 سیکنڈ to Mars was a space program. 🌞

Yo mama so stupid when I asked her to get a color tv she said, "What color?"

Yo mama so fat when she wears a purple bathrobe, people think she's a Gengar with no smile. 😎

How was it? Like and comment!
 Me and my bae... Amba Shepherd is the Espeon.
Me and my bae... Amba Shepherd is the Espeon.
added by liridonarama96
added by EllentheStrange
Source: google image تلاش
added by EllentheStrange
Source: photobucket
added by r-pattz
Source: tumblr
added by majooF9T
Source: tumblr.com
added by Jeffersonian
added by r-pattz
added by dxarmy423
added by xoheartinohioxo
Source: dailysquee.com
added by xoheartinohioxo
Source: icanhascheezburger.com
added by sonicgoth
Source: amy
added by i_luv_angst
posted by jeniffer2200
 i'm a tumor
i'm a tumor
Family guy quotes:

*Black Jesus!* "I rode this town on ass!,Yo mama's ass!" *Black Jesus*

"Meth is a hell of a drug."

"I'm a tumor,I'm a tumor...I'm a tumor!,I'm a tumor,I'am a tumor...I'am tumor! oh oh! I'M A TUMOR!"

"Pick up my poop!"

"I have the power! He-Man!"

"Giggity!"

"Luis! Luis,Luis,Luis,Luis,Mum,Mum,Mum,Mum,Mum,Mommy,Mommy,Mommy,Mommy,Mama,Mama,Mama,Mama,Ma,Ma,Ma,Ma,Ma,Mom,Mom,Mom,Mom,Mom,Mummy,Mummy,Mama!,Mama! WHAT!? HI! eheheheheh"

______________________________________________


Spongebob Quotes:

"Oh Please! I have no soul"

"Fenland!"

"I defy آپ دل man!!"

"I don't think Wumbo is a real word...Come'on!...
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posted by kinga10111
A person can not fold a normal size piece of paper in half مزید than 8 times.



There are just over 300 million cell phones used daily in the United States alone.



A shrimps دل is in it’s head.



Kissing is actually healthier than shaking someones hand.




Natural pearls will melt in vinegar.



An زیتون درخت can live up to 1500 years.



Cleopatra married two of her brothers.



Ants can’t shut their eyes.




On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building looks like an American flag.



Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right, while women shirts have the buttons on the left.



Chewing...
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50 random سوالات people ask

1. Are we there yet?
2. Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
3. Which way to the emergency exit?
4. Does this make me look fat?
5. Can God make a bathtub so big He can't bathe in it?
6. Parlez-vous Français?
7. Why hasn't my check arrived yet?
8. How many fingers am I holding up?
9. Where do bad folks go when they die?
10. Why do we park on driveways and drive on freeways?
11. Who shot Mr. Burns?
12. What time is it?
13. Can I go to the bathroom?
14. May I go to the bathroom?
15. Does this hurt?
16. Will آپ marry me?
17. Whose fault is that?
18. I...
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posted by smileypop9
Found this on www.funny.com. I find a lot of things there that I post...


A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The دن came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing آپ know of?'
The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
'That's very good!' replied...
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1.His cell phone number (picture this آپ are on a تاریخ with him and she calls to ask wat time will she be home)

2.His parents-(If your mom knows his parents then be prepared to see sum embarrasing pics,of yuor boyfriend)

3. If he is a virgin!! (ppicture this your up in your room with him and she pops in when yall r about to kiss and she freaks out)

4.His ex-girlfriends (if your mom knows ur boyfriend's ex girlfriends then be prepared to hear what did, tthis girl havetht my daughter didnt)

5.What his style is (your out with ur bf and mom and آپ turn the corner and she yells OH LOOK A THOOSE SEXY...
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 X(
X(
I bet I know what some of آپ are thinking, "OMG! How can someone hate their family? That's horrible, what a brat یا what a b***h!"

Well, here's why :)

My mother is extremely controlling and b****es all the damn time and criticizes every little thing I do five times a freaking day! For example, I leave the door open for two منٹ when I'm only getting something and going out again, and she hollers at me about how I'm wasting heat and how she's going to take my آئی پوڈ, ipod یا laptop for a week if I left it open again. یا when I do all of the chores she expects me to do and I do them how she'd see...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Play with your food; to add effect, act like it's a special performance for the people at the اگلے table.
Turn around every thirty-seven سیکنڈ to the people at the اگلے میز, جدول and ask them if your نشست is too close, if you're talking too loud, etc.
Whenever آپ see someone getting up and leaving, bolt to their میز, جدول and take the tip before the wait-person returns.
Eat REALLY loud; make disgusting noises; slurp EVERY time آپ take a sip of your drink.
Constantly re-adjust the positions of absolutely EVERYTHING at your table; seats, silverware, dishes, the میز, جدول itself; and make sure to make...
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