#1:
Debbie: RPG's aren't that bad.
(Jon throws "BASICALLY A FACT IN BROAD TERMS" onto screen)
Debbie's Teacher: Spells, poison, battles, maiming, killing?
Debbie: Yeah, but it's all imagination
Debbie's Teacher: IS IT?!
Jon: Is it, Debbie? Well I suggest آپ read a totally real book that has absolutely no poisoning, maiming یا killing and it called the Holy Bible an- (pauses, staring blankly as he raises up the Bible) (whispery).. Oh no... that book-that book done got that.
#2:
Jon: We're here to watch, Howling ll, your sisters a werewolf.
Sister: JON! How could آپ say that about me?!
Jon: Whatever, you're going through puberty, it's normal!
#3:
Penny: Drugs can get آپ in big trouble. آپ can go to principal's office, یا go to jail.
Jon: There's a pretty big jump between those two.
Penny: آپ can't watch TV یا eat pizza.
Jon: I'm out. No pizza? Can't watch TV, can't eat pizza? Go to jail? Can't eat pizza? Won't do 'em.
Penny: Recess is good. Hamsters are good.
Jon: Hamsters are goo...? Hamsters are good? How are..? Penny, you're getting off track.
#4:
Woman: I didn't go around calling myself a farter.
Jon: Well that's probably a good thing, I don't know if آپ wanna go around doing that, calling yourself that.
Woman: In my head, I was a social farter.
Jon: (Puzzled look)
Woman: I only farted occasionally.
Jon: I'm getting uncomfortable, I don't really like this, can we turn this one off?
Woman: And my boyfriend called me out on it.
Jon: And good on him. He's taking it right where it matters.
Woman: I even woke up in the morning craving a fart.
Jon (sarcastically): Nice one guys, sick metaphor. آپ slipped it right in. I can't believe how smart آپ were for writing that.
#5:
Nitro: ARE آپ READY TO RPG?!
Jon (taking out an RPG-7): Oh, motherfucker, I was born ready!
Nitro: Then let's get ready to RPG!!!
Party: RPG! RPG! RPG!
Jon: Well if آپ say so!
(Fires a rocket at Marcie and Debbie)
(Cue a shout of "ALLAHU AKBAR!!!" followed سے طرف کی a building exploding)
#6:
JonTron: Let's celebrate. Yeah! Ugly people never win! That's the moral of the story, guys!
#7:
JonTron: Oh geez. Oh darn it. They got fat.
#8:
Jon: Oh, now that's cool I'm jumpin', I'm jivin'... (Vanilla Ice finally appears) Annnnnd, It's gone! It's gone, It's absolutely gone, it's ruined, unsalvageable...
#9:
When Ice's character sees a pretty girl on a horse, he, for whatever reason decides to jump his motorbike over the fence to greet her, scaring the horse enough to knock her off. Understandably enraged that he nearly killed her, she punches him which Ice respondes سے طرف کی saying ''"what's your problem!?"
Jon: Yeah what's your problem!? آپ acting like I just jumped a fence on a motorcycle making آپ fall off your horse, and nearly break your spine! What are you, some kinda, (draws rectangle with hands) some kinda square?!
#10:
Jon: Agh! I hate it when my computer combusts because my own blood from my blood bag is spilling on my computer AAAAAGHHH! If only there was some way to fix this!
(A hand comes out of nowhere and sloppily slaps flex tape onto the hole)
Jon: Of course! The solution was Flex Tape!
#11:
Jon: FLEX TAPE! Okay, آپ heard about this stuff! I mean, this is basically— have آپ heard of JESUS?! WELL EVEN HE COULDN'T DO AS MUCH AS FLEX TAPE, APPARENTLY!!
#12:
Phil: (grunting with each stab) That's a lotta damage!
Jon: That's a LOTTA DAA MIDGE
Phil: That's a lotta damage!
Jon: That's not that much damage, really, Phil. That's not—it could be worse...
#13:
Jon: Dude, you're number one.
Sergio: No, you're number one.
Jon: No, you're number one.
Sergio: No, you're number one.
Jon (now مزید angry): Dude, آپ are number one!
Sergio: No, آپ are number one!
Jon: M***, آپ ARE NUMBER ONE!
Sergio: [visibly Corpsing] NO, M***, آپ ARE NUMBER ONE!
Jon: I WILL F*** KILL YOU!!!
#14:
Jon: But anyways, this ووڈکا, شراب is very special. Mainly because Dan Aykroyd is uh, 100% butt-fuck insane.
#15:
Jon: (ringing a loud bell) Four منٹ and fifty six seconds! That's four منٹ and fifty-six سیکنڈ this man took to say the word ووڈکا, شراب in this commercial about VODKA!
#16:
Gwyneth: This is the shiiiit!
Jon: Don't curse, Gwyneth-(a train horn goes off in the distance) SHUT THE FUCK UP! Don't curse, Gwyneth.
#17:
In video, guy starts fanboying at seeing Elijah Wood on the plane
Jon: Aw dude, (camera zooms into guy اگلے to Elijah) That's a sweet hat!
#18:
Nito (gets disturbingly close to the girls)
Debbie: We're...
Macie: Just leaving:
Jon: Oh hi, Just Leaving, I'm *blows whistle* RAPE!!!
#19:
Ben: That's a fake. That's not my sister.
Jenny: Ben I know those people.
Jon: PROOF!!!
#20:
anilla Ice: So what's it like?
Girl: What's what like?
Ice: آپ know, having.. Parents.. Brothers.. All that, stuff.. Y'know?
Jon (dressed as alien): I am simply asking a normal human سوال out of curiosity not to mine data HUMAAAAANNNNNN!!!
#21:
Jon (singing): BLOOOOOOOOOD DICE! BLOOOOOOOOOD DICE! D&D WILL! GIVE YOU! AAAAAAAIDS! THEN YOU'LL GO TO HELL WITH ALL THE CATHOLICS AND JEWS AND PLAY MAGIC THE GATHERING WITH SATAAAAAAAAAN!!!
(later)
Jon (singing): PLAAAYIN' GAMES WITH AN EVIL WITCH WOMAN "WHO'S DEFINITELY COLLEGE AGE", WAIT, WHY DID THAT GUY JUST BLOW SMOKE OUT OF HIS FACE?! THAT'S WEIRD... When آپ die in the game, آپ die in real life, except ya don't, آپ go back to your dorm and play some GTA V!!
#22:
Dad character: My real name, is Hacket.. James Anthony Hackett, Jimmy.
Jon: Jimbo, Jim-Jar, sometimes down at the pub they'd call me Dan, but my name isn't "Dan". I was once visited سے طرف کی an alien species. They referred to me as [cue incomprehensible distortion]. I've never been able to unhear یا unsee that.
#23:
Jon: We get it, Rareware! آپ used to be cool! Can-can آپ get on with it? STOP!.. STOP IT!.. STOP TAUNTING ME!
#24:
"STOP!!"
#25:
Jon: Cars?.. Cars!?.. CAAAAARS!?
Jon: (scream singing) AND IIIIIIIII!!
Jon: (normal) ہولی S***!!
Jon: (scream singing) WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOOUU!!
Jon: (normal) CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO THIS TO ME!? GODDAMMIT!, HOW CAN آپ DO THIS TO ME!?!?
#26:
Jon: She's sinking! The plot is sinking! Quick, hire the emergency writers! (tosses a bunch of script pages out the window)
#27:
Jon: ...the fuck am I looking at right now? Am I looking at آپ dreaming about being at the ساحل سمندر, بیچ while you're at the FUCKIN' BEACH?!
#28:
Jon: And let me tell ya, that's not the only talking cat I got in this house. And no, سے طرف کی the way, I am not referring to Talking Tom.
(Cut to a picture of Talking Tom and Angela, all with screaming in the background. Zooms into Tom's face, then zooms into Tom and Angela's hands.)
#29:
Phil: Vroom, vroom! Beep '! Beep beep!
Chris: Why do آپ always do that, dad?
Jon: Yeah, dad, every دن with this shit, I'm sittin' here, readin' my book, آپ waltz in the door make a car noise at me, I'm supposed to like it? (Begins putting on a large bib) Well fuck آپ dad, honestly, if it was a choo-choo train noise, maybe I would laugh, but a car noise? What do I look like to you, some sorta big baby?! (Puts a pacifier in his mouth and starts shaking a rattle)
#30:
Susan: Just help me find my shoes, okay? یا I won't feed آپ this week.
Jon: (With additional reverb) What a big happy family we got here.
#31:
After wandering around for the entire movie, Duffy finally makes a contribution to the plot...by immediately getting run over سے طرف کی a car.
Jon: (long moment of horrified silence) ...Well that cat ain't talking no more, I'll tell ya that much.
#32:
In response to Luther, "like a normal person", handing out flyers to everyone in his office that he isn't doing Christmas, Jon wonders who would actually care. Cut to two employees (one played سے طرف کی Jon) getting کہا flyers.
Employee 1 (Jon): I’m letting آپ know I‘ll be, skipping Christmas… (shakes with tranquil fury, crumbles paper)
Employee 2: (calmly, to himself) Go ahead... Run... But we will find you.
#33:
After Luther (rather rudely) explains why he isn't buying a Christmas tree,
Jon: Yeah fuck آپ for trying to celebrate the spirit of christmas while making my life محفوظ warm and convenient!! (slams down christmas tree)
Jon (while pissing on the tree) How's this for a Merry Christmas, آپ bunch a' young innocent children trying to foster a loving community spirit?!
#34:
Luther sees cruise ad, smiles to himself.
Jon (spits) Fuck christmas! I’ll rather drink my own urine than celebrate christmas! (to viewer) Thanks for watching my christmas special everyone, be محفوظ (spits)
#35:
Jon: Okay. One.
Jacques: What even.
Jon: I counted آپ in—
Jacques: Go to fucking hell.
#36:
Judge: آپ weren't happy being the youngest. آپ didn't accuss the way things were, role the clip.
Matt in clip: Reality, who needs it, I hate reality.
17 LIFE SENTENCES
5 LETHAL INJECTIONS
10 DECADES OF FAMILIAL SHAMING
Jon: The moral of this story is "Never think, یا else the secret police might catch آپ and kill آپ no matter what!”
#37:
Matt: Endorse? Endorse what?!
Jon (as Matt): I thought sports were played outdorse.
#38:
Jon: (cheerfully) Oh, Larry. آپ jus- a- st- you're a fucking asshole.
#39:
Game: This takes place Steptember.
Jon: What a relief, it’s not even the scary month.
Game corrects it to October.
Jon (horrified) OH, DAT'S THE ONE!!!
#40:
Girl in game: From now on, what kind of place will we be living in?
Guy in game: That’s the fifth time you['ve] asked!
Jon: Yeah, well, maybe it'd be the last time if آپ just fucking told me!
#41;
Jon: It's Christmas time. A time to spend with friends, family, and of course little baby Jesus over here! How آپ enjoying your birthday, buddy? enjoy it while آپ can, I mean they do some "fucked up" shit to you! Like, they fuck آپ up, dude.
#42:
"What else could ever happen to us, today?”
Jon: Lady, آپ just got turned into a horse! I'm 'onna say sky's the limit!
#43:
"HOW آپ LIVIN' CHICKEN BOY?"
Jon (dressed as a chicken): Well first of all, that insult could've used some work. سیکنڈ of all, the pain and humiliation I feel daily are immense. For someone like آپ to cut someone like me deeper...Well, آپ must have problems yourself buddy, so I feel bad for you. (whips out a nunchuck and begins swinging it around awkwardly) AND HOW FUCKING DARE آپ SAY THAT TO ME I'M GONNA MAKE آپ FOR-REGRET THOSE GODDAMN WORDS!!
#44:
Snow White: This is my song. I am singing it now.
Jon: Aw, sick lyrics, dude! Sick song! (Jon pulls a lighter out of his pocket and starts waving it back and forth)
#45:
Jon in Elsa's dress.
THIS WAS A MISTAAAAAKE!!!
#46:
L.O.G.: In line with Banjo tradition, your challenge will consist of collecting as many pointless objects as possible.
(Record Needle Scratch)
Jon: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! آپ JUST HOLD ON A SECOND!
(cut to a fat Banjo running and picking up coins at a horrendously slow pace)
Jon: HAHAHAHA GET IT? BECAUSE BANJO-KAZOOIE WAS TOTALLY "THIS" TEDIOUS! (cut to black) (Jon's voice far away) HOLY SHIT!!!
Debbie: RPG's aren't that bad.
(Jon throws "BASICALLY A FACT IN BROAD TERMS" onto screen)
Debbie's Teacher: Spells, poison, battles, maiming, killing?
Debbie: Yeah, but it's all imagination
Debbie's Teacher: IS IT?!
Jon: Is it, Debbie? Well I suggest آپ read a totally real book that has absolutely no poisoning, maiming یا killing and it called the Holy Bible an- (pauses, staring blankly as he raises up the Bible) (whispery).. Oh no... that book-that book done got that.
#2:
Jon: We're here to watch, Howling ll, your sisters a werewolf.
Sister: JON! How could آپ say that about me?!
Jon: Whatever, you're going through puberty, it's normal!
#3:
Penny: Drugs can get آپ in big trouble. آپ can go to principal's office, یا go to jail.
Jon: There's a pretty big jump between those two.
Penny: آپ can't watch TV یا eat pizza.
Jon: I'm out. No pizza? Can't watch TV, can't eat pizza? Go to jail? Can't eat pizza? Won't do 'em.
Penny: Recess is good. Hamsters are good.
Jon: Hamsters are goo...? Hamsters are good? How are..? Penny, you're getting off track.
#4:
Woman: I didn't go around calling myself a farter.
Jon: Well that's probably a good thing, I don't know if آپ wanna go around doing that, calling yourself that.
Woman: In my head, I was a social farter.
Jon: (Puzzled look)
Woman: I only farted occasionally.
Jon: I'm getting uncomfortable, I don't really like this, can we turn this one off?
Woman: And my boyfriend called me out on it.
Jon: And good on him. He's taking it right where it matters.
Woman: I even woke up in the morning craving a fart.
Jon (sarcastically): Nice one guys, sick metaphor. آپ slipped it right in. I can't believe how smart آپ were for writing that.
#5:
Nitro: ARE آپ READY TO RPG?!
Jon (taking out an RPG-7): Oh, motherfucker, I was born ready!
Nitro: Then let's get ready to RPG!!!
Party: RPG! RPG! RPG!
Jon: Well if آپ say so!
(Fires a rocket at Marcie and Debbie)
(Cue a shout of "ALLAHU AKBAR!!!" followed سے طرف کی a building exploding)
#6:
JonTron: Let's celebrate. Yeah! Ugly people never win! That's the moral of the story, guys!
#7:
JonTron: Oh geez. Oh darn it. They got fat.
#8:
Jon: Oh, now that's cool I'm jumpin', I'm jivin'... (Vanilla Ice finally appears) Annnnnd, It's gone! It's gone, It's absolutely gone, it's ruined, unsalvageable...
#9:
When Ice's character sees a pretty girl on a horse, he, for whatever reason decides to jump his motorbike over the fence to greet her, scaring the horse enough to knock her off. Understandably enraged that he nearly killed her, she punches him which Ice respondes سے طرف کی saying ''"what's your problem!?"
Jon: Yeah what's your problem!? آپ acting like I just jumped a fence on a motorcycle making آپ fall off your horse, and nearly break your spine! What are you, some kinda, (draws rectangle with hands) some kinda square?!
#10:
Jon: Agh! I hate it when my computer combusts because my own blood from my blood bag is spilling on my computer AAAAAGHHH! If only there was some way to fix this!
(A hand comes out of nowhere and sloppily slaps flex tape onto the hole)
Jon: Of course! The solution was Flex Tape!
#11:
Jon: FLEX TAPE! Okay, آپ heard about this stuff! I mean, this is basically— have آپ heard of JESUS?! WELL EVEN HE COULDN'T DO AS MUCH AS FLEX TAPE, APPARENTLY!!
#12:
Phil: (grunting with each stab) That's a lotta damage!
Jon: That's a LOTTA DAA MIDGE
Phil: That's a lotta damage!
Jon: That's not that much damage, really, Phil. That's not—it could be worse...
#13:
Jon: Dude, you're number one.
Sergio: No, you're number one.
Jon: No, you're number one.
Sergio: No, you're number one.
Jon (now مزید angry): Dude, آپ are number one!
Sergio: No, آپ are number one!
Jon: M***, آپ ARE NUMBER ONE!
Sergio: [visibly Corpsing] NO, M***, آپ ARE NUMBER ONE!
Jon: I WILL F*** KILL YOU!!!
#14:
Jon: But anyways, this ووڈکا, شراب is very special. Mainly because Dan Aykroyd is uh, 100% butt-fuck insane.
#15:
Jon: (ringing a loud bell) Four منٹ and fifty six seconds! That's four منٹ and fifty-six سیکنڈ this man took to say the word ووڈکا, شراب in this commercial about VODKA!
#16:
Gwyneth: This is the shiiiit!
Jon: Don't curse, Gwyneth-(a train horn goes off in the distance) SHUT THE FUCK UP! Don't curse, Gwyneth.
#17:
In video, guy starts fanboying at seeing Elijah Wood on the plane
Jon: Aw dude, (camera zooms into guy اگلے to Elijah) That's a sweet hat!
#18:
Nito (gets disturbingly close to the girls)
Debbie: We're...
Macie: Just leaving:
Jon: Oh hi, Just Leaving, I'm *blows whistle* RAPE!!!
#19:
Ben: That's a fake. That's not my sister.
Jenny: Ben I know those people.
Jon: PROOF!!!
#20:
anilla Ice: So what's it like?
Girl: What's what like?
Ice: آپ know, having.. Parents.. Brothers.. All that, stuff.. Y'know?
Jon (dressed as alien): I am simply asking a normal human سوال out of curiosity not to mine data HUMAAAAANNNNNN!!!
#21:
Jon (singing): BLOOOOOOOOOD DICE! BLOOOOOOOOOD DICE! D&D WILL! GIVE YOU! AAAAAAAIDS! THEN YOU'LL GO TO HELL WITH ALL THE CATHOLICS AND JEWS AND PLAY MAGIC THE GATHERING WITH SATAAAAAAAAAN!!!
(later)
Jon (singing): PLAAAYIN' GAMES WITH AN EVIL WITCH WOMAN "WHO'S DEFINITELY COLLEGE AGE", WAIT, WHY DID THAT GUY JUST BLOW SMOKE OUT OF HIS FACE?! THAT'S WEIRD... When آپ die in the game, آپ die in real life, except ya don't, آپ go back to your dorm and play some GTA V!!
#22:
Dad character: My real name, is Hacket.. James Anthony Hackett, Jimmy.
Jon: Jimbo, Jim-Jar, sometimes down at the pub they'd call me Dan, but my name isn't "Dan". I was once visited سے طرف کی an alien species. They referred to me as [cue incomprehensible distortion]. I've never been able to unhear یا unsee that.
#23:
Jon: We get it, Rareware! آپ used to be cool! Can-can آپ get on with it? STOP!.. STOP IT!.. STOP TAUNTING ME!
#24:
"STOP!!"
#25:
Jon: Cars?.. Cars!?.. CAAAAARS!?
Jon: (scream singing) AND IIIIIIIII!!
Jon: (normal) ہولی S***!!
Jon: (scream singing) WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOOUU!!
Jon: (normal) CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO THIS TO ME!? GODDAMMIT!, HOW CAN آپ DO THIS TO ME!?!?
#26:
Jon: She's sinking! The plot is sinking! Quick, hire the emergency writers! (tosses a bunch of script pages out the window)
#27:
Jon: ...the fuck am I looking at right now? Am I looking at آپ dreaming about being at the ساحل سمندر, بیچ while you're at the FUCKIN' BEACH?!
#28:
Jon: And let me tell ya, that's not the only talking cat I got in this house. And no, سے طرف کی the way, I am not referring to Talking Tom.
(Cut to a picture of Talking Tom and Angela, all with screaming in the background. Zooms into Tom's face, then zooms into Tom and Angela's hands.)
#29:
Phil: Vroom, vroom! Beep '! Beep beep!
Chris: Why do آپ always do that, dad?
Jon: Yeah, dad, every دن with this shit, I'm sittin' here, readin' my book, آپ waltz in the door make a car noise at me, I'm supposed to like it? (Begins putting on a large bib) Well fuck آپ dad, honestly, if it was a choo-choo train noise, maybe I would laugh, but a car noise? What do I look like to you, some sorta big baby?! (Puts a pacifier in his mouth and starts shaking a rattle)
#30:
Susan: Just help me find my shoes, okay? یا I won't feed آپ this week.
Jon: (With additional reverb) What a big happy family we got here.
#31:
After wandering around for the entire movie, Duffy finally makes a contribution to the plot...by immediately getting run over سے طرف کی a car.
Jon: (long moment of horrified silence) ...Well that cat ain't talking no more, I'll tell ya that much.
#32:
In response to Luther, "like a normal person", handing out flyers to everyone in his office that he isn't doing Christmas, Jon wonders who would actually care. Cut to two employees (one played سے طرف کی Jon) getting کہا flyers.
Employee 1 (Jon): I’m letting آپ know I‘ll be, skipping Christmas… (shakes with tranquil fury, crumbles paper)
Employee 2: (calmly, to himself) Go ahead... Run... But we will find you.
#33:
After Luther (rather rudely) explains why he isn't buying a Christmas tree,
Jon: Yeah fuck آپ for trying to celebrate the spirit of christmas while making my life محفوظ warm and convenient!! (slams down christmas tree)
Jon (while pissing on the tree) How's this for a Merry Christmas, آپ bunch a' young innocent children trying to foster a loving community spirit?!
#34:
Luther sees cruise ad, smiles to himself.
Jon (spits) Fuck christmas! I’ll rather drink my own urine than celebrate christmas! (to viewer) Thanks for watching my christmas special everyone, be محفوظ (spits)
#35:
Jon: Okay. One.
Jacques: What even.
Jon: I counted آپ in—
Jacques: Go to fucking hell.
#36:
Judge: آپ weren't happy being the youngest. آپ didn't accuss the way things were, role the clip.
Matt in clip: Reality, who needs it, I hate reality.
17 LIFE SENTENCES
5 LETHAL INJECTIONS
10 DECADES OF FAMILIAL SHAMING
Jon: The moral of this story is "Never think, یا else the secret police might catch آپ and kill آپ no matter what!”
#37:
Matt: Endorse? Endorse what?!
Jon (as Matt): I thought sports were played outdorse.
#38:
Jon: (cheerfully) Oh, Larry. آپ jus- a- st- you're a fucking asshole.
#39:
Game: This takes place Steptember.
Jon: What a relief, it’s not even the scary month.
Game corrects it to October.
Jon (horrified) OH, DAT'S THE ONE!!!
#40:
Girl in game: From now on, what kind of place will we be living in?
Guy in game: That’s the fifth time you['ve] asked!
Jon: Yeah, well, maybe it'd be the last time if آپ just fucking told me!
#41;
Jon: It's Christmas time. A time to spend with friends, family, and of course little baby Jesus over here! How آپ enjoying your birthday, buddy? enjoy it while آپ can, I mean they do some "fucked up" shit to you! Like, they fuck آپ up, dude.
#42:
"What else could ever happen to us, today?”
Jon: Lady, آپ just got turned into a horse! I'm 'onna say sky's the limit!
#43:
"HOW آپ LIVIN' CHICKEN BOY?"
Jon (dressed as a chicken): Well first of all, that insult could've used some work. سیکنڈ of all, the pain and humiliation I feel daily are immense. For someone like آپ to cut someone like me deeper...Well, آپ must have problems yourself buddy, so I feel bad for you. (whips out a nunchuck and begins swinging it around awkwardly) AND HOW FUCKING DARE آپ SAY THAT TO ME I'M GONNA MAKE آپ FOR-REGRET THOSE GODDAMN WORDS!!
#44:
Snow White: This is my song. I am singing it now.
Jon: Aw, sick lyrics, dude! Sick song! (Jon pulls a lighter out of his pocket and starts waving it back and forth)
#45:
Jon in Elsa's dress.
THIS WAS A MISTAAAAAKE!!!
#46:
L.O.G.: In line with Banjo tradition, your challenge will consist of collecting as many pointless objects as possible.
(Record Needle Scratch)
Jon: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! آپ JUST HOLD ON A SECOND!
(cut to a fat Banjo running and picking up coins at a horrendously slow pace)
Jon: HAHAHAHA GET IT? BECAUSE BANJO-KAZOOIE WAS TOTALLY "THIS" TEDIOUS! (cut to black) (Jon's voice far away) HOLY SHIT!!!
10. Sing “Bad Touch” سے طرف کی the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.
9.Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues
8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.
7.End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”
6. Whenever he complains یا argues, reply with “What are آپ gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”
5.Ask him to be a gangsta with آپ for Halloween
4. دکھائیں him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he thinks that he looks like a pedophile یا if it's just you.
3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.
2. Whenever he leaves a room یا says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.
1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” سے طرف کی Madonna.
9.Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues
8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.
7.End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”
6. Whenever he complains یا argues, reply with “What are آپ gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”
5.Ask him to be a gangsta with آپ for Halloween
4. دکھائیں him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he thinks that he looks like a pedophile یا if it's just you.
3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.
2. Whenever he leaves a room یا says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.
1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” سے طرف کی Madonna.
There is a topless تصویر of Sel going around, but it’s FAKE!O_O
Sources connected to Gomez told website TMZ that Selena and company ‘are furious that her reputation is being sullied سے طرف کی some perverts with Photoshop.’
"The alleged تصویر of Selena Gomez is absolutely not her. Selena’s family is pursuing all available remedies to deal with the offender.” کہا her reps.
Now they are going to go after the people responsible.
Awful, isn’t it, some of the weird things people do on the Internet!?
UGGHHHH...
source: TMZ
-Well these stuff don't happen only to famous people,But they also happen to normal fellows and This results in big problems which have no limits!
Sources connected to Gomez told website TMZ that Selena and company ‘are furious that her reputation is being sullied سے طرف کی some perverts with Photoshop.’
"The alleged تصویر of Selena Gomez is absolutely not her. Selena’s family is pursuing all available remedies to deal with the offender.” کہا her reps.
Now they are going to go after the people responsible.
Awful, isn’t it, some of the weird things people do on the Internet!?
UGGHHHH...
source: TMZ
-Well these stuff don't happen only to famous people,But they also happen to normal fellows and This results in big problems which have no limits!
If آپ think آپ reading all the books, seeing all the movies, and buying all the stuff makes for a real پرستار Twilight fan, wait until آپ read this news.v
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It turns out that there is a woman named Cathy Ward, 49, who is a mega پرستار of the series. She has her entire back tattooed with the characters from the series and plans to cover her whole body... WoW!
Cathy discovered the series a few years پہلے when a friend gave her the first movie and since then she has been love with all the mythology and characters.
Source: objetivofamosos
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It turns out that there is a woman named Cathy Ward, 49, who is a mega پرستار of the series. She has her entire back tattooed with the characters from the series and plans to cover her whole body... WoW!
Cathy discovered the series a few years پہلے when a friend gave her the first movie and since then she has been love with all the mythology and characters.
Source: objetivofamosos
Chuck Norris can make onions cry.
Chuck Norris can خارج the Recycling Bin.
Ghosts are actually caused سے طرف کی Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Chuck Norris can strangle آپ with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris once had a دل attack; his دل lost.
Chuck Norris doesn't turn the light on; he turns the dark off.
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters; not even a mirror is stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's tears can cure aids, too bad he never cries. (silvaze9)
Salati is a leopard that was adopted سے طرف کی the Brooker family in South Africa. The family helps to rehabilitate animals that are injured. Salati came to the Brooker family when it was just a cub, and instantly became دوستوں with Tommy, a golden retriever. Tommy was also a کتے at the time.
آپ would think that a friendship between this unlikely pair would be impossible. But no. The two animals connected from the first moment. Now the two animals are fully grown and they are still friends. They spend time together running, playing, sleeping, whatever!
They have left behind the stereotype of cat and dog and found friendship instead.
Hayley
